Kodwa ebomini isiphumo saloo nto asiyinqabileyo, ukuba umqalisi womtshato ngumyeni. Izikhalazo, ukuzisola malunga nomtshato ongaphumelekanga, iinyembezi, ukuxinezeleka, apha awukho wodwa. Siza kukubonisa indlela yokulwa neengxaki eziqhelekileyo.
Le meko ingaba nzima ukuba inani labantwana abambisene naye, ukuba kukho intombi encinci, akunakwenzeka ukuba uya kuqonda apho uyise uhamba khona, kwaye ukuba unyana ovela emtshatweni wokuqala usebenzise umntakwabo kwaye sele sele ekwazi ukumthanda, ke kunzima ukunika iziphakamiso.
Iingcali zengqondo zijonga ukuqhawula umtshato njengesinye seziganeko eziphambili ezibangela uxinzelelo, qaphela ukungabi nalutho. Lo ngumbuzo wokungabi nalutho ngokomoya, xa uvela ekuqaphelweni kokungabikho kwancedo kunye nokunyaniseka, akukho ndawo yokuya kuyo. Kodwa ukuba unonyana oye wangena ngexesha lokutshintsha, ngoko uyamdinga, kunye nentombi yentombazana engayi kukhula ngaphandle kokunyamekela.
Asinakukuqinisekisa ngegama elincinci "khupha ingqondo yakho kubantwana," "yonke into iya kudlula," okanye "fumana enye indoda," nangona kukho inyaniso kule nto. Ubomi obunzima? Xa konke kubonakala kumnyama omnyama, kodwa akupheli apho.
Yintoni endiyicebisa ngayo? Zama ukunyamezela, ukunqoba, ubunzima kwixesha elide emva kokuhlukana, kumaxesha amaninzi eli xesha lithatha iinyanga ezimbini. Ngoko i-psyche yethu iyacwangciswa ukuba asinakuhlala siwela enkonteni yokuphelelwa yithemba kwaye sihlala sikhala, nokuba ngaba zilingo ezinzima ziza. Ngokomzekelo, kwindawo yokuqala yokuxinezeleka kukufa komntu othandekayo, kwindawo yesibini ukuvalelwa ngokungekho mthethweni, kwaye kwindawo yesithathu phantsi kwengcinezelo ngumtshato. Ukuqhawula umtshato, xa ulwahlukana nomntu wakho, akuyiyo inhlekelele eyingozi.
Emva kweenyanga ezi-2 okanye ezi-6, isimo sengqondo siya kubuyela ngokuqhelekileyo, kwaye endaweni yokuphelelwa lithemba, nangona kunjalo xa kukho abantwana ababini ekunyamekelweni kwakho, umnqweno wokukholelwa kwizinto ezilungileyo uza kuza kwaye umnqweno wokuphila uya kuza. Akukho nto, ukuba uya kuthatha inxaxheba kwabanye abantu. Kodwa ukuba emva kweenyanga ezi-6 ukulangazelela kwakho kuphelile, oko kuthetha ukuba unqobile eli nqanaba elinzima ebomini bakho. Ukuba iqabane lomntu ngumntu oqhelekileyo, ngoko akayi kuhlala engenamdla kumntwana wakhe. Isibonakaliso soxolo kwengqondo kwaye uxolo lwakho lwengqondo lunokuthi lube yintengiso kunye nefuthe elifanelekileyo ekuxoxaneni naye.
Awunakuze ukhangele ngokungapheli kwiifoto ezidibeneyo, ukhethe izinto ezinikezwe ngumyeni wangaphambili, ukhale iinyembezi kwimifudlana yakho, kwaye ubuthabathe umphefumlo wakho. Kwaye mhlawumbi kungcono ukuzikhathalela? Kwaye apha akufuneki kuphela ukuma emini yesitofu nobusuku, kodwa ukuba ubhalise kwiklabhu yezemidlalo, uye kwiidonons ezihle, ujonge ubuso bakho nomzimba. Ukubhalisa ukuqeqeshwa, ukujongana nabafazi abafanayo abaye bafumana umtshato, unako ukwandisa isangqa soqhagamshelwano, kunye neengcali zengqondo iza kukuxelela indlela yokuzivumelanisa ngokukhawuleza ubomi obutsha.
1. Awukwazi ukuhlala wedwa ngentlungu, ungazivali. Ingxakeko yayo ukuba yabelane nabantu abaninzi. Emva koko uya kuziva ukuba akunzima kakhulu kumphefumlo. Unokujika kwintombi yakho, ukhale, kodwa kungcono ukudibanisa nengcali yengqondo.
2. Ukuba ungumntu ovaliweyo kwaye awufuni ukwabelana ngeengxaki zakho nabanye abantu, qalisa idayari. Uya kukunceda usinde ukuhlukana, uyazi ngakumbi ingxaki xa ubhala ephepheni. Ezi mvakalelo ziya kukuyeka ukunyanzela umphefumlo, kwaye ziya kukhishwa kancane kancane. Uya kukhululeka kwaye kwakhona unokukwazi ukulawula wena kunye namava akho.
3. Hlalani phambi kwesibuko uze uzixelele ngeentlungu zakho. Ulwaphulo olunjalo lucinga ngokukhawuleza uxinzelelo, ngoko kufuneka ubenze ubuso obuncinane, oku kuya kwandisa imvakalelo yakho kwaye uya kuzingqina ukuba awuyiyo ingxaki malunga neengxaki.
4. Zigxininise emsebenzini. Umsebenzi uyithuluzi lomlingo kuyo nayiphi na ingxaki, kuya kunceda ukusinda ukuhlukana nokuphazamiseka kwiingxaki zabo, kwaye ke umsebenzi unenzuzo, uhlawulelwa.
5. Kubalulekile ukuba usebenze kanzima nje ukuba udinwe. Ingaba kuhlamba ngokukrakra, ukuhlambalaza egumbini, i-aerobics, isebenza. Kufanelekile ukuveza iimvakalelo zakho, kufuneka bakhululwe ngaphandle ukuze bangakonakali ngaphakathi.
6. Iimidlalo zinceda ukujamelana nokunyamezeleka, ukuya kwidlovini, sebenza ngaphandle. Kwaye inyama iyaphilisa, uye ehlathini, uhambehamba epakini. Phinda ubuyekeze incwadi yakho oyintandokazi, jonga ividiyo. Zama ukugqoka ngokukhawuleza, nokuba uhlala wedwa ekhaya. Simele siqinisekise ukuba ubomi bakho buzele iziganeko.
7. Isondlo esifanelekileyo sinceda ekuchaseni uxinzelelo. Nika ieskese kunye neziqholo. Konke okufunayo kuyahlukileyo izithelo, imifuno, amanzi amaminerali kunye neerisi.
8. Cinga ukucamngca. Kufuneka ube kwindawo yokuphumla noxolo, ngeli xesha ubukhosi buvuselela kabini ngokukhawuleza njengoko kwenzayo ngexesha lokulala.
9. Susa izinto ezikukhumbuzayo, akudingeki uthinte iileta ngeefoto, kungcono ukuzithatha kwaye uzilahle zonke. Kumele ubeke umgomo, ubuyele ebomini. Ngoku unenjongo yangempela yokuzibonakalisa. Nokwanele ukukhala. Ngoku unako ukubeka ingubo yakho eyimpendulo eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka, eyayiyicinga into engcolileyo, unokuhlangana nomhlobo wakho wesikolo, ocinga ukuba uyisicwenge, uye kwi-nightclub kunye nabahlobo. Ubomi buqhubeka.
Ukuqulunqa, ufunde indlela yokulwa noxinzelelo emva kokuhlukana nomntu. Kwaye kwinqanaba lokuqala kunye nexesha lokuqhawula umtshato, isikhali sakho esiyinhloko siyikholo kunye nesimo sengqondo sexesha elizayo. Ngeke kufike kanye kanye, ekuqaleni kuya kuba noxinzelelo, kodwa emva kokuphelelwa lithemba, ubusuku bokulala kunye namava, kuya kudlula. Khumbula ukuba kubhaliwe kwisikhumbuzo sasendulo "yonke into iya kudlula, kwaye le nto," kunye neengalo zakho zithatha eli binzana kwi-movie edumile "kwiminyaka engama-40, ubomi buqala nje."