Ngaloo mzuzu, isandi esingathandekiyo sokumangalisa njengegama "umtshato" livela. Emva kokuba uLoot Tolstoy omkhulu uthe iintsapho ezivuyayo ziyafana, kwaye yonke intsapho engonwabileyo ayiyivuyo ngendlela yayo. Kwiminyaka amabini amabini adlulileyo ukusuka kula mazwi, akukho nto ishintshile. Ukuba intsapho iyakheka kwaye iyavuya, ngoko le nto ayifunwa, kwaye ukuba into ethile ebomini bentsapho yayiphumekanga kwaye ingekho apho, ngoko ndifuna ukufumana imithombo, ukugqiba ukuba ubani omele uxanduva, ukuba yintoni na into ekumele ityala.
Ndifuna ukuqonda oko kwaphule ngokukodwa ubudlelwane babantu abanomdla obonwabileyo ukusuka kwimifanekiso yezitshato kunye nokuba kunokwenzeka yini ukulungisa, okanye ukuba yonke into idilizwe ngokwenene, akukho nto ihambayo kunye nokuqhawula umtshato yodwa kunye nendlela engcono yokuphuma.
Nangona zonke iintlobo zezizathu zokuqhawula umtshato, ezininzi iinguqu ziqhutywe phambili kumacala amabini - ezi zizathu ezibangela ukuqhawula umtshato zingancitshiswa kumaqela alandelayo.
Iqela lokuqala apho uqhawulo-mtshato luyodwa yithuba linye lamalungu entsapho ukugcina ubomi babo, impilo kunye nentlonipho. Kuthetha malunga neentsapho eziwahlukana ngenxa yobundlobongela bomnye wabatshatileyo, zomzimba kunye nokuziphatha. I-Pogoi, ukuhlambalaza, ukuxhatshazwa - esi sizathu sokuqhawula umtshato, esingaziphuthumiyo. Ukungabaza okanye ukucinga ngale meko akunakwenzeka.
Iqela lesibini liqhawule umtshato ngokuphathelele izilingo zenye yamalungu entsapho. Ukusela, ukuxiliswa kweziyobisi, umlutha wokugembula. Ezi mpazamo zinempawu zesifo kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ziphathwa. Ngoko ke, isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato asikwazi ukuthathwa ngomsindo, ngaphandle kokwenza amacandelo omabini ukuba ahlangabezane nalezi zinto ezimbi. Kodwa, ukuba iinzame zenziwe yinye iqela, ngoko ke umphumo ongenakwenzeka ukuba awufezekiswe. Ngamanye amaxesha ubudlelwane bomtshato bomntu buye buthathaka ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukileyo, kwaye nayiphi na into yokusela iwayini inikwe umliselo wokusela utywala kunye nesizathu esona sizathu sokuxoxa ngombandela wokuqhawula umtshato.
Mhlawumbi, zonke ezinye izizathu zokuqhawula umtshato azikho izizathu ezifanelekileyo. Iingcambu zabo zikho kwizizathu zokuzimela. Ezi zizathu zibonakaliswe ngamagama ahlukeneyo, izizathu ezahlukeneyo kunye nezihlandlo zinikezelwa, ukusola kunye kunye nokuhlambalaza. Amaqabane ngexesha loqhawulo mtshato bavakalisa omnye nomnye into eqokelelweyo kwaye ibilise ixesha lokuphila kunye. "Uthole umncinci," "Uthi," Akancedi ngemisebenzi yasendlini, "" Akakwazi ukupheka, "" Uya kufika emva komsebenzi, "" Usuyile emsebenzini. " Ezi zizathu ziba yintloko yokuqhawula umtshato kwiminyaka yokuqala yobomi, kwaye emva kwabo bonke banokukhathala ukuhlala kunye kunye, ukungakwazi okanye ukungafuni ukulungelelanisa, ukuxhaswa kwabantwana abangekho kuxhomekeke kwiminyaka yobudala) ngokubhekiselele kwimvelaphi yokutshatyalaliswa kwesithandwa sothando.
Ubudlelwane bobudlelwane bomtshato ngexesha loqhawulo-mtshato obangelwa kwezi zizathu zizinzileyo kwaye ziguqulwa. Baya kuguquka njengento yokuzondana kunye neentengiso zangexeshana kunye nokutshatyalaliswa kwezinto ezintsha zothando, kuphinda ziphazanyiswe zihlazo. Amaxesha anjalo anokuhlala ixesha elide, ngokuphindaphindiweyo, kwaye ekugqibeleni aholele ekuphumeni kokugqibela, okanye ngokukhawuleza abuyele kwixesha elidlulileyo kwaye uxolo kunye nokuvisisana kubonakala kwintsapho, okanye ubuncinane ukubekezela kunye nokukwazi ukugxila kwiingxaki zeqabane.
Kwiimeko ezinjalo kubalulekile ukuba ungaphazamisi ubudlelwane bomtshato, kungekhona ukuxhasa enye okanye icala, ukuba ungabhubhisi imeko kwintsapho nakwiinjongo ezilungileyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo esi sinzo sizalwa kubazali bomtshato, ngamanye amaxesha abahlobo abakhulu. Naliphi na ukungenelela kwimiba yentsapho evela ngaphandle (ukuba intetho ayihambisani nobungozi ebomini okanye kwimpilo) inemiphumo engapheliyo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba ulwalamano lwentsapho luphuhliswa njani kwikamva, ukuphazamiseka kwangaphandle akuyi kulibala. Ngamanye amagama angakhathali, unako ukutshabalalisa intsapho yakho kwaye ufumane inxaxheba yomsolwa ongunaphakade kule ntshabalalo. Ukuba intsapho iyaqhubeka isaphila kuzo zonke ezi zintlupheko zobomi, ngokufanayo, ubudlelwane kunye nolunye lamalingani luya kutshabalaliswa ngonaphakade.
Eyona nto ibuhlungu ngayo ubudlelwane phakathi kwabatshatileyo ngexesha lokuqhawula abantwana babo. Ubuntwaneni yonke ibonakala ingunaphakade. Inwaba ayinakuqhekeka, iingxaki azithethi. Ngoko ke, nayiphi na ingxabano, nangona kunjalo inkqubo yokuqhawula umtshato, inokuchaphazela kakhulu ingqondo yomntwana, bobabini abaselula nabancinci. Ukungalingani kwengqondo kwabantwana banamhlanje kubangelwa ukuba ngaphezu kwengxenye yabo bahlala kwimindeni engumzali omnye okanye nomzali okhulayo (ngokuphindaphindiweyo uyise, kodwa umama owamkelayo akaqhelekanga). Ngoko ke, ngexesha lokuqhawula umtshato, abazali kufuneka baqaphele ngokukhululekileyo ekuxoxaneni nabantwana kwaye bangatshintshi iingxaki zabo kwiimiphefumlo zabo ezinamahloni kunye namahlombe.
Ukuba loo nto ifikelele ekuqhawulweni komthetho, ukuwela kunye nokwahlukana kwepropati, ke zonke izizathu ezenza njengesahlukaniso sokuqhawula kwakhona ziba yizinto eziphikisanayo kwaye zisetyenziswe njengengxabano yokuzama ukubuyisela ngaphezulu kwipropati yabo efunyenweyo. Akukho mntu uphikisanayo ukuba yonke into yinto enzima kuthi, kodwa kungcono ukugcina ubudlelwane obuhle kunye nomnye nawuphi na ukuxabisa izinto. Ebomini, unokufumana imizekelo emininzi apho abaqabane emva kokuqhawula umtshato baqhubeka begcina ubudlelwane obuhle, ngokubambisana nabantwana, bancedana xa kunesidingo. Kwakhona, kukho abantu abaqhubeka bezondana emva kweminyaka emininzi yobomi obuhlukile. Jonga abo kunye nabanye, baphulaphule uze uzame ukuhlala nabantu nangona bunzima bunzima njengomtshato. Cinga zonke izifundo zobomi bakho, khumbula iimpazamo zakho nezinye iimpazamo zabantu, ukuze ungaziphinda kwixesha elizayo. Emva koko, emva kokuqhawula ubomi bomtshato kuyaqhubeka kwaye isimo sethu sengqondo sixhomekeke kwizinto eziza kuba.