"Inzondelelo - ithetha uthando" - oko kuthetha ubulumko babantu. Ewe, kukho inyaniso kule nto. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba umyeni ulawula zonke izinyathelo ozithathayo? Ziza kuba zizinto ezimbi. Yintoni ekhweleyo, kutheni le mvakalelo isithintela ekubeni siphile kunye nendlela yokujamelana neengxaki ezinjalo? Ingqondo yeentlalontle zentsapho: umona - isihloko sesingxoxo sentsholongwane yanamhlanje ...
"Ndiyicinga ukulahlekelwa nguye," "Ndicinga ukuba akayithandi," "Ukuba uyayeka ukundithanda, ubomi bam buya kugqiba," "Andifuni ukushiywa ndedwa," "Unobungqina, kwaye baninzi abaninzi abasetyhini ..." - yile ndlela abafazi basoloko bachaza ngayo iimvakalelo zabo. Amadoda amaninzi ayedla ngokuthetha ngoloyiko kwaye amaninzi athetha ngamalungelo abo ("Ungumfazi wam, ngoko ke kufuneka ndithathe uluvo lwam"). Kodwa izazi zengqondo zithi: ziqhinga kunye nabo, kunye nabanye ... Izizathu ezibalulekileyo zesikhwele zilele kwisicatshulwa sethu.
Kutheni si nomona?
Akukho mpendulo ecacileyo kulo mbuzo. Omnye akaqinisekanga ngokwabo kwaye uyaziqhathanisa kunye nabanye abantu ("Uhle kakhulu, ngoku uya kumthandana naye andishiye"). Omnye uloyiko lonwabo kunye nokungaqiniseki koluntu ("Ngaphandle komyeni, andiyi kuhlala"). Omnye unikela intando yeemvakalelo okanye iimvakalelo ("Kuthekani ukuba unayo inoveli ngapha nangapha?"). Kwaye umntu uphinda wabuyela umzekelo wokuziphatha kwabazali bawo ... kunokukho izizathu ezininzi. Into eyona nto iyahluke: ngokukrakra, umona ngumntu oqhelekileyo uziva, okwangoku kufuneka ulawulwe. Into ebalulekileyo kukuba uqaphele ukuba unabakhululekileyo, abantu abanelisekile abanquma ukuba kunye. Kutheni ufanele utshintshe ingqondo yakho uze uphosane ngokungaqiniseki?
Ukuba unomona
U -Karina oneminyaka engu-31 uthi: - Noko ke, ngokukhawuleza wathi iiveki ezimbini ngaphambi kokuba intlanganiso kunye nam isithandwa sakhe siphule. Ekuqaleni andizange ndibambelele kakhulu kweli bali. Ngaphezu koko, kwisithuba sonyaka ngamnye kwindlela yamnceda ukuba asinde. Sasihlala sithetha ngobudlelwane bakhe bokuqala, sathetha ngeyintombi yakhe yangaphambili ... Ekugqibeleni, ndaqonda ukuba asibini, kodwa ezintathu ... Kwaye yatshatyalaliswa ngokucacileyo: Ndaqokelela umgca wonke kule ntombazana engenacala, umlinde, funda idayari yakhe kwi-intanethi. Ndandinomona omkhulu. Njalo xa ebiza umngane we- SMS , ndacinga ukuba wayebhalwe kunye naye. Kwafuneka ndizenzele kunye ndilahle lonke ibali ekhanda lam. Siye kunye iminyaka emithathu, kwaye ngoku akukho sizathu sokuba nomona . "
UKarina akazange enze ngokufanelekileyo! Bambalwa kakhulu abantu abakwazi ukuzimela ngokuzimeleyo ingxaki baze bayisombulule. Ngokuqhelekileyo le ngxaki ebalulekileyo yobudlelwane bosapho. Abafazi bavame ukunyanisekisa, kwaye ngoko akukho mzekelo kufuneka uvumele imfesane ukuba ikuqhube ekhoneni.
INDLELA YOKUBHUBA?
1. Musa ukubuza malunga nexesha elidlulileyo. Unokuxoxa kangakanani na intombi yakho? Ewe, wayemthanda. Kufuneka ukwamkele kwaye uqaphele oku. Kodwa ngoku uhleli nawe. Phila namhlanje.
2. Ukulahla ukuhlola. Wonke umntu unelungelo lokuzimela. Ngoko keyeka ukufundela i-imeyile yomyeni wakhe kwaye ukhangele i-SMS yakhe. Ekugqibeleni, nokuba lakho iqabane lihle kakhulu nonobhala u-Lenochka, akuthethi ukuba ulala naye. Ukukhokelwa ngumgaqo: ubuncinane uyazi-ukulala okungcono.
3. Zithande. Ngendlela, isizathu esona sikhulu somona sizithoba. Ngaphambi kokuba uphonsele othandekayo kuyo yonke into ebalulekileyo, cinga ngawe. Kutheni kufuneka atshintshe? Thatha icwecwe lephepha uze ubhale 20 (kungaphantsi) kwe "pluses" zakho. Funda ngokuvakalayo ubuncinane amaxesha angama-10 kwaye uqinisekise ukuba akukho nto ingcono kwihlabathi.
4. Zikhathalele. Esikhundleni sokuzityhafisa ngokuqagela, khululwa ingxaki uze utshintshe kwenye into. Umzekelo, ukunyamekela ukubonakala kwakho. Kude kube nini uhlala kwisiko loqeqesho? Kwaye kwindwendwe kunye ne-cosmetologist? Yenza oku kwaye wenze. Ngokuqinisekileyo umyeni wakho uya kuqaphela imizamo yakho.
5. Vuma indoda yakho kuyo yonke into. Ukuba unobungane obusondeleyo kunye neqabane lakho, cela ukuba akuncede. Mhlawumbi uxoxe ngxaki, uya kuza kwinto yokuba awukhathazeki ngombono wakhe ongenakwenzeka, kodwa ukuba awuhlali uhlala kunye. Oku kufuna kwakhona ukutshintshwa.
Ukuba unomona
Izibalo ezingenakulinganiswa yilo: amadoda anomona kunabesifazane, nangona baguqulela kathathu ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Katya, oneminyaka engama-27 ubudala , uthi: "Emva kweminyaka emihlanu yokuhlala kunye no-Igor, ndafaka isicelo somtshato . " Ndiyamthanda kakhulu ngoku, kodwa, ngelishwa, andinakuze ndibe nomsindo wokukhweleka kwakhe." Ngexa ndihleli phantsi komyalelo, yonke into yayilungile, kodwa xa ndaya emsebenzini, indlela yokuziphatha kukaGigor yatshintsha ngayo. Xa ndahlala eofisini imizuzu eyi-10 kuphela, waqala ukungamangalela. Waqala ukulawula zonke iinyawo ezandithathayo: wafika ukuba asebenzele mna, wandivumela ukuba ndigqoke iimpahla ezivunyiweyo kuphela, ndamnqanda ukuba atende. Andikwazi ukunyamezela! "
Icala likaCatherine liqhelekile. Inokwenzeka ukuba, akunjalo ukuba indoda yakhe ayithembi. Uloyiko lokulahlekelwa amandla phezu kwalo, kunye nesimo sakhe njengentsapho yokutya. Ngokuqhelekileyo umona ufihliwe emva kobukhwele. Impumelelo yomsebenzi womfazi wakhe, ukukwazi kwakhe ukufumana ulwimi olufanayo kunye noogxa lakhe, ukuthandwa kwakhe kwiqela - konke oku kunokubangela ukuziphatha okunjalo komyeni wakhe.
INDLELA YOKUBHUBA?
1. Musa ukunika isizathu. Kunobungozi ukwenza ukuba umona uqaphele. Umyeni wakho uza kwenza ntoni? Ngaba iya kubamba iqela okanye igijime ukuze ibhale isitatimende somtshato? Musa ukuvavanya abathandekayo bakho "amandla." Enyanisweni, ngokuqhelekileyo le "ngongoma" ekhokelela kwimiphumo engenakucinganiswa.
2. Musa ukuzithethelela. Xa ukhathazeka ngakumbi kwaye udibanisa into ekuzikhuseleni, unamandla ngakumbi ukuzithemba kwezono zakho. Ukhuselo olungcono kakhulu kukuhlaselwa. Kwaye ke, mchasani naye ngamangqina akhe: "Unokucinga njani into enjalo! Ngaba uyayithandabuza imvakalelo yam? "Enyanisweni, akufuneki ukusetyenziswa kakubi kwezi binzana. Umva wecala akuyona eyona nto isisiseko somtshato oqinileyo.
3. Melana. Ungavumeli ukuba umona uphakamise isandla sakho, ukukhala okanye ukuhlambalaza. Musa ukukhala okanye ukuthula. Nika njalo izimpendulo ezicacileyo nezizithembayo. kufuneka uvumele iqabane lakho liqonde ukuba ungumntu. Ungangivumeli ukuba ndizisule iinyawo zam.
4. Khumbula i-alibi. Ngokuqinisekileyo, awuyiyona heroine yomculi ongezantsi, kodwa kuthekani ukuba intanda yakho inomona kwaye uyasolisa, njengoOthello ngokwakhe. Ukuba uxabisa ubudlelwane bakho, thobela ingqalelo iqabane lakho: zama ukungahlali ixesha lokuhlwa, shayela, ushiye amanqaku. Kungcono ukuxwayisa kwangaphambili kunokuba uzilungele kamva.
5. Hamba ulungelelaniso. Ukuba iqabane liyakwazi ukukhwele kwakhe kwaye lilungele ukulwa nalo, xubusha into ebaluleke kakhulu kuye. Nika omnye nomnye izithembiso ezithembisayo: akayi kukuthukumeza ngemibuzo, kwaye uya kuguba i-mini skirt yakho engadini.
6. Dibana nodokotela. Ngokwendlela, izazi zeengqondo zikholelwa ukuba uhlobo lwesifo sengqondo lufana neempawu zalo kwi-psychosis. Kule meko, uncedo logqirha luyimfuneko! Kwizengqondo zeentlalontle zentsapho, umona unesizathu esiqhelekileyo sokuphuhliswa kwengqondo yengqondo.
7. Dumisani umyeni wakho. Ukuba imbangela yesikhwele ixabiso eliphansi lomyeni wakho, ukukhusela okulungileyo kukuncoma. Ngaba akafanelekanga kubo? Dumisani umsebenzi wakhe, umvuzo wakhe, ukubonakala kwakhe kunye neempawu zangaphakathi. Kule meko, akayi kuba nesizathu sokuba angaba nomona kuwe, okanye akukhwele.
Ukususela ekugqithiseni ukuya kunzulu
I-7% yabantu bonke abasemhlabeni baxhatshazwa ngumona. Baqinisekile ukuba amaqabane abo ayitshintshile, kwaye yingakho bona ngokwabo bafezekisa iinyani baze bangaqondi kakuhle nayiphi na imibono kunye nemigca. Injongo yobomi babo kukubonakalisa ukungathembeki komntu othandekayo kunye nokuziphindezela kuye.
I-50% yabemi beplanethi yethu (ngokuyininzi amadoda) ngabantu abathintekayo ngokomoya. Bazama ukunqanda kwabo phantse zonke iimvakalelo (kubandakanya umona). Nangona kunjalo, abanakubizwa ngokuba banolwazi. Ukugatya iimvakalelo ezimbi, bayeke ukuva nokuva. Uninzi lwazo alukwazi ukuthandana kwaye lunentsapho.
Iindaba eziyikrakra
* Ama-35% amadoda kunye ne-28% yabasetyhini abanekhwele.
Abantu abanobukhwele baphila iminyaka engama-10 engaphantsi ngenxa yokuxhalaba, bayaxhalabisa izifo zentliziyo kunye neengxaki zentlungu kaninzi. Abantu abathathu kwabanobukhwele banexhala.
* Inzondelelo yindawo yesibini phakathi kwezizathu zokutshatyalaliswa komtshato (kwiingxabano zokuqala ngemali).
* Abantu abanamafutha badla ngokuba ngamaxhoba abo. Ukukhathazeka okude kubonakaliswe kumsebenzi weTanki yokucinga olawula ukutya.
* Phantse i-20% yazo zonke zokubulala zasekhaya zenziwa ngenxa yeshwele.