Ukudibana nomfazi omtsha obengomdla kumntu kubonakala engenakwenzeka emphefumlweni wamadoda nabasetyhini. Kwaye nantsi ke, intlanganiso ekulindelwe ixesha elide: ukutshatana, izipho, isithandwa .... Kubonakala ukuba le nwaba, kodwa kuthatha unyaka okanye amabini, xa indoda iya kulwahlula nomfazi owayebonakala ehlukile kwaye engenakwenzeka. Yintoni kwakhona eyenza enze isenzo esinjalo, into engafanelekanga kumfazi, kutheni olu lwalamano aluzange luchule nalo mfazi?
1. Mhlawumbi lo mfazi wayengumhlobo ombi, engakwazi ukuxhasa incoko, kunye nokuhlala ixesha elide okanye uthetha kwimixholo yamhla ngemihla. Mhlawumbi ebudlelwaneni bezesondo, umfazi omtsha akazange amthobele . Ezi zinto zimbini: ukwaneliseka ngokwesondo kunye nokukwazi ukugcina intetho-ukudala ubudlelwane obude obude kubaluleke kakhulu. Namhlanje, abaninzi abasetyhini banelisekile, banengqiqo, kwaye amadoda ayithandi abafazi abanobuqili kunabo : oku kuthoba isithunzi samadoda. Ngoko ke, abafazi abaneleyo bahamba ngexesha labo bodwa. Abayithandi kakhulu "ukufunda nokubhala" kwisicwangciso sesondo seentombi: le ndoda iyatshitshisa kwaye iholele kwingcamango yobomi bokuziphatha okubi komfazi osele ngaphambili.
2. Xa umntu efuna ukuhlukana nomfazi, uhlala emxelela ukuba abavumelani nabalinganiswa (eli gama lisoloko lisiva enkundleni apho kuthethwa khona ityala lomtshato). Ngokuqhelekileyo loo ntokazi inokuqala ikwazi ukufaka ingxabano, qalisa ingxabano, zithetha amagama amaninzi amanqabileyo awayi kuba yindlela yokubuyela kuyo kuba akayi kudala intsapho kunye noxolo, ukuqonda kunye nobungane phakathi kwamalungu onke entsapho. Abasetyhini abaninzi abaqondi ukuba ukuze ulondoloze intsapho kunye nolwalamano kunye nentanda ethandekayo kufuneka bakwazi ukuwamkela , ukudibanisa. Umfazi ophethe lo bugcisa ubizwa ngokuba yingqiqo.
3. Indoda iya kufuneka ifike kumbono wokwahlukana nomfazi, ukuba akayiqhayiya, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha unamahloni okuphuma naye kunye nabahlobo bakhe nabahlobo ngenxa yokuziphatha okungafanelekanga komhlobo (ngakumbi ngokuphathekayo kotywala).
4. Ukuhlukana nomfazi akunakwenzeka, ukuba umntu ngokukhawuleza ufunde ukuba intombi yakhe yayithandwa ngabanye abahlobo bakhe.
5. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo ebomini umntu uya kumshiya umfazi ukuba uyambona imihla ngemihla ekhaya njengowesifazane onamahloni ongafuni ukuba mnandi kuye (kungekhona nje kwabanye). Umntu ongenamthunzi, iinwele ezinobisi, isambatho esingcolileyo kukhokelela umntu kwimbono yokwahlukana nalo mfazi, ukuba ngelo xesha, ngokuqinisekileyo yena ngokwakhe uhlambulukile kwaye ulungele kakuhle.
6. Ibhinqa kufuneka ikwazi ukuba umntu ongenakho isikhumbuzo, ngokukhawuleza kwentliziyo nomphefumlo, unike izipho , uthenge iintyatyambo kuphela xa emthanda kakhulu . Ukuba oku kungenzeki kwaye kufuneka simkhumbuze oku, ngoko akukho mthandayo. Emva koko kwiimfuno zakho ungawudluli, ukuze ungamcaphukisi kwaye ungabi kukunyanzela ukuba uyingxenye.
7.Muzhchina, (ngaphandle kokungaqhelekanga, ukuba uthanda kakhulu umfazi kwaye uyamxabisa), akaxoleli umfazi ochasayo, owamkelayo, uyamshiya.
8. Kukholelwa ngokunyanisekileyo ngabafazi abaninzi ukuba umntu angagcinwa esondelene ngokubeletha umntwana (ngaphandle koko, kwenzeka). Ubomi bubonisa ukuba amadoda amaninzi akakwazi ukugcina abantwana kufuphi nomfazi ongathandekiyo: baya kukhetha ukunceda abantwana kude nomfazi.
Ukuba ibhinqa isilumko, isondo esilumko, sikwazi ukuvuma ngexesha lokuxabana, ukunyamekela, kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthanda indoda, ngoko ayiyi kuyingxenye nayo.