Amaphephancwadi aqaqambileyo ngaphandle kokwesaba nokuhlambalaza ngokukhululekileyo izibonelelo zesini zesithathu kunye, okanye uqonde ngokupheleleyo zonke iingenelo kunye nezilungelelaniso zezidumbisi. Phantse wonke umntwana osenkulangazi uyazi ukuba ziphi iintsuku ezibucayi, njani kunye nantoni ukukhusela ekukhulelweni okungafunekiyo.
Sonke sikhululiwe, asisayi kudibana negama lesini, ipeni, ukuphinga. Ukuqonda ngesondo kuya kutshintsha. Ngaba kulungile, ngaba isimo sengqondo sokuphila ubomi obusondeleyo sitshintshile kakhulu? Ngokuqhelekileyo, ngoku umbuzo uxoxwa ukuba isondo singenzeka kuphela emva komtshato.
Kwaye kunomdla, nangona ukwazisa ngokubanzi kunye nokufunda nokulala ngesondo, kukho abantu abanomdla wokungcwaliswa kwentombi. Aba bantu banamathela kwimilinganiselo eqinile, balinda ngentshiseko isiko somtshato; abantu abanokwenene, abanokholo abangavumeli ukuba nobuhlobo obusondeleyo ngaphambi komtshato. Inxalenye enkulu yabantu, kholelwa ukuba kwihlabathi lethu lanamhlanje, oku akunakwenzeka, akunakwenzeka kwaye akukho mntu ufuna.
Abaxhasi bobudlelwane bobuqhetseba, bekhusela imfundiso yabo, bathembela ukuba esi siko asizange sikhuphe ngokukhawuleza. Sekude kubekholelwa ukuba intombazana ngaphambi komtshato ingenasici. Ngolu hlobo, umtshato ngokwawo uba ngumcimbi obaluleke ngakumbi, kunokuba abo bahlala bekhululekile. Mhlawumbi kukho isivuno esilungileyo kulo, kodwa umbuzo usalokhu uphikisana.
Ukuba ukhumbule onke amaxesha amaninzi ahloniphekileyo "amaneminyaka ubudala," mangaphi isibini esitshatileyo esidlale umtshato wokuthandana? Isimo sengqondo somtshato sasigxininiso nangona ingxabano. Ndiza kucaphula umhlobo ngeposi kunye ne-PI Tchaikovsky, uBaroness von Meck: "Ndijonge umtshato njengento engenakukuphepheka engenakukuphepha, ngoko ke konke okuseleyo kukukhetha okulungileyo." Akukho gqabaza. Njengomthetho, abamele "ukwakha izindlu" ngokubanzi bayayinqabela inceba yobundlobongela beentlobano zesini, bachaza oku kubalulekile ukuba baphathe isondo kuphela njengendlela yokuqhubela phambili i-genus. Enyanisweni, bayathula ukuba ukungabi nobuntombi-le ngenye yezindlela ezinamandla kakhulu zokubopha ngengqondo kumntu. Ewe, ithetha ukuba elinye lamalingani, ngokungafihli - indoda, sele ikwazi ukuba nolwalamano olusondeleyo. Mhlawumbi, ekubeni isondo sokuqala nesinikwa ngumfazi sisoloko sihamba kunye nentlungu, kuyisikhumbuzo esongezelelweyo kuye kwendima ebalulekileyo yamadoda. Enyanisweni, konke oku kuthethwa. Kodwa asiyibeki injongo yokufikelela enyanisweni. Ndifuna nje ukuhlaziya isini emva komtshato.
Ngoku ke kulutsha lwanamhlanje kukho ukuthambekela, ngokukodwa phakathi kwamantombazana, enye imfashini yokuhlanzeka. Okungakumbi kwiimidiya, sifumana iinkcazo ukuba amantombazana enenjongo yokuqala ubudlelwane bezesondo kuphela emva komtshato. Apha, iinjongo kunye neenjongo zihlala zingachazwanga. Iyintoni isiseko sale nkolelo kunye nenkolelo? Yintoni eyathintela lo khetho: iinkolelo zonqulo, ukukhuliselwa kweentsapho eziqinileyo, iinkolelo zomntu kunye neempawu zobuqu malunga nokuziphatha ngokwesondo ngokubanzi. Okanye mhlawumbi kungumvuzo kwifashoni, okanye umnqweno oqhelekileyo wokutsala, ngoko ke, ukuba uziqwalasele.
Ngaba loo ntombazana icinga malunga nento eya kwenzeka emva komtshato? Ngaba uya kuvuyela emtshatweni nomntu owawuthandayo kuphela ngeli xesha i-platonic? Ngabo abo bangenakuqiniseka ngokuchanekileyo ngokuchaneka kokukhethwa komtshato ngaphambi kokutshata, yonke into iyacaca. Amandla okholo lwawo alubavumeli ukuba bacinge ngezo zinto ezinjengeentlondi. Kwaye, nanko ukuqonda "ulonwabo" ngokwayo kuyahluke kakhulu kubantu ababiza ubungqina obukhululekile. Asiyi kuba ngabakhohlisi, kutheni sizifihla ukuba akukho zinzuzo ezingenakuthenjwa ngenxa yokuba ngaphambi kokuba abaqabane bomtshato baxhamle. Emva koko, ebomini babo, ngaphandle kwothando kunye nothando, kwakukho isondo kuphela, kungekhona ukugaya indlu. Sekule nqanaba bazanazana, baqonda kwaye benza izigqibo ezifanelekileyo -kuba ngaba kuyimfuneko ukuhamba ngakumbi kwaye ubeke umcimbi emtshatweni. Le nto inzuzo: ayiyi kuba yintsapho eyonakalisiweyo, abantwana abahluphekileyo abalahliweyo.
Ngoku umbuzo: ulwabelana ngesondo emva komtshato, sinokuphendula ngokungaqinisekanga. Kwenzeka! Ndifuna ukwenza enye inqaku elincinci malunga nomgangatho wesini esifanelekileyo. Khawucinge ukuba umtshato usuphelile, ngaphambi kobusuku bokuqala bomtshato obungaqondakaliyo. Ewe, ukuba konke kuhamba kakuhle. Kwaye ukuba umntu uyaba lusizi: umfazi omtsha ongeyena unelisekile, kwaye uninzi lufundisa bonke ubulumko besondo abufuni. Kwaye awukwazi ukuqasha ootitshala apha. Isiphelo: nokuba yinkosikazi, okanye umtshato, okanye bonke ndawonye. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, sinomfazi oselula. Kungenzeka ukuba ngokukhawuleza, emva kokuba umtshato, emva kokuba ufumene ukuba umthandi wakhe unepeni elincinci, okanye ukhawuleza ukugqiba. Iingcamango zesondo kunye nezinto ezikhethwa ngabantu abathile zingangena kwi-stupor! Imizekelo yobunzima. Apha, ukuxabana, ukucaphukisa nokuzisola kuqala, ngenxa yento yonke - ukukhohlakeleka, ukukhohlisa nokungcatsha. Inqanawa yentsapho kwaye ikhangele iguqulwe. Kodwa konke oku kunokukhutshwa.
Akunjalo nxamnye nathi sikhuthaza ukuziphatha kakubi ngokwesondo! Konke okufanayo, kuya kuwe: akukho mntu unokuqiniseka, ukukholisa umntu onokuzithemba, umntu onokuzithemba. Sasiqwalasela ukuba isondo singenzeka kuphela emva komtshato: ubuchule kunye neengxaki zengxaki. Yaye wena, ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukuthatha inyathelo elinqabileyo, kufuneka ucinge ngokucokisekileyo, uvavanye, ubale ubungakanani bengozi. Ewe, kwaye "i-straw podstelit" ayizange ibuhlungu. Into ephambili ayiyikukhawuleza - kungekho kwiingcamango, nakwizenzo.