Ukuzithemba ngokuchanekileyo yile mgangathiso apho baninzi bethu ebomini bethu badla ngokulahleka. Ikakhulukazi abasetyhini, ngokutsho kwengcaphephe yengqondo, banokungathinteki kwimpembelelo engafanelekanga yokugxekwa ngaphandle kunye nokuzithengisa ngokwakho kunamadoda. Indlela yokuzithemba, ziphakamise ukuzithemba kwaye uzithande ngokwakho, funda kwinqaku lethu lanamhlanje.
Umgca omuhle: yintoni ukuzithemba nokuzithemba
Ngaphambi kokuba uqale isiluleko esisebenzayo, kufuneka uqonde ukuba yintoni - ukuzithemba. Kwengqondo, ingqiqo yokuzithemba ibonwa ngombono wobungakanani bomntu kwaye ichaza ukuvavanya okulungileyo kwezakhono kunye nobuchule. Ukuzithemba kuqala ukudala ebuntwaneni, xa umntwana eqala ukulinganisa iimpumelelo zakhe ezincinci kunye nokwaneliseka kokuziphatha. Ukuba ngeli thuba abazali kunye nendalo yomntwana bayamxhasa, bajabule kwaye badumise, ngoko umntwana ukhula ngokuzithemba ngamakhono akhe. Ngako oko, ukugxekwa, ngokukrakra kunye nokunyaniseka, kunye nokungabi ncedi kukuxhasa indlela yokwakhiwa kwexesha elizayo kunye nokungakholwa kwabo.
Ngexesha elifanayo, ukudunyiswa okungenangqiqo nokunyamekela okuninzi kunobungozi ekubunjweni komntu wengane, njengokuba kugxininisa nokugqithisa. Iindumiso zexesha elizeleyo kunye neendumiso ngaphandle kwesizathu siba sisizathu sokulinganisela okwaneleyo kwemigudu yabo, eyona nto ibangela ukubunjwa kweempawu ezifana nokuzithemba nokuzikhukhumeza. Umehluko omkhulu phakathi kokuzithemba nokuzithemba yinto efanelekileyo yokuvavanya amandla akho kunye nempumelelo. Umntu othembekileyo unako ukuvavanya ngokucacileyo amandla abo kunye nesicelo sabo ukufezekisa iinjongo zabo. Umntu onokuzithemba akakwazi ukwenza oku: akanayo ukugxeka, akayi kubona izinto ezinokubangela ukongelwa, uhlala esengozini ngaphandle kokufuneka ngqo. Ngokuphathelele abantu abanokuzithemba bavame ukuxelelwa ukuba iinjongo zabo ziphuma esikolweni kwaye ziziphakamisa kwi-footestal. Njengomthetho, ukuzithemba ngamaphutha kwimfundo, kwaye kuphela ke iimpawu zobuntu.
Ngoko, ukuzithemba yiyo isiseko sokuziphatha okwaneleyo komntu, isithembiso sokuphumelela nokuphumelela kwempumelelo yayo. Ukuzithemba kuhlobene kakhulu nomnye umqondo wengqondo - ukuzithemba, okubhekiselele kwingcamango yomntu ngokubaluleka kwayo, iimfanelo zabo kunye nezidumbu. Ukuzithemba ngokuzenzekelayo kuhambelana nokuzithemba ngokweqile, kunye nokuxhomekeka, ngokulandelanayo, okubonakalisa ukungakhuselekanga kwizakhono zabo. Ukuzivocavoca ngokwaneleyo, xa umntu ethembele kuye ngokwakhe, kwaye emva kwesi sithemba azinalo iinjongo ezingenanto, kodwa iimpawu zomntu kunye neempumelelo.
Izizathu ezibalulekileyo zokuzithemba
Okuphambili, kodwa ukude nesizathu esisodwa sokungabi nantembelo, esiye sichaze ngasentla ziimpawu zokukhulisa kunye nobudlelwane obubi kwintsapho. Kodwa ukuba intsapho iyona yodwa inqununu, ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba imbali yayiyazi imimiselo emihle yabantu abaphumelelayo kwiintsapho ezingasebenzi, abathi, "bazenzele". Le mizekelo efanayo ibonisa ubungqina bokuba ezininzi izinto ezibangela ukungaqiniseki zikhona kuthi. Yintoni ebangela ukuba kuqaliswe oku kubhaliweyo?
Ukungazi nto yam yokwenene "mna"
Okokuqala, ukungazi nokwenyulwa kobuntu. Ukuze siqonde oko kusemgangathweni siya kunika umzekelo olula. Sonke siphila kwinkqubo yobomi iindima ezininzi esichaza zona. Ngomfazi, iimbopheleleko ezinjalo zidla ngokuba: Ntombi, Intombazana, Isikolo, Intombazana, Umfundi, Othandekayo, Owesifazane, Osebenza kunye naye, Umfazi, Unina, Ugogo ... Ngokuxhomekeka kwiimeko zobomi kunye nezinto eziphambili, umyalelo, inani kunye nokubunjwa kwale midima kuyahluka. Kodwa i-essence iyahlala yinto efanayo: siyaziqhelanisa ukuzibonakalisa thina ngokwemisebenzi yethu nganye kwaye asazi ukuba yiyiphi na loo mabhokisi. Kodwa ukuba ulahla zonke iindibano zentlalo kunye nemifanekiso enziwe, ke "kuphela" nge-"kuphela" mna, ubukho apho sihlala sikhohlwe khona. Ngoko, ukuba umfazi ujwayele ukuzibonakalisa ngokwakhe, umzekelo, ngokuqina kwakhe kunye nendima yomlawuli, ngoko ukuzithemba kwakhe kuya kupheliswa ngokukhawuleza xa elahlekelwa ishishini lakhe. Isimo esifanayo silindele kwaye unina, ophelisa ngokupheleleyo abantwana bakhe kunye nempilo kunye neemfuno zabantwana kunye neemfuno zabo. Ngokukhawuleza xa abantwana bekhula, loo mfazi ulahlekelwa yinto yokuzithemba aze aphelise ubomi.
Ukungabi nenjongo efanelekileyo yobomi
Okwesibini, ukuzithemba kuncike kakhulu kukuxhomekeka kolwazi olucacileyo lwenjongo yobomi bakho. Ukubuyela kumzekelo womama, kunokuthiwa ukuba abantwana abadala bayawuthintela umama wento ephambili ebomini bakhe-abanyamekele. Akumangalisi ukuba uye wahlala iminyaka emininzi ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba abantwana banentsingiselo yobomi, ibhinqa lilahlekile kwaye alikwazi ukuba liqhubeke. Akakhuselekanga, ukuba uyakwazi ukuziqonda kwelinye icala kwaye akwaziyo ukuba angaphila. Sula ulwazi malunga neenjongo zakho, ubukho becwangciso lobomi ngokudibanisa nokuzibonakalisa ukuzimela kukunceda ukuphepha le mpazamo.
Ukungakwazi ukuthi "Hayi"
Kwaye, okwesithathu, abo abangakwaziyo ukubeka imida yabo ecacileyo kunye nalabo abasondezayo bahlala bexhalaleka. Ukuba kunzima ukuba uthi "Hayi" kumntu ongenakukhathazeka nawe, okanye ngokuqhelekileyo yenza ukuba abahlobo bakho basebenzise ububele bakho bekhululekile, ngoko mhlawumbi uncike kakhulu kwimibono yabanye. Yilo xhomekeke kwinto edala ukuzithemba. Abasetyhini, ngenxa yeempawu zabo zengqondo, baqinisekiswa "ngokuhlanganisana" nabanye. Umzekelo ocacileyo kukuzibonakalisa wena kunye nosana kwiminyaka yokuqala yobomi bakhe. Ukudibanisa okunjalo yindlela yokwenza ukuba umntwana aphile. Kuzo zonke ezinye iimeko, ukungabikho kwemida ecacileyo kubangelwa ukuguqulwa kwengqondo komntu kunye nokugqithisa kwayo. Ngoko ke, kunjalo, akukho nto inokuthetha ngayo ngokuzithemba.
Indlela yokuzithemba kwindoda enamandla: iingcebiso ezisebenzayo
Masisondele ngokukhawuleza enye into ebalulekileyo: ukubunjwa kokwethemba kuthatha ixesha kwaye usebenze ngokwakho. Ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukuphumeza iziphakamiso zethu, qwaba ixesha lokufikelela kwisiphumo esifunileyo. Bamele babe yinyani, akufuneki kubekho naluphi uhlobo "ukuzithemba ngeveki". Kwakhona kubalulekile ukucinga ngokucacileyo ukuba yintoni impela "ingqiqo" yakho iya kubandakanya. Kucetyiswa ukuba ubhale uluhlu lweempawu ocinga ukuba umfazi oqinileyo kwaye othembekileyo ofuna ukuba nawo. Uluhlu kunye nemigomo luza kukunceda ukuba ungalathisi kuphela, kodwa uzakubeka iinjongo eziphakathi. Njengoko bathetha, indlovu kufuneka idliwe kwiingcezu.
Ukwenza kube lula kuwe ukufezekisa lo msebenzi, sinika uluhlu olulinganiselwayo lweempawu eziya kuthi, ngokweengcali zeengqondo, abantu abanentembelo banalo. Ungayithatha njengesiseko kwaye ungeze ngezinto zakho. Ngoko, umfazi othembekileyo uhlukile:
- ngenjongo
- uya kuba namandla
- nziswano
- ukuzimisela
- ubuchule
- sengqondo esifanelekileyo
- ukucaca imida
- ukuzihlola ngokwaneleyo
- ukuxinezeleka
- ukuqonda zabo iimfuno
- ukukwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zomntu
- ukuqonda kwabo ubuthathaka
- amandla aphezulu okusebenza
- umnqweno wokuzizalisekisa
Emva kokukhupha uluhlu lwakho lweempawu, hlalutya uze ufake uphawu lokutshekisha malunga nezinto ohambelana ngazo ngexesha. Iimpawu ezingabonakaliyo ziya kuba ziinjongo zakho eziphakathi, oza kuziqonda ngokuthe ngcembe.
Ngokuphathelele ixesha, ngokuqhelekileyo, umntu uthatha malunga nonyaka ukuphumeza iziphumo ezibonakalayo "kwimfundo" yakhe. Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuba ube nesineke kwaye ngokuthe gqolo uhambele phambili.
Indlela yokuba nethemba kwaye uphakamise ukuzithemba kwakho: ukuzivocavoca kakhulu
Ngoko, ngokucacisa icebo lesenzo, kufuneka uqhubekele ukuwufezekisa. Uncedo kule ndlela ekhethekileyo yengqondo ejolise ekusebenzeni ubuthathaka bakho.
Yithi: "Yeka!"
Ngokomzekelo, ukuba unobungozi bomngcipheko, kufuneka usebenze ukuze ukhusele iimfuno zakho. Ukusebenza kakhulu kulo mbandela ubizwa ngokuthi "Yeka": rhoqo xa umntu ovela kwiintsapho zakho, abahlobo okanye osebenza nabo becela enye inkonzo eyanceda zakho iimfuno, mxelele ngokucacileyo "Hayi". Okokuqala, unokuziqhelanisa phambi kwesibuko okanye kunye neqabane, ulahlekelwe yimeko efanayo. Funda ukula ngokuqinile, kodwa ngokuzithoba, okhokelwa ngqiqo, kungekhona imvakalelo. Kwaye xa uqinisekile ukuba unelungelo lokufika kwi-100%. Uvavanyo oluthile olufanayo lunokufunyanwa kwikhwalithi nganye ukusuka kwiluhlu lwakho lokuzithemba, apho kufuneka usebenze khona.
Cinga ngokwakho njengomfanekiso womfazi ophumelelayo
Ukongezelela, ukulinganisa impumelelo yangaphandle kunceda kakhulu ekwakheni ukuzithemba. Kuthe malunga neendlela zokuziphatha zeendlela zokuziphatha ezihambelanayo nabantu abaphumelelayo nabathembekileyo. Zichaze ngokwakho umgangatho wesifazane oqinileyo, othembekileyo. Ingaba ngumdumo, umhlobo wakho okanye umfanekiso wakho okhohlakeleyo. Khawucinge ngokubhekiselele ekuziphatheni kwakho okulungileyo: phawula indlela athetha ngayo, indlela aziphatha ngayo kwiimeko ezinzima, ukuba uyayisombulula njani iingxaki. Kubalulekile ukubonakaliswa kwangaphandle kokuqinisekileyo, umzekelo, ukuxabana, indlela yokugqoka, ukubonakalisa ubuso kunye nesenzo. Emva kokuhlalutya idatha, zama ukufumana ezinye zazo. Umzekelo, ukulungeleka kakhulu ekubunzeni ukuzithemba kukuchaphazela ukuhamba okufanelekileyo. Funda ukugcina umqolo wakho ngokuqondile, ungakhubeki uze ungabhoxo. Yenza umsebenzi othembekileyo phambi kwesibuko okanye ngencwadi entloko yakho.
Zithande
Kodwa into ephambili kukuba uzithande. Umfazi othembekileyo uyahlala ehlonipha kwaye uyazixabisa yena nomzimba wakhe. Unesabelo sokuzigxekisa, kodwa oku akuthinteli ukuba azithande kwaye aziphucule rhoqo. Okokuqala, phawula "izikhala" ebuntwini bakho obukuthintela ukuba uzithande. Ukuba ezi zinto zingaphandle nje ngekhilogram engabonakaliyo okanye isikhumba sengxaki, yenza okusemandleni akho ukuba uzilahle kanye kanye. Ukuba izizathu zibaluleke kakhulu, ngoko-ke, bhekisa, umzekelo, kwisifo sengqondo esinokukunceda ukuba ubhekane nengxaki "yengqondo". Ungakulibali malunga nezixhobo zakho zangaphakathi, ezifana nokuzikhangela kunye nokukhuthaza - qi ni sekisa ukuba uzisebenzise ukuphucula.
Ngoku uyazi indlela yokuphakamisa ukuzithemba kwakho kwaye ube nokuzithemba. Qala indlela yakho yokuzithemba namhlanje kwaye ngokukhawuleza uza kubona iziphumo ezilungileyo zokuqala!