Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantu abaqhelekileyo abanako ukuqonda ukuba kutheni umfazi ekhetha "indoda endala" xa ebona isibini, apho ebheka iminyaka engama-20 ubudala, kwaye sele sele engaphezu kwama-50. Kutheni amantombazana amantombazana aphulaphula ama-uncle abo aqolileyo, angaqondi yonke into. Kutheni abantombazana abancinci bexelisa abaontanga, kodwa bakhethe amadoda amakhulu?
Iingcamango zokuqala zendalo
Le ngqungquthela yona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kwaye ilula. Ukuba uyayibheka kwimeko yembono, ngoko-ke ingqiqo yezinto ezenziwa ngabasetyhini, ngokuchaseneyo, kufuneka ithande amantombazana amancinci enempilo enamandla kunye nemizimba eqinileyo eya kuba namandla, isibindi, inamandla, iselula kunye njalo. Kodwa ukuba ukhumbule iincwadi zeziganeko zobungqina bokuqala, ungatsho ukuba ulwimi lwesiRashiya lithetha ukuba amantombazana akhula unyaka ngaphambi kokuba abafana bafumane. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ufunda ulwazi ekugqibeleni, unokubona ukuba abafana bafumana iingqondo zabo ngokukhawuleza, bafumana intombazana ekupheleni kwebanga lesi-11 phambi kwabo ekuphuhlisweni. Mhlawumbi amantombazana aqhubeka eziva ephezulu kunamakhwenkwe aseminyaka?
Iingcamango zeSibini-Freudian
Khumbula inkolelo kaFreud, ebizwa ngokuba yi "Edipovkompleks"? Ingundoqo yale ngqungquthela kukuba wonke umntu ufuna umngane wakhe, oko kukuthi, intombazana kufuneka ibonakale njengoninazala, kunye ne-varenki kwaye ilungiselele "unyana omncinci". Ezinye iingcali zengqondo ziqinisekisa ukuba kukho enye inkathazo - "i-Electra complex". Ngokutsho kwakhe, intombazana ikhangele indoda ekhangeleka njengoyise. Umfazi ngamnye ufaniswa noyise. Umfana kufuneka abe nomlingana ofanayo, imikhwa okanye ukubonakala njengomkhwe wakhe. Ngokomzekelo, amanye amantombazana amancinci nje xa eva kumntu inkohlakalo efanayo ye-cologne, njengoyise okanye xa etshaya njenge-cigar, njengoyise. Kukho enye ingcaciso ye-Elektra complex, apho kuthiwa i-satellites ifanele ithathe indawo kayise wentombazana. Ingakumbi iqhutyelwa xa le ntombazana ikhuliswe kuphela ngumama.
Imfundiso - jikelele
Wonke umntu uyazi ukuba ukuze ube ngumfazi jikelele, kufuneka uqale utshatile ijoni. Nangona kunjalo, akusiyo yonke intokazi efuna ukulinda nokubala iinkwenkwezi kumagxa akhethiweyo. Kulula kakhulu kwaye msinya kwi-charm jikelele jikelele! Ngako oko, amantombazana kwaye efuna umntu oye wafezekisa into kwaye sele eneentsikelelo eziphathekayo emphefumlweni wakhe, ngoko ke uya kuba nakho ukunika wakhe intanda ngobomi obuhle. Nangona kunjalo, kukho enye inketho. Abasetyhini abaninzi abakucingi nje ngokuya kudla, kodwa nabantwana babo. Ukuba unokuba mnandi kunye nomntwana onothando, ngoko ke abantwana badinga into embi kakhulu. Ngaphezu koko, akukho ntombazana inokuqinisekisa ukuba ngelinye ilanga isosha liza kuba lilonke.
Iingcamango ze-Fourth - zemfundo
Wonke umntu uyaqonda kakuhle ukuba umntu oye waphila ukuze abone iminyaka ethile, okokuqala, indoda! Okwesibini, sisisilumko, sinolwazi, umntu okhaliphile. Ngoko, yinto enomdla kakhulu, kunye nayo kukho into enokuthetha ngayo, unokucela isiluleko kwaye uthembele kuyo yonke into. Ukongezelela, amadoda aneminyaka eyikhulu leepesenti zabantu abaye basebenza. Ukuba indoda phambi kwakho isatshatile amaxesha ama-6, ngokuqinisekileyo, awuyi kuba ngumfazi wayo wokugqibela. Ukuba sele sele eselisela iminyaka engamashumi amabini, awuyi kutshintsha. Ukuba lakho iqabane lizama ukufezekisa into ethile, kunzima into ethile, yayikuthanda, kwaye ngokukhawuleza enye yale mihla yamiselwa ukuba ibe ngumongameli we nkampani, ngoko unokungaqiniseki ukuba oku kukungathembeki kwinqanaba lakhe lomsebenzi. Kancinci kwaye abantwana bakho baya kuba nomongameli-ntloko wenkampani. Kodwa kunye nabantwana abancinci akuyinto elula, kufuneka uguqule ingqondo yakho, ukuba akayi kuguqula iminyaka emihlanu okanye elishumi, wakwazi ukufezekisa into ethile. Ngaphezu koko, abaninzi abantu abanamava okwaneleyo ekusebenzelaneni nabasetyhini, akunjalo kwimiba yesondo yolwalamano olubhekiselele kulo. Xa ulutsha alukho ubulumko behlabathi, ngoko abanako ukuchazela nayiphi na into, abazi ukuba bangathini le nto okanye loo nto. Ewe, imvelo inikezele ingqondo kunye nobungqina bamanye abantu, kodwa, ngelishwa, ncinane kakhulu ...
Inkolelo yesihlanu isihlobo
Ngoobani ngokwenene "amadoda amadala"? Yintoni ekufuneka ibe ngumgangatho wokuhlukanisa bonke abantu ukuba babe ngabaselula baze baqokelele? Ngokuqhelekileyo, kufuneka uqhathele iminyaka yobuqabane. Umdala wakhe kufuneka ube ngumlinganiselo wexesha lentombazana. Abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba umahluko omkhulu phakathi kwama-satellithi uneminyaka engama-5-7, ngaphandle kokuba ikhulile. Ukwahlukana okuvumelekileyo kungaphezulu kweminyaka eyi-10. Nangona kunjalo, ngexesha lethu imitshato eqhelekileyo yamabhinqa aneminyaka engama-70 aneminyaka engama-19 ubudala ithathwa njengesiqhelo. Ewe, kuyamangalisa! Kodwa unokwenza ntoni ngawo? Baye bathetha isigqibo, kwaye banelungelo kulo!
Ngoko, masibale, kutheni abafazi bekhetha amadoda amakhulu?
- Indoda ekhulileyo ngumntu oye waphala ubomi bakhe, unempahla ethile ukuba ibhinqa lingafunwa ukwenza iminyaka emininzi ngomsebenzi ogqithiseleyo okanye ulinde iminyaka emininzi de kubekho into ebonakalayo. Akukho mfuneko yokucinga ngombono ongekho. Emva koko, konke kuvele kubonakala. Ngokuqinisekileyo unomsebenzi omhle, isimo kwindawo, kwisikhundla okanye nje ingeniso efanelekileyo.
- Umntu omdala ngumntu. Uhlakaniphile kwaye unamava. Kuya kuba mnandi ngakumbi kuye kunabantwana abaselula, abasenayo "umoya" ezintloko zabo. Abafana abakucingi ukuba bafuna ukwakha intsapho, kodwa amantombazana ayifuna kakhulu.
- Ngokuqhelekileyo amantombazana e "dade" athanda imali. Indoda enjalo ayiyikuthintela into nantoni na, kodwa yintombazana encinci inokuyilungiselela iparadesi emhlabeni.Ukuhle ukuba ube ngumntwana kwaye ube kumazwe amaninzi, zama izinto ezininzi ezahlukeneyo, uthenge iimpahla eziphathekayo kwaye ugibele kwimoto ebiza kakhulu. Ngexesha elifanayo, akudingeki ukuba ulinde nantoni na, uya kunikelwa oku kwisilivere esiliva. Ngoko ibhinqa liyakwazi ukuphila olunye usuku ngaphandle kokucinga malunga noko kuya kwenzeka kuye ngomso.
- Wayenobomi obuninzi ebomini bakhe, ngoko uyazi indlela yokuziphatha ngokufanelekileyo, apho ukuvuma khona, nokuba kuphi ukubonisa umlingiswa. Unomonde, oko kuthetha ukuba uya kuxolela aze akhuthazelele ukunyanzela kwakho okuncinci kunye neenkwenkwezi. Uya kuthobeka ngokubhekiselele "kwiimpawu" zakho kunye namaqhinga. Kuya kuba ubomi obulula noxolo.
- Njengomthetho, sele sele ebenolwazi olufunekayo kunye nokudibanisa. Ukuba unqwenela, unokukunceda ukwakha ubuchule bakho, umsebenzi wakho, okanye ukulungisa ingxaki enzima.
- Abasetyhini abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba amadoda anjalo aya kuhlala aziqhenyce kwaye adumise ulutsha nobuhle. Akayi kuguqula, kuba umntwana omncinane umlindele ekhaya kwaye kubalulekile kuye ukuba abe naye. Uya kubonakala ukuba nguye kuphela onqwenelekayo, ofanelekileyo kwaye ontle xa eqhathaniswa nabanye. Nangona kunjalo, kufuneka kukhunjulwe ukuba kukho "iCasanova", eyokufumana kalula enye intombazana, kukuphela nje ukutshintsha umnwe.
- Akuyimfuneko ukucinga ukuba abantu abadala ubudala baneengxaki ngebala. Amadoda amaninzi anakho ukuphazamisa nantoni na. Ngokuqhelekileyo, amantombazana abheka amadoda angamahlwempu, kwaye azama ukuzigcina esimo kunye nokunyamekela impilo nembonakalo yabo. Ngoko ke, abanalo ingxaki ngobomi besondo. Ukongezelela, amaninzi amaninzi afuna "ukuzama" embhedeni ngumntu onamava, ukwenza ubomi obusondeleyo buhluke ngakumbi kwaye bunomdla.
- Ngomncinci unako ukuhlala uyingane, oya kumnceda aze asombulule zonke iingxaki. Ndiyabulela ngengqiqo yakhe eyilumko kunye nexhongo elinamandla, uya kuhlala ukhuselekile.
Naphezu kwazo zonke iingenelo, ndicebisa intombazana ukuba ibuke iimpazamo zolu khetho:
- Ukuba umntu sele usele minyaka, uza kululela ixesha elingakanani? Ufa wasezulwini. Uya kuba nexesha elincinci kuwe, xa sonke sishiya eli hlabathi.
- Imali elula ayinakuyenza rhoqo intombazana evuya. Wonke umntu kufuneka enze into ngokwabo, ukuze kamva bakwazi ukunambitha intle yolonwabo.
- Kwiimeko ezininzi, amantombazana azifumana ezandleni zala madoda njengamathoyizi. Unako nawuphi na umzuzu ukuba akwazi ukukhaba intombazana okanye ukumnqabela nje ukuba angabonakalisi umbono wakhe.
Kuye kuwe. Qaphela xa ukhetha. Kwaye ngokubanzi, into ebaluleke kakhulu kukubona kwimiva, inhlonipho nothando. Kwaye ubudala ... Ubudala buyingcosana encinane kwipaspoti ... akunjalo?