Ngoku igama elithi "ubunzima" lisetyenziswe ngabaninzi, kodwa kungekhona wonke umntu owaziyo oko kuthetha. Eyokuqala malunga neengxube zathetha uKarl Jung, kwaye nguye owazisa igama ukusebenzisa. Ngokutsho koLutsha, ubunzima "kukuvelisa iimvakalelo kunye neengcamango eziye zabuyiselwa kukungazi". Ngamanye amazwi, ubunzima be-symbiosis yeemvakalelo kunye nemeko yomntu, iinjongo zakhe, imibutho, yonke into enempembelelo ecacileyo ekuphatheni kwengqondo yomntu kunye nesimo sobuntu bakhe.
Ingxaki inokuthelekiswa nesilonda esivulekile: kukufanelekile ukuphazamisa, kwaye umntu uqala ukuziva engakhululekile kwaye engakhathazekiyo, unokungaxhaswanga, abonise ubugwenxa okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, ukuhoxisa kuye. Ukuphendula okunjalo, kubangelwa yiinkqubo zangaphakathi, kubonakala njengodonga olungabonakali oluvimba indlela yokukhulula, aluvumeli ukuba umntu abe namandla kwaye azimeleyo. Kodwa ke, izakhiwo zineenkcukacha ezichaseneyo: ngakwesinye icala, ngenxa yokuba umntu uhlaselwa kwaye akakwazi ukukhuseleka phambi kwehlabathi elikhulu, kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, izakhiwo ezinokuthi zisebenzise njengento yokuvuselela.
Ukuqulunqwa kwezakhiwo
Kutheni sizama ngamandla ukukrazula iingxaki? Inyaniso kukuba nangomntu ogcwele iintlobo ezahlukeneyo, kuba nzima ukunxibelelana: unokungafanelanga ukuphendula ngamagama kunye nezenzo zabanye abantu. Ngokugqithiseleyo kunokuba, abantu abanenkxalabo baye bandisa ukukrokra, inzondo, ukunganeliseki, ukuzidla, ukukhohlisa ... Kungenxa yoko abanye abantu abayithandi.
Ngokuqhelekileyo iingxaki esiziphetheyo kunye nobomi, zenziwa ziselula. Umzekelo, ukwenzela ukuba umkhwenkwe wakhe enze umyalelo, umama wayehlala ephindaphinda athi: "Unesiqhwala, khangela ukuba yeyiphi ibhodari eqhubekayo egumbini lakho, ukubheka njengento enyanyekayo!" Okanye nonyana, kwakhona, ngenjongo yemfundo bathi: "Kutheni siyisiphukuphuku, saphinda sithatha isicatshulwa semathematika! Thatha umzekelo kwintsebenzo engcono kakhulu kaVasya! " Ukuziphatha okunjalo kubonwa ngabantwana buhlungu kakhulu, kwaye ngexesha elifanelekileyo kukho iingxaki eziphantsi kwezinto eziphantsi, ezithinteka kakhulu kwizinto ezongezelelweyo - ukusebenza kwesikolo, ukungakwazi ukufumana ulwimi oluqhelekileyo kunye noontanga, ukuhlakulela iitalente ezifihlakeleyo kunye nobuchule. Ekuhambeni kwangoko umntu onjalo sele engaqapheli ukuba uzama ukufumana kwaye "ukukrazula iindlebe" zokulungiswa kokutshatyalaliswa kwawo, efuna ukuqinisekiswa ukuba ulahlekile kwaye akakwazi ukwenza nantoni na. Umbuso onjalo unqanda umntu endleleni eya kwimpumelelo yokuphila.
Ubunzima obuphambili kukuba yinkxalabo enkulu, ngenxa yoluphi uphuhliso oluyinkimbinkimbi, lugqityiwe ngokuthe ngcembe kwaye lunyanzeliswe ngaphandle kweminye imicimbi. Ngoko ke, umntu akanako ukudibanisa ukungaphumeleli kwakhe kunye nomthombo oyintloko weengxaki zakhe kunye nesimo esiyinkimbinkimbi. Yaye ukuba awukwazi ukuba uyilwe, ngoko sele usalindelwe ukutshatyalaliswa.
Ukuxhamla
Abo bantu abanenkcenkceshelwano encinci bayaqiniseka ukuba bahamba kakubi kunabanye baze bazimisela ukuhluleka. Bacinga ukuba ukuba "babi", ke akukho nto yokuyithanda, ukuyixabisa nokuyihlonela. Ukufuna uxolo lwangaphakathi kunye nokuphelisa iimvakalelo zabo ezixinzelelekileyo, abantu abanenkcenkcesha ephantsi kokuzama ukuzithuthukisa ngokwabo ngandlela-thile, ukwenza into enhle kwabanye, ngaloo ndlela bazama ukubonakala ebantwini obuhle ngakumbi kwaye babonise ukuba bangcono, kunokuba kunjalo. Kodwa kwenzeka ukuba ukuze kubangele abanye, umntu onjalo uhlala ekhohlisa. Ngaloo ndlela, umntu oqaqambileyo uzama ukubonisa impumelelo yakhe nokuzineliseka kuzo zonke iindawo zobomi. Unokuzama ukuthenga izinto ezibizileyo kuphela, iimoto, iifowuni, nokuba uthe wachitha imali yakhe yokugqibela kubo okanye ukhuphukela kwimali-mboleko; Awukwazi ukuphuma kwindawo yokuzivocavoca kuphela ukuze ubonise abantu abajikelezile biceps zabo ezinzima kwaye babone ukubukeka kwamehlo; unokuziqhayisa ngakwesobunxele nangokunene kwenani lothando lwakhe okanye ukuba uyazi kakuhle umongameli ... Nangona kunjalo, ngokuqhelekileyo umfanekiselo womntu onelaneleyo uyinto nje ye-bluff. Yaye ukuba le ngcamango idibanisa, ubunzima obungaphantsi buya kutyumla kumbala oqaqambileyo kwaye umntu uya kuba neengxaki zokusebenzisana nabanye, umsebenzi kunye nabantu abasondeleyo.
Kwixesha elivisayo, ubunzima obuphantsi kobunzima buvela kubangelwa nayiphi na ingxaki ebonakalayo, ngenxa yokulawulwa komzali onamandla, okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, ngokungaboni ngokwaneleyo umntwana kwiintsapho nabazali kwindawo yokuqala. Impembelelo engebiyo inokugxekwa ngokugqithiseleyo kwentombazana, ukuthotywa kwetyala kwinxalenye yootitshala kunye noontanga, ukuxhatshazwa kwengqondo (umzekelo, ukutshatyalaliswa kwabazali, ukufa kwabathandekayo) abafumene ebuntwaneni. Zonke ezi zihlandlo zingabangela ukunganeliseki nawe, ukuba iziphoso zakho zinokunyanyiswa kakhulu. Oku kukhokelela ekubeni umntwana uqala ukulungiswa ngokusilela kwakhe, ukugqithisa kuye kukhula kuye kwaye kudala sifumana umntu obhekene nobunzima obuphantsi.
I-psychoanalyst yaseJamani u-Alfred Adler, owasebenzisa okokuqala ibinzana elithi "ukungathandabuzeki," wayethanda ukuthi: "Ukuba uthathwa njengomntu opheleleyo, umntu kufuneka abe nobunzima obuphantsi." Kwaye kunjalo ngokwenene. Nangona kunjalo, ukubonakaliswa kwezi ngxaki akuvumeli ukuba umntu aphile ngokuthula naye kwaye athole ukuvumelana. Uyazi njani ukuba unenkcenkcesha ephantsi? Intsimbi yokuqala ingaba nesimo sengqondo esibucayi ngokubonakala kwayo. Ukuba awukwaneliswa yimilo yentloko yakho, ubukhulu bomlomo, ubungakanani bomjikelo, ubude, ubude bempumlo, njl. Kwakhona, ukunganeliseki kwakhe ngesimo sakhe semali, isimo sezenhlalakahle, ukuphumelela kweengcali kubhekisela kubukho bakhe.
Kodwa ininzi la mabhinqa isabandakanyeka ngokukodwa ngokubonakala kwayo. Imilinganiselo yamanamhlanje yobuhle, esiyibonayo kumaphephancwadi amacwecwe, iimpapasho zentengiso, izikrini zeTV, ukunyanzela abafazi abaninzi ukuba bacinge ukuba abafezekanga. Nangona ukukhulisa ubunzima obungaphantsi kwesiqingatha esinobubomi besintu sinako kunye nesigxina sabo sesibini, xa kunokuba kunzima ukuthetha ngamabhinqa. Isiphumo saloo mibhobho ingaba, umzekelo, ukunyamezela ukupompa imilomo yakho okanye ukwenza isifuba ubuncinane obukhulu obukhulu.
Inkathazo enzima
Ukuba umntu unenkathazo enjalo, ngoko ukholelwa ukuba ubomi bakhe bubi kunokuba bube bubi. Ukuphazamisa ezi ngcamango nokuzikhusela, unokunamathela kwiimbono kunye nezigqibo ezamnceda ukuba abe nefuthe. "Makhe ndingabi nako ukwenza umsebenzi kwaye ndibe ngabahlobo, kodwa ndingowesizwe esikhulu esincinci." I-Logic, kufuneka kuphawulwe, ayikho into encane, kwaye iingxabano zokuba zilungele ukungenwa kwayo, azixhomekekanga, kodwa i-complexity does not need to be disposed of, kwaye ukungahlambuluki kwengqondo kwayo kunokuqhubeka nokuqhathanisa nokuxabisa.
Inkomfa ye-infantilism
Abanikazi bezi nkathazo abafuni ukucinga ngeengxaki zabantu abadala. Abayithandi ukwenza izigqibo baze bathathe uxanduva kubo. Ayikho yonke iimeko ezizimeleyo, ezidla ngokubangela ubunzima ekujonganeni nesini esahlukileyo kunye nabanye abantu. Ngokomzekelo, kudla ukuba kwenzeka ukuba ukutywala kunye nokutywala utywala ngumphumo wale ngxaki. Emva kwakho konke, ukuzilawula ekudleni okanye ukuyeka ngexesha lokusela utywala, kufuneka ube ngumntu oqolileyo ngokwaneleyo, kwaye ungaziphathe njengomntwana omncinci, onokuthi, nangona naliphi ithuba, unomdla wokuzikhupha.
Iimeko ezikhethekileyo
Ngamanye amaxesha oogqirha baxilonga kubaxhasi babo kwiinkqubo zokuzaliseka ngokugqithiseleyo (ukupheleliswa ngokugqithiseleyo), xa umntu omnye edibanisa ukuzikhukhumeza nokuzikhukhumeza. "Kunqabile ukufumana umntu onengqiqo kunokuba yena!" - ngamanye amaxesha uthetha uhlobo, yena ngokwakhe ongenabunqabileyo kunye nokungazi. Abantu abanjalo bahlala becinga ukuba bayazi kakuhle izinto ezilungileyo kubo, kwaye baqiniseke ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba iingcebiso zeengcali azifanelekanga, kuba akukho nto ikwazi ukugqibelela, ngokuthe ngqo, ayimfuneko. Ngokuqhelekileyo kukho inkathazo yabampofu, inyanzelisa indoda, kungakhathaliseki ukuba isityebi nobutyebi kangakanani, ukuzama ukufumana izinto eziphathekayo, ukuzibuthelela ngaphaya komlinganiselo kwaye ngelo xesha ziba nekratshi kwaye zibuhlungu.
Ukungabikho kwezakhiwo
Ityala xa kunzima ukungabikho. Emva koko, ke umntu akanalo umnqweno kwaye ufuna ukuphucula nokuphuhlisa. Kutheni utshintshile into kuwe, jongela into efanelekileyo, ukuba konke kulungile nawe? Ngoko, ukuba uyavuya kakhulu kuwe, cinga nje: ngaba ulungile? Mhlawumbi kukufanele uzijonge ngokucacileyo.