Izigaba zamava emva komtshato

Emva kokuqhawula umtshato, ngokuqhelekileyo kuthatha ixesha elide ukuba liphile, liyamkele kwaye liqonde konke okwenzekileyo, ukuyiqonda kunye nenxaxheba yalo kulo. Ekuqaleni kubuhlungu ukuba uqonde ukuba yonke into oyithandayo njengendlela yokuthanda, ngenhlanhla, ezo ntsebenziswano apho wena nomyeni wakho niyakwazi ukunikezana kunye nehlabathi elona lihle kunalo lonke liye libe libi, lingenakufanelekela kokubili kunye negama ngokwalo - intsapho. Ukuba ubomi bosapho buhlala ixesha elide, bekunomdla, ngokwengqondo, kubaluleke ngokomoya kumntu, ngoko i-gap engalindelekanga yisoloko ixinzeleleke kuye njengentlungu. La mava anamaqela amaninzi. Ukuba umtshato wakho wawunomntu onje, ngokukhethekileyo obuhlungu, ngoko kuxhomekeke kwisigaba apho ukhona ngoku, iziphakamiso zeengcali zeengqondo ezichaphazelekayo kwimeko yakho ziya kukunceda.

Ixesha lohlahlo lwezigaba luneemeko, ekubeni umtshato kunye nobudlelwane obuphambi kwayo budideka, buzele ithemba kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba, baphumelelane. Ngoko ke, ezinye izigaba zingazibaziseka.

Isigaba sokuqala sisothusa
Kungenzeka ukuba sele ufumene esi sigaba. Ngokuqhelekileyo ihlala emininzi imizuzu ukuya kwiinyanga ezimbalwa, kodwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo - malunga neentsuku ezili-10-12. Ngeli xesha akulula ukuqonda kwaye ukholelwa kwinto eyenzekayo. Inxulumene nenyaniso oye wafunda malunga nokunyaniseka, ukuba indoda yakho yanquma ukuqhawula umtshato. Okanye mhlawumbi yaqala xa wanika imvume yakho yokuqhawula umtshato, kodwa wayengaqondi ukuba kwenzeke njani. Ngeli xesha, ubukho obusondeleyo kumntu osuka kubahlobo kunye nabantu abasondeleyo banokunceda. Ukuba uyaphumelela ekutsheleni umntu malunga nento eyenzekayo okanye yodwa, ukubonisa iimvakalelo zakho, mhlawumbi ukulila - unokuvakalelwa kukuba uzive ungcono kwaye esinye isigaba siqalile.

Isigaba sokubandezeleka
Ngokomyinge, ihlala kwiiveki eziyi-8-9. Eli lixesha leemvakalelo zengqondo kunye namava. Ivakalelo lokubhubhisa nokungabi nasicalulo sobomi, intukuthelo, ukulondeka, ukutshabalalisa, ukwesaba, ukuvuya kunye nokungenakunceda kubonakala ngokugqithiseleyo. Umfazi oshiywe yedwa emva kokuqhawula umtshato, aphule kunye nentanda yakhe, ngokuqhelekileyo ufumana iimvakalelo ezininzi eziphikisanayo.

Ukuba ngoku ujongene nale nkalo ebalulekileyo yobomi bakho, mhlawumbi uyazi iintlobo ezininzi zeemvakalelo ezibonakala zixakeke kwelinye linye. Mhlawumbi le ngqiqo yento yonke eyenzekayo, ngenxa yokuba ungayigcinanga indoda yakho, ayizange igcine intsapho yakho, mhlawumbi ukhumbule ukuhlambalaza okubangele ngomsindo. Oku kunye nentlungu eseleyo, inentlungu, ukuphazamiseka.

Mhlawumbi, ngoku uqonda ngengqondo ukuba kuyimfuneko ukubona konke okwenzekayo ekukhanyeni okwakheni ngakumbi, kodwa ngoku uvakalelwa kakhulu kuninzi kwaye kukuthintela ukuba uziqonde. Kodwa iimvakalelo zakho ziqhelekile kule imeko engavumelekanga. Zama ukuqaphela, ukubona kwicala lamava akho. Ngeli xesha, unokunceda kakhulu abahlobo, intsapho, abakulungele ukuphulaphula. Zama ukuthetha, musa ukuzibamba iimvakalelo zakho, kungenjalo zihlala entliziyweni yakho ixesha elide kwaye zikhuphe, zikhusele ukuba wakhe ubuhlobo nomntu omthandayo kwixesha elizayo.

Ingqiqo eqinileyo yecala eliye labonwa ngeli xesha livakalelwa kakhulu. La mava anokuba yingozi xa athethwa ngaphandle kwemilinganiselo. Iingcali zengqondo zisebenza nabantu abaqhawula umtshato ziye zafumanisa ukuba ukuhlushwa ngokomoya kuphelisa xa umntu eyeka ukuzitshitshisa ngenxa yokungaphumeleli kwaye uyaqonda ukuba kubalulekile ukuba abantu ababini bachithe intsapho. Wena kunye nomyeni wakho wangaphambili unenjongo enhle kakhulu, wonke umntu waphupha kwaye ulindele ulonwabo bobabini. Kodwa ekuqaleni ukhetha izikhokelo ezahlukeneyo, ezingazange zikhankanywe. Ukuba uyayiqonda le nto, uze ulahleke iimvakalelo zentlonko nomsindo, uzilahle phantsi entliziyweni ziyimfuneko nje, ngaphandle koko ubomi buya kubonakala bubuhlungu. Ukumba kwizikhalazo ezidlulileyo kunye nokuxabana kungabangela ukuhlushwa okungapheliyo kuwe nakumntu wonke.

Musa ukugxila kuphela kuwe namava akho. Khumbula ukuba emva kwakho kukho abantu abangenabo lula. Oku kunye nabantwana bakho, abajongene nantoni na okwenzekayo. Musa ukukhutshwa kwaye ukhumbule ukuba abantwana badinga uyise owamthandayo. Ngoko ke, baqinisekise ukuba baya kukwazi ukubona uyise ngokuqhelekileyo. Kunzima ngoku kubazali bakho nabazali bomyeni wakho wangaphambili.

Ngelo xesha, kubalulekile ukuqala ukwenza izicwangciso zobomi besikhathi esizayo, ukufuna inkxaso kuwe.

Isigaba sezinto eziye zahlala
Kuphela malunga nomnyaka emva kokuqhawula umtshato. Kule nqanaba, amava okuba sele akhathalelekanga, ngamanye amaxesha ayabonakala ngohlobo lwentsimbi. Isizathu sabo sidibana nomyeni wakhe, ezinye iziganeko ("usuku lokuzalwa ngaphandle kwakhe," "ihlobo lokuqala ngaphandle kwakhe").

Ubunzima bokufumana emva kokuqhawula umtshato kwakhona kukuba kukho izikhumbuzo ezininzi malunga nomyeni - abahlobo abaqhelekileyo, izalamane, ithuba lokuthetha kwifowuni nanini na, ukudibana. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ezi zikhumbuzo ezinzima zokulahleka, kwaye kwelinye - ithuba lokufumana ngokuthe ngcembe ulwalamano olutsha. Xa umntu efa, emva kwexeshana, abathandekayo banemikhankaso yeempawu zakhe ezilungileyo, kunceda baphile ngokufa kwakhe ngemvakalelo enentliziyo. Ukwahlukanisa, nangona kunjalo, kuyinkimbinkimbi yinto yokuba ingcamango, ukugxila kwiimpawu ezilungileyo zomyeni akunakwenzeka rhoqo kwaye kungekudala.

Ngelishwa, ibhinqa kule ndawo isoloko igcwele iimvakalelo ezinokuphazamisa, kubini nakwabanye. Ukuba kukho umbambano, oko kubangela umona nokuvutha - ubuncinane, kukho umntu omele uxanduva: ekhohliweyo, ephosakeleyo, ekhohlisiwe, ekhunjulwe, ehoxile ... Okubuhlungu kakhulu xa indoda ishiya nje. Hhayi kumbambano, kodwa "akukho ndawo." Oku kuthetha ukuba akafuni ukuhlala nawe nonke, njengoko besithi. Nguye kuphela ongcono. Izahlulo ezinjalo ziwonakalisa kakhulu umfazi, ingakumbi ukuba uyazama ukuqonda rhoqo, kutheni ngokukhawuleza washiya isizathu esinjalo? Kunokuba ungathandeki? Yintoni engagqibayo? Okanye wanikela ngokugqithiseleyo, "waxhonywa kwiingalo," engamvumeli ukuba aphefumule? Kwimfazi, loo mtshato ingaba yinto ebaluleke kakhulu ekungcoleni ukuzithemba kwakhe. Isakhiwo esiyinkimbinkimbi singadalwa, ingcamango yokwenqatshwa komntu, ukungenakwenzeka kokonwaba. Oku kufuneka kugwenywe. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kulufanelekile ukuhlalutya ngokucokisekileyo ukuba yiziphi iinkqubo ezenzeka ngokufihlakeleyo kwintsapho, indlela ulwalamano olutshintsho ngayo, kwaye kutheni, umntu onamava amaninzi, akakuboni oku? Okanye akafuni ukuphawula? Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kubalulekile ukuzisindisa ekudakaleni, ukungakhuselekanga, ukukhathazeka, zama ukujonga kwinto eyenzekayo uvavanyo kunye namava, ithuba lokuphinda ucinge kwakhona ngaphambili kwaye uqale ubomi obutsha. Ngubani owaziyo, mhlawumbi akayi kuba nzima, kodwa ulunge ngakumbi kunaphambili.

Isigaba sokugqiba
Kuza malunga nonyaka kamva. Impawu yeli xesha kukuba, ukukhumbula malunga nokuphuka, umfazi akasaboni ntlungu, kwaye ukudakumba kukuvakalelwa kakhulu.

Kancinci, ixesha liphilisa onke amanxeba. Kwaye emva kwexesha, ujwayele ukujamelana neengxaki zodwa kwaye ujabule, uziva unelisekile ukuba uphumelele, ukuzithemba kwakho kubuyiselwe. Kwaye kulo mzekelo, ngokuqhelekileyo unyaka okanye ezimbini kwakhona, kukho imfuneko yothando olutsha.