Ngokuqhelekileyo umntu ufunyaniswa ukuba une-rhinosis "idemon ekhongweni," kunye nomntu omncinane ecaleni kwakhe - ukuphelelwa amandla kwimeko, kunye nempumelelo yeso sithandwa. Kwaye akukho mntu ucinga ukuba aba bantu banokuthandana ngokwenene kwaye basondele, njengabanye. Ukuzithemba abahlezi bengazi imida, kwaye yintoni ekhona ukucinga - yonke into isele ibonakala. Ulungile kumntombazana wakhe, bahlala bedidekile, yena-nokuba ncinane kwaye akayi kufuna uthanda nothando, kunye ne-semolina isidlo sakusasa kunye nokulala amapilisi ebusuku. Luhlobo luni luthando esinokuthetha ngalo? Ukubala kuphela, kwaye akukho nanye indlela. Ibinzana eliqhelekileyo elinokufunyanwa emtshatweni xa indoda ikhulile kukuba: "Awuboni, ulindele nje ukuba" anqumle ihashe ", ingaba yintoni ilifa .." Ngethuba elifanayo, njengemiboniso yokubonisa, ukuhleka okunjalo kuvela kungabi nasisiseko, kodwa kubeka isithunzi esihle ngokholo kunye nesimo esilumkileyo. Musa ukucinga, akukho mntu uya kuqinisekisa umntu ukuba lo lu thando, kwaye kuphela xa iimeko xa amantombazana engazange athande nomntu, kodwa kunye nenani lezero kwi-akhawunti yebhanki, kunye nobukho bezinto "ezininzi" zeBenjamin Franklin kwisikhwama, kodwa kuphela ukuqinisekisa ubungqina bokuthi iimvakalelo zikhona.
Kwakhona kudlalwa ukuba imitshato engalinganiyo, kunye nokuba khona kweemvakalelo, ivele ilahlekelwe. Kwaye kukho izizathu ezininzi ezibalulekileyo.
Ngoko masiqhubeke sicinga ukuba umtshato ubonakala njani xa umntu ekhulile.
Ngubani oqhubayo?
Ngokuqhelekileyo ibinzana malunga nothando "njengaloo nto," lukhohlisa, nangona inoveli enomphefumlo. Ukuba kwakungekho "into engento, kodwa kungenanto", ngoko uthando lwethu luya kuba ngonaphakade kwaye lusasazeka kumntu wokuqala esidibene naye, kwaye ngoko nangoko sambona umntu wesini esahlukileyo. Uya kumisa umntu othile, aze anikele yonke imvakalelo yakhe, ukunyanzelisa ngokucacileyo le mpawu, ngenxa yembonakalo esiyithandayo kwaye into esiyikhethayo. Ingabonakala, ingqondo, indlela yokwenza, ezinye izakhono ezikhethekileyo, izakhono, imikhwa, iimpawu zobuntu. Kwaye xa sisazi ngakumbi umntu esiyithandayo, ngakumbi "iihitshi" ezinjalo esizifumanayo, ezomeleza ukukhanga kwethu komnye nomnye.
Kwenzeka kuwo wonke umntu, kungakhathaliseki ubudala, ngokwesini, nakwimeko yentlalo. Ngoko ke, ngomtshato ongalinganiyo, zikho izizathu zokuba kutheni umntu osemdala ukhetha intombazana encinci, kwaye umfazi-wanyamekela umntu oqinileyo, omdala kunabo.
Kodwa makhe siqale ngendlela.
Ngokuqhelekileyo umlinganiselo wobudala obuqhelekileyo phakathi kwabantu abatshatileyo uneminyaka engama-3-5. Into eqhelekileyo ibonwa luluntu kwaye icaciswa ngokucacileyo kwinqanaba leengqondo. Inyaniso kukuba, ngokukodwa, izibini ziqala ukugunyaza ubudlelwane emva kokuba zifikelele ekuhlaleni okuthile. Kodwa ekubeni abafazi kulo mba benza kakuhle, ngoko ke umahluko phakathi kweminyaka emi-5, bafumana ulwimi oluqhelekileyo, ngokuba banqanaba elifanayo lophuhliso lwabo loluntu.
Kwiimeko apho indoda ikhulile kunowesifazane ngowama-10.20, okanye kwiminyaka engama-30, omnye umthetho usele usebenza. Apha, kungekuphela nje ukuhluka kobudala obuqalayo, kodwa kunye nokwahlukana okukhulu kwehlabathi, iinjongo zobomi, iimfuno, kunye nokuqonda jikelele kunye nembono yobomi. Kodwa, abo baqabane baqala ukukhanga omnye komnye njengomtshini. Isizathu sokuba ibhinqa idla ngokukhawuleza ukukhula kwakhe, amava, ukungabi nako umoya entloko, kunye nobuntwana, kunye nomntu onjalo, unokuziva ekhuselekile, ethembele kwixesha elizayo, ukuzinza. Kwaye kumntu omdala, isidalwa esincinane esinjalo, siphenduka njenge-aple yowutsha, kwaye yathinteka nje ngoku kuhamba, ukunyaniseka, ukunyamekela nolutsha. Ngoko loo mntu ngokwakhe unokuvakalelwa ukutyhutyana kwamandla kunye namandla, njengoko besithi, ukuva ulutsha lwesibini. Uziva uzimelele, kwaye ubona lo mtshato njengethuba lokuqalisa ubomi obutsha. Ngoko ke, kubantu abanjalo umtshato nomntu omncinci, ngokuqhelekileyo uba ngowesibili, okanye wesithathu, emva kokuba amahlombe sele anamava obomi bentsapho. Ngokuqhelekileyo inzondelelo enjalo "ukuqala ukususela ekuqaleni", izalwe kumadoda ngexesha lobunzima bexesha eliphakathi, kwaye lihlala malunga neminyaka engama-2-3. Emva kokuba ubhujane buhla, kwaye indoda ingakwazi ukuyihlola ngokwenene imeko - umtshato uphula.
Izizathu zokubola .
Isizathu sokuba iibini zithatha isinyathelo esinjalo njengomtshato ongalinganiyo, kwaye umnqweno wokuzalisa ukusilela kwabo bonke ubomi, kwisicwangciso sengqondo, kwakhona.
Umnqweno wentombazana ukutshata nomntu omdala kunokuba ungabandakanyeka ngokungabikho koyise kwintsapho apho akhula khona, ukulahleka kwakhe kwangoko, okanye ukuthatha inxaxheba kwintando yentsapho ekukhuliseni nasekufeni kwabantwana. Uzama ukuzalisa izitya ezimbini ezingenanto kunye nomntu oyedwa kwintsapho yakhe: ukumbona njengendoda yakhe, nokufumana ukunakekelwa kobazali kunye nenkxaso. Kule meko, isizathu sokuhlukana kuya kuba kukukhula kwentombazana. Emva kwakho konke, abantwana ngokukhawuleza bashiye isidleke seentsapho, kwaye abasayikufuna ukugcinwa kwabazali babo. Kwaye ukuba ekuqaleni ukuhlukana okunjalo akudibanisi kakhulu isibini, emva kwexesha, utshintsho kwimimiselo yobomi, ixabiso kunye neemfuno zingabenza abantu abangaziwayo.
Ukujonga imeko ngamehlo endoda, siya kubona umfanekiso ohlukileyo wento eyenzekayo. Nanku ukungaqiniseki ngokwesondo kwendoda kuza kudlala indima enkulu, kunye nokwesaba ukuthelekisa. Emva koko, ezungeze apho kukho abesetyhini abadala, kwaye banamava amaninzi, kodwa kusekhenkco efanayo kwaye banesizungu. Kodwa ngenxa yesizathu esithile, ukhetho luwela kwisidalwa esincinane esibheka kwihlabathi ngeglasi ezikhanyayo. Inyaniso yokuba indoda engaboni kakuhle iyayiqonda ukuba sele ingazange ifane neyokuqala, kwaye mhlawumbi ngoku ikhona ixesha elingaze likwazi ukukhanya phambi kokuba le nkosikazi enezakhono zakhe kunye nobuchule bakhe. Abafazi abanamava babenalo, kunye noko baqhathanise baze bazi ukuba bafuna ntoni, ngoko, njengesiqhelo esincinane esingenalwazi olubona yonke into, njengento yokungafuneki ukwenza nayiphi na imfuno. Ngako oko, ukulinganisa kwenza ubomi bube lula kumntu. Ngokuqhelekileyo, yonke into eyenzekayo ebomini, into ephambili kukuba uyayixabisa imvakalelo yakho, kungakhathaliseki ubudala.