Indlela yokwakha ubudlelwane nomntu indala kakhulu kunabo?

Namhlanje, ubudlelwane nomntu budala kunokuba wena ngokwakho awusamangaliswa. Abantu abazungezile bahlala bezolile, baninzi bavuma ukusebenzisana okunjalo. Abasetyhini bakhetha amadoda asebekhulile kunabo ngokwabo kuba banqabile ukuma ezinyaweni zabo kunontanga okanye abatsha. Abantu abanjalo ebomini baye babona okuninzi, banqoba iingqinamba ezinzima, ukufezekisa iinjongo zabo. Kodwa ke la madoda anobuthakathaka obuthathaka: bathanda abafazi bancinci kunabo. Bayayithanda xa iqabane lakhe lihle kwaye liselula kakhulu. Amadoda anjalo kwiindawo zoshishino zethu nakwiNtshona angasifumana.

Masibone ukuba kutheni abaninzi abafazi bathanda ukwakha ubudlelwane nabantu abadala kunabo?

Abasetyhini bahlala bebanjelwa kula madoda angafani nawo. Ngokukodwa ngaminyaka. Abasetyhini abaninzi banokuhlulwa kwiindidi eziliqela. Uhlobo lo kuqala luquka abo bafazi abangalindelekanga ukuba babe yienkokheli. Bafuna ukusetyenziswa okuthembekileyo, induduzo kunye nokwethemba. Kulo hlobo lwesibini lwabasetyhini abanelisekile, abazange basuse isisombululo seengxaki zabo kumagxa omnye, kwanomntu wabo. Bahlale bexanduva lolwalamano oludidi lwesithathu lwabasetyhini ngabo bahlala bezama ukuba ngabaholi kwiintsebenziswano.

Kodwa ulwalamano nomntu lukhulile kunomfazi, xa kukho ulwahlulo oluqinileyo, ngamanye amaxesha uluntu aluvumeli ngokufanelekileyo. Abaninzi balaba besetyhini ndiyicinga ngongqongqo, ngubani kunye naye ngemali yakhe kunye nesimo sakhe. Ukuba umahluko phakathi kweminyaka awubalulekanga, yithi iminyaka engama-2-3, ayibonakali kakhulu, kodwa ukuba ukususela kwiminyaka emi-5 ukuya phezulu okanye ngaphezulu, ukungafani okwenzekayo kubonakala.

Kutheni abafazi bekhetha? Umfazi owawunqatshelwe ingqalelo kayise ebuntwaneni, okanye wayengenjalo, ngoko ufuna ukuxhaswa kwindoda yakhe, ufuna ukunyamekelwa, ukulinda nokuthandwa kokubili njengowesifazane kunye nentombi. Kwaye abo bafazi abazithembekileyo ngokwabo, nje ngabantu abanjalo banokulingana nabo.

Iimpawu ezinjalo kwezobudlelwane kukuba abo bantu banamava kuyo yonke into, kwizenzo nobudlelwane. Kwakhona banesityebi esithile, kwaye bayaqiniseka ngezinto zonke. Abayiki kwaye bayazi.

Iimigunyana kwiimeko ezinjalo kunye namava abo. Bangakwazi ukuba neentsapho kunye nabantwana emva kwamahlombe abo, ngamanye amaxesha banokuqhathanisa umfazi wabo oyinyani kunye nabangaphambili, khangela iimpazamo kuye. Kwakhona kukho iimfuno ezahlukeneyo phakathi kwendoda kunye nomfazi.

Ngolwalamano olunjalo, unokuhlala uthembela kumntu, uya kuncedisa umfazi ukuba aphuhlise, axhase kumzuzwana onzima kwaye anike uncedo oluyimfuneko, zombini kunye nezinto zokomoya.