Ubunzima obunzima
Ngokwalo, uvakalelo lwezono aluthathelanga nantoni na. Ngaba kubi, wenze isenzo esibi, ukuba uqaphele oku kwaye uyilungise (ukuba kunokwenzeka), okanye wenze impazamo, guquka uze ungaphindi kwakhona. Ngelinye igama, lisifundisa ukuba sifumane imida yento evumelekileyo kwaye singayi kuwela. Kodwa oku kulungile. Enyanisweni, ahluke. Ngokuqhelekileyo yonke into ihamba ngokugqithiseleyo: emva kokuba senze iphutha, 'silingelwa' ngoluvo olutyala. Kwaye nge-inertia sizive sizisola kungekuphela nje kwezenzo zethu, kodwa ngenxa yokungapheleli kwehlabathi lonke. Ungamangalisi apho ivela khona-le meko ivela kubuntwaneni.
Ukususela esemncinci, abazali, ngaphandle kokukwazi, bafundisa umntwana ukuba azive enetyala. Ekuqaleni, kuthethwa ngaye kunye nokuziphatha kakuhle, indlela kunye nokwenza ntoni, ngoko kubuza amathuba omntwana ngokwakhe. Kwaye, ngokukhawuleza, ucinga ngezinto ezingazange zilungele ukuba nethemba. Xa uneminyaka yobudala, uxinzelelo luya kwanda kuphela. IiKomrades, oogxa kunye, ngokubanzi, uluntu ngokubanzi, zongezwa kwizizalwane. Kuvela ukuba sinetyala kumntu wonke. Sivame ukubanceda ukuba bafeze umsebenzi wabo, ngelixa bezele, sihlala nabanye abantwana, xa kunzima kakhulu kuthi, siphulaphula izikhalazo ngobomi, nangona kunjalo kunzima. Yaye ungathini ukunceda, uphoswe ngenxa yokuba. Yiloo nto ekufuneka iqhekezwe phakathi kwentswelo yecala kunye neminqweno yakho. Nangona kunjalo, akufanele kube njalo. Kwaye sithetha ntoni ngezinto ezinzulu. Xa ngokukhawuleza wakhubeka waza wenza iphutha, elikhulu, nakwihlabathi jikelele. Ukuba awuzixolelanga ngexesha, uya "kudla" wena, ngeyona nto ihamba phambili, kwiiveki ezimbalwa, okanye nakwimpilo. Uze uhlale uzinzile.
Ukulahlwa yecala
Indlela yokuphulukisa kwiimeko zokuhlala unetyala ayisoloko ilula. Ukuyeka ukuhamba kwakho kunzima kunzima kunokuba utshintshe. Kodwa inkululeko ingaqala! Into ephambili kukuba kuthathe isinyathelo sokuqala. Kwaye makube ukuqonda ukuba ingqiqo engenamacala isaphila ebomini bakho. Emva kokuba ufundeke kwaye usebenzise le ngcamango, ungaqhubeka. Kwaye ke iingxaki zangempela ziya kuqala. Siya kufuneka sifunde ukuhlaziya ngokuzenzekelayo imeko, siqonde iimpawu zeemvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo, kungekhona ukuba ziqhutywe ngabanye abantu, ziphuhlise amandla kunye nokuzithemba. Konke oku kunokufumaneka kuphela ngokuzikhandla ngokwakho.
- Okokuqala, kufuneka ufunde indlela yokulawula intetho yakho. Ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kuba neengxaki ngamagama athi "sorry" kunye "ukuxolela". Kucacile ukuba kufuneka usebenzise kuphela ukuba impazamo iyenziwe ngokwenene. Kuzo zonke ezinye iimeko, kuyafaneleka ukucinga: unetyala?
- Funda ukuqonda abaphathi. Basenokuba boogxa kunye kunye nabantu abasondelene kakhulu. Kodwa kungakhathaliseki oku, kufuneka utsho "cha" kuwo wonke umntu ngendlela efanayo. Oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka bahlale benqatshelwe. Kunoko, siya kufuneka siziqhelise kunye nelokuba uncedo luya kunikwa, kodwa kuphela kwiimeko ezingxamisekileyo okanye kungekukho ukulimaza kwakho.
- Kubaluleke kakhulu ubuchule bokuhlukanisa uxanduva lomntu siqu ukusuka ekutshintsheni ezinye iingxaki zabantu kumagxa abo. Akufanelekile ukuthwala uxanduva, kodwa ngelo xesha ucinga ukuba unetyala, ngenxa yezinye iimpazamo zomntu kuphela ngenxa yokuba umntu akakwazi ukucombulula iingxaki zabo.
- Musa ukuzibandakanya kwi-flagellation kwaye ngenxa yokuba ityala lilandela isigwebo. Yaye uhlala ucinga ngempazamo, uyayifaka ngokungaqhelekanga. Ngoko ke, ukuba ukungaqondi kakuhle okuqala kuyenzeka ebomini bakho, kuyafaneleka ukucinga, mhlawumbi lixesha lokuyeka ukuzigxeka ngenxa yezizathu?
- Uyazi, ukuba ukuziva unetyala kunamandla kangangokuthi akunakwenzeka ukujamelana nayo yedwa, kungcono ukubuyela kwingcali-yengqondo. Kakade, akulula ukuvula omnye umntu, nokuba ugqirha. Kodwa umvuzo uya kuphelisa ukuzisola okungekho nto kunye nokuzimela.
Indlela yokulwa
Musa ukulinda de ixesha apho ityala liba yingxaki enkulu, ngokukhawuleza qalisa ukulahla. Ukwenza oku, ufuna iphepha kunye neepeni. Le ndlela "yokulwa" isetyenziswa rhoqo ngenxa yesizathu esilula ukuba ikuvumela ukuba ubone ngcamango. Kwaye ke, kungcono ukuziqonda kwaye ubhekisise imeko ngaphandle. Ngoko:
Inyathelo elilodwa . Kwiinkcukacha ezincinci, khumbula isiganeko uze ubhale phantsi. Kufuneka kubonakale njengengxelo eyomileyo yeengqinisiso, akukho mvakalelo, akukho ukuvavanya kunye nokukhawuleza, njengokuthi "kakuhle, andicinga ...". Into ephambili kukukhumbula yonke into, nangona ihlazo kwaye ingathandeki, kwaye ubhale phantsi.
Inyathelo ezimbini. Qonda ukuba nayiphi na isenzo esichukumisiweyo ngesizathu okanye, nokuba, ezimbalwa, kubalulekile. Ngoko ke, unokuchaza yonke into! Kwaye kubaluleke ngakumbi, ubhale phantsi ekupheleni kwebali. Kakade, oku akulula. Ngokukodwa, ukuba wenze into embi, kubangele umona okanye, mhlawumbi, ukuhlambalaza. Kodwa ukuba uvume wena ngokwakho kufuneka uyanyanisekile kwaye unganyaniseki.
Isinyathelo esithathu . Kungakhathaliseki ukuba kuthethwa njani, vumela wena. Khawucinge ngokucokisekileyo malunga nokuba kutheni ungenza isenzo oza kuthi uzigwebe ngoku. Kwaye ngokukhawuleza xa uyifumana, ungalibali, uphinde usuke ngemini. Kuze kube lula ukuba ingcamango ingabikho "ayi-zasyadet" entloko yakho.
Isinyathelo sesine. Lahla elidlulileyo, ngokoqobo. Kwaye ukuba uthetha ngokuchanekileyo, ngoko uvela kwiphepha apho yonke into ibhalwa khona. Ingatshiswa kwaye ichithekele umlotha emoyeni, idwengulwe kwiinqununu ezincinane kwaye ilahlekelwe. Ngokuqhelekileyo, yenza nantoni na oyithandayo, nje ungayigcine. Le nqubo iya kunceda ukulahla iimvakalelo ezibi kunye namava. Ngokuqinisekileyo, zonke izono ezivela kuwe aziyi kuhamba, kodwa uya kufumana i-push push.
Isinyathelo esithandathu . Ngamanye amaxesha, iimfihlelo zethu zinoyika kwaye zihlazo ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuxelela abantu abasondeleyo. Kodwa, ukuba awukwazi ukuthula, usabelane nomntu ongaziyo: umntu othembekileyo, umbingeleli okanye umhlobo othile. Nabani na, kubalulekile ukuba kube lula.
Isinyathelo Sithandathu. Ukubonelela ityala, ukukhumbula ukuba elidlulileyo alikwazi ukulungiswa. Ngelishwa, asikwazi ukubuyela emva, kwaye senza yonke into, ngokufanayo. Kodwa sinokucela ukuxolelwa kumntu owacaphukileyo, ngokubiza ngokuthe ngqo okanye entlanganisweni, okanye ngengqondo, ukuba ude okanye engaphila. Kwimeko yokugqibela, kubalulekile ukucinga ngomfanekiso womntu okanye ukuthatha isithombe sakhe kunye naye, kodwa ngokunyanisekileyo ukucela ukuxolelwa. Emva koko funda kwimeko yesifundo, khumbula kwaye awusekho kuwo. Kodwa kungcono, ukuba ukuqonda kwakho kunye nokuqonda kwephutha kuya kuxhaswa ngezenzo zekhonkco. Umzekelo, lumkisa abanye abantu ukuba bangene enkingeni efanayo.
Isinyathelo esixhenxe. Kwaye into yokugqibela eyenziwe yinto enzima kakhulu. Zixolele kwaye uzibale. Zibuze: "Kutheni ndimele ndiphile ubomi benomdla wokuhlala ndinezono? Akulungile! "Abantu abangekho oomatshini. Ngamanye amaxesha siyazilibala, sithukuthele, sizithibe, sithuke. Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kubomi "bubangalisa" ngexesha abangazange balungiselele. Yaye yinto into esiyithethayo yona: "Kwaye kwadlulayo." Emva koko flip kweli phepha kwikamva lakho uze uphile ngaphandle kwengqondo yecala, kodwa ngamava amaninzi.
Ixesha elidlulileyo alikwazi ukutshintshwa, kodwa kuxhomekeke kuwe, yintoni eya kuba yikho kunye nekamva. Funda kwiimpazamo zezifundo kwaye ungaziphindi. Hlalani kwicala eliqaqambileyo lobomi-kwaye ukuziva unetyala kuyakuyeka ukukutyelela nonke.