Kwabanye abantu, uthando nothando alukho umahluko. Abanye bahlala bebadibanisa, bengayiqondi ukuba kuyingozi kangakanani ukuba bahluke. Ukuva uthanda, bacinga ukuba olu luthando. Oko kutshabalalisa ngokukhawuleza. Ngenxa yokuba umonde ongalawulwa ungadla umntu. Ngenxa yoko, abantu balahlekelwa iingqondo zabo, ngamanye amaxesha bafe.
Ngomxholo othi "U-Ozhegova" uthando luchaza, njengengqiqo eqinileyo yothando, ukungabi nantoni nangothando. Umdla, njengomnqweno onzulu. Ezi nkcazelo ezimbini eziphikisanayo ziya kusinceda siqonde le miva. Ngale nkcazo kucacile ukuba uthando lusekelwe kubuhlobo obusondelene, ngelixa uthakazelo luphela kuphela kwisifiso. Ukongeza, bahluke kwiintlobo zobudlelwane.
Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kunzima ukwabelana ngothando kunye nothando, kuba umonde ungaba khona phambi kwothando. Masizame ukuhlalutya ubudlelwane phakathi kwothando nothando. Oku kuya kusinceda sifunde ukwabelana nabo.
Uthando lubonakaliswe njani kubuhlobo phakathi kwabantu? Xa uthando luhlala ebudlelwaneni babantu ababini, ngamnye wabo uyayixabisa kakhulu inomdla kunye neminqweno yomnye. Impembelelo yothando ibonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo: i-initiative ngexesha lakho lokuzikhethela, izenzo kunye namazwi. Ngethuba lokuthanda lo mbhangqwana uziphathe kakuhle, uhlale ukhumbula iimvakalelo zabo. Umlingani ngamnye ubeka iqabane lakhe ngaphezu kwakhe. Ngezo zihlobo, isi sibini sichitha ixesha labo, ngokusekelwe ekuthandweni kunye nentlonipho. Isenzo ngasinye siyaqwalaselwa kwaye sikhethwe ngokuqaphela okukhulu, ngokuqwalasela iimvakalelo zeqabane. Xa ukungavumelani, bobabini amaqabane bafuna ukuvumelana, bafumane ukungqinelana okanye isisombululo esifanayo.
Ekugqibeleni, ubudlelwane obusekelwe othandweni, njengomthetho, bahlala behlala. Kungenxa yokuba ubukho bothando buvumela ukuba isibini sidlule kuzo naziphi iingxaki kunye nobunzima obuvela phakathi kwabo. Ukucinga kunye nenkxalabo kukunceda isi sibini sikhule, kwaye sinyamezele ukuvavanywa kwexesha.
Ubonisa njani ubuhlobo obusondeleyo? Ulwalamano olusondeleyo alukwazi ukuvelisa umphumo ongalunganga. Kodwa abanako ukuzithemba kwaye banomdla njengothando. Njengothando, ukunyamezela kuchaphazela ubudlelwane, izenzo kunye namazwi abantu.
Uhlobo oluphambili phakathi kwentshiseko nothando-kulwalamano lwamaqabane othando lubeka ulonwabo lomnye ophakamileyo kunabo, kwaye ngendlela enomdla abafuna ukufezekisa iminqweno yabo, bawabeke kwindawo yokuqala kunye nendawo.
Ubungqina obukhulu, obukhoyo kubuhlobo obusondeleyo, buya buthathaka kwaye buchaphazela ngokupheleleyo zonke izenzo kunye nobudlelwane ngokwabo. Ngethuba luthando olunyanisekileyo isibini sifuna ukufumana ingcamango kunye nesisombululo apho bobabini baya kuvuya, ngobudlelwane obusondeleyo, ngamnye umlingane uzimisele ukufezekisa iminqweno yakhe, kungakhathaliseki ukuba iimvakalelo zabo, kunye nokuba uya kuba uvuyo.
Ubuhlobo bokugqibela bobudlelwane obusondeleyo bude bude bubudlelwane ngokwabo. Ngenxa yokuba ubudlelwane obusondeleyo bukhona kuphela ngenxa yothando kunye nomnqweno. Yaye xa iinjongo zifezekile, umnqweno uphelalala, kwaye iqabane lingasayi kuba lunqwenelekayo. Ngaphandle kwenkanuko, iimvakalelo ziqala ukutshabalalisa nokutshatyalaliswa.
Ngaphezu koko, iimpawu zobunxulano obusondeleyo - ukuzingca nokungahloniphi - kukhokelela ekubudlelaneni emfutshane kunye nomsindo.
Uthando alukwazi ukuba khona ngaphakathi kwentshiseko. Kwaye unomdla unokuhlala uthanda ngaphakathi. Ukunyamekela akukwazi ukuquka uthando. Kungenxa yokuba into ebalulekileyo yobugovu ayivumeli ukuba singene emthandweni njengento ebalulekileyo ekuthandeni. Ukubeka iminqweno yakho ngaphezu kweminqweno yabalingani kususa ukwakha uthando.
Kodwa ubukho bezondelelo kulwalamano luthando luvame ukubonakaliswa ngumnqweno oqhelekileyo wokuba sisondele kumlingane. Nangona ingadluli uthando, le nxalenye enempilo yolwalamano kwaye inokukhokelela ekuthandeni kunye nokuqhagamshelana okunamandla phakathi kwabalingani.
Ukuhlukana kothando kwintando kunokuba nzima kwiindlela ezininzi. Kodwa kufuneka sihlale sikhumbula umda phakathi kothando nothando - ulwalamano oluthando lusekelwe ekuziphatheni nasekunyamekeleni, ngelixa uthakazeliso lubonakala ngokuzingca nokunyaniseka. Kodwa awukwazi ukuchasana nabanye.