Ngokuqhelekileyo, ezi ntsapho zinomntwana omnye okanye ngaphezulu. Kuba nayiphi na umntwana, ukuqhawula umtshato ngabazali, ngaphezu kwakho konke, uxinzelelo olukhulu, olunefuthe elibi kwimeko yengqondo yabantwana. Intsapho iyunithi eyisiseko yoluntu. Yintsapho efundisa umntwana ukuba athande, avuyiswe ubomi, ukwazi umhlaba, ukufuna indawo kuluntu. Ubudlelwane phakathi kwabazali ngumzekelo kubantwana, kumzekelo wabazali, abantwana bafunda ukusinda kwiimeko ezinzima kwaye kwixesha elizayo bakhe ubuhlobo babo. Ngaloo ndlela, intsapho yekhaya ayikwazi ukuchaphazela imeko yengqondo yabantwana emva kokuqhawula abazali.
Abantwana baqonda ngokucacileyo ukwahlukana kwabazali babo. Into ebaluleke kakhulu kukuba ininzi intsha ivakalelwa yintyala, kuba ayinakuwugcina umtshato wabazali babo. Mhlawumbi lo mvakalelo uya kumncenga umntwana ixesha elide emva kokuqhawula abazali.
Olunye uvakalelo olunobungozi olunegalelo elibi nakwiimeko zabantwana emva kokuba umtshato uqhawule Umntwana uqala ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa uthando lomzali oshiye intsapho kwaye, ngokuchaseneyo, kukho umsindo othile kumzali wesibini. Abantwana abaninzi banokungenangqondo, baqala ukufuna ukunyuselwa kwenyuka. Abanye baxhomekeke kwizifo eziqhelekileyo kunye nokuguquka kwemizwelo.
Umbuso wabantwana ubonakaliswa nobudlelwane nabantu abakujikelezile. Abantwana bangabonisa ukuhlaselwa kobuthathaka kubathishela okanye nabo bafunda nabo. Abantwana abaninzi banenkinga esikolweni ngenxa yokuziphatha okubi nokungathobeli. Ngokweengcali, impembelelo embi engqondweni yengqondo yomntwana ibonakala phakathi kwamakhwenkwe. Kwakhona, kukholwa ukuba iphakamileyo yobudala, unamandla ngakumbi umntwana usinda ekuhlalweni kwentsapho. Ngokuqhelekileyo "abantwana bayabethwa ngezandla", bazama ukungayithobeli imithetho kunye nemigangatho yokuziphatha esekelwe kuluntu, kukho ukuvakalelwa komsindo nentando kubantu abadala okanye omnye wabazali. Kwiimeko ezinqabileyo, umntwana osemtsha unokuba nokuzibulala. Kungenzeka ukuba umntwana uya kuhlazeka yintsapho yakhe phambi kwabahlobo bakhe.
Emva koqhawulo lwabazali, enye inkalo enkulu yokwesaba yabantwana ibonakala kwintsapho yomntu omtsha oza kuzama ukukwenza ukhuphiswano lomzali. Ngaloo ndlela, kukho umona wobukhwele kunye nokungabi namsebenzi kumntu ngaphandle kwakhe. Kule meko, umntwana unokubalekela ekhaya, achithe ixesha elininzi kunye nabahlobo bakhe. Abantwana abaninzi bazama ukulala ebusuku noontanga babo ukuze bazame ukuziva unentsapho epheleleyo.
Umzekelo wabazali unokuchaphazela kakubi ubomi bomntwana. Abantwana abaninzi abavela kwiintsapho eziqhawule, njengomthetho, baphinda iimpazamo zabazali babo kwaye banokutshabalalisa umtshato wabo. Ngokwezibalo, iminyaka apho abantwana abasuka kwintsapho eqhawule umtshato batshata kakhulu kunabantwana abavela kwiintsapho eziqhelekileyo. Oku kuchazwa ngumnqweno wokwenza umlinganiselo wentsapho eqinile ukuba wayenqatshelwe njengomntwana. Kodwa ubuncinci bezona zizathu ezibalulekileyo zokuqhawula umtshato kwizingane ezinjalo.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, unokuphephelela imiphumo emibi yombuso wabantwana, ukuba uzame ukungamthinteli umntwana kunye nokuthanda nokulandela iingcebiso ezithile zeengqondo zeengqondo. Ngoko ke, imithetho eyisiseko eya kunceda isimo sengqondo sabantwana emva kokuqhawula umtshato:
- Gcina umoya ofudumele kulwalamano nomntwana wakho.
- Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato, ngoko into efanelekileyo kukuthetha ngokunyanisekileyo nangengqiqo nomntwana. Ndimele ndimxelele yonke into efana nayo, ukuze esikhathini esizayo akugxeki ngokuqamba amanga nokuphathwa kakubi. Kule meko, awukwazi ukuwucala umntwana ngomnye wabazali.
- Nika umntwana ingqalelo. Ngokuqhelekileyo ukucacisa ukuba bayamthanda.
- Zama ukulungiselela iintlanganiso rhoqo kunye nomzali wesibini, ukuze umntwana angabi nomsindo kuye ngokushiya intsapho.
- Ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuhamba nomntwana kwiipaki, iimyuziyamu, iifilimu kunye nezinye izinto zokuzonwabisa. Oku kuya kunceda umntwana wakho ukuba angacingi ngokuqhawula umtshato kwaye angayinki kwiingcamango ezibuhlungu. Ngaloo ndlela, uya kufumana ngokukhawuleza ukutshatyalaliswa kwabazali bakhe.
- Zama ukutshintsha iimeko zokuphila eziqhelekileyo kumntwana okwesikhashana. (isikolo, indawo yokuhlala, abahlobo)
- Ungalokothi ufumene ubuhlobo phambi komntwana ongenakonakalisa i-psyche. Kungenxa yoko oku kuba abantwana abaninzi kamva banomvakalelo.
Ukuba unamathela kule miyalelo elula, unokunceda umntwana wakho kulula ukujamelana neemeko ezinzima.