Ngoko kutheni abesifazane bexhatshazwa ngamadoda? Mhlawumbi, abafazi bayadumala kubafana banamhlanje ngenxa yokuba bafumene isibindi nesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo kwisini esahlukileyo. Amantombazana adidekile kumadoda, ebuka ooyise kunye noomkhulu. Vumelana, kuba abaninzi abantu besi sizukulwana banamanani ahluke ngokupheleleyo. Kutheni abafazi asekhulile behlala bemangalisa ubuhlobo bentsha? Kuba ngelo xesha kwanao mntu ongafundile wayesazi ukuba umfazi kufuneka anike isandla, uvule iingcango phambi kwakhe aze adlule phambi kwakhe, kwaye akaze afunge phambi kwamadodakazi. Kwamadoda anamhlanje, akunakufaneka ukuba aqonde ukukhuliswa okunjalo. Nangona abazali bebafaka imali kubo ukususela ebuntwaneni, abafana, bajonge, ngesinye isizathu banqume ukuba ukufundiswa kubuthathaka kunye nokuyeka ukuziphatha ngokuqhelekileyo. Ngaphandle kwimiba ephakamileyo emibini kunye neqondo elikufutshane le-ay-kyu, abafana bayalibala malunga nezinto eziphambili ezifunekayo ukuba zenzele amantombazana. Akunjalo kuphela kubazalwana abathandekayo kunye neentombi, kodwa nabo bonke abafazi ngokubanzi. Ukuba umntu ongaqhelekanga unikela isandla, kubonakala ngathi uyasendle, nangona ngaphambili kwakubonakala kuqhelekileyo. Kodwa, le yiphutha labasetyhini ngokwabo. Emva koko, sasisoloko sithetha ngokulingana nobufazi, saqala ukufungela umlingane kwaye siziphatha njengomntu. Ngoko, ekudakaleni kwethu, kukho inxaxheba yesono sethu. Kwakhona abafazi bayadumala kubafana, kuba abayithandabuzeki. Kubonakala kubo ukuba kwihlabathi lanamhlanje yonke into iboshwe kwizinto eziphathekayo, kwaye akukho mqondo ekwenzeni into engalindelekanga, enhle kwaye enhle kwintombazana ethandekayo. Umfana nje akayiboni iphuzu lokucula phantsi kwefestile yefestile, ukubhala kwi-asphalt isimemezelo sothando, okanye ukuza kumangaliswa yintandokazi, eya kumangaliswa yintombazana kwaye iphinde iqinisekise iimvakalelo zalo mntu. Abaninzi bacinga ukuba abafazi "baxhamla ngamanqatha." Enyanisweni, oku akunjalo nakweyonke. Abafazi banzima ngokwenene ngaphandle kokuthandana. Uthando lwabo alukwazi ukuthengwa kuphela ngezinto eziphathekayo. Kubalulekile kwaye ngokomoya. Ngoko ke, xa singanikiwanga neentyantyambo, ngokuhamba kwexesha uqala ukucinezela nokutshabalalisa iimvakalelo. Kodwa, nangona kunjalo, ukuba umntu uyayikhathalela ngokwenene intombazana, nangona engakwazi ukuba yintando, unokufunda indlela yokuxolela ngayo. Sekunjalo, le minus ayiyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu.
Ukugqithisa ngakumbi abafazi badidekile kubafana abangakwazi ukuzimela, ngokuziphatha okanye ngokwenyama. Kutheni oku kwenzekayo kwaye abantu baba buthathaka? Mhlawumbi inyaniso kukuba abantu banamhlanje akudingeki bafumane naziphi iimvavanyo. Kutheni bethu oobawo kunye noomkhulu bahlala behlala becala kwaye bomelele ngokwengqondo? Ngenxa yokuba babechukunyiswa yimfazwe, inkonzo yempi, umsebenzi wenyama. Bamele bazinyame ngokwabo kunye neentsapho zabo ukususela kumncinane. Kwaye abaninzi banqwenela ukuba abantwana babo bakhule kwiimeko ezintle. Ngenxa yoko, kwavela ukuba oonyana bala bantu bengazi kakuhle ukuba bangazinyamekela njani. Bahlala kwiikhomputha kwaye bahlala ubomi obunjani, bengakhathazeki ngokukwenene. Abantu abancinci abasazi ukuba banikezela utshintsho kwigama okanye kwintonga. Banoyika ngokwenene ukuhamba kunye neendlwana zamnyama. Kodwa, ngakolunye uhlangothi, akuyinto elula. Abasetyhini banamhlanje, emva koko, njengabantwana abanesimo esihle, ihlabathi elikhethekileyo elingaphakathi. Bayithandayo xa abantu beqonda izicathulo kunye neengubo, bakhala baze bazive benengqiqo. Oku kukhokelela ekubeni kukho abameli abesilisa, okunzima ukubiza abafana. Bajonga kwaye baziphathe njengamantombazana. Kungenxa yoko, kufuneka ukwazi kakuhle uhlobo luni lomntu esiyifunayo. Omnye oya kuthenga ngokuthenga kunye nokujonga i-melodramas okanye umntu oya kukwazi ukuhlwaya abaphuli bethu kwaye akayi kuvumela nabani na ukuba benze into embi kumfazi wabo. Enyanisweni, amadoda anjalo ahlala, asiyi kubaphulaphula kakhulu, kuba bembethe kakhulu kunokuba banomdla wokuhlaselwa kwesini kunye nokuziphatha okude kunokuba bahlale bebuqili kwaye njengokuba intombazana enokuyithanda.
Ewe, ukusilela kwengqondo, le yenye ingxaki yamadoda anamhlanje. Kwaye akukho nto abanokuyiqonda. Wonke umfazi usoloko efuna ukubona kwintombi yakhe umntu owaziyo ukulwa nokufezekisa injongo. Nguyena umntu omele abe yintloko yentsapho, umcebisi oyintloko, onokuqiniseka ukuba intsapho yakhe iphile kakuhle. Kwanokulingana kunye nentando yesininzi, abafazi abafuni ukubona abathandekayo njengababuthathaka nabaninimzi. Kodwa isizukulwana samakhwenkwe sa namhlanje senza izinto ngale ndlela. Zineenkomfa ezininzi ezingavumeli ukuba ziphile ngokuqhelekileyo. Kodwa ingxaki kukuba abazami ukunqoba. Amadoda anjalo akhululekile ukuhlala kunye neengxaki zabo ezingqondweni. Bathi abakwazi ukufezekisa nantoni na ukubiza izizathu ezenziwe. Kule meko, ngokuphindaphindiweyo, abazami ukwenza into ethile baze bahambe kwindawo ethile. Kodwa ngovuyo bacinga ngokungabikho kokungabikho kokungabikho kokungabikho kokusesikweni kobomi, malunga nokuba balahlekile kwaye abafanelanga nantoni na. Oku kuziphatha kukubangela intlungu, kwaye abaninzi, ekuqaleni, bazame ukuxhasa nokubanceda. Kodwa, ngexesha lexesha bayaqonda ukuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba bazama ukukrazula umfana ngaphandle koxinzelelo, abanako ukwenza. Ngenxa yokuba akafuni. Kukulungele ukuba aphile njengalokhu, efihla emva kwamagosa abanye. Oku kukudanisa kakhulu intombazana.
Ukuze ungadakali ngokupheleleyo kwintsimi eqinile, kufuneka ufunde ukungaziqwalasela iimpazamo zabo ezincinci kwaye, ukhethe umfana, ngokunyaniseka nokuzijonga ngokufanelekileyo. Sonke siyazi ukusuka ekuqaleni ukuba ngubani na oko kukuthi. Kodwa sizama rhoqo ukulungisa abantu abatsha kwaye senza ngcono. Kwaye siya kudanisa. Ngoko ke, kufuneka uqale ukunyaniseka nawe, ukuze ungalilili amaphupha aphukileyo.