Ndiyavuma, oku kuhambelanayo: senza okuthile, kwaye izenzo zethu zixhomekeke ekuphuhliseni, ukuchuma kwansuku zonke kunye nolonwabo lwabantu oluthandekayo kwihlabathi kunye nexabiso elibizayo-kwaye ngelo xesha, ubuncinane belo msebenzi kulungile kwaye asiyiqondi, yintoni le - imfundo. Masizame ukuqonda.
Njengomphumo 'weengxaki zethu zokufundisa' umntwana utshintsha. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, kufuneka itshintshe. Oku kuthetha ukuba asinelisekanga ngendlela awayeyo ngayo ngoku.
Mhlawumbi, nokuba ngumntwana ngokwakhe-ngomlinganiselo wengqiqo yakhe - akavuyi. Kwaye sifuna ukuba intsana iguqule ixesha. "Oku, kwimbono yam, kuyabonakala. Ukuba sifuna ukuba abantwana bethu bahlale bephila ngendlela efanelekileyo, ke akukho kukhuliswa kuyo yonke into. Okokuqala, makhe sizame ukuqonda oko, eqinisweni, asifanelanga nabantwana. Kwaye oko kuthetha ukuthini xa bethi: "Umntwana ungumntu omdala".
Imbali engalindelekanga
Masibuyele kwiincwadi. UKornei Ivanovich Chukovsky kwincwadi yakhe edumile "Kusuka kwiBini ukuya kweZihlanu" uxela le ngqungquthela: intombazana encinci ihleli etafileni, phambi kwayo kukho i-caramel kunye nekhekhe enye ye-tshoksi. Kuyacaca!) Kucacile: i-candy ye-tsokolate yongumnandi ngaphezu kwe-caramels, kwaye yedwa, yakutsha nje, ngoku umntu oya kumntu omdala uyayidla, kwaye ayiyi kufika kum. Kara-ul! Kukhawuleza ukwenza into!
Intombazana, ephendukela kunina, ithi:
"Mama, uthabatha la mahle, kwaye ndiza kuthatha le ngcolileyo," kwaye, ukwenza i-candy of disgust, ithatha i-candy candy.
Khangela, yintoni enomdla kumntu! Ukhethe i-candy candy kungekhona ngenxa yokuzingca, kungekhona ngenxa yokuba wayesaba: ngokukhawuleza omnye umntu uyayidla, kodwa intombazana ayifumananga - hayi! Wayekhathalela umama. Kuvela ukuba i-candy ye-ts'oyilethi ayinakuphulukisa - ingcolile. I-caramel-enemibalabala, enemibala-emihle. Kwaye ngoku i heroine, ukuzibingelela, ngokunyaniseka kudla i-candy "engcolile" kwaye ishiya abantu abadala abakhulu!
Yiyiphi ubuchule! Kuphi ububele!
Kwaye ngoku siyakukhathalela yonke into. Intombazana, ngokuqinisekileyo, iyayazi ukuba i-candy ye-ts'oyilethi iyimfucu, i-caramel engcono, ngoko iyakuthatha kakuhle, kwaye umama uyishiya ngakumbi. Kubonakala ukuba, isenzo somntwana sishukunyiswa ngumnqweno wokuzilibazisa, kungakhathaliseki ukuba unomdla kunye neemfuno zabanye (kunye nabantu abasondeleyo): ngokuqhelekileyo sibiza lo mgobo wobugovu. Kuyaziwa ukuba i-psyche nokuziphatha kwezilwanyana kulawulwa ngumnqweno wokuzonwabisa. Ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba intombazana evela kumzekelo kaKornei Ivanovich Chukovsky yinto ephilayo nje? Zibafana njengezilwanyana? Ngona ndlela, yindlela. Nangona kunjalo, ngokungafani nesilwanyana, umntwana, ngendlela ethile, uchaza (uyaziqonda) ukuziphatha kwakhe, kwaye ngokuchanekileyo kuba uyichaza, uyakwazi ukuziphatha ngale ndlela.
Ukuba intombazana yaqonda ukuba iinjongo zakhe zimbi, akayi kukwenza oko. Kodwa akazange aqonde oku.
Into ethethwa yintombazana eneneni yinto "ingqungquthela yangaphakathi." Ngokuqinisekileyo, amazwi akhe ayengabhekiswa kwabanye, kodwa yena ngokwakhe. kunye nabantu abadala (ubuncinci, abantu abakhulayo bezinto eziphilayo).
Yintoni eyaqiniseka ukuba intombazana yona? Ukuba isisusa sakhe - ukuthatha i-candy candy - ilungile, ihloniphekile. Ekuboneni kokuqala, iingxabano zakhe ziyinto engaqhelekanga: i-candy ye-ts'oyilethi eninzi kakhulu, ibiza kakhulu, iya kuba "iyinqambi." I-caramel esincinci "inhle." Kodwa ukuba ucinga encinci, kuyacaca: ngubani okhangelayo - oya kuhlala efumana. I-heroine encinci idinga ukufumana into yokuba i-caramels iya kuba bhetele kunekheyiti yetshokoleta-yiloo nto ayifumene nayo. Enye into kukuba ukubonakala akuyiyona into ephambili kwiiskese. Azingenzelwe oko, ukuzibonga, kodwa kusekhona-ukuze zidle. Kodwa le ntombazana yayidinga ukuba idle i-candy, kwaye iqinisekise ngokwabo ukuba iphile kakuhle, idle le candy. Oko wakwazi ukukwenza. Lo mntwana ngumntu, kungekhona isilwanyana. Le ndlela yokugqibela ayifuni ukuzingca into. Musa ukucinga ukuba izenzo zakho zilungile kwaye zizukileyo. Umntu - udinga. Le nkohliso ibonisa ukuba umntwana uyindoda, ufuna ukuzithobela, ufuna ukuba nguMntu. Kodwa akasazi. AmaTshayina mandulo athi: "Yonke into ekhoyo kwizilwanyana ikhona kumntu, kodwa akusiyo yonke into ephakathi kwindoda."
Phonsa ipaka yezinja iziqwenga ezimbalwa zenyama. Ngamnye uzama ukubamba umntu ongcono, ngaphezulu. Uya kufumana unamandla kunabo bonke, owona mkhulu kunabo bonke, abangendawo. Kodwa inja inqwenela ukuwubamba iqhekeza elimnandi. Ngoko zonke izilwanyana ziziphatha, kuba ziyimvelo. Enyanisweni, i-heroine encinci yeChukovsky yaziphatha ngendlela efanayo. Kodwa wakwazi ukwenza njalo, ukusuka kwimbono yomntu, yinto embi kakhulu, kuphela ngenxa yokuba wazikhohlisa. Ndaziqinisekisa ukuba ukunyanzela kwakhe akukratshi nonke, kodwa kuyisishukumisayo esihle. Ngaba lo mbonakalo kubantwana? Hayi, kubaluleke kakhulu!
Ingaba kwenzeka ukuba inkwenkwe iziphatha kakubi, kodwa ayiqondi ukuba wenza into engalunganga ngokuzikhohlisa? Ewe, kaninzi. Nazi amabini ama-alwa alwa: i-mutuzhy enye kwaye ihlwaywe, kunye nokukhaba, zininzi zihamba. Yiza. Sahlula. Kwaye siva ntoni? Bobabini bacaphuke kakhulu-hayi, kungekhona ngokwabo-ngomnye nomnye. "Yaye yena wayengowokuqala ukuqala!", "Akanginika imoto!" (Ngoko ngamanye amaxesha uphenduka ukuba "ulwaphulo-mthetho" aluzange lunike umshini wakhe wokubhala: kutheni, ndiyamangalisa, ngaba bekufanele awanike?), "Uyazibiza ngokwakhe!". Ndiyinto ecocekileyo neyobuhle, kwaye umsindo wam ubulungisa, kwaye uyasola into yonke. Ndicinga ukuba ufuna ukuchasa: ewe, phantse bonke abantu abadala baziphathe! Ewe, ngokwenene. Nangona kunjalo, oku akusiyo ingqondo nangokomoya - kodwa kukhula kuphela. Okokuthi, "abantwana abasakhulayo", "abantwana abadala". Kukho ezininzi kwiindawo zanamhlanje. Abantu abadala abakwenyani abafana noko.
Yintoni efanelekileyo
Impembelelo yezinto eziphilayo: ukuhaha, umnqweno wokuzonwabisa ngokunyamezela abanye, umsindo, impindezelo, umona - uhlala uhola indlela yokuziphatha komntu omdala. Kwaye akunandaba nokuba ngumdala kangakanani. Kwaye nendima yomntu "mna" kule ngxaki iyancitshiswa ukuba ikhohlise: ukuqinisekisa ukuba zonke izenzo zam zilungile kwaye zizukileyo.
Le yimeko yokungahlanjululwa komntu. Omnye uKornei Ivanovich uChukovsky uxelela ngelinye inkwenkwe elaliziqhayisa ngokuthi: "Kwaye ndinothuli oluninzi kweli lizwe!" Enye enye inye yayithi: "Ndiye ndixhaphaze embhedeni wam!"
Kuvela ukuba ukuzimela komntwana kuhambelana. Ngokubhekiselele kwabanye abantu, kwaye, okokuqala, abantwana (kuba ngabantu abadala, abantwana abaziqhathanisi ngokwabo, beqonda ukuba akuncedi kubo: abadala banamathuba amaninzi). Ukuba ndigqithise ngaphezu kwabanye, ndiyazihlonela. Kuyavela, umntwana uzuze ukuzithemba, ukuthoba abanye.
Ngaphezu koko, akayidingi naziphi na izizathu zokuzihlonela. Into enokuyifumana ngokuqinisekileyo. Umzekelo, unemibhede yokulala - kwaye enye ayifuni. Hayi! Unothuli oluninzi kweli lizwe - kwaye ngaphantsi kwabanye. Hayi!
Kwaye kuzalwa (njengokuba, ngokwenene, zonke iimfuno zethu zezinto eziphilayo kunye zokomoya, okubizwa nje ngokuba "iimfuno zentlalo" - umzekelo, imfuno ye-Jacuzzi - ifunyenwe.) Kakade, asinelisekile ukuba umntwana uya kuwanelisa ubomi bakhe ngokuziqhayisa okanye kwintlawulo yokuthotywa kwabanye abantu.Kuba oku kubalulekile ukuba uqonde ukuba "ukukhula" okanye "ukungahlambuluki" komntu kuluvo lweenjongo .Umntwana (okanye umntu omdala) akakwazi ukuziphatha ngokungafaniyo, akwazi ukuba, kwaye akafundile, n ka ingabi ngumntu oqolileyo kuwo into nganto kufuna oku. Agree, ukuba akukho masifundise kangangoko sinako usana ukudlala ipiyano, bekuya kuba engaqhelekanga ukuba yenziwe kuye ukuba ahlale phantsi ipiyano kunye udlale "Appassionata" nguBeethoven? Ngokufanayo, imeko yendlela yokuziphatha komntu okanye umhlaba weemvakalelo zakhe.
Amagama ahlukanisayo
Njengoko sifumene, into ebalulekileyo kunamnye kuthi kukuzuza ukuzithemba. Kodwa lo umbuzo: njani umntu omdala uzuze ukuzithemba? Impendulo iyabonakala: ngenxa yokuthotywa kwabanye, ukuziqhayisa, ukuzikhohlisa. Yaye umntu oqolileyo uzuza njani ukuzithemba? Ngenxa yokufezekiswa kwangempela (umzekelo, emsebenzini okanye kwintsapho), ukugcinwa ngokungqongqo kwemilinganiselo yokuziphatha. Yaye yintoni ekhulisayo? Kucacile ukuba ukukhuliselwa kukuba, ngenxa yoko umntwana wethu ngokuthe ngcembe uba ngumntu okhulileyo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukukhuliswa kuyisayensi ebalulekileyo. Kubazali abasanda kuqalisa ukuyiqonda, ndifuna ukunqwenela umonde wokunyamezela nokunyamezela ekuphumeleleni iinjongo ezintle. Ukufumana izisombululo ezichanekileyo kusinceda ukuqonda kwehlabathi kunye nothando olunyanisekileyo kumntwana wakho.