Umama-intombi
Ukuthetha ngale ndlela yokuziphatha, ngokukhawuleza kubonakala ukuba unina ohamba nendodakazi yakhe okanye unyana ukuba ahlaziye, uxoxisa zonke iindatshana ezikwinqanaba elifanayo, uhlala esemncinci kwisitya kwaye ekholelwa ukuba eqinisweni uneshumi elinesihlanu. Le ndlela yokuziphatha ibonwa kakhulu ngabantu abaselula. Imnravitsya loo mama angayiqonda kunye nabahlobo. Ukongezelela, kukuphambi kwabahlobo ukuba abantwana bahlala beqhayisa ngoomama onjalo. Emva koko, kupholile xa abanye bengavunyelwe ngenxa yokuba umama akayiqondi, kodwa avunyelwe izinto ezininzi. Enyanisweni, imodeli yokuziphatha yomhlobo wesetyhini akude ibe yinto efanelekileyo njengoko ibonakala.
Ukuba umama uziphatha ngendlela efana nomhlobo we-100%, ke oku kuphethwe yimiphumo emibi kakhulu. Umntwana uqala ukuyiqonda njengemhla ngemihla, ngokufanelekileyo, yonke imiyalelo kunye nezifiso zakhe zamkelwa ngendlela efanayo, oko kukuthi, akwamukelwanga nhlobo. Kwabantwana entloko kukho umfanekiso we-idealamma-intombi engasayi kubambelela kumfanekiso womama. Ngokwenene unina kufuneka avumele konke. Eyona nto, xa umntwana ngokwakhe enqwenela ukuthanda. Kodwa ukuba umntwana osemtsha ufuna ukudala into engaziwayo, ngoko umhlobo-umhlobo uya kuguqulwa ngokupheleleyo. Ngoko ke, xa ukhetha umzekelo onjalo wokuziphatha, wena, okokuqala, kufuneka uhlalutye kwiqondo lakho. Ukuziphatha kwentombi intombi kuthetha into encinane kunokuba abantwana bafuna ukubona. Enyanisweni, umhlobo ngumntu oqondayo, akesabi ukuthetha inyaniso, unokukhupha, kwaye into enqabelayo. Ebudaleni, akubona bonke abantwana ababona abahlobo ngaloo ndlela. Ngoko ke, ukuba ukhetha umzekelo wokuziphatha, umhlobo womama, ngoko kufuneka ukuba kusekelwe ekuthembekeni. Okokuthi, akuthethi ukuba konke kufuneka uvumele yonke into kumntwana njalo njalo. Kuphela kukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukuyiqonda kwaye uxoxe ngeengxaki zayo, ngaphandle kokwesaba ukubiza yonke into ngamagama akho. Amanytesnyayutsya amaninzi athetha nabantwana ngokuvulekileyo, ebonisa ukuba bancinci. Kodwa abatsha abanamhlanje bayazi kakhulu kunokuba sazi le minyaka. Bafumana ukufikelela rhoqo kolwazi ngendlela ye-intanethi. Kodwa ingxaki kukuba phantse bonke abantwana abazi indlela yokucoca ulwazi olufunyenweyo. Ngoko ke, ulwazi lwabo aluphelelanga, kwaye ukuqonda kwezinto ezithile kuphazamiseka. Ukuba ufuna ukuba ngumhlobo-mma, ngoko ube ngumxholo wokuxoxisana ngokuzinzileyo kunye nomntwana nantoni na into enokumthakazelisa ngaloo minyaka. Okokuqala, oku kuthethwa ngento yesondo. Umhlobo wesibini akakwazi ukuthi: "Uya kukhula - ngoko uya kukwazi yonke into." Umele ahlale phantsi kwaye engahlali, engathethi, kunye nendodana okanye intombi yakhe malunga noko kumthanda. Qonda, ukuba olu lwazi luvela kuwe, aluyi kuqondwa ngendlela ephosakeleyo. Abazali abaninzi abafuni ukuthetha malunga nantoni na enje, ukuze bangalimazi abantwana. Kodwa yile ndlela abayingozi ngayo, kuba abantwana sele beyazi yonke into, kodwa kungekho ngendlela abayifunayo.
Yintoni enye ongayithethayo ngomhlobo wakho womama? Ewe, unokuba ngumntwana osemncinci, uxoxe nabahlobo bakhe njalonjalo. Kodwa engakhangeli konke oku, kunye nomntwana wakho, kunye nabanye abantwana kufuneka bakhumbule ukuba ungumama. Ngako oko, musa ukuhla ukuze uqedele ulwazi, vumela ukuba ubizwa ngokuba ngumntu kuphela ngegama njalo njalo. Usencinane ubuncinane kabini kundala. I-Adetas imele ihloniphe abadala, ngoko ungazihlakuli kubo umqondo wokulingana phakathi kwabancinci nabakhulu. Ngaphandle koko, nantoni na ungumhlobo ovulekile, kufuneka uhlale ungumama ohlakaniphile. Kukho oomama abakhetha imodeli yokuziphatha komhlobo kwaye baphendule njengoko benza iintombi zaminyaka yabo. Oko kukuthi, endaweni yokuxoxisana ngokukhawuleza ngeengxaki, ukunika ibhunga loshishino, ngokuhlakanipha ukulungisa imeko, oomama baqala ukuwela kwiimfumbo, ukufunga, ukwethuka njalo njalo. Ngelishwa, ekugqibeleni, kungase kuvele ukuba umntwana uya kukuphelisa ngokuhlakanipha. Kwaye kwiminyaka engamashumi amabini anesihlanu ubudala uya kumisa ukuba athathe icebiso lakho, kuba uya kukwazi ukuba uya kuphendula ngxaki njengesiqingatha sabangane bakhe. Oko kukuthi, akuyi kufezekisa nantoni na eyimfuneko. Ubuhlobo bomama-intombi kunye nomntwana kufuneka lwakhiwe kungekhona kwimibandela, kodwa kwiingcebiso. Ngoko lo mzekelo wokuziphatha unzima ngakumbi kunokuba umama-umama uziphatha ngayo, kuba, apha kufuneka uqinisekise umntwana ukuba azalise iimfuno zakho, ngelixa engasayi kuyenza, kodwa ekholisa kuphela.
Umama uMama
Kwi-brain brain, imodeko yokuziphatha komama-mama ibonakala iphosakele. Bonke abantwana bakholelwa ukuba oomama banqabela yonke into, abayiqondi nto, baphatha njengabantwana abancinci, njalo njalo. Ngelishwa, inani elincinci labasetyhini abadala liziphatha ngokufanayo ngendlela echanekileyo. Kodwa ngokwenene, mama-umama kufuneka abe nethephe. Enyanisweni, ukuziphatha komama-umama kunye nomama-umama akufanele kube yinto eyahlukileyo. Ngamaqabane nje, amantombazana-amantombazana ahlala aguquke kunye nabantwana abaselula, kuba baqonda kakuhle izinto ezithandayo kunye neemfuno zabantwana. Kwaye unina-mama akaqondi, kodwa zama ukuzithatha. Abayi kuhamba ngeenxaxos kunye nokusela ubhiya kunye nabahlobo bomntwana, kodwa umama-umama kufuneka aqonde ukuba awuyi kubonga abantwana kule nto. Into ephambili kukuba uqinisekise ukuba unyana wakho okanye intombi yakho uyayazi umlinganiselo kwaye uqonde ukuba ukuwela umda kulungile kwaye kungalunganga. Kwimeko nayiphi na imeko, ukuziphatha komama ngamnye, kungakhathaliseki ukuba yeyiphi imodeli yokuziphatha akhethayo, kufuneka kusekelwe kumava kwansuku zonke nobulumko. Kwaye oku kuthetha inhlonipho kumntwana wobuntu kunye nokwamkelwa ukuba umntwana wakho akancinci kwaye uyakhela ubomi bakhe, kwaye kufuneka uncede, ungabhubhisi. Umama usoloko ebengumfazi onobuqili. Indlela yokuziphatha kufuneka ibe yinto yokuba, nangayiphi na imeko enzima, umntwana uyazi ukuba mhlawumbi umama akayi kuqonda imbono yam, kodwa uya kwamkela kwaye azame ukunceda. Ukuba ukhetha umzekelo wendlela yokuziphatha kamama, kufuneka uhlale uqinisekisa ukuba imiyalelo yakho kunye nokuthintela inzuzo kumntwana wakho, kwaye ungabi ngumphumo weengcamango zakho kwaye ungonakalisi ubuntu bakhe.