Kodwa, ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba udibana nalowo mntu njengomntu wanamhlanje - umkhuseli wabuthathaka? Akusiyo imfihlelo yokuba ihlabathi lethu liye lalingqineki kwaye libuhlungu kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kubonakala ngathi akekho oya kukhusela intombazana kwi-hooligans kwaye akayi kubuyisela inkokhelo ebiwe kuyininina. Ungayiqonda njani ukuba inkwenkwe yakho inako ukwenza izinto ezinjalo?
Okokuqala, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba abantu abanokwenza into ethile, abanakuze bathethe njalo ngale nto. Olu luhlobo lomlingiswa wabo. Amadoda okwenene awanqweneli ukuzithengisa ngokuxhaphaza kwabo, kuba ababoni kuzo into engavamile, engabonakaliyo kwaye ayifanelekileyo ingqalelo. Kuhluke kakhulu imeko ngalabo bahlala bethetha malunga noko ayeza kukwenza ukuba kukho impikiswano, kwaye unokungenelela kumntu osondeleyo okanye ongaqhelekanga. Aba bantu ngemibala yonke bachaza indlela abaziphatha ngayo, nganye ibinzana, yonke into yesenzo kunye nayo yonke imivimbo. Bathembisa isifungo sokuba baya kusindisa nokukhusela, nangona kungekho mntu ucela. Ngelishwa, kubantu abanjalo amagama, ngokuqhelekileyo, ayahlukana nalo mbandela. Kwaye, ukuba iintlanzi ziza kuwe kwisitrato, ngokusemandleni, insizwa enjalo iya kunika yonke into, ukuba nje yena kunye nawe akayixakeka, kwaye ekugqithiseni - uya kubalekela, amshiye intombi yakhe ukuba isombulule ingxaki ekhoyo.
Esinye isizathu sokuba indoda ikhusele ababuthathaka inceba. Enyanisweni, lo mnqophiso ngowona mfana kunokuba ubonakale ekuqalekeni. Ngokulula, abaninzi banokuzifihla ngokukhawuleza iimvakalelo zabo, ukuze bangabonakali bobuthathaka babo. Kodwa, lo mgangatho wobunjani ukhangeleka ngaphandle kwamagama. Kutyhilwa kwinto yokuba umntu akayi kuhlazisa, ukuhlambalaza nokuhlekisa abo bathathaka kuye. Loo mfana unokuba ngumntu ongenakuyilandela isihlwele ukususela kumncinane. Ukuba inkampani ihlazisa umncinane kwaye unobuthakathaka, akaze ajoyine abanye, kodwa, ngokuchaseneyo, uya kumela ukhuselo. Aba bantu abaselula abayiyo yonke imbono yesihlwele, kuba bayazi ukuba banokuzikhusela ngokupheleleyo nakubani na. Kwaye akulona nje ukulwa. Abantu abanjalo, bahlala bephethe umyalelo omhle welizwi, ukuze bakwazi ukubeka umxhaphazi endaweni yabo, nje ukuthetha naye. Enyanisweni, indoda eyinyani ayiyi kuphakamisa isandla sakhe kumfazi, kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni embi, kwaye akunandaba nokuba yintoni engalunganga ngayo. Ngaphandle kwemvakalelo, umntu onjalo uyaqonda ukuba ibhinqa libuthakathaka kwaye ukuba uyamxabela, ngokuqinisekileyo ayiyi kudibanisa yakhe, kuba nayo yonke imikhosi yemikhosi yembeko yathi ukubetha abangenakuxhatshazwa buphantsi. Yaye intombazana, eqinisweni, ayixhaswanga, kuba isikhali somntu, kule meko, ingamandla akhe, ayenayo loo ntokazi. Yingakho, ukuba umfana ephakamisa isandla sakhe ngokumelene nawe, akufanele ukuba nethemba lokuba uya kuba ngumkhuseli wabuthathaka. Inyaniso kukuba, enyanisweni, uyabuthathaka, oko kuthetha ukuba akaze akwazi ukumelana nabantu abanobunzima nangokwenyama. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba nokuba kunjalo xa ecinezelwa, akayi kukukhusela kuphela, kodwa uya kwenza konke ukuze angakhubeki kwaye akhululwe. Abafana abamele bangathembeki, kuba, kwenzeka ukuba kwenzeke ukuba ngexesha elibuhlungu uya kushiywa yedwa kwaye kunokuncedisa, ngokukhawuleza, kuya kubalwa.
Omnye umgangatho ongavunyelwanga kumntu oya kukhusela ababuthathaka bukhohlakele. Inyaniso kukuba abantu abanenkohlakalo bahlala behlutha abantu ababuthathaka ukuze baqinisekise. Kwakhona, oku kungabonakalisa ukungaqhelekanga kwengqondo, xa umntu evuya ngokubukela indlela umntu ongenakukwazi ukumnika ukulungiswa okufanelekileyo. Abantu abanjalo, ngokubanzi, abathandi izilwanyana kwaye abaze baphoswa ithuba lokubabaphathe kakubi. Ukuba ubona into efana nale nkwenkwe, cingisisa ngokungakhathaliseki ukuba kukufanele uqhubeke naye. Inyani kukuba aba bafana baba ngabakhohlisi kwiintsapho zabo. Ngaphezu koko, abafazi abahluphekileyo kuphela, kodwa nabantwana, njengababuthathaka. Oobawo babeka imisebenzi engeyiyo yonke into kwaye, xa umntwana engakwazi ukuzalisekisa, ziza nezohlwayo, ezifanelwe nobugwenxa obukhulu. Isizathu salo mkhuba sinokuba phezu kwendoda encinci ebuntwaneni bakhe, ngokuphindaphindiweyo kwaye ehlekisayo, kodwa akazange athole amandla okukhusela abaphulaphuli. Emva kokuba sele ekhulile, loo mfana uqala ukuziphatha ngendlela efana naye, enxulumene nalabo ababuthathaka kuye. Le yinto yokuziphindezela kuzo zonke iintshutshiso zabantwana. Ngelishwa, lo mfana kunzima kakhulu ukutshintsha. Ukuba ukhethe uhlobo olunjalo lokuziphatha ixesha elaneleyo, akukho nto inokutshintsha isimo sengqondo sakhe. Ngoko ke, ungacingi kakhulu ukuba ungamkholisa kwaye umenze ube ngumntu wangempela. Inokwenzeka ukuba, uya kukugxeka ngenxa yokuba ungaboni indoda kuye kwaye uhlaziye isithunzi sakhe. Isiphumo saloo mbambano sinokungqubana okanye ukuphathwa kakubi. Kungenxa yoko, ukuba uqaphela ukuba umfana uthanda ukunyamekela, ukujonga indlela ababuthathaka babandezeleka ngayo, kukulungele ukuzama ukuvavanya le meko ngokwaneleyo ngaphandle kokuzama ukulilungisa. Kwimeko xa uqaphela ukuba uyaphuma ngokwenene kwimpumelelo yakhe kunye nokuziphatha ngaphaya komda umntu oqhelekileyo anamathela kuye, indlela engcono kakhulu yokuphuma iya kusasaza ubudlelwane.
Ukuba loo mntu akaze abonise inkohlakalo kubantu ababuthathaka, akathethi malunga nokuxhaphaza kwaye uyazi indlela yokuba novelwano, kwaye emva kwakho umntu wanamhlanje ungumkhuseli wabuthathaka. Kuloo mntu unokuthembela kuyo nayiphi na imeko uze uqiniseke ukuba akayi kukushiya yodwa neengxaki. Lo mntu akaze azame ukubonakala ngathi ngumkhonto kunye neqhawe, uya kwenza nje njengoko eyala uzuko kunye nesazela somntu wokwenene.