Iingcali zengqondo zithi abantu abakwazi ukuphosa ukucaphuka, banako ukuthetha ngeengxaki zabo baze baxoxe, baxhamle kwaye banomdla, kulula kakhulu ukujamelana nokuxinezeleka, kwaye bazingekho phantsi kwazo. Kwaye ukuba uvakalelwa ukubonakala kwezi meko kuwe, kukho iindlela ezilula zokulwa neempawu zokudandatheka kunye nokudandatheka.
Izizathu zokudakumba ngexesha lethu lizele. Ngokomzekelo, waphunyelelwa, ushiywa ngumyeni okanye umfazi, unxulumene nolwalamano kunye nabantwana okanye intsapho, uvakalelwa kukuba unqongophala lwemali - yinto encinci yalezo zizathu ezinokubangela uxinzelelo lwelizwe. Izizathu zokudakumba zihlukile kumntu ngamnye, nganye imeko nganye, kwaye yonke into ixhomekeke kumntu ngokwakhe, iimpawu zakhe, iimpawu zakhe zeengqondo kunye neqondo lokukhathala kwakhe.
Ehlabathini leNtshona, iinkonzo ze-psychoanalyst zithandwa kakhulu, ziya kukuphulaphula ngemali yakho, zama ukuqonda ingxaki yakho uze uzame ukuyisombulula. Uza kusebenza kude ude ugqitywe nokuxinezeleka okanye awupheli ngemali.
Ehlabathini lethu, apho abantu bazama okungenani ukuba basindise into ethile, ukhetho kunye ne-psychoanalyst lanyamalala. Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba akukho ndlela efanelekileyo yokulwa nokudandatheka. Eyona nto ibhetele, kwaye nangaphezulu, inkululeko, indlela yokujongana nokudakumba ingxoxo engqinileyo nomntu osondele kuthi. Le ncoko, apho unako ukuthulula yonke into eqokelele emphefumlweni wakho, kunokukunceda uphefumle ukukhulula kwaye mhlawumbi ukhohlwe ukuxinezeleka. Kodwa ingxaki kukuba abahlobo abanokuqonda kunye nabaqondayo abasenokungabikho, kunye nabantu abanokuphulaphula baze bancede ngokwenene - ngokuqhelekileyo, akunakunqwenela ukudibana. Ngaphezu koko, kuninzi, nangomhlobo ongcono, awuyi kuthetha ngaye. Kwaye awukwazi ukufumana uncedo kwiintsapho, baya kuhlupheka nawe kuphela.
Abantu abaninzi baphendukela kwelinye indlela yokulwa nokudandatheka, okukuvumela ukuba uthethe ngabanye abanobuhlungu, ufumane uluvo lomntu kwaye mhlawumbi ufumane iingcebiso. Ukwenza oku, babhala amaphephandaba okanye amaphephancwadi, bathethe ngxaki ebabandezelayo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukubeka yonke into ephepheni, umntu wenza amanyathelo okuqala aphume kwiimeko ezixinezelekileyo. Xa ebhala, ubheka ngaphandle kwaye ubujonge ingxaki yakhe ngelinye iliso, elimnceda ukuba ahlalutye kwaye ahlukanise eyona nto evela kwisekondari. Ngamanye amaxesha isityhilelo esinjalo kwiphepha linceda ukucacisa ingcambu yelizwe elixinzezelekileyo kwaye ufumane indlela yokuphuma kwimeko.
Kodwa kungekho rhoqo ngeendlela ezilula unokuzikhupha iimpawu zokudakumba. Umbuso wezempilo unokuba lubi nakakhulu, wonke umntu oza kubakho uza kubonakala iintshaba, iingxaki zentsapho kunye nomsebenzi zingabonakala. Uqala ukuziva uxolo kwaye udibanise ngaphakathi kwesi sivakalelo. Yonke into ayinandaba, kwaye izandla ziyahla. Kutheni umzabalazo ukuba yonke into imbi?
Musa ukulinda uze ufike kwimeko. Hlanganisa yonke intando yakho uze uzame ukuhlanganisa umlingiswa wakho kunye nawo onke amandla akho ukulwa nokudakumba. Khumbula, enye yeendlela eziphambili zokuphatha le meko yithemba lakho kwizakhono zakho. Ngoko ke, zinike ukufakela, ulungelelanise kwimpumelelo, kwaye uya kuphumelela.