Kuthetha ukuthini ukwenza uthando ephupheni?
Ukubhaliweyo okubaluleke kakhulu kwesondo ephuphayo kukuba ukwabonakalisa kakuhle ukungabikho kwemvakalelo yobomi bokwenene okanye unento enomdla onesondo. Ukuchonga ngokuchanekileyo ukuba lithini ibali, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ixesha elibalulekileyo kwimemori: ngubani na olingane naye (ongumphambukeli, okhethiweyo okwangoku, owaziwayo, owayedlulile), yintoni uvakalelwa ngayo xa ulala (ukuzonwabisa okanye ukunyaniseka)?
Ngoko, ngokutsho kweencwadi zokuphupha, ukulala ngesondo kuthetha ukuguquka kwezinto ezinqwenelekayo okanye iiminqweno, ongazivumeli ukuba zizaliseke ngokubhekiselele kwimigaqo yakho yokuziphatha, ebudeni bobuncinci obubekwa yindlela yokukhulisa kunye neengcamango ezizungezile. Ukuba ukholelwa utolikaji we-Italian psychologist uRobert, ubudlelwane bezesondo ephupheni bubonakalisa ukufihla, iimfuno ezidityanisiweyo zokuzikhukhumeza. Kubafazi, eli phupha libonisa into efanelekileyo kwaye ibaluleke gqitha.
Ukongezelela, ukufumana ulonwabo, kuthetha ukuba ngobomi bokwenene uya kufutshane ukwazi umntu onomdla wobulili obuhlukile. Ukuvuswa ngexesha lesondo kwiphupha kungabonisa ukukhathazeka kwengqondo okanye imfundo engalunganga ngokwesondo.
Ukuba uphupha ngesondo nomfokazi, ngoko uthetha ngokukhawuleza ukufumanisa ubudlelwane kunye nabanyulwa bakho bokwenene. Kungenzeka ukuba lo mntu akahambisani nawe ngokukhawuleza, okanye awuhambisani nemvelo. Kwakhona emva kokuphupha, unokulindela ukuncoma kumntu omhle. Kungenzeka ukuba kungekudala uza kufumana isipho esivela kumbulelo wemfihlelo.
Kutheni sifuna ukulala ngesondo nomntu?
Kwindoda, eli phupha alikho nto ithetha ukuba yinto yobuncinane besini, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo ibonisa ukubonakala kwemilayezo engalindelekanga kunye nokuhamba ngokukhawuleza. Ukuvuyela ephupheni kunye nomnye umntu uguqulelwa njengokuba ungumchasi ebomini bokwenene. Akumangalisi ukuba uhlanga oluqhubekayo lokuphakama lithatha umphuphi amandla kunye nemali. Jongela amandla akho kwisiteshi esiluncedo.
Isiqingatha sesibini ephupheni sokwenza intombazana nentombazana, ifuzisela ubunzima obukhawulezayo obunxulumene nomsebenzi. Ukongeza, emva kwebali eli, unokulindela ukuthuthela kwesinye isixeko. Kungenzeka ukuba utshintsho lweendawo zokuhlala luya kudibaniswa nokudluliselwa komsebenzi okanye ukunganeliseki ngokweenqweno.
Njengoko uyakubona, ukulala ngesondo akusoloko kubonakalisa nayiphi na utshintsho kwixesha elizayo. Ngokuqhelekileyo oku kuthetha ngeziganeko zangaphakathi, ngamanye amaxesha kubakho ukungqubuzana nobuntu bokwenene kunye nokuziphatha kwezentlalo. Inhlanhla kunye namaphupha amnandi!