Ngoko kutheni umtshato udla ngokufa? Nendlela yokujongana nale nto? Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuhlala ixesha elide nomntu ofanayo, ingakumbi ukuba oku kuqhutyelwa yimpikiswano kunye neengxaki, kwenza ubudlelwane obuthathaka kakhulu, obunzima, buvelise ubunzima kwiintsebenziswano ngokubanzi kunye nolwabelana ngesondo ngokukodwa. Inani elikhulu lamanqaku kunye neencwadi sele zibhalwa malunga nendlela yokudibanisa ubomi bakho bobulili, ukuba wena kunye neqabane lakho sele nisondliwe kwaye nikhohliwe komnye nomnye. Kodwa ababhali bayalibala ukuba umntu akafanele alwe nesifo - isondo esingakhuselekanga, kodwa ngesifo ngokwaso kunye nesizathu sayo-iingxaki zomtshato kunye nolwalamano lwabantu, ukuxabana, ukungqubuzana, ukungaqondakali okuye kwaphazamisa umtshato iminyaka emininzi.
Umtshato akufanele uhambe kunye nokuhamba, umtshato omhle kufuneka wakhiwe isinyathelo ngesinyathelo, ubeke umzamo. Bonke abantu abafezekanga, kwaye okuqhelekileyo. Kodwa okubi kakhulu kukuba abaninzi abanqweneli ukuba baxakeke kwaye bazisebenzele ngokwabo, baziphucule ngaphandle nangaphakathi. Abantu, xa bengena emtshatweni, cinga ukuba ngoku unako ukuphumla ngeendlela zonke. Kodwa awukwazi ukuphumla, kufuneka usebenze ubudlelwane kwaye ufunde ukuhlala ngoxolo nomntu wakho womntu.
Kuya kuba nzima ukutshata, ukuba umntu "ongalunganga" wayekhethwe kuqala. Kutheni umntu angenza impazamo ekukhethweni? Akunakho ukuqonda oko akufunayo, unokuphoswa ngothando kunye njalo. Kodwa impazamo eyona nto kukukhetha umlingane, emva kweempembelelo, ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ukufumanisa umntu ngokupheleleyo. Ngokomzekelo, indoda ebuntwaneni yayilahlekelwa ngumama wayo, kodwa ngenxa yokuba ingqalelo ingqalelo kumfazi, njengayo. Yaye yafumanisa-umfazi omdala ongumntu onomntu ongezantsi kunye neqondo eliphantsi lobunzima, njengoko kamva kwacaca. Ngokuqinisekileyo, oku akunakho ukukhokelela kuyo nayiphi na into entle. Okanye, umzekelo, indoda yayifuna ibhinqa elinesigxina sabalandeli ukuba ibe yedwa kwaye yedwa. Omnye umzekelo, xa umfazi eshada nomntu oya kuzalisekisa yonke iminqweno yakhe, uya kunika umgangatho ophezulu wokuphila. Kwaye ke ukuyeka ukukholisa. Okomnye, umzekelo onamandla, umfazi oqinileyo ukhetha umntu obuthakathaka, nokuba ngumfazi kumadoda, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo uyazi ukuba uyindoda eqinileyo ecaleni kwayo. Ukuqhekeka phakathi kweminqweno emibili, unokuqalisa ukudelela indoda yakhe ngenxa yokubuthathaka. Kwaye kukho imizekelo eninzi xa abantu beqala ukufumana umntu "ongalunganga".
Ngoko, ukutshata ufunayo xa sele ufunde umntu kakuhle, xa umthanda kakhulu. Ukuba uyazi okhethiweyo wakho okanye okhethiweyo wakho, ke kukho izinto ezimbalwa ezixakekileyo, iimpawu zabantu ezingalindelekanga ezingavumelekanga kuwe. Kwaye ukuba kukho into encinci, kuya kuba lula ukuvala amehlo akho, ukuxolela, ngokuba uthando oluqinileyo luxolela kakhulu. Ukuba awunamonde, khetha izinto ezincinane, awukwazi ukuxolela ukungapheleli komnye nomnye, mhlawumbi mhlawumbi ungenayo imvakalelo enamandla. Ngaloo ndlela, ndiphinda, xa utshata, kufuneka ukwazi kakuhle umntu kwaye umthande kakhulu.
Ebudlelwaneni beentsapho, umntu kufuneka aziphathe ngokufanelekileyo. Umzekelo, kwimpilo yemihla ngemihla umntu akufanele akhuphe kunye ne-pooch, kwiimeko ezincinci ezingabandakanyeki umntu makangathethi ngeyonto ehlelekile, kodwa ngokukhawuleza kangangoko kunokwenzeka, ebonisa ukunganeliseki kwakhe ngokungakhangeli, kodwa ngamazwi, ukuze uvezwe kwaye uqondwe. Zama ukuvumelana, zithintela iimvakalelo, musa ukulahlekelwa ngqiqo. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo iingxabano zivela kwi-trifle, kwaye kuzo zihlala zibini. Ukuhlambalaza, ukuhlambalazana, igama ngelizwi, ukuxabana kukhula njengebhola leqhwa, ukuhlambalaza kuqokelela emphefumlweni. Izibini ezininzi azikhumbuli nokuba zonke zaqala njani. Njengoko bathetha, baqala impilo, kodwa bagqiba abanye. Ukuba isibini sihlala siphikisana ngaso sonke ixesha, ngoko sithande ngokungafaniyo, ukuhlukanisa, ekugqibeleni kungonakalisa umtshato.
Ungazami ukubuyisana phantsi kwesimo esicingayo, ukuphula umgca - akunakuncedo. Wonke umntu ufuna ukuthandwa njengako. Kwaye ukuba akayifumananga nentsapho, ke kunokuba nomnqweno wokuwukhangela kwenye indawo. Yaye ukuba unobungozi, kuba kutheni uhamba naye? Kungcono ukukhumbula ukuba wathandana nomlingane ngendlela ayenayo, kunye neenzuzo kunye nokuphazamiseka kwakhe, kwaye ukhumbule ukuba nawe, awuyikugqibelela. Kungcono ukuvumela wonke umntu enze ukuzincoma kwakhe-kwaye konke kulungile, kwaye akukho mntu uxabanayo.
Kwakhona kuyimfuneko ukuthobela ingqalelo omnye nomnye, qaphela, yenza izinto ezintle kumnye nomnye, uthetha amagama amnandi, ukumbamba, ukuvanga njalonjalo. Kodwa kwenzeka ukuba bobabili balindele ingqwalasela komnye nomnye, kwaye ningenzi nto ngokubuyisela. Ukulinganisela, bobabini bafuna ukufumana nokunika.
Intsapho nganye engonwabileyo ayiyonwabanga ngendlela yayo, kwaye la magama ayingqina umzekelo olandelayo ngokunokwenzeka. Esinye isikhubekiso kwintsapho siyimali. Imali idla ngokubangela ukuxabana kwiintsapho apho kukho umzabalazo wamandla. Kwiintsapho ezinjalo, imali yimiqondiso yamandla, oko kuthetha ukuba umntu onemali - kunye negunya, ofumana uninzi - nguye owona mnye. Lo mzabalazo unokuhlala ngonaphakade kwaye uvelise ukuphazamiseka kubudlelwane. Amaqabane kufuneka avumelane kunye. Umzekelo, ukuba omnye wabo ufumana imali, ngoko okwesibini kuthatha ezinye iimbopheleleko zentsapho ukuze kungabikho muntu okhubekileyo. Kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu - kufuneka uhlonelane kwaye ungenzi imali eninzi yamandla. Nangona ufumana amaxesha angaphezu kwe-10 ngaphezu kwesiqingatha sakho sesibini, kufuneka uhloniphe yena (njengomntu ofanelekileyo), njengomlingane othandekayo wokuphila, kuba mhlawumbi uncedisa into kwintsapho.
Indlela eyahlukileyo ekukhulisweni kwabantwana inokubangela ukuxabana. Nanku umgaqo ophambili ukuxoxa ngemiba yokukhuliswa kwaye uzame ukuza kwimbono efana okanye ukudibanisa.
Enye ingxaki inokusetyenziswa ngesondo. Ukuba unengxaki ebomini bakho bobulili, ungesabi ukuxoxa nabo ngeqabane lakho. Ukwazi ukuthetha ngeminqweno yakho, ukucinga, iimpawu. Ukuphuhlisa ubudlelwane obuthembayo nabanye. Ngokuqhelekileyo, iingxaki zesini zivela ngenxa yokungakwazi ukuthetha. Zama ukwenza utshintsho kubomi bakho bobulili, yongeza intsha, ulondoloze umdla omnye komnye.
"Yonke intsapho engonwabileyo ayiyonwabanga ngendlela yayo" - la magama sele abe yinto enobunzima bendawo apho. Ukuba iingxaki azilungisanga, qhagamshelana nochwepheshe. Zama ukuqonda, ukudibana kunye nothando!