Ngoko, ukuba umntu ucinga ukuba uneminyaka elishumi elineshumi elinesihlanu ubudala ukuqala ukutshata, uyakulunganga. Kule minyaka, amantombazana sele sele akwazi ukwenza izigqibo ezinzulu, kuba isondo isinyathelo esitsha ebomini ngamnye wesifazane. Yingakho xa uvuma ukwenza oko, ngoko uqinisekile ukuba umfana uyakubamba ngokungathí sina kwaye ubuhlobo bakho buya kuba bude kwaye, mhlawumbi, lukhokelela emtshatweni. Ukuba ungeke ucinge ngoko, awuyi kwenza njalo,
ngokulandelanayo, ngaba ndingatshata nomfana ozinike ngo-15? Ewe, unako. Kodwa ngenxa yoko kuyimfuneko ukwenza konke ukwenza ulwalamano lwakho luhlale ixesha elide ngokwaneleyo. Inyaniso kukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba umtshato onjalo wokuqala uya kuvunywa ngabazali bakho. Ewe, unokwenza ngaphandle koncediso, kodwa ngoko awuyi kuba nzima ukuhlala umtshato wangempela. Kwaye, njengawe nayiphi intombazana, ewe, uyaphupha ukuba yonke into yayisezingeni eliphezulu.
Kwakhona, phendula umbuzo, inzala yakho ineminyaka emingakanani? Ukuba uneminyaka engaphantsi kwaye akanalo msebenzi, ngoko ukuba ufuna ukuhlala kunye, kufuneka ufumane into ethile. Ngoku kukho amathuba amaninzi okufumana. Ukuba uzama kanzima, unokudibanisa umsebenzi kunye nesifundo. Ewe, kuya kufuneka uhlalise ubuthongo nokuphumla, kodwa ukuze uhlale usondele kwintanda yakho, akuyona into ebalulekileyo.
Ukuba usenokugqiba ukuba ulungele ukutshata ku-15, qiniseka ukuthetha ngale nto kunye nomfana. Yena, njengendoda yangempela, kufuneka enze isigqibo kwaye athathe uxanduva olufanelekileyo. Okokuqala, kufuneka ucinge malunga nokuba uya kuhlala phi. Kakade uhlala nabazali bakho nabazali bakhe. Kodwa kukho ezininzi izinto ezimbi. Abazali, ewe, zama ukunyuka ebomini bakho kwaye ufundise oko kunye nendlela yokwenza. Bakufumanisa kunzima ukuqonda ukuba sele usukhulile abantu abakhulileyo abakwazi ukuzixhasa ngokupheleleyo baze bazibonele ngokwabo. Ngoko ke, cinga malunga nokuba ulungele ukuphulaphula rhoqo ukuziphatha koyihlo okanye unina.
Indlela efanelekileyo yokuphuma, ke, indawo yokuhlala eqeshwayo. Ayikho imfihlo ukuba loo nto inokubaluleka kakhulu, kodwa, kodwa kulula ukuzisa abahlobo apho kwaye wenze imibutho. Ewe, iimveliso kunye neentlawulo zezindlu zibiza kakhulu, ngoko ke umfana wakho kufuneka alungele ukufumana imisebenzi enye okanye emibini ekufuneka idibene kunye nezifundo zakhe.
Ubomi obudibeneyo isinyathelo esibalulekileyo, kodwa ukuba uthetha ngako, kuthetha ukuba ulungele, kuba uthando lokuqala luhlala luqine kakhulu kwaye lukhona. Abazali bakho banokukunciphisa kwisenzo esinjalo, besithi usazi ngokwenene ubomi kunye neemvakalelo zangempela. Ngelishwa, bangabantu nje befomathi eyahlukileyo abangayiqondi nonke. Abantu abazitshintshi ngobudala. Usuvele ungumntu oqulunqwe ngokupheleleyo owaziyo into ayifunayo ebomini kwaye unokukwenza okwenene ngaphandle kokuncediswa. Umthandi wakho naye uyazi indlela yokufumana imfundo ehloniphekileyo yokukunika ubomi obuhle, indawo yokuhlala, ukuphumla nezinye izinto ezininzi eziyimfuneko.
Ukubambisana naye unokukunqoba yonke inzima kwaye uphila kuze kube yiminyaka yobudala kunye kunye, ngaphandle kweengxabano, ukungquzulana kunye nezinye iingxaki, kuba uyazi kakuhle kwaye uqonda ngokuqinisekileyo ngaphandle kwamagama.
Ukuba, ngenxa yesizathu esithile, uyaqonda ukuba awukwazi ukutshata nomfana wakho okwangoku, nangona ufuna izinto ngaphezu kweyiphi na ehlabathini, ngoko kufuneka wenze konke ukuze ube kunye kwiminyaka embalwa elandelayo. Oko kukuthi, de kube ngumzuzu apho unokukunika ngokugcwele. Yintoni oyifunayo ukwenza oku?
Ewe, yiba intombazana enhle. Kumele umxhase, uqonde kwaye uncede kuzo zonke iimeko. Nangona kunzima kakhulu kwaye kungenakwenzeka kuwe, kusekho uxanduva lwakho ukuba uhlale apho kwaye wenze konke akutshoyo. Nangona ezi zinto zinokulimaza. Ngavumelani, yintoni umnikelo omncinci okanye umnikelo, ngokubhekiselele kunjongo enomtsalane njengomtshato nomntu othandekayo kunye nomntu kuphela? Ukongeza, kufuneka wenze yonke into ukuze kungabikho abaphikisana nawe. Kakade, isoka lakho liyakuthanda ngaphezu kweyona mininzi, kodwa amantombazana amaninzi azivale entanyeni yakhe, kwaye yena, njengendoda yokwenene, akanakunqanda. Ngoko ke, zama ukuhlala usondele kwaye ungavumeli ukuthetha kunye nabantu ngabanye besini esini. Nangona bafunga bafuna ukuba ngabahlobo nje. Awufuni ukulahlekelwa ngumlingani wakho, kunene? Ngoko, kufuneka umkhusele kangangoko kunokwenzeka kwamanye amantombazana, mhlawumbi baya kuphulaphula intsapho yakho.
Elinye iqela elibalulekileyo lobundlobongela ngesondo. Ukuba awuyi kuphucula rhoqo, iqabane lakho liyayeka ukukuxabisa. Kwale nto akukho nto ingaqhelekanga, kuba amadoda ahlala efuna ukuhlukahluka. Kufuneka uhlale uhlukile kwaye ungakuphiki nto. Ungumfazi omdala, ngoko ke unalo ilungelo lokwesaba uvavanyo oluthile. Ngaphezu koko, umfana wakho uya kukuxabisa inzondelelo yakho kunye nomnqweno wokumkholisa ngokupheleleyo kuyo yonke into. Khumbula ukuba ngokwenene ungumyeni wakho, kodwa umyeni onothando, umfazi usoloko enza konke: ukulungiselela, ukucima, i-irones, ukususa, ukuzonwabisa kumandlalo. Ukongezelela, uhlala ekwazi ukufumana ngokwaneleyo kwaye abukeka enkulu. Ukulungele ukuba njalo, akunjalo?
Ukuba wena, emva kokufunda le nqaku, uqonde ukuba awukwazi ukwenza konke oku, ungakhathazeki. Jabulela! Ngoko, akusiyo yonke into elahlekileyo kwaye ubuncinane uqala ukuqonda into ebomini. Ngoko ke, uyeke ukucinga ngomtshato, kuba usenako kuye, o, ungakhange ukhule. Phumla, ujabule uze ufunde ubomi.
Ukuba umhlathi wokugqibela uphukisa, akudingeki ukuba uyithobele. Kwakunjalo, ukujonga iimvakalelo ezibhaliweyo. Landela konke okukhankanywe ngasentla, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo uza kutshata nomntu ozinikezele kuye eneminyaka elishumi elinesihlanu. Ku funeka!