Kwaye, imihla ngemihla, ndiqinisekile ukuba ihlabathi labantu alifani nantoni na kwizilwanyana. Ukuba kule ndawo, ukuba kweli lizwe, abesilisa, besondeza iwesifazane, baphonsa bobabini kunye nentombazana. Akukho kwiinkomo ezininzi zezilwanyana ezithatha inxaxheba ekukhuliseni inzala. Ukwahlukana kuphela phakathi kwehlabathi lomntu kunye nezilwanyana zezilwanyana kukuba isilwanyana, ngokuphosa insikazi kunye nabaselula, ababacaphukisi, sishiya silumkile, ngokuzeleyo sikhohlwe imbewu yayo. Indoda, ishiya intsapho, icaphukisa babini kunye nomfazi wayo, izisa ezi zilwanyana ezingakhuselekanga iintlungu kunye nokuxhalabhisa, ngokuhlala zibenza ziinyembezi, zibethe iintliziyo zabo.
Ebomini, ngokuqhelekileyo sifumana le nkcazo engavamile, ebizwa ngokuba ngumtshato. Ndifuna ukunikezela eli nqaku kwisihloko esithi " ukutshatyalaliswa kwentsapho kunye nemiphumo yayo, ukwahlukana njengomtshato weentsapho zanamhlanje ". Namhlanje yonke intsapho yesibini iye yasinda umtshato. Kwaye abantwana abancinci nabancinci bakhula kwintsapho epheleleyo. Mhlawumbi, bekungekho mitshato ephumelelayo ukuba sinokuva kunye nokuqondana, senze izinto ezithintekayo, kwaye sikwazi ukuxhasana. Sizilungiselele thina kwaye sivalelwe ngaphakathi kuthi, siyazi ukuba sizibona njani thina kuphela kwaye singaboni omnye umntu. Kwaye kubonakala ukuba abantu abanalo iimpawu zomntu ezintle, okanye nje abazi ukuthi bangayisebenzisa njani, kuba sisebenza kuphela.
Saziphi na izinto ezimbi kangangokuthi singabacaphukisa abantwana bethu. Into ebaluleke kakhulu, kwaye abantu abanjalo akukho ukulahla komntu kunye nehla yokungcola. Emva koko, umntwana ungcwele. Ukucaphukisa, ukulimaza umntu ongenakunceda ekuthandeni, kulula kakhulu, kuba abazi ukubetha intlungu kunye nokuhlekwa ngetyala.
Kuze kube nini silinde ukuba azalwe ngeenyanga ezilisithoba, zingaphi singalali ebusuku, singakanani esilinga ukwenza ukuba umntwana ahlale evuya, kwaye ezinye izilwanyana zokuziphatha zonakalisa umntwana ebuntwaneni bonke, zicoca i-alimony, zithi wakhe umntwana. Nendlela yokuchazela umntwana ukuba uyise unqumle ukubulala? Umntwana akazi ukuba yiyiphi i-alimony kwaye ayiqondi isizathu sokuba abazali bakhe baqhawule umtshato. Ndingayichazela njani kum umntwana ukuba umama akakwazi ukuthenga le doll okanye umshini wokubhala, kuba ubaba wayiqhekeza?
Ukwahlukana - le nqubo ivelisa umonakalo omkhulu kumntwana, ukuphula umthetho wengqondo yakhe, kwaye umntwana akakhuli umntu opheleleyo. Ukungathobeki kwakhe kubonakalisa kuphela ekukhulisweni komzali omnye, kodwa nangenxa yokuba umntwana, (ngakumbi ukuba uyintombazana), ukhula waba ngumcuki wamadoda. Akayi kuqonda umyeni wakho wesibini, okanye iqabane lakho, kwaye akayi kubona iqabane lakhe kwikamva lakhe. Uya kucinga ukuba bonke abantu bafana noyise. Uya kuyika ukuba umtshato wakho ozayo uza kukuzisa intlungu, kodwa kumntwana, ukubandezeleka kukaMama kuzisa ubunzima obuninzi. Umntwana uya kuhlupheka ngenxa yokuba akakwazi ukwenza nantoni na, ukuba awuyi kuhlupheka. Kuya kuba buhlungu ukubona iinyembezi zakho. Kwaye kunzima kangakanani ngezinye iinkhathi ukuyeka iinyembezi phambi komntwana, kunzima kangakanani ukuzenza ngathi uqine, okanye wenze sengathi akukho nto iyenzekayo. Kodwa awuyi kulila, engayi kumlimaza umntwana kwakhona, kuba umntwana uyintsimi yobomi bethu.
Ukwahlukana kuya kubangela ukuba uqeqesho lwakho lomntwana lube lula, uyayeka ukuthobela, uya kwenza okuchaseneyo. Kuya kuba neengxaki ngenqubekela phambili, kunye nabahlobo, ngememori. Kuya kuba nzima kunzima ukujamelana nomntwana ukuba uyatshintsha. Ngokuziphatha kwakhe, uya kubonisa ukuba uyachasana nomtshato. Kuya kuba nobudlova kuwe nakwabanye. Uya kuzigweba ngenxa yokuba uTata washiya unina kuba wayengengumntwana othobelayo. Umntwana uya kuhlala ephakathi kwakho, uxabana okanye uqhawule umtshato. Umntwana uya kuhlala ehlupheka ngaphezu kwabazali bakhe.
Ngaphambi kokuba uqhawule umtshato, umntwana uqala ukuvakalelwa kukuba abazali abaphathi kakuhle. Ukuxabana kwakho, okukufihla ngokucokisekileyo kumntwana, akuyi kubonwa ngumntwana. Nayiphi na ingxaki phakathi kwabazali iba yingxaki kumntwana wakho.
Yaye wena uya kuqala ukwesaba abantu kunye nemitshato, kuba nayiphi na isahlukaniso ibuhlungu, kwaye nayiphina intlungu ibashiya impembelelo emphefumlweni nasekukhunjweni komntu. Uza kuqala ukwesaba ukuba yangaphambili ingenzeka kwakhona, ukuba umntwana wakho nentliziyo yakho unokuphinde uhlupheke.
Ngoko ke, kungcono ukutshata ubaba olungileyo wabantwana bakho kwixesha elizayo kunokuba umthande wakho. Uthando luya kuphela, kwaye abantwana baya kuhlala ngonaphakade. Uthando luyinto eninzi yonke into, lufana nentuthu, lungavela ngokukhawuleza kwaye luphelise yonke into, kwaye luyakwazi ukutshatyalaliswa ngokukhawuleza, kwaye uya kubona oko ukwenzileyo. Ngoko ke, ngaphambi kokuba uthathe isinyathelo esibalulekileyo ebomini bakho, cingisisa ngemiphumo. Akudingeki uziphonsele echibini.