Makhe sibone indlela yokuziphatha kakuhle nomnxila? Okokuqala, akufanele uzame ukulwa notywala ngenxa yakhe, kodwa wena. Inyaniso kukuba kwimeko enjalo, abantu abasondeleyo abakwazi ukukhetha ngokufanelekileyo imodeli yokuziphatha. Baqala ukuziphatha ngendlela enokuba, endaweni yokuphucula, bangela umntu ukuba ahlaziyeke. Ngaphezu koko, kunokuthi kwenzeke ukuba intsapho ayiyi kuba ngumnxila, kodwa ngaphezulu.
Ngokomzekelo, kwiintsapho ezininzi, abantu abasondelene nabaphuza baqala ukuziphatheka njengama-nannies. Oku akunakulungile. Inyani kukuba ama-nannies anjalo ahlala ezama ukuphazamisa utywala kwaye akakho, nakubani na phantsi kwayo nayiphi na imeko, angaxeleli oko kwenzeka ngokwenene kwiintsapho zabo kwaye zeziphi iingxaki ezithatha umthandayo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abafazi abanxilisayo benza oku. Baphuthuma ngotywala, njengokungathi nabantwana abancinci. Xa beya kusela, abafazi abanjalo bawafuna ejikeleze isixeko, baxoshwa ngaphandle kweentlanga, bathathwe kubahlobo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantu abaphuzayo basabela ngayo ngoku kude bevuya kwaye banombulelo. Ezi zinjalo zifumana inxalenye enkulu yenzondo, ukuxhatshazwa, kunye nokubetha. Kodwa, kunjalo, ungatshintshi imodeli yokuziphatha. Nangona xa umntu ehlambulukile, bazama rhoqo ukumncedisa. Ngaloo ndlela, uhlobo oluthile lwabasetyhini lufuna ukugcina amadoda athandwayo ekuphuzeni. Abasetyhini balungele ukuthatha yonke imisebenzi yasendlini, bakhulise abantwana, bafumane imali, ukuba kuphela umntu onxilisayo akaphuzanga. Kodwa, le mpawu ayiphuculanga, kodwa iyancipha imeko yakhe. Ukuze ungenzi loo ntokazi, indoda iya kuqala ukusela kwakhona. Ngaphezu koko, oomama ngokwawo basebenzisa inyaniso yokuba umntu kufuneka aphile ngaloo ndlela. Nangona baqhawula umtshato xa bephuza amadoda, akuqhelekanga ukuba amabhinqa atyathele izidakwa kwaye atywala okwesibini. Abaninzi bacinga ukuba i karma kwaye iwele. Kodwa, enyanisweni, yonke into ilula kakhulu, kwaye ibaluleke kakhulu, inokumiswa. Kufuneka ukuba utshintshe uhlobo lokuziphatha kwakho kwaye ufunde ukuqonda umntu onenkathazo yezobisi ngokuhlukileyo.
Ukuze uncede ngokwenene umntu onxilisayo, kunokunyusa imeko yakhe, kufuneka ukhumbule imithetho embalwa elula.
Umntu wokuqala: utywala ngokwakhe kufuneka aqonde ingxaki yakhe. Kumele aqonde ukuba i-vodka imqobo imvimbela ukuba aphile. Ukuze kwenzeke oku, kufuneka ufunde ukuba ungathathi iingxaki zakhe. Ungazami ukusombulula into ethile kuye. Uyenze yena-makangayibheki indlela yokuphuma. Ungamniki amatyala akhe, ulungele ukusebenza emsebenzini, njalo njalo. Kwakhona, akufuneki utywala izidyobisi ukuze uzive ungcono. Ama-hangovers anceda umntu oqhelekileyo oye wanyisela kakhulu kwaye unesidyo-ntwazana kusasa ukuze abuyele. Kodwa, lotywala awusoze waba sisihlandlo sokungena ekuphuzeni. Kwaye utywala uhlukile. Nangona idosi encinci iya kukhokelela ekubeni uya kuyilibala malunga nayo yonke into kwaye uya kuqalisa ukusela.
Kwakhona, ukuba unxibelelana nomntu ozama ukuyeka ukusela, ungamthembisi nantoni na, ekugqibeleni, awukwazi ukwenza. Ukongezelela, abaze babatshitshise nantoni na, ngelixa bengaphelelanga. Kulo rhulumente, abantu baba njengabantwana. Bafuna zombini ukukhuthaza nokujezisa. Ngoko ke, ukuba umntu onxilisayo oyeka ukusela, ugcina kwaye uzama, ewe, uyamdumisa. Kodwa, ukuba ubuyele kwibhotile, zama ukuzalisekisa zonke izinto ezisongelayo. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba uthembisa ukuba kwimeko yesinye, uthabathe abantwana kwaye ushiye-kwaye wenze. Kufuneka azi ukuba awusongeli, kodwa unako ukwenza izinto. Kule meko kuphela, izisongelo zakho ziya kuthatha isenzo, njengoko umntu uya kuqala ukukhathazeka ukuba xa ephula, uya kuzisa konke ubomi.
Ukongezelela, ngokumalunga notywala awukwazi ukuzisela wena kwaye ube nesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo kotywala. Ukuba wena ngokwakho ungumntu ongafuni ukusela, mhlawumbi ngokulinganisela, utywala uyayeka ukukuqonda njengagunya. Inyaniso kukuba kuwo onke amagama akho kunye nezimvo, uya kuthi uyaphuza, kwaye akabi ngaphezu kwakho. Kwakhona, kunye neenxila, ungalokothi uthethe kakubi utywala. Kodwa, ngelo xesha, akukho mzekelo kulungile ukubetha izitya, umemeza kumntu uze wenze amahlazo. Kule meko, uya kufezekisa kuphela ukuba uyacaphuka kwaye uyaqhubeka ephuza, echaza ukuba unengcinezelo enkulu ngenxa yomfazi wakhe, ongayiqondi nhlobo. Ngako oko, kwiimeko ezinjalo, kubalulekile ukuba uziphathe ngokuzithoba kwaye ucebise. Musa ukutshatyalaliswa ekuqumbiseni utywala. Musa ukuthetha naye ngeemvakalelo, kodwa ngeengxabano. Incoko kufuneka ibe yinjongo kwaye igqibe ngokugqibeleleyo. Ngaphezu koko, umntu akafanele ahlale kwisithembiso esivumelekileyo somntu onjalo ukuba ayeke ukusela. Oku akuyi kukwanela. Kufuneka uqinisekise ukuba uyazi: ngokuphazamiseka okulandelayo, ngokuqinisekileyo uthabatha iindlela ezithile.
Ungaze ufihla iingxaki zomntu wakho othandekayo kwabanye. Ngokwemvelo, unentloni kwaye ungathandeki, kodwa oku kufihlakeleyo okukhokelela ekubeni umntu akhathazeki malunga nendlela abanye abaya kumphatha ngayo. Ngoko ke, ukuba uhlazo, mazise abantu ngabantu. Makuvelele, ngenxa yokuba amadoda amaninzi aphantse kunene kakhulu. Kwakhona, zama ukwenza okuthile ngotywala. Musa nje ukunyanzelisa. Khawukhumbule nje ukuba uyamthanda, yintoni eyamthanda, oko abantu abaye baphoswa xa ephantsi kobuso. Yisebenzise oku, uye kwi-cinema okanye kunye naye, uthetha nabahlobo bakhe abasendulo abangayi kusela kunye naye baze bamphuze kunye nabo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, awukwazi ukwenza konke kanye, kodwa ukuba unyuke ngokuthe ngcembe umntu ngaphandle kwesangqa evalwe ngotywala, ngoko, ekugqibeleni, uya kufumana.