Kukho imbonakalo echanekileyo yokuba ukuphuhliswa kwengane ebaluleke kakhulu kukuthandana nomama. Kodwa, kuvela, ukunxibelelana komntwana kunye nompapa kubaluleke ngokufanayo ekuzaleni ngokupheleleyo ubuntu. Ngoko kutheni inxaxheba kayise isithathwa njengesibili? Izazi zenzululwazi zenze izifundo zokufunda. Abasixhenxe kwi-10 bakholelwa ukuba unina nobawo banomthwalo ofanayo wokukhulisa umntwana. Kodwa ngokwenene, oobawo bachithe, kunye nabantwana babo, ngokwemitha engaphantsi kweenyanga enye ngonyaka. Kodwa sekude kwaziwa ukuba abantwana abakhulayo abangenayo uyise babi kakhulu. Ngaphezu koko, abantwana abanjalo banokwenza izigwenxa. Kodwa kuvela ukuba akubona wonke umntu owaziyo ukuba utata kufuneka axhumane nomntwana.
Kutheni kubalulekile ukuba ubudlelwane phakathi kobawo nomntwana kubaluleke kangaka?
Izifundo zibonisa ukuba abantwana abakhuliswe kunye noyise nonina banamathuba amaninzi:
- Iingxaki ezimbalwa zokuziphatha.
- Iziphumo eziphambili kwiziphumo.
- Iimeko ezifanelekileyo zezempilo, zomzimba nezengqondo.
- Elula ukufumana ulwimi oluqhelekileyo kunye noontanga.
- Ukuba ubudlelwane phakathi kobawo nonina buhle, ngoko bona ngokwabo bakha iintsapho ezinamandla.
- Bafezekisa impumelelo enkulu kwimisebenzi yabo yobugcisa.
Njengoko sikwazi ukubona, ukubaluleka okukhulu kubandakanyeka nje kuphela ekukhuliseni ubaba. Kodwa ubudlelwane obuhambelana phakathi kobawo nonina. Abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba ixesha elithile ubaba achitha nomntwana, libhetele. Kodwa oku akunjalo ngokupheleleyo. Isixa sithuba asikho inkcazo yothando kunye nokunakekelwa. Okubaluleke ngakumbi kubunjani ubudlelwane. Utata kufuneka afundise into ebalulekileyo. Ukuze ube ngumzekelo ofanelekileyo wokuxelisa, ukuthetha nomntwana kungekhona "ngaphantsi kwetonga", kodwa ngokuthanda.
Ngengqiqo, umntwana, eba ngumntu omdala, uya kukopisha ukuziphatha kwabazali bakhe. Ngoko ke, abazali abaninzi abavela kwiintsapho zengxaki abaqhawule umtshato ngenxa yokukhulisa abantwana. Enyanisweni, abantwana sele beseneminyaka emininzi besaqaphela ukunyaniseka kulwalamano, ukuba ngabazali bazenza ukuba bahlali kunye. Kodwa, nangona kunjalo, ininzi yabo ifuna ukuhlala kunye nonina noyise. Ngexesha lokuqhawula umtshato, umntwana ufumana ingxaki enkulu yengqondo. Kwaye akukho zizathu ezingamqinisekisa ukuba kuya kuba ngcono kuwo wonke umntu.
Ukuba umtshato ungenakugwema, kufuneka ufumane amandla okwenza ngendlela ephucukileyo. Kubantwana, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba abazali baqhubeke besebenzisana. Kwaye nawuphi na umzekelo, awukwazi ukunqanda ukuthetha komntwana kunye nabazali. E-Rashiya, abafazi bexesha elide bavame ukuziphindisela kumadoda "asethathe umhlalaphantsi", bebenqabela ukuba badibane nabantwana. Kodwa ekugqibeleni bayalimaza kungekhona indoda, kodwa abantwana babo abathandekayo.
Kutheni kunzima ootata ukuthetha nabantwana?
Oku akusoloko kwenzeka. Kodwa kuphela xa uyise echitha ixesha elincane kunye nenzala yakhe. Kukho isizathu sokuba kunzima amadoda ukuba abhekane neemvakalelo zabo xa bexoxa ngemiba engathandekiyo. Kulula kakhulu kubo ukubheka ibhola kunye nabaselula. Dlala nabo kwimidlalo yekhompyutheni okanye bathabathele epakini. Ngoko ke, imiba ebalulekileyo, nangenxa yecandelo lesilisa, abantwana kufuneka baxoxe kunye nonina. Upapa kufuneka athethe kwaye aphulaphule abantwana. Yaye musa ukuba khona. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ukwazi ukuba utata kufuneka akwazi ukuzisebenzisana njani nomntwana.
Le ndoda yintloko yokutya kwintsapho. Kufuneka azinikele ixesha elide lokusebenza. Kwaye abantwana bakhula. Kwaye kunzima ukuba uyise afune ulwimi olufanayo nabo. UPapa akayithandabuzeki ngokupheleleyo umntwana osanda kuzalwa. Kukho inkolelo yobuwula ukuba kwiminyaka yokuqala yobomi bomntwana, upapa ayifuni nhlobo. Kodwa kusebuntwaneni ukuba uqhagamshelwano lwengqondo lubekwe phakathi komntwana kunye nabo bajikelezayo. Kungenzeka ukuba ugogo, ohlala ehlala kufuphi, uya kubaluleka kumntwana kunoyise. Ngako oko, indoda kufuneka, ukusuka kwiintsuku zokuqala zobomi bomntwana, ithathe inxaxheba ekusebenzeni kwayo. Ukuqonda oku, ikakhulukazi eNtshonalanga, amadoda amaninzi aphantsi koomfazi babo ekubelekeni.
Yintoni uyise angayenza ukuphucula ubuhlobo bakhe nabantwana?
- Ukuphuhlisa ubudlelwane nomama. Ukuba umama uvakalelwa uthando kunye nokunakekelwa nguyise, ngoko lonwabo uya kuhanjiswa kumntwana. Kwaye ukuphuhliswa ngokupheleleyo komntwana kubaluleke kakhulu.
- Nxinxe uyihlo "ngomsebenzi ongcolisayo". Akukho nto eyenza uyise kunye nomntwana kunye ndawonye njengendlela yokudibanisa. Utata akakwazi ukuncelisa. Kodwa kufuneka azive uxanduva lwakhe nokubandakanyeka.
- Banike ixesha. Mhlawumbi ulwalamano aluyi kulungiswa ngokukhawuleza. Abantwana balindele ubungqina bothando. Kwaye akuyi kuba izipho, kodwa ingqalelo enyanisekileyo kunye nokunakekelwa ngubaba.
- Okubalulekileyo akusikho into oyithethayo. Nento oyenzayo. Abantwana abasayiqonda amazwi, kodwa benza imisebenzi. Khumbula ukuba abazali bayimodeli. Iintombi ziza kukhangela umntu ofana noyise. Ke oonyana bafuna ukufana nooyise. Ngoko qaphela: banokuzikopisha loo mpawu ozizondayo.
- Thetha nomhlobo wakho. Okokuqala, kufuneka uqonde ulwalamano lwakho. Ngokomzekelo, kumntu umvakalelo weshwele ngumcimbi wendalo. Ingabangela iingxabano ezingenangqiqo. Kubalulekile ukuxoxa ngemiba enokukhathazeka. Ukuze unqobe ukungaqondi kakuhle nabantwana, uyise kunye nonina kufuneka babe liqela elinye.
- Mamela abantwana bakho. Xa inzala ikhula, kufuneka iwanikwe ithuba lokuva. Oku kuya kunceda ulutsha luve luleke. Ukwandisa ukuzithemba kwabo.
- Kwaye ekugqibeleni - zinyamekele wena nabantwana bakho.