II Complexes
Njengoko uyazi, wonk 'umntu wenza ukhetho oluthile, uvakalelwa iimvakalelo ezithile, esekelwe kumava kunye nembono. Kodwa indima ebalulekileyo idlalwe ngumoya wengqondo kunye nokulingana kwengqondo. Kukho amadoda anzima kakhulu. Bakulungele ukuthanda, kodwa abakulungele ukunyamezela ubunzima baze bafumane ukwenqaba. Kuloo madoda, inzondo ihlaselwa kwiimeko ezingenakuthandana. Bayakuthanda umfazi ixesha elide, kodwa emva kokuzaliseka kwephupha labo, i-love turns into hate. Enyanisweni, umntu onjalo uyamthiya umntanama, kodwa yena ngokwakhe. Kodwa akakwazi ukuyivuma. Uqala ukuphumelela kulo mfazi kwiimeko zakhe kunye nobunzima bakhe, uhlakulele ngobunjani kuye, ukuze ngandlela-thile aqikelele ukungaphumeleli kwakhe. Abantu abanjalo bathathaka kakhulu emoyeni. Abaze bazame ukutshintsha into ethile. Kulula ukuba bazonde umntu kunokuba bazifumene iimigodi kwaye bazame ukuziguqula zibe izinto ezintle. Ngabantu abanjalo, utshintsho olungaqhelekanga luya kwenzeka emva koko, njengoko beqonda ukuba abanakukwazi ukufumana uthando. Untsonkotha, uthanda, ulungele-konke, ngokukhawuleza uba yi-misogynists enobugwenxa abakulungele ukuxelela ikhonkxa ngexesha labo ababengumfazi oyintanda, oyisidenge, akafanelanga ukunakwa kwabanye. Kwiimeko ezinzima kakhulu, ngaba la madoda azama ukulimaza abafazi aze abuyisele kubo. Kuhlala kuyimfuneko ukuhlala kude nabantu abanjalo.
Inyaniso yokuba i-takoyevspyshki iyithiyayo yiphumo lokungabikho koluthando ebuntwaneni, ukuthotywa kwezigebengu njalonjalo. Kuba umntu onjalo, bonke abangamthandayo bayintshaba. Nangona umfana esithandana nomfazi aze aphumelele, entliziyweni uyakholelwa ukuba uvakalelwa le miva, ufuna nje ukubona ubungqina bothando lwakhe. Kodwa ukuba oko kungenzeki, le ndoda ididekile kwaye lo mfazi uba lutshaba kwelinye. Ukongezelela, la madoda aqhubela kwabanye ukulahlekelwa kwabo kunye nokudumala. Ukuba akazange aphumelele umfazi, oko kungenxa yokuba ubuthathaka bakhe nokungabikho komlingani, ukungabi nethemba, imikhwa emibi nokungabi namandla okuziphatha ngendlela efanele umntu. Akunjalo! Akazange afumane intombi yakhe kuphela ngenxa yokuba yintsana (asebekhulile) idiot kunye neenkukhu zezinkukhu (ezihlakaniphile), iimfuno ezithintekayo nokunye njalo njalo njalo. Ngoko ke, ukuba unqabile ngokuzenzekelayo ummangalelwa wakho, oza kuwuxelisa ngokucacileyo le nkcazo, endaweni yokucinga nokucaphukisa, zama nje ukugcina kuyo ngokubanzi kwaye akunakwenzeka ukuba ungayithobeli ingxolo engayikhupha yona. Khumbula ukuba xa uqala ukuphendula, uhlaziya ukuzithemba kwakhe okanye uqinisekise kwakhona kwakhona ukuba uyindoda efanelekileyo, kwaye uyisidalwa esingenasisiseko esilungileyo, kwaye ngoko uyavuma.
Ukuchithwa kweengcamango
Kakade, inzondo ayifumaneki kuphela emva kweengxaki. Amadoda angabazonda abo bafazi abathi ngenxa yezizathu ezithile babenomdlavuza okanye abangafuni ukuhambelana neminqweno yabo. Ubomi bendoda nganye kukho indoda okanye ibhinqa lamaphupha akhe. Ngokulula kunye nexesha, siyaqonda ukuba abantu abalungileyo abakho kwaye sizama ukubathanda abo bafaneleke kakhulu kwiimfuno zethu, kodwa ngelo xesha lihlala lilodwa. Ngelishwa, abanye abantu abafuni ukuqaphela oku. Inokwenzeka ukuba, umhlobo wakho wangaphambili wayedala entloko yakhe. Emva koko wadibana nawe waza wacinga ukuba nguyena mfazi-iphupha. Kulo lonke ixesha waziqinisekisa yena nothando lwakhe. Kodwa ngelishwa, waqhubeka ethanda indlela yakhe kwaye wazama ngamandla akhe onke ukuba angaqapheli ukuba awukho. Kwaye, mhlawumbi, kwakukho imeko, ngenxa yendoda eyayisadingeka ibone imeko yokwenene, engayithandiyo. Kwaye emva kokuba utshabalalise iinjongo zakhe, unokuthi, walithatha iphupha, indoda leyo ikuthiyile. Kule meko, ingqondo yakhe iyaqondakala ngokucacileyo. Uzikhumbule ukuba unomsindo kangakanani kubantu abonakalisa izicwangciso zakho okanye bekunqanda ukuba ufikelele umnqweno wakho. Kule meko, utshabalalise umfanekiso wakho wamehlo kwaye indoda ayifuni ukuvuma ukuba uhlala ube ngumntu ohlukileyo. Hayi, uya kuziqinisekisa ukuba ibhinqa lamxolela nje eli xesha, ezenza ngathi ufezekile.
Inketho yesibini kukuba uya kuziqinisekisa ukuba utshintshile, kuba wayenomusa, unomdla kwaye ulungile, kwaye awuzange uyibone kwaye uguquke ube yinto. Kule meko, kuyafaneleka ukufumana. Ngokuqinisekileyo, kuyabuhlungu kwaye kukulimaza xa usityholwa ngesizathu esithile awukwazi ukutshala kwisakhelo somfazi ococekileyo, okhoyo kweli hlabathi alikho nje. Kodwa ke, kungcono ukuba uvuyiswe kukuba indoda ekugqibeleni yavela kwaye yayeka ukukhohlisa nje kuphela, kodwa wena. Kunzima kakhulu ukuphila, ukwazi ukuba ukukhangela umntu uthanda umntu ongenakwenzeka ngokupheleleyo. Kwaye xa uzama ukucaphukisa ukuba ucinga umfazi ohluke ngokupheleleyo, uziphathe ngokungafaniyo nomfanekiso owawudaleyo, umntu uqala ukuqulunqa izizathu ezingenangqondo zezenzo zakho, kodwa akafuni ukukholelwa enyanisweni.
Yaye ukuba uthe wamcaphukisa
Noko ke inzondo yomntu ingabangela iingxaki zakhe zengqondo kuphela. Ibhinqa ingaba yintoni isizathu. Ngoko ke, ukuba umfana wakho utshintsha kakhulu isimo sengqondo sakho, khumbula ngezenzo zakho. Yaye ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba wenze into engalunganga, akudingeki ufune isizathu. Mhlawumbi wenza ngokungathembeki, ukutshatyalaliswa okanye utshintshile. Okanye, umzekelo, bawa ngothando, kodwa baqhubeka bebonana, becinga ngenye into, kwaye beyitshintsha enye. Kule meko, ukuziphatha kwe-vego akumangalisi. Awuzange nje umlimaze, wamthuka waza wahlazisa ububungqina bakhe, kwaye le yeso sizathu esona sizathu sokuba inzondo yamadoda. Kwaye ukuba imeko leyo iqhutywe ngale ndlela, ke indlela efanelekileyo yokuphuma iya kuba ukucela ukuxolelwa kwaye uphelelwe ngonaphakade ebomini bakhe.