Ngubani olala naye umntwana?

Enyanisekileyo, ingxaki yokuba "ngubani olala nomntwana" kutshanje unenkxalabo enkulu kubahlengikazi bezingane, ukususela ngoku ngokuphathekayo kwintlepheko yokulala nabantwana. Igama lezonyango elithi "pathologically" lisetyenziswe kule meko kuba ngamanye amaxesha oomama abaqondi isizathu sokuba benze oko, ukubeka phambili iingxabano ezinzima kakhulu ukuba ugqirha aqonde.
Ukungafani kwimeko kukuba akukho namagqirha e-classic athi umzali odibeneyo wabazali kunye nabantwana uyadingeka yiyo yokugqibela. Ngokuchaseneyo, bayalwela imfuno yokugcina indawo ebalulekileyo yomntwana, upapa unelungelo lokulala kunye nomama kunye nokunye. Kodwa ke, kukho inani elikhulu leencwadi, ababhali abaqinisekisa ukuba ubuthongo obubambisene nabazali kunye nabantwana bubaluleke kakhulu.

Ngokomzekelo, ii-ambassadors ze-anthropologist eyaziwayo uJacob McKenna, umntwana, ngokwempawu zomzimba wakhe, ulungele ukulala nonina. Kodwa akunangqiqo ukufunda ukuba iPapa, kwisakhiwo sayo, ihamba noMama ngakumbi? Asinakuyicinga injabulo yomntwana ekuvuyiseni kwabazali bakhe, asiyikuvuyisa ubuncwane bukayise okanye indlela yokuhlula abazali. Cinga ngendoda njengomenzi owenza umsebenzi wakhe waza walala embhedeni, engalunganga.

Ngoko ke, icebiso kubo bonke oomama abaye banquma ukugqiba kunye nomntwana ukuphulaphula umbono kapapa, ulonwabo luzimisele ngokuvunyelwana ngabazali bobabini, kungekhona nje umntwana.
Oomama abaninzi, abantwana babo banamabele, bathi ukulala nabo kulula kakhulu ngenxa yokutya ebusuku. Ngelo xesha, oomama, abantwana babo basondla ngokuzenzekelayo baze baphinde balele kwibhedi ehlukeneyo, umbuzo uvela: ngaba umntwana wabo unomnxeba oqhagamshelana nonina? Abameli bezakhono eziphathekayo "Umcebisi wezoNgcwaba" uzama ukudlulisela kumfazi isidingo sokondla umntwana ekufuneni. Kodwa, ngokukrakra, oku kukhuthaza ukuba unomama ujabule, kwaye ukufakwa komfazi kwisakhelo esiqinileyo kunyanzelekile. Sizama ngazo zonke iindlela ukuba sinokuqiniseka ukuba xa umfazi engalali ubusuku, ugule ediniwe, uyondla umntwana okokuqala ngenyameko aze alele naye, umonakalo ngumama opheleleyo. Ngapha koko, ukuba umntwana ulala ebusweni bakhe, umama-uyalondla ngehora (okanye, uThixo akavumelani, umntwana akafumani ibele) kwaye unalo ixesha lokuphumla, ngoko unina ungezantsi, kwaye ngenxa yoko, iimeko ezihlukeneyo ziqala ukuvela malunga nokuba umntwana wakhe akayi unxibelelwano olwaneleyo.

Oogqirha bancoma kakhulu ukuba bafunde indlela yokwahlula phakathi koqhagamshelwano lwezilwanyana kunye noonxibelelwano lwabantu. Oonxibelelwano lwabasebenzi lulwazi kunye noqhagamshelwano. Nika umntwana ukufudumala kunye nenduduzo ayikwazi kuphela ukuyisebenzisa kwisifuba, kodwa ukuthetha naye, ukumondla ebhotile. Akukona ukuba kungcono okanye kukubi. Intetho malunga naloo nto, ukuba ibhinqa elingenakuyondla umntwana ngesifuba ngenxa yeemeko, ayiyi kuba inja kuye. Kwaye ukubonakalisa ukunakekelwa kwabazali, isisa kunye nokufudumala, uneendlela ezahlukeneyo. Kakade ke, kukho iintsapho ezingenakubuhlungu ukulala kunye nabantwana babo, abantwana bangafika ebusuku embhedeni womzali, kwaye abazali bawamkela ngokuzingca. Enye yemizekelo yale ntsapho yintsapho kaWilliam Martha Sears. Banabantwana abasibhozo, uWilliam ungumhlengikazi kunye noMarta ungumcebisi wokuncelisa. Bonke babhala imisebenzi emininzi malunga nokufundisa nokuvelisa abantwana abonwabileyo kunye nexesha elifanayo bahlala bevuya-abazali. Konke oku kulungile, ukuba nayiphi na imeko yonke amalungu entsapho ayavuya. Kodwa imodeli yentsapho yeeSears yakhiwe kuphela kubantwana. Le yintsapho ekhoyo kuphela ngenxa yabantwana, apho ukubaluleka kwentlalo yabasetyhini kugqithiselwa kuphela igama elithi "unina." Yintoni iMarta Sears ngaphandle kwabantwana abasibhozo? Kufundisa kuphela indlela yokuzibona ngayo kweli hlabathi, kuba ngumama kuphela. Kwaye uninzi lwabasetyhini banamhlanje lubona ukubaluleka kwabo kuluntu kwezinye izinto. Abanina babhala iincwadi ezenza baziwayo kulo lonke ihlabathi, indlela yokuphucula kuphela ukukhuliswa kwabantwana, kodwa kwabanye abantu abanezingane okanye babini, ezi ngcebiso azizenzi. Ukuba unquma ukunikezela ubomi bakho kubantwana - oku kukunene kunye nolonwabo, kodwa akukho ngaphantsi kwempilo yecandelo, ugqwetha, ugqirha, utitshala okanye omnye umntu.

Omnye akakwazi ukuvumelani noluvo lweengqondo ze-psychoanalyst esebenzisana nabantwana bazo zonke iindidi ukuba ukuhlala okumnandi komntwana embhedeni omnye kunye nonina akuyi kuba nemiphumo. Kukho iingxaki ezininzi zeengqondo ezithatha imvelaphi yazo ngqo kwimbewu kunye nabantwana. Iingxaki apho umntu omdala elala ngesondo kunye nomfazi omnye, kwaye watshata nomhlobo, uqale ngokuchanekileyo nelokuba ngexesha lokuhamba unina wathumela uyise ukuba alale kwelinye igumbi. Lo mbandela ubaluleke kakhulu kumxholo weemeko umntwana ngokwakhe uya kuphila ngazo. Lezo ntsapho apho abantwana ababini banako ukudibanisa imifanekiso emibini - abafazi ngoyise we-imam ngokwabo-baya kuba novuyo ngokwenene. Ukukhula, yena (ukuba sithetha ngale nkwenkwana) uya kukwazi ukufumana umfazi we-sebet, oza kulala naye kunye naye kwaye uya kuba ngumama wabantwana bakhe.

Kuhleli ukuba udibanise ukuba ukunyuka okukhulu kwama-psychiatrists kunye neengqondo ze-psychologists ezixhaphaza iifowuni zomntwana kunye nomntwana inkolelo yamuva. Oogqirha babumba uluvo lwabo, sinento eyodwa kuphela: ukucinga nokuthatha isigqibo esifanelekileyo.