Ixesha lokudla lidla ngokudlala imidlalo ekhohlakeleyo, sinokunyanzelisa ukuba sikhethe phakathi kwothando kunye nomsebenzi, phakathi kweminqweno yomphefumlo kunye nesizathu esihle, phakathi kwendoda engathandekiyo nendoda ethandekayo. Abasetyhini abajongene nobomi obunjalo, intliziyo igxothwe kwisiqingatha. Isiqingatha esinye sifuna ukugcina ubudlelwane nomyeni wakhe, abo babophelela kubo imbopheleleko yabo, abantwana, impahla, imemori yothando oludlulileyo kunye nokunqoba kunye kunye nemihlali. Yaye enye iyancwina ngothando olutsha ngomnye umntu ozalisa ubomi kunye nenjongo yokwenza ikamva elivuyisayo. Intloko ihamba! Ngubani oza kumvumela? Intliziyo yothando okanye ingqondo engqondweni? Indlela yokwenza isigqibo kunye nokwenza ntoni ukuze imiphumo yokukhetha ingayi kuba yintlungu?
1. Ukuchonga iimfuno
Ukuqonda imeko iya kunceda uhlalutyo olubhaliweyo lweemfuno, eziphunyeziweyo emtshatweni kunye nasebudlelwaneni nomntu othandekayo.
Uluhlu lwe "Yintoni endigcinayo kwintsapho?"
Umzekelo:
- ukuzinza kwemali (izindlu, imali, njl.);
- thuzelo lwengqondo kumntwana oya kukhula kwintsapho epheleleyo;
- ukuqonda nje ngokuba "ngumama wentsapho";
- ukuqikelela kokuziphatha kwazo zonke iintsapho;
- inkxaso yentsapho echaphazelayo okanye abahlobo bentsapho;
- ukuhambisana nesondo kunye nomyeni wakhe, njl.
Uluhlu lwe "Yintoni endiyifumana ngayo ubudlelwane nendoda endithandayo?"
Umzekelo:
- uthando, olubonakaliswa ngokuthinta isisa kunye nothando;
- ukuvakalelwa kobaluleka kunye nobodwa;
- ukunonyamekela nokunyamekela;
- inkxaso, uncedo, ukuthatha inxaxheba ngokuthandana;
- ngongoma;
- iintyatyambo nezipho;
- ngokwesini, njl
Ngokwahlukileyo, unokwenza uludwe lweempawu ezilungileyo zomyeni kunye nomthandi. Ukulungiswa kwiphepha lamaphepha onke "iingcebiso" ekusebenzelaneni kwabo kuzo kukuvumela ukuba ubone umfanekiso ocacileyo wento eya kufuneka ilahleke ngokwenza isigqibo sokwenza inxaxheba kunye neqabane lakho okanye othandekayo.
2. Fumana iinjongo ezilungileyo
Kule nqanaba, kubalulekile ukucacisa ukuba umnqweno wokutshabalalisa ubomi obudala ukhokelwa uluthando lokwenene, kungekhona ngumnqweno wokuhlawulela oko ulwalamano lwangaphambili alubaniki. Apha uya kufuneka ube ngongqinileyo kwaye uthembeke kunye nawe, ukulungisa iingxabano zangaphakathi ezikukhusela ukuba ungaboni inyaniso. Yaye inyaniso kukuba akukho namadoda abalungileyo okanye ababi, abathandekayo kunye neentsapho ezingenasiphelo. Kukho nawuphi na ulwalamano olutsha sisithatha kwi-yangaphambili-engavumiyo, engenakuqhathaniswa, efuna ukuzingca, ukuzincama, njl, njl njl. Sizama ukwakha entsha kwiindawo ezinokuthi zingabonakaliyo kwiindawo zethu zokwesaba, iingxaki, amava. Siyakulibala ukuqwalasela "ingqondo" yothando, "ephila iminyaka emithathu", ize iguquke ibe ngumhlobo okanye umkhwa, apho ufuna ukubalekela olwalamano olutsha.
3. Qaphela uhlobo lomncintiswano wenxantathu
Ingxenye yesithathu ebuhlotsheni babini ibonakala xa ezinye zeemfuno zinganelisekanga (inkxaso, ukukhuselwa, isisa, isondo, imali, njl.). Kwaye kungakhathaliseki ukuba i-paradoxical ityandi, i-"kona yesithathu" ibinceda rhoqo ukusindisa intsapho ewele kwiinkathazo zobudlelwane. Iingxaki ebomini bentsapho ngenxa yaloo nto kunye neengxaki, eziza kwenza uluhlu lweemvakalelo, ziphinde zihlolisise ubudlelwane kunye nokubeka phambili. Kwaye le "yesithathu eyongezelelweyo" iyadingeka nje ukuqonda ukusilela kwaye uzama ukuzalisa ubudlelwane nomyeni kunye nemvakalelo kunye nemvakalelo elahlekileyo. Mhlawumbi oku kuya kufuneka u tyelele intsapho yengqondo. Kodwa ngokusoloko kuxabisa ukuba unike intsapho ithuba "lokuzalwa kwakhona emlonyeni."
4. Khupha "amanzi amnandi" uthando olutsha
Umdla oshukumisa ingqondo kunye nobunzima bokugcina ulondolozo luthando ludla ngokusenza lukhuni, luyimfama kwaye luyizithulu. Iimvakalelo ezinomdla ziphazamisa ukuvavanya ngokucacileyo umntu kunye nemeko. Kwaye kwandipha ingqondo "iiglasi ezinemibala ephakamileyo" ukunyanisekisa isithunzi somntu othandekayo, kwaye ngokumangalisayo ukunciphisa iimpawu zakhe ezimbi kuze kube sekupheleni. Ukongezelela, i-aura yolonwabo olulungileyo yenziwa yimeko efanayo "yentshontshi" uthando - iintlanganiso ezinqabileyo nezingavumelekanga kunye nokungahambi kakuhle, kunye nokungazibopheleli, ubomi obuqhelekileyo kunye neengxaki ezingabonakaliyo kwintsapho entsha. Ngako oko, musa ukukhawuleza ukufikelela kwizigqibo malunga nothando lokwenene nomntu omtsha, ukuba ubuhlobo abuzange bube buhlungu kubuhlungu kunye novuyo.
5. Hlola iimvakalelo zombini
Uthando olunyanisekileyo, unokujonga kuphela ngokubonisa ukunyamekela kwakho, okokuba amadoda aya kuthetha ngongoma kulwalamano. Indoda enothando iyamkela naluphi na ukhetho lomfazi, kuba uthando lokwenene alukwazi ukuzingca. Uya kukwazi ukufumana amandla okuvumela loo ntokazi ukuba ihambe apho iya kuba nolonwabo ngokwenene kwaye uyakwazi ukusinda intlungu yento engekho nayo. Yaye akayi kukutshintsha ityala kunye noxanduva lwakhe kuphela kumagxa akhe. Xa ukuwa kwethando kuhlale kubeka ityala kubo bobabini. Indoda exabisa intsapho yakhe iya kuthetha ukulungela kwakhe ukutshintsha nokuzalisa ubudlelwane kunye nencazelo entsha, iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo. Uya kwenza konke ukuvumela umlingane ukuba ahlale, kwaye xa kunjalo, kukuthelekisa kuphela kwaye uqonde ukuba indoda engcono ayikho. Indoda endiyithandayo, ukuba ngokwenene ukulungele ukudala intsapho, iya kubonisa ngezenzo ukuba umngcipheko wesifazane ulungile kwaye akaze azisole ngokukhetha kwakhe. Omnye wabantu abaya kuba mnyama, abuyisele ukuzithemba, ukuhlazeka kunye nokulimala, ukusebenzisa iindlela ezingcolileyo, akufanelekanga ukuchitha ixesha nayiphi na into, akuyi kuzisola, kungekhona nothando.