Ukuba umntu uthi ufuna ukuba ndibe nomntwana

Mhlawumbi, ulwalamano lunokuthathwa njengolukhulu kakhulu, ukuba umntu uthi ufuna ukuba ndibe nomntwana kuye. Kodwa, kubonakala nje ekuqalekeni, kuba, ngokwenene, umnqweno omnye awunelanga. Umntu kufuneka alungele ngokupheleleyo ukuba nosapho.

Ukuba umntu uthi ufuna ukuba ndibe nomntwana, kuyimfuneko ukuqonda ukuba unokuba nguyise omhle. Ngaphandle koko, ekuqaleni kuyimfuneko ukuziphendulela kumbuzo olandelayo: ngaba ndikulungele ukuba ngumama, ngaba ndifuna ukuba nomntwana? Ngokuqinisekileyo, elowo mfazi ufuna ukuvuyela othandekayo. Akunjalo nje injabulo ayiyi kwenzeka, ukuba wena ngokwakho uya kuziva ungonwabi. Kula mabhinqa, isisitho sokubeletha siqala ukubonakalisa ngokwasemdala. Kukho amantombazana asekulungele kwaye kwiminyaka elishumi elinesixhenxe ukunyamekela umntwana. Kwaye kukho abo bangamashumi amabini anesihlanu abaqondayo ukuba bangakulungeli ukunikela ngomnye umntu ngokukhetha kwakhe, indlela yokuphila kunye nexesha lokukhulula. Enyanisweni, umntwana uhlala efuna idini. Kakade, akusiyo iphoso lakhe. Ingane yinkomo encinci kwaye inokungenakunceda efuna ukunakekelwa rhoqo. Ngoko xelela, ingabe ulungele ukumnika ukunakekelwa, ukulimaza iminqweno yakho. Umntwana akayidonki okanye intshontsho. Awukwazi ukuyifaka kwi-shelf, awuyi kuphosa kwaye awuyi kuyenza. Uthatha uxanduva ngokupheleleyo ngobomi bakhe, ukuphuhliswa kwakhe, isithuba sakhe. Ukuba uqaphela ukuba awukulungele ukuba uxanduva olunjalo, kungcono ukuba ungagqizi. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba intanda yakho inyanzelani, nantoni na ayithethileyo, khumbula ukuba ukuba uthatha isigqibo esiphuthumayo, unokutshabalalisa ubomi bakho kunye nomntu omncinci oza kule hlabathi ngokubulela kuwe. Ukuba umfana akafuni ukuqonda aze athathe isigqibo sakho, zama ukumxelela ukuba abantwana abayenawo amathoyizi. Yaye ukuba umama ubonisa ukunciphisa ubuncinci umntwana, oku kunemiphumo emibi kwi-psyche. Kodwa uyise ozayo akafuni ukuba umntwana akhule ngokwengqondo nangentlalo engaqinisekiyo. Yingakho kungcono ukulinda ixesha elide kwaye wonke umntu uya kuvuya.

Akufanele uzaliswe ngenxa yokuba ungakakulungeli ukuba ngumama. Umfazi ngamnye ufika ixesha lakhe. Ukuba oko kwenzeka, ngoko kufuneka usenze into ngaphambi kokuba unikezele ubomi bakho umntwana. Into ephambili kukuqonda oku ngokwakho kwaye ubeke isikhundla sakho kumfana oselula. Kukho amaxesha amaninzi xa abantwana bebeletha indoda, kwaye ke intsapho iqala ukutshatyalaliswa kunye neengxabano. Abasetyhini abakwazi ukunyamekela uxanduva lwabo kunye noxanduva lwabo, kwaye amadoda, afune ukuba umama womntwana angaziphathe njengomama wangempela. Konke oku kukukhokelela kwingqondo yengxaki yomntwana kunye nomtshato. Ngoko ke, ukuze ugweme amabali anjalo, kungcono ukuvuma ngokukhawuleza wena kunye nomyeni okanye kumyeni wakho ngokungafuni ukuba ngumama. Umntu onothando uya kuqonda yonke into. Ngaphandle koko, mhlawumbi ukwahlukana kuya kuba yinto ekhethekileyo. Ndiyavuma, kungcono ukuhlupheka, ixesha elithile ukuya kubini, kunokuba ubandezeleke bonke ubomi abathathu.

Ukuba usayaqonda ukuba ulungele ngokupheleleyo imisebenzi yomama wakho, cinga ngokucokisekileyo malunga nokuba umfana wakho unokuba ngubaba ococekileyo. Inyaniso yokuba abantu banomdla wokuthandana kunye nokucinga ukuba ukubonakala komntwana. Ewe, kupholile ukuxelela wonke umntu ukuba unendodana yeqhawe, kodwa enyanisweni, ukukhulisa umntwana kunzima kunokuba kunzima kunokuba kungabikho kwimpango yakho. Ngokuqinisekileyo, yena ngokwakhe uya kukuqinisekisa ukuba uya kwenza uyise ococekileyo, kodwa, zama ukulinganisa kwaye uvavanye ngokwaneleyo amandla akhe. Akukho mntu uthi iqabane lakho libi kwaye alixanduva, okanye akayithandi abantwana. Insizwa inokumnqula nje abantwana, udlale nabo iintsuku kwi-flight. Kodwa, unako ukuhlalisa umntwana xa ekhala, evuka phakathi kwenyanga yobusuku emva kwenyanga kwaye akuncede kuyo yonke into? Ingaba isoka lakho liza kuthatha imisebenzi emininzi yendlu? Ngaba iya kuba yinkxaso yangempela kunye nokukhusela wena kunye nosana? Kwaye, okubaluleke kakhulu, ngaba loo mfana akayi kuyika, ngokukhawuleza, uxanduva? Enyanisweni, kukho amaxesha amaninzi apho, njengokuba kunjalo, umfana onothando, emva kokuzalwa komntwana, watshintsha kakhulu. Waqala ukushabalalisa kunye nabahlobo, ukusela, ukuhamba kwaye angayithobeli ingqalelo kumfazi wakhe okanye umntwana. Yona indlela yokwethuka kubonakalisa phambi koxanduva. Ngokulula, le ntombazana yaqonda ngokukhawuleza ukuba yayingumntu ongeyena mntu. Kwaye ndaqonda ukuba andinakuhlala ndiphendula yona, ngoko ndingayamkela njani lo xanduva kumnye umntu? Yingakho eqala ukubetha kanzima aze aphuzise ukubuyela ekhaya. Kwaye, uThixo akavumelekanga, ukuba le nsizwa yayicinga ukuba ingcono kwaye ikhumbule loo nto. Ukuba umntwana wakhe uyathandwa kwaye ufuna. Ngaphandle koko, kwenzeka ukuba intombazana iya kushiyedwa yodwa, kunye nosana ezandleni zakhe. Kodwa awufunanga loo nto, mhlawumbi uyavuma?

Sifuna kwakhona ukuhlola ngokwaneleyo imeko yethu yemali. Ngaba unako ukunika umntwana impilo efanelekileyo? Ewe, akukho mntu uthetha nge-crib yegolide kunye neentsana kunye neadayimani, kodwa bonke abazali bafuna ukuba umntwana akwazi ukunyamezela. Kwaye, njengoko uyazi, umntwana kufuneka achithe imali eninzi. Wonke umama omncinci unokukuxelela ngale nto. Ngoko ke, cinga amaxesha ambalwa ngaphambi kokuba unqume ukuzala umntwana kumntu wakho othandekayo. Ngokulula, amadoda amaninzi akakwazi ukumelana noxinzelelo oluninzi kwaye aphule. Oku kungabonakaliswa ngobudlova, ukuxinezeleka kunye neebing. Ukuze unqande intlekele enjalo kwintsapho yakho, zama ukungawuthandi ukuzalwa komntwana, kodwa ukuthabatha yonke into.

Ewe, kulungile ukuba umntu uthe ufuna ukuba ndibe nosana. Ngoko, ngokuqinisekileyo, uyakuthanda kwaye ufuna ukuthatha inyathelo elibalulekileyo ebomini. Kodwa, ukuba le nyathelo ayifaki intlungu kunye nokukhungatheka, kufuneka uyiphathe kakhulu. Kuphela ukuba aba babini baqonda uxanduva olupheleleyo lwesigqibo, ngoko ke yena kunye nosana baya kuba benovuyo.