Ngendlela, ukuba ucinga ngako, lo mbuzo awukho ngaphandle kweengcali zefilosofi kwaye unokuba omnye kunye nokwenza okwenziweyo "Yintoni enokuyenza?" Kwaye "Ngubani na omele?"
Incazelo yowesifazane ococekileyo (ukuba ungadideki nomfazi ococekileyo!) Kwiixesha ezahlukahlukeneyo kunye neenkulungwane zazibonwa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, yayixhomekeke ngakumbi ekulawuleni ukuziphatha ngokubhekiselele ekuziphatheni kwaye, ngokwenene, ukuziphatha kakubi "kwamadoda". Kodwa ixesha laqhubeka, imibono yatshintsha ... Kwaye ngoku, umzekelo wowesifazane uphinda umele into engacatshanganga.
Ngokumalunga nomfazi ococekileyo, abalimi bathi kancinci kwaye bengacacanga, kuba bona, njenge-stale, i-mundane kunye ne-pragmatic, bayazi kakuhle into engekhoyo. Nangona kunjalo, oku akubathinteli ukuba baxoxe ngeerameters of these "ideals", kuba amafilosofi enyukliya axoxa ngazo zonke iintlobo ze-oddities apho, njengama-postitron kunye nezinye i-antimatter, ezisekho ngokwenyama!
Ngesizathu esithile, kukho uluvo lokuba ibhinqa elungileyo okanye ngokubanzi kufuneka libe sisidenge, okanye uthethe ngoxolo, ucolile kwaye uncinci-mncinci. Ndikhumbule i-anecdote malunga namadoda amabini, omnye wabo okhononda malunga nomfazi obonayo, kwaye okwesibini - kwi-sprorow yowesifazane: "... Ndiya kufika ekhaya, kwaye uya kunika i-slippers, aze athathe iphephandaba, ahlale esihlalweni, kwaye ehleli eceleni kwakhe aze ahlalise, ikhuphe, ikhuphe ... ngoko iya kuba! "
Ngoko kutheni abantu besabela ngokukrakra ukuba banqwenela ukuthetha. Konke malunga neenkqubo ezikhethekileyo zesimiso senzwa. Incwadi yase-Australia yamantombazana, epapashwe kuma-1960s kubafundi besikolo esiphakamileyo, ithi: "Ungangeni kwiintetho kunye nomyeni wakho, ungakulibali ukuba ukhathele kakhulu, oko kufuneka ahambe kuyo yonke imizuzu kwaye yonke imihla enkonzweni yakhe, uyamondla, kwaye emva koko, xa efunda iphephandaba, unokuzama ukuthetha naye. " Ndicinga ukuba ininzi lethu inokuyilingisa le mabango, bathi, sisebenza kwakhona, sinoxinzelelo, kwaye abanye bafumana ngaphezulu. Kodwa, ntanda wam, cinga: amadoda angabantu abangaphelelekanga. Ngaba ubonile ubuncinane kanye ukuba amadoda ayenze ngokufanayo enze izinto ezimbini kakuhle. Ngoko ngokuphumla - abakwazi ukuphumla ngexesha elifanayo kwaye baphulaphule loo ngqungquthela yeendaba abafazi abazama ukuzenza ngazo ngokusuka kumnyango. Ngoko ke, sinokuthi ngokukhuselekileyo ukuba ibhinqa elifanelekileyo limele lithethe kuphela kumntu, kwaye emva kokuba yena ngokwakhe ebonisa kwaye ephumla.
Ngoku ke masicinge ngento efanelekileyo yowesifazane ofanelekileyo. Okokuqala, ibinzana elithi "Uhlakaniphile," "Uyamangalisa," "Ndiyaqhayisa kuwe," njalo njalo, ngendlela efanayo, ayikho into enqabileyo. Awukwazi ukuphazamisa iphariji ngeoli! Amadoda ngokwenene abambelela ekunyeleni, akunakuze uqiniseke. Kwaye ukuphakamisa ukuzithemba kwabo kuphakama, xa bekulungele ukuyeka ukuqonda. Kuyisono ukuba singayisebenzisi kakuhle loo meko! Kodwa apha into eyona nto ayiyikuyidlula, kwaye kwicala, ngelishwa, ayikwazi ukuvalelwa ngabasetyhini abaninzi.
Enye ibinzana, ngoko ukutsho ulungelelwano lwe-hook ye-flattery yi-banal "Ndivakalelwa njani ngawe". Esoloko evakalelwa kukuba ulungelelanisa ithemba elithethwe kuye, umntu akanakwenzeka ukuba afune "isabelo esingcono."
Ukuba uhlalutya ngokucophelela into enokuthi abesifazana bafanele bathethe, inqaku elithi "ngokuqinisekileyo" liwela kwisilinganiselo segama elithi "Unomama omhle (-e, -ye). Yena / wakhupha indoda yangempela. " Ukuba siqonda, sonke sizalwe kwaye sikhuliswa ngabazali, kwaye kubonakala ngathi "ookhokho" bethu kubaluleke kakhulu, KUNYE! Sibuyela kumbuzo wokuzikhukhumeza kwamadoda ...
"Ekubeni wenza njalo, akukho mntu wenzayo!", "Andizange ndibe nento enjalo!", "Thixo, kukuhle kangakanani kuwe" ... Nangona kungenjalo, malunga negama lokugqibela elivela kwindoda efanelekileyo, mhlawumbi ndandivuyiswa. Indoda ayilungele ukunyamezela embhedeni nabani na ongeyonto, NAKUPHELEKILE ... Kwakhe "ideni", indoda eyinyani uyikosi kunye noothixo, kwaye umfazi ofanelekileyo makangqina ngale nto (ngamanye amaxesha kungekhona kuphela kumntu, kodwa ngokwakhe!).
Ibhinqa elungileyo lithetha ngendoda yakhe ihlala ilungile kwaye ilungile. Ngokombono we-48% wabameli abaxoxwa ngodliwano-mthetho ngesondo esomeleleyo, umfazi ofanelekileyo ekuqondeni kwabo kufuneka athethe izinto ezihlakaniphile kuphela, kodwa ... abonakala bengenangqiqo kuneqabane lawo. Enyanisweni, kuphela i-9% yabaphendulayo bayavuma ukuba banomdla wokunyaniseka komnxibelelwano.
Umfazi ofanelekileyo kufuneka athethe indoda: xelela umphathi ukuba umhlobo wakhe uxakekile kwaye akakwazi ukusebenza ngeCawa, kuba ungumsebenzi oxabisekileyo (apha, akukho mntu uvumelekileyo); Tshela umama wakhe-uninazala, ukuba yonke into igcinwe kuye kuphela; Tshela abahlobo bakho ukuba udlala kwimidlalo (apha, ubukela imidlalo yebhola, elele embhedeni kunye nephephandaba kunye nebhotile yobhiya). Kufuneka kube luhlobo "lomlomo" wensindiso, indawo yokukhusela ebunzima beli "hlabathi."
Ibhinqa elifanelekileyo kufuneka lithethe kakuhle. Kwaye ukuhlambalaza emlonyeni wakhe kungaba yindumiso. Akufanele akhulume ngaye, ngenxa yokuba zonke iimpumelelo zakhe ezincinci ziyindoda yokuphumelela.
Kwaye ekugqibeleni "inqaku elifutshane" malunga nokuba ngabafazi besifanelekileyo bathethe ntoni, ndingathanda ukufaka ibinzana elivelelwe kwelinye lamhlobo bam: "Ibhinqa elungileyo alifani nam. Ndikunye - okulungileyo! ". Ngako oko unokukwazi, ngabo, "abafazi abalungileyo", uye kwibhayibhile, uxoxwe ...