Akumangalisi ukuba amantombazana acinga ngale nto, ngenxa yokuba intsapho ecebileyo ithatha umkhwekazi ompofu incike kwi "mozulu" endlwini kunye nolwalamano kunye nentanda yakhe. Ukuze uqikelele indlela intombazana eya kwamkela ngayo intsapho, kufuneka ukwazi kakuhle indlela abantu abaye bafezekisa ngayo isimo sabo, kuba oku kunempembelelo ebonakalayo kubantu abanemali encinane.
Ngoko, mhlawumbi abazali bomntu othandekayo baye bafikelela kwindawo yabo kwintlalo nobutyebi ngokwabo. Kule meko, baninzi, abanakuze bacinezele baze bahlasele umkhwekazi ongekhoyo. Ngokuchaseneyo, loo ntsapho ihlala izama ukuxhasa nokunceda. Kodwa, bayaqinisekisa ukuba umfazi wonyana wabo ngokwakhe ufuna into ethile. Gcina nje umalokazana wabo, abayi kuze kubekho. Inyani kukuba abazali bakho bekwenkwenkwe nabo baya kwinjongo. Bakuba befana nawe kwaye bayazi ukuba akukho nto yokugweba intombazana ehlwempu. Abazali babo babenako ukubenzela ubomi obuhle, kodwa baqhubeka bebathanda, kuba uvuyo alukho kwimali. Ngenxa yoko, abayi kuze balawule intsapho yakho, baya kwamkela kwaye bancede. Inyaniso yokuba awutyebileyo, akubalulekanga kubungakanani bemilinganiselo yabo, ngokubhekiselele kuwo ukuba bayayithanda ukuba bathanda umntu. Loo ntsapho iya kwamkela isikhundla sakho kwaye ayiyi kubagweba abazali bakho ngeempahla ezilula okanye imeko kwindlu. Ngoko ungakhathazeki kakhulu. Ngaphezu koko, emva kokuba bonke bevusile unyana onokuyithandana nentombazana ehlwempu, engayithobeli ingqalelo njengempahla, iimpahla kunye neempahla eziphathekayo. Ngoku, okubaluleke kakhulu, musa ukubadumaza. Ukuba ubonisa ukuba imali ibalulekile kuwe, abazali bafana baya kudana. Abantu abanjalo abaqondi ukuxelela abanye, kodwa kungekhona nalabo bafuna ukuhlala kwiindleko zabo. Oku kulungile, akusiyo into yokuba le ntsapho isebenze kanzima ebomini bam, kodwa ngoku umntu ufuna nje ukhululeke kwaye ukhululekile, ngaphandle kokwenza umgudu. Akunjalo, abafuni ngokuqinisekileyo umkhwenyana onobuqili kunye nentombi. Ngenxa yoko, baya kuchasa umtshato wakho. Kodwa, apha ukuba ubonisa ukuba awukhathaleli nonke, ucebile njani intsapho yintanda yakho, kwaye, ngokubaluleke kakhulu, uyonwabile ngobomi bakho kwaye ungagxininisi kwimali, yonke into iya kuhluka. Khawukhumbule ukuba kufuneka ubonise isinyathelo kwaye ubonise ukuba ufuna into ethile. Emva koko intsapho ayiyi kwamkela kuphela, kodwa iya kunceda. Kodwa musa ukuqala ukusebenzisa ububele babo. Abantu abathi, ngokwabo, bathetha baphuma kubantu, baziva ngokucacileyo apho inyaniso, kwaye apho kukho ubuxoki kwaye banakho ukukwazi ukukhupha. Ngoko ke, ukuba uqala ukungabi nantoni, baya kukubonisa ngokukhawuleza indawo. Ngaphandle koko, uya kuba ngumntu ongowokuzalwa ongeke azisole ngazo.
Kodwa, indlela yokusebenza kwimeko xa intsapho yakho yowesoka inayo imeko yayo ayikho isizukulwana sokuqala kwaye isiqhelanise ukujonga phantsi kwabo bahluphekileyo. Kwimeko apho, uya kuthi kube nzima kunzima. Kodwa, ke, ungayeki kwaye uzibeke phantsi emehlweni abo. Khumbula ukuba uhlala uhlwempuzekile, kodwa unomnqweno. Ngoko ungaba neentloni ngeendawo zakho zentlalo kunye nosapho lwakho. Kananjalo ungazivumeli uhlaziswe. Mhlawumbi abazali bafana bajonge nje ukuba babone ukuba uyamlinganisa kwaye unokuyisebenzisa kwiindawo eziphakamileyo zoluntu. Kwakhona, bafuna ukwazi ukuba ufuna ukufumana imali kuphela kwiimeko zabo. Yiba nomonde, kodwa ungavumeli ukugxeka, ukuba akukho sizathu. Ukongezelela, kwiintsapho ezinjalo kukho ukukhuliswa kakuhle. Abayinyamezeli intombazana esitratweni, eya kuhlazisa iintsapho zabo. Ukuba uthe wanquma ukuba yinxalenye yentsapho, kufuneka ube ngumfazi wenene. Nangona ungasetyenziswanga kwaye awukwazi ukuba njani.
Kufuneka ukuba ufunde, ngaphandle koko abazali bomntu othandekayo abayi kuze bakuqonde kwaye bakwamkele. Nangona kunjalo, akufuneki kubekho imfazwe kwintsapho. Khumbula ukuba aba bantu, nokuba yintoni eyoyiyo, bayona bathandekayo kwaye bathandekayo kwiqabane lakho. Ngoko ke, ukuba uyaphikisana nomnye, intsha yakho iya kuqala ukukhathazeka ngayo. Kodwa awufuni ukumzisa intlungu kunye nosizi. Yingakho, zama ukwenza oko bafuna ukuba ube khona. Kodwa, ukuba uyaqonda ukuba iimfuno zabo zihamba ngaphaya komgaqo-mvume owamkelekileyo, iimpawu kunye nokuziphatha, akufuneki ukuba uthule. Ekugqibeleni, weza kwintsapho yabo kungekhona njengomkhonzi, kodwa njengomntu opheleleyo, ongekho mntu ufanele aphephe. Zama ukukhumbula oku kwaye ungazivumeli ukuba uhlaziswe, kwaye, ngakumbi, intsapho yakho. Khumbula ukuba abantu abalahla abazali babo, ngokuqinisekileyo abayi kubangela ukuhlonipha nanini kwaye akukho mntu.
Ukuba uqonda ukuba ubudlelwane phakathi kwakho neentsapho zenkwenkwe azinakongezi, kuyona nto ingcono ukunciphisa unxibelelwano kumncinci. Xoxa ngale nsizwa yakho. Kungenzeka ukuba uya kukuqonda kwaye akuxhase. Into ephambili kukuba yonke into ayiboni ngathi ukuba uzama ukumkhawulelana naye kwintsapho kwaye ulungiselele abazali bakhe. Makhe axoxe nabo, uyamthanda kwaye uyamxhasa, kodwa akavumeli ukuba akhulume ngawe embi. Kwakhona, musa ukuthatha izipho ezivela kubazali balo mfana okanye naluphi na uncedo. Ukuba uyenzayo, mhlawumbi banokukwenza uzive ubophekile kubo. Ngoko ke, zama ukwenza konke wena kwaye ungawavumeli ukuba aphazamise ubomi bakho. Ukuba abantu bagweba abanye kuphela ngemali yemali kwikhredithi yabo, abanako ukuphakamisa intlonelo kumntu oqhelekileyo. Ngoko ke, musa ukulingana nemibono yabantu abanjalo.
Yiba nje ubalahle kwaye uzame ukuphepha iingxabano. Isithandwa sakho akufanele sicinge ukuba nguwe omele uxolo, kwaye ngoku uchitha ubuhlobo bakhe nabazali bakhe. Yiba nengqiqo kwaye ungalokothi uyixoxe. Emva koko umntu ngokwakhe uya kuqonda ukuba ngubani othe tye kwaye ngubani ongekho. Kodwa, nangayiphi na imeko, kungakhathaliseki ukuba abazali bakuphatha njani, qho khumbula ukuba ubuhlobo obaluleke kakhulu buhlobo phakathi kwakho nomthandayo. Yaye yonke into ayibalulekanga kakhulu.