Nangona kunjalo, iziganeko ezinjalo zokuziphatha zifanelekileyo ngakumbi kwiYurophu okanye eMelika. EYurophu, amaxesha amaninzi abafazi baqhubeka bezondana ngokunyanisekileyo. Ukuziphindezela kweentombi kuyingozi, kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo kuyinto encinci kwaye ingenakonakala. Kodwa inzondo yamadoda emva komtshato ingaba nemiphumo emibi kakhulu.
Uthando lwakhe luthetha ntoni emva kokuqhawula umtshato? ERashiya, akanakuthetha nantoni na. Ngoko yinto yesiko kuthi: ukwahlukana neentshaba, ukuphazamisana nesinye isigidibomi somntu okanye ubomi bonke, ukuxabana nabahlobo kunye nezihlobo ezithe zaqhagamshelana nabangaphambili, kwaye kwezinye iimeko ziphindezela.
Ukungakwazi ukuzalisa ubudlelwane nesidima, ukuphuma kubo ngaphandle kokuxhatshazwa kunye nezinye iingxaki, ziqhelekile. Ewe, ngaphandle kwezithethe eziqhelekileyo, emva kokuziphatha okunjalo kunokuba ngumntu onomntu. Ngokuqhelekileyo umntu uyamthiya umfazi wakhe wangaphambili kuba kukho ezinye ezingaphendululwayo, iingxaki ezingaxilwanga. Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha inzondo yakhe ibonakalisa iimvakalelo zakhe ezingapheliyo. Ngendlela, into eyahlukileyo ingaba yinyaniso: ngamanye amaxesha umntu sele sele sele sele ehlile kumfazi wakhe, kwaye wafumana into entsha. Kwaye umfazi wakhe wangaphambili uhlala elinde, ithemba kwaye ukholelwa. Ukuba naye umbiza okanye ubhala imilayezo ye-SMS ngelixa eqhubeka exoxisana ngayo nabahlobo bakhe, oko kukuphazamisa iimvakalelo zakhe ezimbi kumfazi wakhe wangaphambili.
Kukho iingcamango ezahlukeneyo malunga nendlela inkqubo yomtshato isenzeka ngayo. Ezinye izazi zengqondo zithi kufuneka kwenziwe isigqibo sokwenza isigqibo malunga nomtshato. Oku kungayiphi na into ebalulekileyo ebomini bentsapho. Umzekelo, ukutshatyalaliswa okanye ukufa komntwana. Kwaye ukuzalwa komntwana ngamanye amaxesha kuyimvelaphi yokuxabana okungapheliyo phakathi kwabatshatileyo. Ezinye izazi zengqondo - iqela elincinci - liqinisekile ukuba akukho mcimbi ogqithiseleyo ebomini bomtshato onokukwazi ukutshabalalisa ubudlelwane babo njengaye. Le nto ihlala ilandelwa yi-confluence ethile yeemeko ezingathandekiyo, ekulungiselela umhlaba ukuba intsapho ibonakale ekuhluphekeni kokuqala.
Ukuba uqhawule umtshato kwiqabane kwaye ufuna ukuqonda oko kuthandwa nguye emva kokuqhawula umtshato, kufuneka uqale ugqibe amanyathelo enkqubo yokutshatyalaliswa kobudlelwane. Kwenzeka ukuba abatshatileyo abahambelani ngombono wabo wobudlelwane, kwaye omnye wabo sele esele evuthiwe kwaye ulungele ukuhamba, kanti omnye ukholelwa kwikamva elifanayo. Kakade, kule meko, zombini kunzima.
Le meko iqhutyiswa yinto enye engathandekiyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo amadoda, ushiya intsapho, yenza oku kuphela ukuze uqhube umfazi onokupheka. Baya kuhamba baze babuyele amaxesha amaninzi de bathathe isigqibo sokugqibela. Umfazi, ngeli xesha le sigqibo, njengomthetho, sele sele ezinikezele ngokuziphatha kwaye ulungele ukuhlala yedwa. Ngoko emva kokuqhawula umtshato, akasenayo imvakalelo ebukhali kunye namandla ngenxa yenzondo. Ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato kwenzeka kwiqhinga lomfazi, ngokukhawuleza, ngokugqibeleni kwaye kungenakwenzeka. Abafazi bavame ukuqokelela kunye nokugcina okungekho ngaphakathi ngaphakathi, kwaye ukuba bayagqiba ukushiya, bayakwenza oko kanye kunye. Abasetyhini banako ukunyuka phakathi kwezindlu ezahlukeneyo, kunye nokungaqhelekanga, ukuba bahambe "kumama," benza njalo ngonaphakade. Ezi zibalo ukuba ukuba umfazi uthatha isigqibo sokushiya intsapho, ukubuyisela kunzima kakhulu kunomntu.
Ukuba songeza apha ubukhali be sigqibo, ngoko siyakwazi ukuqonda umgangatho wokukhungatheka kwendoda endiyishiyile. Ukukhungatheka yinto evame ukubizwa ngokuthi "ukuphuka" kwintetho eqhelekileyo, kukuvalwa kwezinto ezibalulekileyo zobomi ezenzeka ngokumelene nentando yomntu. Kwaye kaninzi akakwazi ukuphazamisa ezi zithintelo. Ngoko ukukhungatheka ngumhlobo ongenakonakali "we-bummer", ophazamisa ukunyanyiswa kobudlova. Ulwaphulo luyakwazi ukuzibonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo - ngendlela yenzondo, ukuphindezela, ukuxhaphazwa kunye nokuhlaselwa, kunye nangendlela yokuhlaselwa.
Ukuze sigweme iingxaki kunye nenzondo yabantu emva kokuqhawula umtshato, kufuneka sizame ukuthetha ngokugcwele ngokusemandleni kuzo zonke iingxaki ezikhokelela kuyo. Vumela le ngxoxo ibe neentlungu kunye neemvakalelo ezimbi, kodwa kungcono ukuthetha kunokushiya komnye. Kwaye nangona ixesha lidlulile emva kokufumana amaphepha omtshato, kwaye unomuvo wokuthi umyeni owayesakuba ngumyeni uyaqhubeka eveza iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu kuwe, akukhawulezi ukuba uhlale etafileni yokuthetha. Into ephambili - musa ukumgxeka ngokungakhethi. Kukho nawuphi na umbambano, macala omabini asolwe-lo mgaqo obalulekileyo uza kukunceda ukuba ungakhubekisi umntu ngeze. Ukuba awuzange uthandane okanye ufumene ulwimi oluqhelekileyo, oku akuthethi ukuba omnye wenu akayikho ithemba. Ngako oko, ukuthetha naye ngento ovakalelwa ngayo kwaye ucinge ngombono wakhe, kwaye ungazami ukubonisa amabango akhe njengobungqina bokungabi namsebenzi.