Ngokwezibalo, umzekelo, eUnited States naseKhanada, abantwana abayizigidi ezi-2 bavalelwa ngokubetha ngamnye ngonyaka ngabazali babo. Ngaphezu koko, kwi-1/3 yazo zonke iziganeko zobundlobongela obuphathekayo, abantwana banqanyulwa. Ngonyaka jikelele iwaka lamawaka abantwana bafa ezandleni zabazali babo.
Iimpawu zabazali abonisa ubukrakra
Ngoko ke ngaba abazali bahlahlazela njani abantwana babo? Ngokuqhelekileyo aba bantu bangaphantsi kweemeko okanye bafumana ukuwa kwezicwangciso zabo zobomi zangaphambili. Iingxaki eziqhelekileyo eziqhelekileyo eziqhelekileyo kuba bazali bahlala bexinezelekile, iimvakalelo zoluleko, ukungavumelani komtshato, ukungabikho komsebenzi, ukusetyenziswa kakubi kwezinto zengqondo, ukudlulisa umtshato, ubundlobongela basekhaya, ubunxila, kunye nokukhathazeka ngokuntuleka kwemali.
Uninzi lwabazali bayaqaphela ukuba abaphatha kakuhle abantwana babo, kodwa abakwazi ukuziyeka. Abanye abazali abahlala bexhatshaza abantwana babo, bazithiyile okanye bazive bazihlambalaze. Abantwana abacocekileyo bezingane, bekhala bekhala, iintswelo zabo zabantwana azixhomekekanga kubazali abanjalo. Unina ophethe kakubi umntwana wakhe, ukholelwa ukuba umntwana wakhe uyamkhathaza ngenjongo, enze konke "ngokukhawuleza". Ngokuqhelekileyo abazali abanokuphuka okunjalo kwiphupha le-psyche lokuba umntwana ngokukhawuleza emva kokuzalwa kwabo kuya kubavuyisa. Xa umntwana eqala ukungaziboni ngokungazi, oko kulandela ukubulala.
Ukutshatyalaliswa kubazali kubangelwa okanye bengenakuzikhethela, bengazi okanye bengazi. Inkcazo yabazali, ngokweengxelo, iyenzeka kwi-45% yeentsapho. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba sithatha ingqalelo kwiisongelo, izitya, ukwesatshiswa kunye nokuphala, phantse wonke umntwana ubonakaliswe ubuncinane kubonakaliso bodlame lwabazali.
Phakathi kwezizathu ezibalulekileyo zokunganeliseki nabantwana babo - ukunganeliseki ngezifundo zabo - 59%. Bayabonga abantwana babo ngokwenza imisebenzi yasekhaya eyenziwe kakuhle - 25% yabazali, kwaye bahlwaywa baze batshaywe ngenxa yokungaphili - 35%. Ngaphezu kwesithathu sabo bonke abazali kumbuzo othi: "Ucinga ntoni umntwana wakho?" Banike abantwana babo izinto ezifana nalezi: "zimbi", "ziphumelelanga", "zikhohlakele," "zenze inkathazo eninzi," njl. Ngombuzo othi: "Kutheni uthetha ngomntwana wakho? "- abazali baphendula bathi:" Siyamkhupha njengaye. Umele azi iziphene zakhe. Makhe enze konke okusemandleni akhe ukuba abe ngcono. "
Umjikelezo onobungozi wobundlobongela
Eentliziyweni zazo zonke iimeko zokuxhaphazwa kwabantwana yinqanaba lobundlobongela obuphuma kwisizukulwana esinye kwesinye. Phantse omnye wesithathu wabo bonke abazali abaphathwa kakubi ebuntwaneni bentsapho, badlulisela kakubi kubantwana babo kamva. Omnye wesithathu wabo bonke abazali ababonisi ubukrakra kubantwana kwimpilo yabo yemihla ngemihla. Nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha benza ngobudlova, bexinzelelekileyo. Abazali abanjalo abazange bafunde indlela yokuthanda abantwana, indlela yokufundisa kunye nendlela yokuthetha nabo. Uninzi lwabantwana abaxhatshazwa kakubi ngabazali kwimpilo yabo yabantu abadala baqala ukubonisa ubugwenxa kubantwana babo.
Iinjongo kunye nezizathu zobunkokheli bomzali
Iinjongo eziphambili zobunkokheli kubazali kubantwana babo-umnqweno wokuba "ufundise" (50%), impindezelo yokuba umntwana akahlangabezananga nokulindela, ucela into ethile, ifuna ukuba ingqalelo (30%). Kwi-10% yamacala enkohlakalo kubantwana kukuphela kwayo - ukumemeza ngenxa yokumemeza, ukubetha ngenxa yokubetha.
Izizathu eziqhelekileyo zobunkohlakalo kwintsapho zi:
1. Amasiko okukhuliswa kwamatritari. I-strap kunye nokubetha iminyaka emininzi yayithathwa njengeyona nto inemfundo efanelekileyo kakhulu kwaye yodwa. Akunjalo kuphela kwiintsapho, kodwa nakwizikolo. Ndiyakhumbula i-aphorism eyayisithandwa kakhulu: "Kukho iindawo ezininzi - izilumko ezimbalwa".
2. Inkohlakalo yanamhlanje. Ukuguqula utshintsho lwezentlalo-qoqosho kuluntu, ukuhlaziywa ngokukhawuleza kwexabiso kukukhokelela ekubeni abazali bahlala befumana imeko yoxinzelelo. Ngelo xesha, bafumana inzondo ngokubhekisele kumntu obuthakathaka kwaye ongenakukhuseleka-umntwana. "Ukukhutshwa koxinzelelo" kubakho rhoqo kubantwana, ngokuqhelekileyo kubantwana basenkulaneni kunye nabantwana abaselula, abangaqondi isizathu sokuba abazali bacaphuke.
3. Umgangatho ophantsi weenkcubeko zomthetho nezentlalo yoluntu wanamhlanje. Umntwana apha, njengomthetho, akenzi njengesihloko, kodwa njengento echaphazelayo. Yingakho abanye abazali befezekisa iinjongo zabo zemfundo ngobuqhophololo, kungekhona nangayiphi na enye indlela.
Ukuthintela inkohlakalo kubantwana
Namhlanje, iintlangano ezahlukeneyo zentlalo ziye zasekwa ukuze zichonge abantwana abashaywayo okanye abanqatshelwe unyango ngabazali babo. Nangona kunjalo, nokuba "ukunyamekelwa" ngokusemthethweni kubantwana abaye bafumana unyango olusinyanisekileyo, abavami ukuzisa iziphumo ezifunwayo. INkundla inako ukugqiba isigqibo sokuba ngaba uthatha umlondolozo womntwana, okanye ngabazali ngokwabo bavuma ngokuzimisela ukumbeka kwintandane. Ngamanye amaxesha ukunyamekela umntwana kwintandane kulunge ngakumbi kunekhaya. Nangona kunjalo, kunokwenzeka ukuba unonophelo olunjalo luya kulimaza umntwana. Kwezinye iimeko, umntwana uhlala ekhaya nabazali, kodwa abo, ngokuhambelana nenkqubo efanelekileyo, bafundisa amandla okunyamekela abantwana, ukujamelana noxinzelelo. Kungaba ngcono ukuba ezi zakhono zafundiswa kubantwana abaselula esikolweni esiphakeme.
Iingcaphephe zincoma ukuba abazali abahendelwa ukubetha umntwana okhalayo benze oku kulandelayo:
- Khawuleza uphume ekamelweni uze ubize umhlobo;
- Nika amandla umculo omnandi;
- Gcoba phantsi, udibanise ngokucwina, ke emva kwekhefu 10 ukububula;
- Yiya kwelinye igumbi uze wenze ezinye iindlela zokusebenzisa;
- Thatha i-shower epholile;
- Hlala phantsi, vala amehlo akho kwaye ucinge ukuba unendawo enhle kuwe.
- Ukuba akukho zicwangciso ezincedisayo, cela abaqeqeshi ukuba bancede.