Wonke umama onothando nangaphambi kokuzalwa komntwana uyakwazi ukufunda kwakhona intaba yeencwadi ezinikezelwe unyameko nokuphuhliswa kweemvuthu. Yaye kungekhona nje ukuyifunda ngokucophelela, kodwa nokuphumeza ngokuphumelelayo yonke imigaqo ebonakala ingqiqweni kuyo. Kodwa inkunzi ikhula ngokukhawuleza, umsebenzi wakhe wokuqonda uyanda, uqala ukusebenzisana nabanye abantu, kwaye yilapho abazali bejamelana neengxaki zokuqala zemfundo. Kwaye nangona iincwadi ezikule sihloko zingaphezu koko, ngokuqhelekileyo imigaqo echazwe kuyo, bambalwa abantu abakwazi ukusebenzisa kwizinto zobomi bemihla ngemihla. Kodwa kudala kwiminyaka yokufundela ukuba abazali babeke isiseko sokubonakala kwexesha elizayo lokuziphatha kwabo, bazinikele ngeengcamango ezisisiseko zento elungileyo nento engalunganga. Sinokuqiniseka njani ukuba iimvuthu zakha imigangatho yokuziphatha ezinzileyo engaxhomekeke kwizinto zangaphandle?
Okokuqala, kufuneka kuthethwe ukuba ukuba ukuya kutsho iminyaka engama-2-3, ininzi yezenzo zemvumba ayengazi, kwaye ifikelele kule minyaka, abantwana bafunda ukwenza kakuhle, ngokukhawuleza. Kwaye ukuchasana ngumgaqo-siseko wesiphi isenzo sokuziphatha. Ukongezelela, kule minyaka, umntwana uqala ukwakha ingcamango yokuqala yezinto ezilungileyo kunye nezinto ezimbi. Oku kwenzeka ntoni? Ekubeni umntwana usoloko edibanisa nabantu ahlukeneyo, kwinkqubo yokunxibelelana, kwimimiselo yeemeko zobomi ezilula, ufunda ukuba kuye kubonakala ngegama "elungileyo" kunye "nobubi". Uncedo kule nto kunye neengxelo zamaphepha, iimifanekiso, iifilimu.Ukongezelela, umntwana osemncinci uhlala ebona ukuziphatha kwabantu abadala. Ulwalamano lwabo kunye nomoya wabo kumntwana ngumzekelo ocacileyo "wokufunda ngentlalo", ngenxa yokuba umntwana uhlakulela ukuziphatha okuqala kokuziphatha.
Kodwa ukwazi imigangatho yokuziphatha kunye nokugcina ukugcina kwabo ngaphandle, yinto enye, kodwa ukufezekisa ukugcina kwabo kwintsana eneminyaka engama-3-4 ubudala. Indlela eqhelekileyo abayisebenzisa ngayo ngabalawuli bangaphandle. Ngeentlawulo kunye nokukhuthazwa, umntwana uzama ukubonisa indlela yokusebenza, kwaye akunjalo. Kulo nyaka ngenxa yabantwana, kungabikho bani, kubalulekile ukuvuma nokuthanda abantu abadala, abafuna ukufanelwa nayo nayiphi na indlela efikelelekayo.
Ewe, le ndlela iphumelela, kodwa kuphela ekuqaleni, xa umntu omdala engakwazi ukulawula rhoqo umsebenzi weemvuthu, kwaye igunya lakhe alinakufunyanwa. Ngokukhawuleza xa umntwana ekhula kwaye ulawulo lwabazali lubuthakathaka, umntwana akanako ukukhuthazwa kwangaphakathi ukwenza izenzo zokuziphatha.
Indlela yokuvelisa ezi njongo, ezingayi kuxhomekeke ekulawuleni kwabazali kwaye ziza kuba zizizathu zokukhuthaza umntwana ukuba ziphathe ngokuchanekileyo, zibonise imfesane, imfesane, ukunyaniseka nokumelela ubulungisa kungekuphela kwedwa?
Indlela esebenzayo ngakumbi kukusebenza kwimeko yezemidlalo eziyinkcazo apho umntwana ecelwa ukuba aqale abonise iimpawu ezithile zokuziphatha, aze alonge ukubonakaliswa kwawo komnye umntu kwimeko efanayo.
Kulula kakhulu kwintsana ukwenza into efanelekileyo xa kukho umntu osondeleyo oya kumlawula, kodwa ngokukhawuleza xa ulawulo luyalala, i-motivation iyalala. Ukuzifumana kwindlalifa yomlawuli kunye nokukhumbula indlela abayenzayo ngayo, iimvuthu ziyamangaliswa kwaye ziqhenyiswe ngethemba abathe banikwa zona kwaye zizama ukuyixabisa nayiphi na intengo. Oku kukhokelela ekubunjweni kubantwana bokujonga kwabo ukuziphatha okulungileyo, okungaba sisisusa sangaphakathi esilawula ukuziphatha kwakhe.
Ukongezelela, abazali bafanele bakhumbule ukuba umphumo omhle kumntwana unikezelwa ziziganeko endaweni yokugwetywa ngokungaziphathi kakuhle, ukuxolelwa okumele kunikwe. Ngokuqinisekileyo, oku akusebenzi kuyo yonke into elandelanayo, kodwa kwimimiselo emininzi kunokwenzeka ukuba ubonise inkomo ukuba impazamo ayisoloko ilandelwa yintetho. Oku kunokumkhuthaza ukuba alwele ukuqinisekisa ukuba ulawulo lwaluncinane kunokwenzeka. Kwaye ke, akufanele sikhohlwe ukuba ngaba ngabazali abafanayo kuphela abakwazi ukuvelisa umntwana oziphatha ngokwenene ngokuthetha ngokusondeleyo nangokwenene, kunye nolunye uhlobo lwemihla ngemihla yokuzithemba kwihlabathi, isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo nakwezinye, kunye nomnqweno wokulondoloza umfanekiso wayo omuhle emehlweni abantu. Ezi zizathu zokuziphatha kwangempela.