Uya kuza nexesha
Ngaba abantu banomnxeba wendalo, umnqweno kunye nesidingo sokuqhubeka nohlobo lwabo, ukuba banakekele abantwana babo? Iingcamango zengcali kule ngxaki zahlula. Abanye bakholelwa ukuba ubulili obuqinileyo buyinto ehambelana nayo, kunoko, isistim socansi eshukumisela ekuveleni, kwaye ukufakela "Indoda kufuneka yakha indlu, ityala umthi kwaye ivelise unyana" sele isele inkqubo yentlalo. Abanye baqinisekile ukuba kukho! Le ngqungquthela iqinisekiswa yimimiselo emininzi yooyise-abaphathi bezilwanyana (ngokuqinisekileyo abazange bafundiswe kunoma ubani ngaphandle kwezilwanyana ngokwalo!). Kanti abanye bathi: isisiseko sokunyamekela isithuba sithandwa ngokulinganayo ngabo bonke kungakhathaliseki ukuba besini, kodwa kubasetyhini kubonakala ngakumbi. Emva kwakho konke, amantombazana ekuqaleni ahlala ekhompini kunye nabantwana (ngenxa yokulindela uluntu kunye nokukhuliswa), ngaphezu koko, umama ozayo uneenyanga ezilisithoba ukuze asebenzise inxaxheba entsha. Ngaloo ndlela, ukuba ibhinqa linomvelaphi "womzali" kunokuba i-biological, ke umntu unomdla woluntu kwaye uza nexesha, njengaluphi na uhlobo lwenyaniso kunye neengcamango ngobunzima bukayise.
Ukubuyiselwa kobubele
Ukuba inzululwazi ibonisa ukuba ukhokho kayise ukho, ngoko kutheni le binzana lisoloko lisetyenziselwa imeko engummangaliso? Ngokukodwa i-anthropologists (uMargaret Mead): "Oomata bayimfuneko yezinto eziphilayo kunye neengozi zentlalo." Kutheni, ngokungafani nenzululwazi yomama ozukileyo, nguyise onokungabaza? Kukho izizathu ezininzi.
Iingcamango zendabuko malunga neendima zamadoda nabesifazane, ezithunyelwa kumntwana kwinkqubo yemfundo. "Abantombazana kuphela badlala iidonki!", "Uhlobo luni luthando?" - ukuba inkwenkwana ivala amagama anjalo rhoqo, akunakwenzeka ukuba kwixesha elizayo uya kucinga "ukukrokraza" nomntwana ekunyamekelweni komntu.
Ukulindela uluntu - kude kube yintsholongwane kwakukho isimo sengqondo esichasayo kubantu abahlala emakhaya nakumabantwana (babenemifanekiso yokuhlambalaza: ibhinqa, umgqomo, kungekhona indoda). Umzekelo "we-papa obala" wawungavumelekanga kuluntu, kwaye ngoko ke ukukholelwa kukayise kwakudla ngokungazinzi. / I-Dogma malunga nomsebenzi ongundoqo ongabalulekanga kumntwana ekuphuhlisweni komntwana, oye wasungulwa kwinkqubo yemfundo. Kwiindawo zentlalo (apho indima ephambili yowayiba ngumgcini wesondlo kunye nesondlo), oku kwenzeka. Nangona kunjalo, musa ukulibala ukuba kude kube sekuqaleni kweXIX yeXestile, amadoda amaninzi ayesebenza ekhaya (okanye kufuphi) kwaye athatha inxaxheba ebalulekileyo ebomini bentsapho kunye nabantwana - kwakukho kubo ukuba imfundo (kunokuba idlale, njengamhlanje) isebenze. Ngokuqhelekileyo, iminyaka eyi-milleni, i-patriarchal culture yachaza ubaba njengomzali onamandla kakhulu onoxanduva lokuba luhlobo luni lwabantwana bakhe abakhulayo. Ngoko ke, zonke iincwadi zokuziphatha "zemfundo" zendlela yokukhanyisa isizukulwana esincinane eRashiya zabhekiswa kuboyise!
Nyaniso!
Iingcali zenzululwazi zifumene kwigazi lamadoda i-hormone ejongene nokubunjwa kwenyaniso kunye neengcamango malunga nobunzima booyise. I-oxytocin (kumzimba wesetyhini ulawula inkqubo yezabasebenzi kunye nenkqubo yokuhlamba). Ukuba inani layo lifikelela kwindawo ethile - loo mntu ulungele ukuzala. Nangona kunjalo, ingxaki kukuba le mzuzwana, njengomthetho, ufika malunga neminyaka engama-35 ukuya kwe-40.
Ngoku lixesha lokubuyela kwimemori yembali kunye nokuvusa ooyise umlenze womzali onzima. Ngaphezu koko, i-swallows yokuqala sele ikhona: ootata banamhlanje bathatha inxaxheba ekukhuliseni abantwana. Namhlanje, upapa okhoyo ekuzalweni okanye ehleli nomntwana kwisigqibo uyinyani.
Imfundo yeengqondo
Ukuvusa ikhwelo lendalo kwintanda yakho ayizange ifike. Mhlawumbi, kwinqanaba lokuqala, kuyafaneleka ukujonga ngakumbi. Umyeni naye akayikuthintela "ukuzala ngokukhawuleza kumntwana", kodwa ukushisa kukukhathalela abantwana babanye kunye nezidalwa ezincinci eziphilayo ezifana ne-puppy-puppies? Kwaye kwindibano, ihlanganiswe nabantwana, ndivuyiswe ukwenza iinqwenya ezivela kwiiplastiki okanye izikebhe zamaphepha? Ngokuqinisekileyo yethu indoda!
Isinyathelo esibalulekileyo esilandelayo ukukhulelwa. Nobawo balinde! Nangona ungabonakali ingqondo yakho. Ukuba ibhinqa ngeli nqanaba lakha ngokufanelekileyo ubudlelwane (izabelo ezibuza imibuzo, ixhala kunye novuyo, luchaza ngeemvakalelo zakhe), le ndoda iya kulungelelanisa inxaxheba yakhe entsha. Kuyikeka ... kodwa ndiyazibuza ukuba njani! Funda iincwadi ezikhethekileyo, phulaphula ukubethelela intliziyo yomntwana, uvale ukuhamba kwakhe okokuqala ... Kungekudala upapa uyavuthwa - kunzima ukuthetha. Abanye abantu bazive nje njengobawo ukusuka ngexesha lokukhulelwa, abanye baguqulwa, ngokokuqala ngethuba bethatha umntwana ezandleni zabo, umntu uya kufuna iintsuku eziliqela kule nto.
Ukuvuswa kwangaphambili kobutyebi bukayise, kuyimfuneko, ngokutsho kweengcali zeengqondo ze-American, ukugcina imithetho emininzi.
Isiqalo sokuqala: ngaphambili uyise uya kubandakanyeka ekunyamekeleni umntwana, ngcono. Ukuthembela ngempumelelo: Ngaba umama uyazi yonke into? Kodwa akayena yedwa ingcali onoxanduva kuyo yonke imiba yobomi bentsana. Kubazali into ethile ivela ngcono - ukuhlamba, ukuhamba, i-gymnastics enamandla kunye njalo njalo.
Ukuvuleka kwindlela abavakalelwa ngayo: ukwesaba, ukungathandabuzeki, ukudumala-oku kwenzeka kumntu wonke. Kubalulekile ukuxubusha yonke into kunye, kodwa ukuba ungagcinanga ngaphakathi. Ukufunda umntwana: amava avela kwinkqubo yokunxibelelana.
Kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba upapa - ukuba ube khona kwaye ... wenze! Nantsi!
Ngokweziphumo zeengxelo ezininzi kwiinyaniso kunye neengcamango malunga nobunzima bobawo, abantwana, abangafuni ukuthatha ingqalelo kubaba, banomdla kwaye bavumelanisa ngokukhawuleza kuluntu. Bavame ukumomotheka, bahlanganyele ngokuzenzekelayo amathoyizi kunye nokusetyenziswa ngokuthe tye. Ngokucacileyo, oonyana abanononophelo nabantwana ababandakanyekayo kwinkqubo yemfundo, bekhulayo, ngokwabo bayafana. Kwaye ukuba uyise wayibanda? Akunandaba: ngokuqhelekileyo oku kukhuthaza inkqubo yenkwenkwe yenkwenkwezi, kwaye ngekamva ufuna ukuba nguyise ongenalo, kunye neliphuphayo.
Abazali abaxelisayo
Abantwana abanonophelo kwiimeko eziphilayo - into eqhelekileyo. Ama-Fathers-penguins ngokuzimeleyo anqumla ama-chicks (ezimbini kwiinyanga!) Kwaye nondla i-kids (ijusi ekhethekileyo eveliswa esiswini nase-esophagus). U-Papa-olwandle udla amaqanda emlonyeni, ngelixa ezimbini iiveki engadli nokuvala umlomo (! Kukho noobawo obalaseleyo bona ngokwabo ... banabantwana! Ngokomzekelo, i-seahorse yamadoda ibherelela i-caviar kwisikhwama esikhethekileyo, apho iimbumba zikhula ngenxa yezondlo kwigazi likayihlo, kwaye ke, zivuthiwe, zityumle ingxowa ngaphakathi.
Ngendlela , eklasini "ephakamileyo" yezilwanyana ezincelisayo, oomncinci, ubuncinane (ukuthelekisa: phakathi kweentaba ezinjalo - 90%). Ubuninzi ukuba i-monkey-dad iyakwenza ukudlala nabantwana okanye ukufumana ukutya. Kwaye abanye oobawo bayingozi, umzekelo: ngokuba ingonyama-ubaba (njengobhere, i-tiger, ihayenas), ukubulala ibhobho ekufeni kwindlela yokudlala (okanye ngenxa yobukhwele) yinto eqhelekileyo.