Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, amadoda nabesifazane abangaphezu kwemashumi amathathu ngokuzumayo bazibamba ngokucinga: "Ubeka iinjongo zakho, ukhuphuke, uzame, uphumelele, kwaye, phantse yonke into onokuyiphupha ngayo ... Kodwa ngenxa yezizathu ezithile ayinalutho. Kwaye andonwabile. "
Xa ndababuza abantu abanjalo ukuba bacinga ngexesha elidlulileyo lexesha apho bafezekisa khona iinjongo zabo, abaqhelanga nantoni na into. Ngokuchanekileyo, imemori igcina ikhonkco ehlelekile yeemeko, umntu uyazithuthuzela ngokwakhe, eninzi eyenziwe, engqondweni uyazihalalisa ngokwenza oko kuphunyeziweyo, kodwa iinkumbulo ngokwabo "azifudumali". Kwaye oku kungundoqo yenkinga - ubomi bekungaphili, kodwa baqhubela phambili, bafumana ngokukhawuleza kunye nokunyaniseka, ngeendlela ezininzi bephikisiwe, ngeendlela ezininzi umnqamlezo wafakwa. Kwaye kuvela kwimpumelelo kwaye akukho nto inokuzonwabisa. Kwaye kwanabantwana kunye nosapho ngokukhawuleza baphendukela kwisiqhelo - kodwa, umntu "ufikelele" emtshatweni, wakhiqiza umntwana, kodwa ubomi obuninzi yinto equkethe inkqubo! Kwaye sele 'sele ehluthe', ufuna iimfuno ezintsha, "ukunqoba" amatsha.
Siya kuthiwa sichaza igama elilodwa labantu njengemiphumo, kunye nelinye njengenkqubo. Zenziwe ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. I-psychologist yomphumo ovela kwiimfuno eziqhubekayo ezivela kuluntu, abazali, izihlobo: kufuneka ufeze oku kwaye, okanye ukuba uya kuthathwa njengokuhluleka. Isiphumo esingazi ukuba sinelisekile noko akukho, uhlala enganelisekanga naye, kunye nemilinganiselo yokuphila, uyaziqhathanisa kunye nabanye (njengoko abazali bakhe banokumfanisa nabo). Yingakho kukho umntu okanye into engamvumeli ukuba aphile ngokuthula, emnyanzela ukuba abeke iinjongo eziphakamileyo kunye nokuzikhawuleza ngamandla akhe onke. Ukungabikho kwesi sikhundla kukuba umntu onjalo akanalo ixesha elaneleyo kunye nomnqweno wokucinga: ngaba ezi njongo zakhe? Ngaba ngaba ufuna ngokwenene ukuba abe neyona nto ayilwela ngayo? Emva koko, iimfuno zabo bonke zihluke ngokwenene. Futhi ngaphandle kokuba nexesha lokucinga malunga nokuba ufuna ngokuthe ngqo ubutyebi okanye isimo esibonakalisiweyo, okanye nentsapho, isiphumo siphumelele ekubeni yinkampu yeengcamango ezingakwazi ukuphikisana nokuthanda kwakhe. Emva kwakho konke, nawuphi na umntu ophantsi kwenkqonkqoza enekona yeenqweno zinyani, ukuba uyathanda-umsebenzi wakhe kweli hlabathi. Kodwa akukho xesha lokucinga ngalo.
Inkathazo nazo zonke iziphumo zixhalaba, ukukhathala kwizinto ezizungezile, umnqweno wokuguqula amaqabane (emva koko konke, oko / oko sele kunqunyiwe, kubalulekile nakhona!) Kwaye ukusekwa kwehlabathi elingaphandle kufuneka lihlale libavuselela - amatsha "ahla", ukuzonwabisa, ukugubha. Emva kokuba uMilan Kundera ebhala ukuba ijubane lihambelana ngokuthe ngqo kumandla okugqitywa. Oku kuthetha ukuba ngokukhawuleza sihamba ebomini, singaphantsi sikhumbule kwaye sihluphekile kwihlabathi lethu elingaphakathi, ngelixa umntu ofuna ukuyizalisa ngokukhawuleza, unciphisa amanqanaba, ujonge amanqanaba onke, yonke imemori okanye intshukumo yengqondo, nganye u kugubha.
Inkqubo iphinda ikhule yenzalo "I". Kuye, umgaqo othi "wazi ngokwakho" ayikho ibinzana elingenanto. Ukongeza kwenzalo kuye, akanalo umdla kumhlaba. Akazikhawulezi, ngoko ke ufunda yonke into ejulile kunomdlali. Ingumntu onokwenza umntu onokuyithokozela enye iqabane iminyaka kwaye engayazi igama elithi "inzondo", unokuhlala esiqhekeza iintsuku ezimbalwa, eze nesigqibo esicacileyo kwintsimi yezoshishino aze avuke ngengceba ngomso. Nguye "uthanda", ngubani onethamsanqa, nangona ngokwenene imfihlelo iyilula: akayi kukhawuleza naphi na, kwaye ngoko ulawula ukunikezela into ephambili kwaye asebenzise ngokufanelekileyo amakhono akhe kunye neendlela ezikhoyo zehlabathi. Ifilosofi yakhe iyilula: yonke imzuzu yokuphila kufuneka ibe yinto enandiphayo, kuba ilandelayo ayikwazi ukuba!
Umzabalazo wesiphumo , ongakhange uqondwe kakuhle, unokufaniswa nokuphendulwa komzimba: abantu babonakala bebalekela, bafihla emva kwempumelelo, njengokungathi bafuna ukusithi "ndikhangele, andinakubakho namabango kum, ndikunike zonke, Ndinezinto zonke, ndihloniphe! "Kwaye kuyafana nokukhala ukucela uncedo. Kuba emva kwesi sigama sisoyika-ukwesaba ukungabi nantoni ngaphakathi, ukwesaba ukunyanzeliswa kwabanye, kwaye kubonakala ukuba umntu onjalo akaqinisekanga kuye - mhlawumbi uya kuhlala njengoko afuna. Kwaye akayikukhathalela oko abanye bacinga. Kodwa ukuba akukho lwazi lwangaphakathi, akukho bulumko bokungena ngaphakathi - ngoko unokuzikhusela kuphela kwinyaniso emva kobuhlanga emva kweziphumo. Kuphi into ephambili akuyikuba yedwa nawe.