Ngaba ndifuna ukwakha ubudlelwane nomntu ohlukanisile? Yintoni i-psychology yomntu oqhawule umtshato? Siza kukuxelela ngawo onke amanxweme angaphantsi kwamanzi okunxibelelana naye, kunye nemithetho yokuziphatha nomntu ohlukanisile.
Ngaba udinga ukwakha ubudlelwane nomntu ohlukanisile?
Ukuba lo mntu uyakuthandayo, balungele ukuthatha ithuba, kwaye ukholelwa ukuba emva kokuba umntu oqhawulekileyo ungcono kunomntu ongenalutho, sebenze. Siza kukuxelela kuphela ngeziphene kunye neenzuzo zobudlelwane obunjalo.
Okokuqala, umntu oqhawule umtshato ungumntu okhululekileyo. Ukongezelela, unelungelo elixabisekileyo lobuhlobo obunzulu. Kwaye ukuba uthe wagqiba ekubeni ulwalamano olutsha kuye, ngoko sithetha ukuba uyaziqonda zonke iimbopheleleko ezithathayo.
Ngokuqhelekileyo umntu oqhawule umtshato uyazichukumisa abafazi abadibana naye emva kokuqhawula umtshato, basebenzise oku kwaye baphumelele kunokuba ngumfazi wakhe wangaphambili. Amadoda ahlukaniswe emva kokuqhawula umtshato, asebenzise oku.
Umtshato otshatyalaliswayo kunye nokusilela kwakhe
Iingcali zengqondo zithetha ukuba unxibelelwano nomntu obesele utshatile kubonakala ngathi uhambahamba kummandla wezemigodi, nayiphina impazamo iya kubangela ukuhluleka. Emva komzamo wokuqala ongaphumeleli, akuyi kuba lula ukuba anqume kwisigqibo sesibini, ngoko kunzima ukubala kwisibonelelo esheshayo sesandla nentliziyo. Vuka ngolwazi kwaye ube nomonde, ngubani oza kukunceda ekunxibelelana nalo mntu.
Yilungele ukuba uya kuhlala ufaniswa nomfazi wakho wangaphambili kunye namazwi anjengale: "Lena akazange avumele ukuba ndiphuze ubhiya kunye nabahlobo", "kwaye uNine wayololoko ehlamba iisokisi zam kunye neengqayi", "Nama-pancakes aseNatasha ayiphilile" ngakumbi.
Musa ukucinga ukuba "unqunyulwe", ngoko kuya kuba ngonaphakade. Kukho amaxesha amaninzi xa amadoda ebuyela kwiintsapho zawo aze ashiye inkosikazi yakhe ngenxa yomfazi wakhe.
Indlela yokuziphatha nomntu ohlukanisile?
Ungesabi, umntu oqhawule umtshato, kufuneka nje ufunde indlela yokuziphatha naye.
Musa ukuma kwindawo yakho oyithandayo
Musa ukubuza indoda malunga nezizathu zokuqhawula umtshato, ngokukodwa ukuba kwenzeke kungekudala. Zonke ezi ngxoxo kule ndaba zibuhlungu kakhulu kuye. Ukuba uphakamisa le ngongoma, usengozini yokusebenza "kwisifo sohudo", njengokuthi "ndamthanda, kodwa engandiqondi, waya kwindoda ethile, kuba ndandingafuni ukuba nabantwana, kuba ndasebenza nzima." Ukuba le ndoda yayingumqali wencoko, kulo mzekelo ibalulekile ukukhokela ibali ngokufanelekileyo.
Unganiki naluphi na icebiso, ungagcini hlangothi, uphulaphule ngokucophelela kuyo. Kukho nawuphi na, qaphela, yenza izigqibo ezifanelekileyo. Ukuba uthetha ngokuphindaphindiweyo ngomtshato, ngoko ngengqondo akazange aphile ngokuqhawula umtshato kwaye akalungele ulwalamano olutsha.
Qinisekisa ukuba yintoni indima yakho
Unokuba novelwano naye, kodwa kufuneka ukwazi umlinganiselo. Ukuba uphulaphule iingxaki zakhe kwiiyure zomtshato ongaphambili, usengozini yokuba yintsimbi enobungane kungekudala. Akuyimfuneko ukumvumela ukuba azibhengeze ngeendleko zakho, ebonisa kwabanye, kuquka nomfazi wakhe wangaphambili, kunye naye ngokwakhe, ukuba uyamkeleka yonke indlela eya kwintombi.
Awudingi ukuhlamba isitya seitya ezingcolileyo, endaweni yokuba usebenze kwisitoreji ekuthengiseni ukutya, ukhenkce i-cutlets ekhethiweyo eyenziwe ngokwakho, kwaye nangona kukho isilingo esininzi, unakekele isinyulu somama wakho. Qiniseka ukuba uthatha indawo eqinileyo entliziyweni nasemphefumlweni, uze uthathe indawo yakhe efanelekileyo kwisitofu.
Hlanganisa ulwazi oluchanekileyo malunga nalo
Ukuba uyazi izizathu ezenza aphule kunye nomfazi wakhe wangaphambili, ngoko unako ukubala ngokuchanekileyo, kunye nalo mntu, ubunzulu bobudlelwane. Fumana ngokukhawuleza, kwimithombo enokwethenjelwa, kulo mzekelo, indoda apha ayifanelekanga, unokunciphisa izono, kwaye akayiyo injongo. Zama ukuzisa ingxoxo engathethekiyo into ebalulekileyo yomhlobo wakhe omhle, udade, unina, abahlobo, ummelwane. Izigwebo kunye neenguqulelo ozivelayo, zibhetele.
Nantsi into ephambili ukuqonda yonke into ebalulekileyo yengxaki. Ukuba wayengumtyholi kwintsapho, umbethe umfazi wakhe, wathabathe iziyobisi, wayelisela, wamngcaza umfazi wakhe, okanye wamkhohlisa umfazi wakhe, ngoko ulungele ukuba icebo liza kuphinda. Akukho ziqinisekiso zokuthi kunye nawe kuya kutshintsha.
Ukususela kumtshato wokuqala unabantwana
Ukuba umntu okhethiweyo uhlukanisile nomfazi kwaye akaqhagamshelana nabantwana bakhe, kufuneka ucinga ngako. Le syndrome, ithetha ngokuzingca nokunyaniseka. Ukuba, emva kokuqhawula umtshato, abantwana badlala indima ebalulekileyo ebomini bakhe, uthatha inxaxheba ebomini ebomini babo, ubona nabantwana iholide kunye neveki. Zizikhethele wena ungaba thandana nabo, okanye iingxaki ezinzulu ziya kulinda.
Khawucinge kwaye uzigqibelele indlela yokwakha ubudlelwane nomntu ohlukanisile. Mhlawumbi ufanele ukhangele kwelinye icala, Ndifuna ukukucebisa, vumela ebomini bakho kuza kuba namadoda amahle kuphela kunye nabafundi bodwa.