Izizathu zokunganeliseki ngumntu wakho othandekayo ziyakwazi ukuhluka:
- ukungaqiniseki ekukhethweni kwesigamu sesibini, xa amantombazana okanye abafazi beqala ukucinga ukuba kuya kufuneka baphile ubomi bomntu onjalo;
- ukugqibelela, xa ebeka ngaphezu kweqabane lakhe, ecinga ngendlela angayibona ngayo loo nto;
- kuxhomekeke kwimbono yomnye umntu, amaqhinga, xa ubonakala ngathi akunjalo.
Kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo kwindima yesizathu esona sizathu sokungathandabuzeki. Umntu othembekileyo akayi kuvela ngcamango yokuba iqabane lakhe libukeka libi, kuphela xa liphuma "kubantu", ukuxelela. Yaye le yimeko ehluke ngokupheleleyo. Kodwa onokungabaza malunga nomlingane, uya kuziphatha ngale ndlela.
Isisombululo esisisigxina kakhulu kule meko yintshintsho yecalingani, kuba ingqalelo ngaluphi na uthando kulo mqathango, akukho nto ingabakho ntetho - oku kuthethwa ngabantu abaninzi. Kodwa emva koko, abantu abalungileyo abakho, kwaye kunye nomlingane othandekayo kunye nococekileyo unokufumana ezininzi iimpazamo ukuba zifunwa.
Ewe, nokukhetha amalingani, kungcono umntu akayi kuthi, izakhiwo zakhe ziya kuqina, kwaye ke uya kushiyedwa yedwa kunye nesimo sakhe sokunganeliseki.
Kule meko, akudingeki utshintshe iqabane, uhlambe iikhati zakhe, uthenge iingubo azinqwenelayo, kungekhona, ukuba umncinci aze adlale imidlalo. Oku kuya kubakho nto, kuphela kwimpikiswano, kodwa kwanokwanda kwinto yokungaqiniseki komntu. Utshintshile kule meko uyazifuna wena!
Ukuba awukwazi ukuzilungisa, kodwa ufuna ukuhlala nalo mntu, kungcono ukufuna uncedo lwezakhono kwi-psychologist. Ihlazo kulokho akukho nto, kufuneka ucinge ngento enokukunceda. Kwaye ujika kwi-psychologist, uya kumangaliswa ukuba akayi kuthetha malunga nendlela otshintsha ngayo iqabane. Kuya kuba malunga neengxaki zakho, ubunzima. Injongo yencoko iya kufikelela kwiinkomfa zakho, izizathu zokungaqiniseki kwakho.
Izifundo ezifanelekileyo kakhulu ziya kuba xa uhamba nazo. Ukuba unolwalamano oluqinileyo, iqabane lakho liya kuthatha ubunzima bakho kwaye lenze konke okusemandleni akho ukukunceda.
Ingxaki yale mpawu ibuye ibe nelinye icala elibi. Uninzi lwamaxesha amaninzi umlingane uthemba abantu bakhe abathandekayo, kwaye xa ehlala ethetha into efanayo - ukuba ubonakala engalunganga, uya kuziva ekhuselekile. Oku kunokukhokelela ekuzimeleleni, ukungafuni ukuphuma esitalatweni, kwaye, ngokubanzi, ukugula ngokuxhomekeke kwindlela yokubonakala kuyo.
Ikhathalo ekhethekileyo yinkalo ngokubonakala kwiibhangqwana eziselula. Xa abantu bekhulile, baqala ukuthatha isimo sengqondo esiphezulu ngakumbi kubo. Ngaphantsi kweepesenti ezimbalwa zekhulu ehlala kwisitayela sabo, umzekelo, abadala bezenziwe zinyithi abanakukwazi ukulungisa nantoni ngaphandle kokuba beyilungiselele ubudala babo. Kodwa bonke abanye abantu abadala baqala ukucinga malunga neento ezibonakala ngathi njenge-kakoni, ukuze ungangqineli uluntu. Ngoko ke, ukuthanda nokukhethwa kwintando. Isitayela sihlala sisodwa, kodwa utshintsho kwicala ukuze isiqingatha sakho sesibini kunye nabantu abasondelene nawe bavuyiswe.
Ngokuphathelele izibini ezitshatileyo, zizama ukubonisa ubungqina kuluntu, kwaye ngokukodwa kumlingane, ukuba zineendlela ezizimeleyo, kwaye aziyi kubuxoki. Kakade ke, xa uneminyaka elilishumi elinesibhozo ukuya kwamashumi amathathu, oku kubalulekile. Wonke umntu unendlela ezahlukeneyo, umntu oneminyaka engamashumi amabini anesihlanu sele eqala ukucinga ngokubonakala kwakhe "omdala", kwaye kumntu kunye neentlobo ezingamashumi amathathu, iinwele ezinde, ijee ezinamajoni kunye neengubo ezinemibala engcolileyo.
Kuyafaneleka ukunika iingcebiso kuba "bahlaziyi" abangenelisekanga ngokubonakala kweqabane labo. Akunandaba, ngokusemthethweni, oko kubonakala ngathi isiqingatha sakho. Ukuba ungumfazi, ngoko umsebenzi wakho ngokuzenzekelayo ugcinwa ukugcina ubungqina bee jeans eziphangaleleyo kunye neengubo zangaphandle. Kwaye kubalulekile ukuba indoda ibhinqe iimpahla ezindala. Kwamanye amabango akufanele kubekho na izikhalazo, kuba ukuba uyamthanda umntu, uyamthanda ngokupheleleyo - i-hairpress kuya ekupheleni kweenwele zakho, kwaye yintoni ekhoyo kumzimba wakho ozithandayo - kufuneka uyenze.
Ngokwenene, isizathu sokuba nesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo kumlingani wakhe siyinqanaba elingenangqiqo lobuhle, eliphefumlelwe ngamaphephancwadi acwecwe kunye namanye amaphephandaba, ekukhuthazeni i-canon yobuhle "90-60-90" kunye nabasetyhini obuqilima, ukukhula okukhulu kunye nesimo esithile samadoda.
Ukujamelana nokubonakala komfazi kubulula kakhulu, kuba bathabatha ukugxeka kwidilesi yabo, nangona bebuhlungu kakhulu, bevelisa ngakumbi. Kodwa amadoda azama ngamandla ukukhusela abantu ngabanye, kwaye oku kuqala ngokubantwana, xa kuthathwa ingxaki yesikolo.
Kubalulekile ukuqonda, ukwamkela nokuthanda oko umlingani wakho akuthandayo. Kakade, ukuba kufike oko akufunangayo okanye engayithandiyo, indlela ekhangeleka ngayo, kodwa uzama ukulahla ukunyaniseka kwaye, ukubheka, akafani nabanye abantu. Ngoko ke, kunengqiqo ukuzama ukulungisa into engekho nto, okanye kunoko, ekuqapheliseni isitayela sakho, kwaye akuyona indlela yokuhlukanisa.
Kwaye ama-halves, azama ukufumana iimpazamo ngaphandle komlingane, unokukhetha, njengoko kuchaziwe ngasentla, nokuba uyamkela oko iqabane elikuthandayo okanye ukufumana ingxaki ngokwabo, okanye ukutshintsha iqabane, elingesiyo isigqibo esilungileyo, nangona akunakwenzeka ukuthetha ngokungathandabuzekiyo, kuba zonke iimeko zihlukile.
Ngokubanzi, khangela ingxaki kuwe nayiphi na imeko, ukuba ufumana iimpazamo kunye neqabane lakho lonke ixesha, ngaphandle koko uya kuba yedwa.