Ekuqaleni kweengxabano, abantu abadala bayakhohlwa ngabantu abancinci abancinci ukuba baqonde into eyenzekayo, kutheni uxolo lwabo oluqhekekileyo luye lwaphulwa, kwaye kutheni kungenakwenziwa ukuze yonke into ibe ngaphambili.
Ngaphambi kokuba abazali bahlanganyele ngokwenene, umntwana uziva utshintsho kubudlelwane phakathi komama noyise. Ngaphezu koko, abazali ekutshatheni kwemfazwe banokungabi nantoni kunye nokungaxolisi kwengane. Okanye, ngokuchaseneyo - bayaphambukela, "banikela" umntwana kumakhulu, ukuze aphazamise ukuhlangabezana neengxaki "zabantu abadala". Usizi, ukwesaba, ulwaphulo - ngamanye amaxesha, umntu omncinci kufuneka alwe nale ngxaki.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantwana baqonda ukuxothwa kobazali kwintsapho njengenqatshelwe. Ibali eliqhelekileyo: umntwana ukholelwa ukuba upapa washiya ngenxa yokuba wayengenakulungele: abazali babevame ukufunga ngenxa yokuziphatha kwakhe, uyise wayenentloni ngamabanga akhe esikolweni. Umntwana ucinga ukuba xa efumana ngcono - utata angabuya. Ngesizathu esifanayo, uhlala eneentloni ukuthetha malunga nento eyenzeka kubahlobo okanye ootitshala. Indoda encinane ngexesha elifanayo ivakalelwa ityala ngenxa yento eyenzekayo kunye nokwesaba ukushiywa.
Indlela yokuxelela umntwana omncinci malunga nokuhamba kukayise kwintsapho, ukuze angamlimazi? Indlela yokunciphisa ukukhathazeka kwengqondo okubangelwa ngokuqhawuka kwabazali?
Kubalulekile ukuxelela umntwana malunga nokwahlukana okuzayo ngaphambi kokuba kwenzeke ngokwenene-ngoko, uya kuba nethuba lokuthetha nomzali ngamnye, ukulungelelanisa imeko emitsha, ukulungiselela ukuphuhliswa kokuqhubeka kweemeko.
Chaza oko kwenzekayo ngaphandle kokumangalela umntu. Abazali mabaxelele ukuba banqwenela ukusabalalisa, kwaye "akuyikho uyihlo oyisiqhayisa-usilahle." Inkwenkwe kufuneka ibone ukuba umama nobaba abayikhohlisi, kodwa kunye bafuna indlela eyamkelekileyo yokuphuma kwimeko. Xa beqhawule umtshato, abazali kufuneka bahlale behlangene kwimicimbi ephathelele kubantwana. Ngokufanelekileyo, ukuba bahlala besondelene, kunye nokuwela intlungu yendawo, baya kugcina ukuqonda kunye nokuhlonipha.
Ukuhlukana, kubalulekile ukugxininisa kumntwana ekugqibeleni isigqibo eso. Musa ukuvusa ubomi bentwana ukuba inokuchaphazela isigqibo sakho, kwaye intsapho iya kuphinda ihlangane. Kukho iimeko xa abantwana beyeka yonke imizamo yabo ukuba "bafanelwe upapa". Ngamanye amaxesha, umntwana ukholelwa ukuba xa egula - utata uya kubuya. Le yingozi eyakufuneka igwenywe.
Umntwana makaqiniseke ukuba akayi kulahlekelwa nayiphi na yabazali. Oku kubaluleke kakhulu kumbuzo wendlela yokuxelela umntwana omncinci malunga nokuhoxiswa koyise kwintsapho. Bobabini nonina bamthanda. Into eyenzekayo phakathi kwabo ayigxininisi ekuthandeni lwabo umntwana. Kulungile ukuba umntwana unelungelo lokuqhagamshelana nabani na bazali ngaso sonke ixesha - bhala nje kwaye ushiye kwindawo evelele zombini iinombolo zefowuni. Kodwa, umama noTata akufanele bazame "ukudonsa" umntwana, wonke umntu - ecaleni lakhe, "ukumkhohlisa" ngokunyanzelisa izigwebo kunye nezipho. Oku kungakhokelela ekubunzeni isimo sengqondo sabathengi kubazali kunye nokuziphatha okukhohlisa.
Xa ushiya, utata kufuneka anike umntembelo othembekileyo ukuba unakho nganoma kunini na ixesha. Upapa kufuneka achaze indlela kwaye baya kudibana nini na. Thetha malunga nendlela umntwana acinga ngayo le ntlanganiso: apho bahamba ndawonye ukuhamba, xa beya kwiseksi. Cwangcisa ikamva elilodwa. Oku kuya kunceda ukunqoba ukwesaba okungaziwa, "fumana umhlaba phantsi kweenyawo zakho." Kodwa, unganikeli izithembiso ezingenakuvalwa - zingabangela ingcinezelo enzulu kumntwana.
Ukuba uyise akafuni ukudibana nabantwana, kwaye akunakwenzeka ukutshintsha isigqibo sakhe, kubalulekile ukuchazela umntwana ukuba isizathu asikho kuye. Kodwa, nangona kunjalo, akufanele utyise uyihlo ngodaka. Unokuthi uBawo akabi, udidekile. Xa ekhulile, umntwana ngokwakhe uya kwenza izigqibo malunga nezizathu zokuziphatha kwakhe. Mhlawumbi uyise uya kugqiba ukucinga kwakhona ngeenkolelo zakhe, kodwa ungakhuthazi umntwana - usongela ngenye indlela edumalayo.
Ngethuba lokuqala ekuphahleni kwentsapho, abantwana bahlala bexhalabile, banobudlova, balahlekelwa umdla kwimfundo nokuzilibazisa. Uloyiko oluninzi lwabantwana luya kwandisa - ukwesaba ubumnyama, ukwesaba ukuba yedwa, njl njl. Oku konke - iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zoxinzelelo. Ukunceda umntu omncinci "ukugaya" utshintsho olunzulu, phelisa ukuxhatshazwa - kuyakunceda ukutyelela ngengqondo yengqondo yomntwana. Musa ukwesaba abahlaziyi be-ostriks - abasoloko, ukubonakaliswa kwangaphandle kweemvakalelo kunika ithuba elihle ngakumbi kwixesha elizayo.
Zama ukwenza nje utshintsho oluncinane njengoko lunokwenzeka rhoqo, iinkqubo zemihla ngemihla. Umntwana ngethuba lokuqala kubaluleke kakhulu ukugcina ubudlelwane obudala - abahlobo abasuka egcekeni, isikolo esikwaziyo, icandelo lezemidlalo, njl. Kucetyiswa ukuba ungatshintshi indawo yokuhlala kuyo umntwana. Indlu - inqaba encinci - inokuhlala "ngamaxesha anzima.
Ukuthetha nomntwana malunga nokuqhawula umtshato, mchazele ukuba le yithuba elilukhuni nelingathandekiyo, kodwa kufuneka libe namava. Ngokukhawuleza emva kokuqhawula umtshato, kunokwenzeka ukuba awufanele ulindele ukuphucuka okucace. Kodwa, bonisa ukuzithemba ukuba uya kuhlangabezana naluphi na ntlekele kunye, kwaye yonke into iya kusebenza.
Qiniseka ukuba umntwana uyaqonda intsingiselo yamagama akho. "Abazali baqhawule umtshato" - eli binzana kwintetho yabantwana ayinakuthetha ngokuthe ngqo oko abantu abadala bathetha. Ingongoma ephambili kukuba abazali abayibe besaphila endlwini efanayo, bayayeka ukuba ngumyeni nomfazi. Kwaye, nganye nganye, iqabane elitsha liyakubonakala. Ungamangaliswa ukuba umntwana ubuyele kumanqaku athile kumbuzo ofanayo. Ingumzamo 'wokugaya' umcimbi ngokumemezela ngokuphindaphindiweyo.
Ukuhlukana, abazali kufuneka babonise ingqwalasela kunye nokunyamezela okukhulu: abantwana banokubakhathalela ngokucacileyo ukuba baqhawule umtshato, bengabamkeli amaqabane amasha nonina. Kodwa, akuyimfuneko ukuthatha isikhundla saboni abangapheliyo. Chaza umntwana ukuba abazali banelungelo lokuzonwabisa.