Mhlawumbi, ngamnye wethu wayezibuza ukuba kutheni abanye abantu banobubele kwaye banobuhle, kodwa umntu kufuneka ahlazise kwaye ahlasele umntu ukuze athole uhlobo oluthile lokuzonwabisa okungavamile kule nto. Sisiphi isizathu sokuziphatha kwabantu abanjalo abaphanga?
II Complexes
Abambalwa baye baphumelela ukusinda ebuntwaneni baze bangene ebomini ngokupheleleyo ngaphandle kobunzima. Kukho abantu abanjalo kuphela. Ngokwenene, iziganeko ezininzi kunye nabantu abasisigxina siholele ekubeni abantu banezakhiwo ezithile ezinokubambisana nabo bonke ubomi babo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abadeleli ngabo babuthathaka kunabanye, abo bahlekisiwe, abo bahlaziswayo kwaye banyeliswa. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, aba bantwana kunye nabaselula bayakhula, kodwa isisa sohlazo sasihlala nabo ngonaphakade. Kwaye endaweni yokuhlenga into ethile kunye nokutshintsha into ethile, abantu abaphanga baqala ukuzibhokoxa ngeendleko zabanye. Emahlweni abo maxhoba, bakhetha abo babuthathaka ngokuziphatha, abo bangayi kulwa ngenxa yokuba bayamthanda lo mntu okhohlisayo. Kwindlela yokuziphatha abadeleli, akusoloko kunokwenzeka ukufumana ingqiqo. Bangakwazi ukuqala ngokoqobo ukusuka kwisiqingatha-sithuba kulawo maxesha apho abantu abaqhelekileyo abazange bawunake oko kwathethwa. Abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba abaphambukeli baneengxaki ezithile nge-psyche, kwaye abaxanduva lwezenzo zabo. Enyanisweni, oku akunjalo. Ingqondo iyayiqonda into ayenzayo, kodwa ihlala ifihla izifo ezithile zengqondo kunye nokunye. Ngomntu onobugwenxa, nokuba kunjani na, omnye akufanele akhuphe. Ukuba uqala ukuhlazisa nokuhlambalaza, kubalulekile ukulwa. Ukuba awukwazi, i-despot iya kuhlala iqinisekiswa ngeendleko zakho.
Ukungaqhelekanga
Esinye isizathu sokuba ukuxolisa kwabantu kukuchaswa kwinyani. Okokuthi, umntu ukholelwa ukuba abo banabo, baphila baphatha kakubi. Uyakhathazeka kakhulu kwaye uzama ukulungisa indawo yakhe, endaweni yokushiya nje le ngqungquthela yokunxibelelana. Ngokuqhelekileyo i-despot isiqinisekisile ukuba uyazi ukuba ngubani olungeleyo ukwenza nokwenzayo. Ukuba sibuza i-despot ukuba kutheni wamemeza umntu, wamhlekisa, uya kuphendulela ngokungaphenduliyo ukuba abantu ngokwabo baxeka ukuba babe takobratsya. Umntu ongeyena ungeke abone iingxaki zakhe, kodwa uya kuhlala ebona kwaye acinge ngeengxaki zabanye abantu. Ngokomzekelo, ngokukhawuleza ukuphanga i-muzhirugayutsya baze babethe nabasetyhini babo, kuba bakholelwa ukuba badinga into yokufundisa kwaye bona ngokwabo bafanele batyala. Enyanisweni, i-despot ayikhathazi ngumntu oqhelekileyo, onalo uluvo lwakhe. Ubuthakathaka ngokwalo bubuthathaka, kuba abazi indlela yokwandisa imida yehlabathi labo leengqondo. Abantu abanokwenza oku akuze babe ngabadeleli. Nangona banenkqantosi ethile, bayabambana nabo ngokungafaniyo, bethola izinto ezintsha, ukujonga izinto ezintsha kunye njalo njalo. Ngesipoti, konke kwenzeka ngokuhlukileyo. Udala umhlaba wakhe omncinci apho ubeka khona imithetho engazangekiyo. Yaye ukuba umntu ufuna ukungahlali ngokuhambelana nale mithetho, i-despot iziva ifuna ukufundisa umntu ngengqondo. Ngelo xesha, akavumelani ngokupheleleyo neengxabano, nangona zixhaswa ngongcamango. Ngomntu ophanga, into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuhlala ilungile. Ngoko ke, xa ebona ukuba iingxabano zomntu zingenza abanye bakholwe, ngoko uyacaphuka ngakumbi. Kuye, kufana nesinye isifo sokuzithemba, esele sisezantsi ukuba ngaphandle kokuzithoba kwabanye, i-despot iziva ibuhlungu kwaye ingabalulekanga.
Ngenyameko kwaye engazi
Izidumbu zibini ziyazi kakuhle kwaye ziyazi. Ukuba umntu uziphatha kakubi, uyazithemba ngokuzenzekelayo, enyanzeliswa yiinkomfa, indawo engqongileyo njalonjalo. Loo mntu unengqondo ngokukhawuleza. Akazami ukuzama ukuzihlalutya kwaye akafuni ukuqonda isizathu sokuba izalamane kunye nabantu abasondeleyo bembiza ngokuthi yi-delpot and so on. Abantu abanjalo baziphatha ngokukhawuleza kuphela ngeenjongo ezilungileyo. Ngokulula, ihlabathi labo lincinci kakhulu, i-acrusor incinci kakhulu kunabanye abantu. Kwaye xa abantu beqala ukuhamba ngaphaya kwe-iramki, abo bahlubuki bayakhala baze basongele ukunyanzelisa iindwendwe. Icandelo eliqhelekileyo lolo hlobo lwenkcazo kukuba xa uyise elela abantwana bakhe ukuba benze into ethile, kuba uyaqiniseka ukuba ezo zifundo aziyi kuzisa nto. Ngaphezu koko, nayiphi na ingxabano ayinikwe yona, wayeya kumela ngokulinganayo, engalaleli nabani na. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abadeleli abaphulaphuli ngombono womnye umntu. Yingakho kunzima kakhulu ukuba badlulisele ulwazi malunga nokuziphatha kwabo. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba abo baziphatha kakubi bengenakukwazi ukuguquka ngokuziphatha kwabo xa beqonda oko bakwenzayo. Amatyala anjalo awaninzi, kodwa kunjalo, kwenzeka. Kwaye xa umntu ebona indlela ehlala ehlasele ngayo izihlobo kunye nabafuphi, yena ngokwakhe uyaxhalabisa ngokuziphatha kwakhe, ekubeni yonke into engayenzanga, wenza ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba kuya kuba ngcono.
Udidi lwesibini lwabadeleli lububi kakhulu kuneyokuqala, kuba aba bantu bayazi kakuhle izinto abakwenzayo. Ngaphezu koko, kuzisa ubutyebi. Ezi zihlazo zinomlinganiselo obanzi kwaye zinganyaniseka kwaye zinyamezela. Abaninzi abaqapheli ukuba ezilandelayo kuzo ziyiyo. Iphosa, kwakhona, alibonakalisi ubuso bakhe bokwenene, de kubekho umntu onika ukulahla. Ubunqwenelekayo balabo bahlaseli kukuba bathuthuza abo bathandayo okanye abo bawoyikayo. Ngomntu ongenamvakalelo enamandla kwi-despot, akakwazi ukujamelana nayo, kuba akanakho ukuphazamiseka kwengcinezelo. Kodwa uloyiko okanye umntu onothando akanakuze akhuphe ngokufanelekileyo kwaye uhlala eyika ukulahlekelwa ngumntu okhuselekileyo okanye okhuselekileyo. Ezi ziimpawu ezikhohlisayo. Ndicinga ukuba abaninzi babone indlela inkwenkwana ehlakisayo ngayo, yambetha intombazana leyo, kwaye xa izama ukumkhuza, iqala ukumemeza ithi: "Cwaka, mhlawumbi ndiya kukushiya, ndikushiye!". Oku kukubonakaliswa okuqhelekileyo kweengxaki zokuzimela. Umntu uqonde ngokucacileyo oko akwenzayo kwaye esebenzisa ngobuchule ubuthathaka bomntu ahlekisa ngaye. Ezi zihlazo azitshintshi, kuba ziziphatha ngendlela ecacileyo kwaye zithokoze kuyo. Ngomntu onjalo kunzima ukulwa kwaye uzame ukumisa ngandlela-thile, ekubeni umsebenzi walo owona mkhulu ukuzithemba ngokuzithengisa abanye ngaphandle kweendleko. Ngoko ke, ukuba udibana nenjongo enjalo, akufanele uzame ukumkholisa okanye ukuvula amehlo akho kwinyani. Kungcono ukuhamba nje kwaye ungavumeli ukuba ufumane nayiphi na imvakalelo yesipoti.