Ngaba ndimele ndixelele lo mntu ngeengxaki zam?

Kuzo zonke izinto zobomi bomntu, kunzima ukufika ixesha. Kwaye, ngomzuzwana nje, ngamnye wethu ufuna ukuxhaswa. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kubonakala ngathi akufanele sitsho, kuba umntu akayiqondi. Amanye amantombazana acinga, ngaba kufanelekile ukuxelela umntu malunga neengxaki zabo? Kubonakala ngathi ukuxelela umntu malunga neengxaki yinto eqhelekileyo kwaye eqhelekileyo. Emva koko, ngumntu osondeleyo. Kodwa, ngenxa yesizathu esithile, akusiyo yonke intokazi efuna ukuthetha nomntu malunga neengxaki.

Kutheni oku kwenzekayo? Kutheni abantu abaninzi besifazana bezibuza: Ngaba kukufanelekile ukuxelela umntu ngeengxaki zabo? Enyanisweni, amanye amantombazana ayesaba okanye akafuni ukuxelela loo nto ngamava, kuba bacinga ukuba abayi kuqondwa.

Vumelana, ngenxa yokuba siqala ukuxelela, kwaye sibona ukuba le nsizwa ayinomdla okanye akayicingi nje le ngxaki. Kodwa, enyanisweni, izinto azifani nokuba zibonakala ziintombazana. UGuy akanandaba namava akho. Kuphela nje kukuba unengqondo ehlukile kwaye ukholelwa ukuba akufanele ube neentloni malunga nezihlunu. Amantombazana amaninzi, eqala ukusho into ethile, alindelanga iindlela zokusombulula iingxaki, kodwa unesihe sokuqala. Lo umehluko omkhulu phakathi kwendoda nentombazana. Amadoda athetha ngobunzima babo kuphela kulabo bantu kwaye kwimeko apho umntu angayicombulula ngokwenene kwaye ngandlela-thile uncede. Ngesihawu sokuqala abayidingayo. Ngokuchasene noko, umfana akanakukhathazeka xa beba novelwano naye. Uyeka ukuzivakalelwa njengendoda yangempela. Ngoko ke, khumbula ukuba ukuba umntu uthetha ngeengxaki, zama ukukunceda ngokwenene. Ukuba oku akunakwenzeka - bonisa nje ukuba ukhona kwaye ulungele ukuxhasa ngexesha elincinane. Kodwa musa ukuzisola.

Ngenxa yoko, ukwazi le nkcazelo yabantu abancinci, musa ukubacaphukisa kwaye ungathethi nantoni na. Kalula nje, ukuba uyayiqonda ngokwenene ukuba, ngokungathi unqwenela ukukunceda umntu, akayi kwenza ngenxa yeemeko ezithile, mxelele ngoko kwenzekayo, ukuba uyayidinga, kodwa ungalindelanga ububele obungenamkhawulo kunye nokunyamekela. Kwaye akukho mfuneko yokuba ungamcaphukisi ngenxa yokungenzi konke okulindele. Kule nto uya kunceda intombi yakho. Vumelana, kunye namantombazana onokuthetha ngazo ngeengxaki ngonaphakade, buhlungu omnye komnye, khala kwaye, ngenxa yento, ukuzola.

Kodwa, ukuba uyazi ukuba incinci inokukunceda, akufuneki ukufihla into kuye. Ukuba unamathele kwiingxaki zakho kwaye uya kuthula malunga nabo, insizwa ingacinga into engekwenene, ekhubekileyo kunye nomsindo. Ewe, ufuna ukuba acinge nje nge-telepath malunga nayo yonke into ekukukhathazayo. Kodwa, ngelishwa, ngobomi bokwenene oku akunzeki. Ukuze abantu basincede, kufuneka sixoxe nabo ngeengxaki zabo.

Kwakhona, ungathuli malunga neengxaki, ukwenzela ukuba ungabandakanyeli umfana kubo. Ukuzincama okunjalo akuyithandi kwaye kuthethwa njengesisiphukuphuku kwimbono yendoda. Ngokomgaqo, bachanekile. Emva kwakho konke, zigwebe ngokwakho, ukuba abantu banomtshato obalulekileyo, ngoko banakho konke okufanayo: kokubili uvuyo kunye nentlungu. Ngoko ke, akukho mfuneko yokubonisa ubuqhawe apho kungadingeki khona. Yonke indoda yangempela ifuna ukuba ngumkhuseli kunye noncedo lomfazi wayo. Ngoko ke, xa ungamxeleli ngeengxaki ezinzulu, kubonakala kumntu ocinga ukuba uyabuthathaka, akakwazi ukwenza. Kodwa eneneni, oku, kunjalo, akunjalo. Kodwa, ngelishwa, ngenxa yeengcamango zabo kunye neengqondo zengqondo, abafana bayichaza iimeko ezinjalo ngokuchanekileyo. Ngoko ungathuli. Kwaye, akukho mfuneko, akudingeki ukuba uchitheke kwintsimi yombono ukuxazulula iingxaki. Qonda, lo mntu uya kunxhala ngakumbi kunokuba umxelela yonke into. Eyona nto iyingozi kakhulu kwaye iyingozi.

Ngoko ke, ukuba unento ethile eyenzekayo, akufuneki ukufihla nokukhala ekhoneni. Yiza kumfana wakho uze umxelele yonke into. Ukuba kukubuhlungu nokubi kuwe, khala. Kule meko, uya kukuqonda kwaye akuthuthuzele. Khawukhumbule nje ukuba induduzo yindoda iyahluke kakhulu kwintombi. Ukuba amantombazana aya kuxhasa inkxaso yabo ukuba yonke into iya kuhamba kakuhle, wena uyona mhle kwaye zonke iinkunzi zeebhokhwe, umfana akasoze athi izinto ezinjalo. Uya kukuxelela ukuba ungalili, ubambe kwaye ucinge ngendlela yokusombulula yonke into. Ngoko ke, thabatha yonke into ngokufanelekileyo kwaye ungaziphathe kakuhle, ilizwi elikukhubekisileyo. Ukuba uqala ukuvuthela i-sponge yakho kwaye ucela ukunyuselwa okongeziweyo, inkwenkwe yakho iya kuthatha njengentsiphu yakho, okanye icatshukiswe. Jonga ngokwakho, akaboni isizathu sokuchitha ixesha kwiimvakalelo. Ngomzuzu xa ukhubekile, le ntsha icinga malunga nokusombulula iingxaki zakho. Yaye ukuba uqala ukukhubeka, okokuqala, akanakuqonda isizathu salo mkhuba, kwaye, okwesibini, uyacaphuka kukuba awuyikuyixabisa umsebenzi wakhe.

Kodwa amanye amantombazana aneemeko apho umfana engazange aphendule kwiingxaki zabo. Indlela yokusabela ngayo kwimeko? Enyanisweni, kukho iindlela ezimbini. Nokuba unengxaki ezincinci kwaye ufumene lo mfana. Okanye ufanele ucinge ngendlela umfana onenene ngayo. Ukuba sithetha malunga nenketho yokuqala, ngoko, ukuba uqale, kufuneka uvume ngokunyanisekileyo oko uhambayo ngenxa yezihlwele. Ewe, thina, ntombazana, sihlala sicinga ukuba iingxaki zethu zibaluleke kakhulu. Kodwa, kunjalo, kuyimfuneko ukuvavanya ngokwenene ukuba amava ethu axabisekileyo. Ngaba sinokulibala nje into eyenzekayo kwaye siyifumane uxolo okanye senze le ngxaki inempembelelo enkulu ebomini bethu. Kwaye, ukuba uyaqonda ukuba uhlushwa yizihlunu, ngoko kufuneka ufunde ukuzibamba kwaye ukhuphe ukutyekela kobuqhetseba. Ewe, ngokukhawuleza akulula ukwenza, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi unokutshintsha yonke into.

Ewe, ukuba indoda ingayithobeli into eyenzekayo nawe, cinga ukuba kubaluleke kangakanani kuwe kunye nolwalamano lwakho. Kungenzeka ukuba, akuthandi nje. Ngenxa yokuba iingxaki kunye neengxaki zomntu othandekayo zihlala zithatha indawo ebalulekileyo. Kwaye, ukuba umntu akayinyamekeli, ngoko, ngelanga, akayiva loo mvakalelo ofuna ukuyibona.