Ngokuqhelekileyo unokufumana uluvo lokuba ukuba indoda inenkosikazi, isizathu esona sizathu kukuba umfazi akahambisani naye ngesondo. Ngokuqhelekileyo kukho inyaniso kule nto, kodwa kungeyiyo yonke inyaniso. Imiba eyahlukeneyo eyenza abantu "baye ngasekhohlo" baninzi. Oku kungabikho ukulahlekelwa ngumdla, kunye nomnqweno wokudibanisa ubomi babo, kunye nesisa. Indoda inokuyichukumisa ekungcatshweni komnqweno wokubonakalisa into kwabanye, umzekelo, kubahlobo bakhe, abathanda "ukuya ngakwesobunxele." Isizathu sisenokukhutshwa kakubi okanye indlela engafanelekanga yokuziphatha eyayizuzwa yindoda evela kuyise owayengcatsha unina. Indoda ingaba ngumntu osisigxina somfazi, ohamba ngasemva kweengubo zonke, isizathu sokuphinda siphinde sibe semfundo, indawo engqongileyo njalonjalo. Utshintsho lunokubangela utywala obuqhelekileyo phambi kobuhle bomhlaba. Kwakhona, impembelelo embi yoluntu ibalulekile, kuba ngoku inqanaba loxanduva liwela, kwaye izinga lokuzingca kunye nokunyaniseka luya phezulu. Ukongezelela, asifanele sikhohlwe ngempembelelo ethile yethelevishini, i-intanethi, i-gloss kunye nezinye iindaba.
Kodwa kukho konke oko, ithuluzi eliphambili lokungcatsha liyingqondo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba ukukrakra ngezinto abantu bacinga ngenyani, ukunyeliswa kuzalwe entloko, kwingqondo. Indoda, kwimeko yethu indoda, isonakalisa ngamabomu izithintelo kunye nemigaqo kwaye iya kuhlambalaza. Emva koko uxela umfazi wakhe, utywala, ubomi kunye nokunye, izinto. Ngamanye amagama, ifuna isizathu. Kumele kukhunjulwe ukuba umntu ungumntu ofanelekileyo, ngoko ke, ukuba uyazikhusela, ngoko uxanduva lo msebenzi.
Iyintoni ingcambu yengxaki? Kutheni amadoda enokugxeka ngokusisigxina? Indima yentlalo yomntu ihluke ngokukodwa kwendima yabesifazane, ngoko ke kuluntu kuluntu. Ngokomzekelo, sivame ukuva oku okulandelayo: indoda isondlo, amadoda ayalili, indoda kufuneka ibe yenkxaso nenkxaso yentsapho yakhe, indoda kufuneka ibe namandla, kufuneka ibe ngummeli kunye nokunye okuninzi. Oku kunjalo njalo, kwaye amadoda ngokwawo ayazi oku. Kodwa ngokuzeleyo, baqonda indima yabo yentlalontle ngokuqhelekileyo sele isele emtshatweni. Oku kungenxa yokuba, ukuba sele ungene kumtshato wentsapho, indoda ayifanele ixanduva layo kuphela, kodwa nangenxa yomfazi kunye nabantwana bayo. Kumele abe ngumntu ofanayo wokutya, umkhuseli, inkxaso, kunye nabantwana - njengotitshala, umzekelo wokulingisa. Indoda igcwele isiqhelo semisebenzi emitsha.
Ngaloo ndlela, amadoda athile angayiqondi ukuba ngumthwalo wembopheleleko owenza uxinzelelo kubo, kwaye ngandlela-thile bayesaba konke oku, okuqinisekileyo, akuthethi.
Emva koko kudlula ixesha, loo mntu ufikelele ekuvuthweni kwaye sele eziva eqina kakhulu, eselula kwaye enomdla. Yaye le nguqulelo oluqhelekileyo kwinqanaba lobomi. Endaweni yolutsha olushushu luza nezinye, imigaqo ekhulileyo kunye nemigxina, izinto eziphambili kunye nezinto ezixabisekileyo. Indoda ithola enye into - intsapho, izinto eziphathekayo kunye nentlalo yoluntu, umsebenzi oqinileyo, ukwandisa umgangatho wakhe wengqiqo, uqina ngakumbi, kwaye njalo njalo. Kodwa ukuba umntu, ekhangele ngasemva, uyaqonda ukuba akanayo into yokuziqhayisa, ukuba akafumananga nantoni na into, ukuba uyazisola kakhulu, ngoko kunzima kakhulu ukusinda kweli nqanaba. Ukuba umntu ubona amathuba alahlekileyo, ixesha elilahlekileyo, umsebenzi ozondwayo ngomvuzo ophantsi kunye nokunye, ke apha iingxaki ziqala. Indoda iqala ukuvakalelwa kukuba ayizange ibe khona njengomntu okanye njengomntu, kwaye inxalenye ebhetele yobomi sele isemva kwayo. Apha kwaye kukho iingcinezelo kunye neengxaki. Le ngxaki yenkqubela phambili (iminyaka engama-30-40), xa amadoda esoloko ehlala ebeka iingxaki. Umfana, uthi, iminyaka engama-25 ubudala, athambekele ekungcatshweni, unokukhetha ukhetho olufutshane.
Ngoko, ukuzibonakalisa yena kunye noluntu ukuba uyindoda "ebomini bomi bakhe," kwaye ukuhlawulela ukungabikho okanye ukungabikho kwamanye iimpawu kunye nempumelelo yakhe, indoda ingenza ikosikazi engunaphakade. Kwaye ke indoda engathembekanga ivakalelwa yincinci kwaye ishukumisa ngakumbi, inomtsalane kwaye iyabonakala, njengokuba yayisemncinci.
Kwaye, mncinci inkosikazi, incinci indoda ivakalelwa, iphakamileyo ukuzithemba kwayo.
Le ndoda ibona iimvakalelo ezintsha, eziqatha kwaye zizonandipha. Kwaye ukuvakalelwa kokubili ngokwesondo nangokomzwelo. Kuye, kuba yintsikelelo, isiqhamo esinqatshelwe. Kwakhona, indoda iyazibonakalisa amandla akhe ngokwesini kunye nobuchule bakhe besondo.
Ukongezelela, kumntu wenkosikazi, umntu ufumana umphulaphuli othobelekileyo. Uyamxhasa, unokuthetha ngeengcamango zakhe neemvakalelo zakhe, kwaye akayi kugweba.
Yintoni enye ephosa amadoda ukuba athole inkosikazi engunaphakade? Ekhaya, ubudlelwane buninzi, ubomi, iingxaki zobomi zichaphazela. Kubonakala kumyeni ongathembekanga ukuba umfazi wakhe udla ukukhala, ufumanisa, akayiqondi, akayixhasi. Inkosikazi kumntu - uhlobo lweeholide. Uhlala ephulaphula kwaye exhasa, unothando kwaye unothando.
Esinye isizathu - umfazi uyeka ukuzamekela ngokwakhe, uye wazithumela. Umninimzi udibana nomntu omhle, onomtsalane kunye kunye nokuzenzela. Ngaphezu koko, iimvakalelo ezidlulileyo phakathi kwabatshatileyo zenze indlela yokwahlula kunye nokulinganisana, ngakumbi njengobungane kunothando. Ubomi bentlobano buye buba yincinci, yintsholongwane kwaye idibeneyo, ukukhangwa kwancipha.
Okanye mhlawumbi umyeni wam nje wawa ngothando, ngelishwa, kwenzeka. Kodwa kule meko, ngokuqhelekileyo yinto enyanisekileyo yokwenza inxaxheba, nangona kukho abantwana. Umntwana uya kukhula ngakumbi xa abazali beyamthanda, kodwa bahlala ngokuhlukileyo kunokuba bahlala kunye, kodwa bazondana.
Okanye umyeni wakhe ungumfazi womfazi! Kodwa apha sele sele, njengoko besithi, "ingcwaba elixhambileyo liya kulungisa". Umfazi onjalo unokuba ngumcebisi kunye nomhle, kodwa yonke into ayaneleyo kuye, uyazifakazela.
Ukuba ibhinqa ifuna ukugcina intsapho evuya, kufuneka azame ukuqonda umyeni wakhe, acinge ngoluvo lwakhe, iimfuno, iimvakalelo. Kubalulekile ukuhlala ngumntu onomdla kunye nomfazi okhangayo. Ubomi bobulili obuzeleyo kunye nokuzonwabisa okudibeneyo kudlala indima ebaluleke kakhulu.
Ubomi, ewe, yinto enzima. Yaye imeko iyahluke. Kodwa amadoda abizwa ngesondo esinamandla, oko kuthetha ukuba ukuziphatha kwabo kufuneka babe nesibindi kwaye bazinze, izenzo zilinganiswe. Ukuba kukho iingxaki kwiintsapho - kufuneka zixazululwe, ukuba iingxaki azidluli - mhlawumbi kufuneka uqhawule umtshato. Oku, ubuncinci, ngokunyanisekileyo, ngokungafani nokuhamba okujikelezayo ukusuka kwelinye ibhinqa ukuya kwelinye kunye nezizathu ezilungeleyo zokuziphatha kwakhe. Ngoku uyazi ukuba kutheni indoda esatshatileyo ifumana inkosikazi engunaphakade.