Okukhethiweyo
I-syndrome yeziganeko zokugxeka "emva kwexesha", de kube ixesha liqala ukuba lukhuni kwaye ngeke linyanzele ukuba lwenze ngokukhawuleza kwaye likhawuleze - uhlobo lokuziphatha lwexesha lethu. Kwaye kuye kwabonakala ikhefu elikhethekileyo - ukugweba. Igama lifana negama elibizwa ngokuba yi-Procrustean bhedlele - into eyayiyimfuneko ukuba ufumane ubungakanani obukhulu, ngaphandle koko uya kuphoqelelwa kuyo ngokulula okanye ukucima imilenze yakho. Ivela kumagama aseLatini pro ("endaweni, phambili") kunye neqhinga ("ngomso"). Ukuziqhelanisa akukona nje ukuhlehliswa kokuqala kwimeko ngexesha lomzuzu wokugqibela, kodwa ukuzaliswa kwexesha ngaphambi kokuba kubekho izinto ezininzi kodwa ezingenasidingo. Ngoko, endaweni yokubhala ingxelo efunekayo, sifunda iindaba eziphathekayo, siphuza ikhofi, senze i-manicure, jonga kwizithombe zabahlobo e-Odnoklassniki ... Le mi sebenzi enomdla, nangona kunjalo, inokuthi idlulisele elinye ixesha ikhululekile kwishishini. Kubonakala ngathi siyazi oku, kodwa kutheni, akukho nto ihambayo? Kwaye, kulungile, siza kusebenza kuphela nomsebenzi, xa umngcipheko uququzelele kuphela kwingqumbo yabasemagunyeni kunye nokuhlulwa kwebhonasi yekota. Sivame ukulibazisa nangona impilo yethu okanye ubomi buxhomekeke kwishishini elitsha - umzekelo, siyeka uhambo ukuya kudokotela ngaphambi kokunyaniseka, kodwa kuya kuba nzima nakakhulu ukuphilisa. Kuyathakazelisa ukuba izizathu ezibalulekileyo zokumiswa, kwakunye neendlela ezisebenzayo "zonyango", azinakwazi kwiingcali zeengqondo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, inxulumene noxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo, kodwa le nto yenzeke ngengozi (ongagxininiswa okwangoku) okanye ukuxhomekeka ngokuthe ngqo akucaci. Iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuzikhupha ezichazwe kwixesha leencwadi zokulawula ziphumelela ngokuphumelelayo, kuba ukusebenzisana nabo ngokuthe ngqo kuxhomekeke kwikhono elifanayo lokungasemva kokuqala kobomi obutsha.
Isincoko esinokwenzeka kwimfihlelo yokumisa isenzo sokwakheka kwayo. Ukuthunyelwa kwimeko kwithuba kamva "kuthetha ukuba sithatha ubukho bale" emva koko ". Abantu abalingileyo balinde "ukuphefumlelwa" kweengingqi, zonke ezinye "ziimeko ezifanelekileyo zomsebenzi ... Ngamafutshane, sonke sikulindele indawo elungileyo eliza kusizisa amandla okusebenza kwisitya sesilivere. Kwaye ubuqhetseba kukuba akukho mntu ude, akukho mhle okanye awunkwantya, akakho. Kukho kuphela namhlanje kwaye ngoku. Inqakrazo kwintsebenziswano kunye nekamva ikwangoku. Xa ugqirha usebenza nomntu ongenako ukuqala ishishini elitsha okanye utshintshe into ebomini bakhe, umntu kufuneka enze i-inventory yayo yonke into ayenayo okwangoku. Yintoni umntu ayenayo, iziphi iimfuno zakhe apha kwaye ngoku, kutheni ufuna ukuthatha inyathelo elibalulekileyo kwaye uyigqiba njani ukuba le nyathelo kufuneka iyenze? Ubomi bakhe bunokutshintsha njani ngeli nqanaba? Umsebenzi oyintloko ukwamkela oko unako ngoku, kwaye ke ke cinga nje ukuba ungatshintshwa njani. Kwaye ukwamkelwa kweli xesha akuthethi ukuba sixolelane naye. Ngokuchasene noko, kulo mzekelo siqala ukubona ngokucacileyo imiphumo emibi yobomi bethu bamanje kwaye siyiqonde indlela yokuyitshintsha.
Ukuba siqaphela ukuba asihlali kwixesha elizayo, kodwa okwangoku, kuya kuba lula ukulwa nokukhawuleza. Siya kwazi ukuba akuyi kuba khona imilingo "isithukuthezi" esiza kwenza ukuba kube lula ukwenza umsebenzi, kwaye iminyuba ekulindelwe ixesha elide ezayo ayiyi kufika. Abalobi abaphumelelayo abalindeli ukuphefumlelwa, kodwa bahlale phantsi imihla ngemihla kwikhompyutha kwaye ubhale. Umsebenzi uyenziwa xa umntu owenzayo kungomzuzu wangoku, kwaye kungekhona kwikamva leengcinga, apho umsebenzi wenziwa khona, ngaphandle kwenzame yethu. Ukuqhekeza ngokuqhelekileyo kubangelwa ngabaphelelisi: ngokuklanywa komtsha ngamnye, kubandakanya ukwesaba ukuba umphumo awuyi kuba yinto efanelekileyo, kwaye kuya kufuneka ukuba ihlale ipholile. Yingakho bahlehlisela umsebenzi kude kube ngumzuzu wokugqibela. Kodwa ngenxa yempembelelo "efanelekileyo", imeko iyafana nekamva: akukho nto iphelele, ngokufanelekileyo "kukho okwaneleyo". Ukuze uqaphele oku kwaye wenze ube yingxenye yobomi bemihla ngemihla, isicwangciso socwangciso olucwangcisiweyo ngexesha elifanayo, abaninzi abagqibeleleyo baphila badinga ukunikwa iingcebiso kwi-psychotherapist.
Endaweni entsha
Ukuba kunzima ngathi ukujongana nemicimbi yemihla ngemihla, ke ithuba (okanye imfuneko) ukuqala ubomi ukususela ekuqaleni, kwindawo entsha kunye neemeko ezintsha, ngaba sisixeko esihlukileyo okanye indawo yokuhlala yomsebenzi, ingaba ixesha elide ngaphandle kwenkqubo. Okuqhelekileyo. Ungacingi ukuba into ephosakeleyo kuwe, ukuba uhambela kwindlu entsha uyanqanda ngokusisigxina ukusebenza kakuhle kunye nesondlo. Kukho umlinganiselo wokuxininisa apho nganye yimiba ibelwe izikolo kwizinga elilodwa. Ukuba ukufa komntu othandekayo kuqikelelwa kwiingongoma ezili-100, umtshato - kwi-80, kunye nokuxabana nomlingane-kwi-40, kwaye ukufudukela kwindawo entsha yokuhlala kubeka amanqaku angama-65-oku luvavanyo olunzulu. Naluphi na utshintsho lubangela uxinzelelo, kuba luquka ukuhlanganiswa kwazo zonke izibonelelo zomzimba, eziza kulungelelanisa kwiimeko ezintsha: ukuqulunqa iindlela zokuziphatha ezintsha, ukulungisa umfanekiso wehlabathi, ukulungisa i-biorhythms. Silungiselelwe ukwenzela ukuba ukwesaba kwelinye ixesha elixinezelekileyo lomelele ngakumbi kunengcinezelo ngokwayo. Le ngenye yeembonakaliso zengqondo yokuzimela: isintu esilumkileyo sinoyiko lokuba enye imeko enzima inokuyitshabalalisa, kwaye uzama ukuziqinisekisa ngokubhekiselele kwiimeko ezinjalo. Ngenxa yoko - umnqweno wethu wokugcina ukulondoloza oko kukuthi, nangona kungasifanelekanga kakhulu. Umsebenzi ongenzi Kodwa uzinzile. Indlu kwindawo engcolileyo kunye neengxaki? Kodwa eyakhe. Umyeni ophuzayo? Kodwa kukho intsapho, ngandlela-thile. Kukho ilizwi elinjalo: kulungile ukuba kusasa kuya kuba kubi njengamhlanje. Igama eliphambili kulo "lifanayo." Yilokho: into esiyifunayo kakade, nokuba ingaba yintoni embi ngathi. Ukuba kukho utshintsho oluthile, kuyakufuneka ukuba usebenzise imeko entsha, oko kuthetha enye ingcinezelo. Ukwesaba utshintsho kusemgangathweni, kwaye ukuba unayo, kufuneka uqale ukuyiqonda kwaye uzamkele ngokwalookoyiko. Okubi nakakhulu, xa liba yintloko ebalulekileyo ekwenzeni izigqibo ezibalulekileyo kwaye iqala ukucotha inkqubela yakho. Umntu uqale ukucwangciswa ukuphuhlisa, ukuvula amandla akhe. Isigaba ngasinye sonyaka siquka isisombululo seengxaki ezithile zobomi kunye nokuqokelelwa kwezakhono, ezibonelela utshintsho kwizinga elilandelayo. Ukuba kwinqanaba elithile umsebenzi awuzange ugqityiwe, ngoko awupheli kwaye unako "ukubamba" nathi kamva kamva. Ukuba imfuneko yokutshintsha into ixesha elide ayifumananga kwaye ayikhokele ekusebenziseni izenzo, ngoko ifumana ukuphuma emzimbeni-ke izifo zengqondo zikhula.
"Utshintsho olukhulu luza!"
Isidingo sokuphuhliswa kunye nokwesaba utshintsho kubambisana rhoqo, kunye nomzuzu ngamnye wobomi bethu bukhulu ngaphezu komnye. Ukufumana ulungelelaniso ngumsebenzi ovela xa kunesidingo sokutshintsha okanye nje sifumana isipho esibuhlungu ukuba singavumi, kodwa ukuvumelanisa kubi. Ayikho iresiphi enye apha, mhlawumbi, ngaphandle kwakho, akukho mntu uya kukwenza isigqibo kuwe. Kodwa kukho ezinye iindlela ezilula eziququzelela umsebenzi. Kuphawulwe ukuba abo bazama ukucinga ngekamva ngemibala yonke kunye neengxaki zihlupheke ngakumbi kwixinzelelo ezinxulumene neenguqulelo. Ngenxa yokuba inyaniso, nokuba yintoni na iingcali "ekuphatheni ingcamango" eza kuthi kuthi, zihluke kakhulu kwiingcamango. Ngaba udla ukubiza isigama esithi "andizange ndibonise oku"? Ukuba kunjalo, ngoko kufuneka usebenze ukuze ugcine amaphupha akho ngaphandle kweenkcukacha, kuphela ngohlobo lweemifanekiso: umzekelo, ungabonakali isakhiwo seofisi kunye neendleko zomphathi ukuba ufumane iinkcukacha, ukuba ufuna umsebenzi omtsha, kwaye ungacingi ukuba uxoxe nabanye osebenza nabo, ziphindaphinda. Ngokuqhelekileyo sinqandwa ukuqala into entsha kwizinto eziphilayo kubomi bethu, imilinganiselo yokwenyaniso: "Akufanele sibaleke kwindawo ethile, kodwa kwindawo ethile." Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukukhuthazwa okulungileyo kusebenza ngakumbi kunokunyusa, kwaye "ukutshata nomntu othandekayo" akunjalo konke "njengokutshata ukulahla ukunakekelwa kwabazali." Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha imeko ikhula ngendlela yokuba ukuze ufumane into entsha, kuyimfuneko ukulahla elidala. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba sithetha ngokusuka kumyeni onxilisayo, ngoko kwimeko alunandaba nokuba uya kuphi.
Enye indlela yokujamelana nesidingo esiphuthumayo sokutshintsha into ekungabikho kwezibonelelo zolu tshintsho utshintsho kwizinto ezincinci. I-hairstyle entsha okanye utshintsho lwefenitshala kwindlu iyanelisa umnqweno wethu wokutshintsha akukho mbi ngakumbi kunokuba siye kwelinye ilizwe. Ngoko asiyikufakela isifiso sokwenene sokwenene entsha, ngokuchaseneyo - siyayiqonda ngokupheleleyo, siyazikhusela kuphela kwisigqibo esikhulu kunye esinzima, apho singasilungele khona. Ukuba uqale ukucinga ngokushiya umyeni wakho - oko akuthethi ukuba isigqibo esinjalo siya kuphunyezwa. Kodwa endleleni eya kuyo (okanye ukwenqaba kuyo) unako ukwaneliseka ngokupheleleyo ukoma utshintsho olutsha lweenwele, izifundo zeelwimi zangaphandle kunye nokubhaliselwa kwidama. Ukumisa kwindlela eya kwiinguqu ezibalulekileyo yindlela yokuqonda. Isisombululo sifana ne-apula: kufuneka ivuthwe. Ngoko ke, kuya kuchaneka ukuba ungaqalanga into entsha neyomeleleyo, ngaphandle kokulinda ixesha elithile. Ikhefu ngaphambi kokuqala kobomi obutsha kuyadingeka ukuze ufumane amandla kwaye uqonde ukuba uyayithanda isigqibo esithathiweyo. Le yimiqathango yokugqibela yokuchaneka kwendlela yakho. Ukuba ukwesaba ukwenza uhambo olungalunganga, yenza ukhetho olungalunganga, khumbula into enye ebalulekileyo: ukhetho oluchanekileyo alukho nje kwimeko. Kukho ukhetho lwakho kwaye kukho imiphumo yayo, ekufuneka ithathwe ukuze usebenze nawo. Ziphulaphule, uqaphele into oyifunayo ngokwenene nendlela onokuyifumanisa ngayo, kwaye kuya kubakho ukuzingcaza ngaphambi kokuba uqalise ishishini elitsha.
Abaqeqeshi ubomi
Xa ubunzima bemizamo entsha kukuthintela ukuba uphile, kwaye awukwazi ukujamelana nawe ngxaki - iingcali ziya kuhlangula. I-psychotherapist izokukunceda ukuqonda imvelaphi yokwesaba nokuzithemba, kwaye abaqeqeshi bokuphila baya kunceda ngekrele lokubonakalisa iinjongo zobomi. Umsebenzi wokugqibela kuthi usengumhle, nangona udumo lwabaqeqeshi bokuphila lukhula imihla ngemihla. Ngokungafani ne-psychotherapy, oku kuyenziwa ngamanzi acocekileyo. Iingcali zengqondo zichangela izizathu zeengxaki, zibanomdla kwixesha elidlulileyo lomntu, kwaye uqeqesho lokuphila lujoliswe kwixesha langoku kunye nekamva. Inceda umxhasi ukuba aqonde ngokuthe ngempumelelo ikusasa elikufunayo okwangoku, ukucacisa iinjongo zakhe kunye neenjongo zokuphila, ukukunceda nokufumana nokuphuhlisa izixhobo zangaphakathi zokuphunyezwa kwazo. Umqeqeshi woBomi - kungekhona umcebisi-jikelele, akanakuphila ubomi bakho ngenxa yakho, kodwa ukukunceda ukuba uqonde oko ufuna ngokwenene. Ujonge umsebenzi kunye neQeqesho yoBomi ngale ndlela elandelayo. Okokuqala, kunye kunye nenzela imephu yexesha elizayo elifunwayo-kanye nangoko yonke imiphefumlo yobomi okanye enye kuphela. Ngokomzekelo, uphupha ukuqala ishishini lakho, kodwa awazi apho ungaqala khona kunye nento oyifunayo kule nto. Umqeqeshi unceda ukuphula iinjongo ezinkulu, umhlaba wonke kumanyathelo amancinci amanyathelo, okwenziwe ngawo okwangoku: fowuna umcebisi, hlawula ukutyelela kwiziko elifanelekileyo, memezela kwiphephandaba ... Emva koko, umsebenzi uqala: yonke imihla wenza enye okanye ngaphezulu amanyathelo amancinci, kwaye umqeqeshi wakho unokukhokelela kwindlela ekhethiweyo, inkxaso kunye nokuvavanya oko wakwenzayo namhlanje nokuba yintoni umphumo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, olo hlobo "oluthileyo" alufanelekanga kumntu wonke, kodwa ukuba uncedo oluvela kumntu obalulekileyo (kunye nolwalamano lokuthembela kufuneka lubekwe phakathi komqeqeshi kunye nomxhasi) luyimpembelelo efanelekileyo, ngoko kuya kunika amandla kuwo onke amancinci okufezekileyo ayenzayo okanye Kuya kuba sekwephuzile kwelinye elikhulu. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ngokuqinisekileyo, umqeqeshi ongcono kakhulu kuwe. Kwaye ukuqonda into elula: ukuze uqale ukwenza into ethile, kufuneka nje wenze into ethile. Isinyathelo esincinane kunazo zonke. Njengokuba isiTshayina sasendulo sasethetha ukuba, "Uhambo lwewaka eli liqala ngesinyathelo esinye." Yaye inokwenziwa namhlanje.