Umama ngenye yexesha eliphambili lobomi balo mfazi ngamnye. Ukuba ngumama ulungile, kodwa kungekudala okanye kamva, ngaphambi kokuba ngamnye umfazi, ngaba umbuzo othi "uphulaze" kumntwana okanye ...?
Emva kwexesha, ngamnye umfazi uphendula lo mbuzo. Abanye besetyhini bakhetha umsebenzi, kwaye nangaphambi kokuba umntwana athathe iinyanga ezimbalwa ubudala baqeshe umntanini okanye bamnike emanini omhla, ngexesha elifanayo babuyela emsebenzini kwaye banomzamo ophinda kabini baqala ukwenza imali yokuzilungisa ngenxa yokuntuleka kwemali.
Abanye, ngokuchaseneyo, baya kummiselo baze bazibophezele ngokuzeleyo kumntwana, ngokusoloko belibale ngokwabo, kwaye kaninzi bavelise ukubonakala kwabo. Kufuneka kuqondwe ukuba umntwana, nokuba ngumncinci, ufuna ixesha lakhe, angayichitha yedwa, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kuyangalisa kangakanani, kuba abantwana, abazali ababencedisa kakhulu kwaye bawabeka ebomini babo ubomi, ngokuqhelekileyo bakhule bengabandeli.
Kukho ukhetho lwesithathu - ngaba ngaba besetyhini abazami nje ukuba ngaba oomama abalungileyo, kodwa badla ngokwabo ngexesha elifanayo kwimiba ethile, njengommiselo, abanalo, kodwa kuvela, kubaluleke kakhulu - musa ukujijoza kule mibini iziqalo.
Ingqiqo yecala phambi komntwana kungekudala okanye kamva kuvela kuwo wonke umama, kwanona ozinikele ngokupheleleyo kuye. Ngenanto akazange amkele, akazange amkele, akhokhe ixesha elincinane, njl. ukwenzela ukuba kwiimvakalelo zecala phambi komntwana akukho mntu okhuselekayo kwaye ngezinye ixesha le wayini ayinangqiqo.
Umva wecala luhlobo lomqondiso wokuthi into ephosakeleyo, iyakwenza isenzo (ukumisa imeko ekhonkco, ukulungisa okanye uqale ukwenza ngendlela ehluke ngokupheleleyo). Ukuba umntu ulungisa imeko acinga ukuba ayiphutha, ngoko ityala liyacima. Ukuba imeko yinto echaseneyo, ngoko ityala liba yintsholongwane. Ingqiqo yecala ikhula kwaye iba yintyantyambo, inqubo engenamsebenzi yokutya, okukhokelela ekungenanto eyakhayo.
Ingqondo yomama yecala lokunciphisa inxaxheba kwaye iyanciphisa umonakalo wobazali.
Oluvakalelo luvela emva kokubeletha kwaye luhlala lufudumala ngezihlobo, lihlambalaza umama osandul 'ukwenziwa ngokungahambisani kakuhle nezibophelelo zakhe zomama.
Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuyiqonda le ntliziyo kwaye uqale ukulwa nayo, kuba ityhatya ubuhlobo phakathi kwabazali nabantwana. Ukuze unqobe iimvakalelo zecala phambi komntwana, kwanele ukwamkela ngokwakho ukungapheleli kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba uyamkele. Hayi, oomama abalungileyo abakho kwaye oku kuyinyaniso, kodwa unokuba ngumama, unina olungileyo. Kufuneka uvumele ukuvuma impazamo. Kufuneka ufunde ukuba ungaxoleli njani abanye kuphela, kodwa nawe uqale kuqala. Wonke umama unamaxesha xa ehla. Ukuba oku sele kwenzekile, ngoko kufuneka ufumane amandla okuxolisa kumntwana.
Khumbula ukuba umntwana akadingeki ukuba achithe ixesha elide, indima ephambili apha yindlela ochitha ngayo naye ngeli xesha. Akunandaba nokuba iiyure ezimbalwa okanye imizuzu embalwa, konke malunga nomgangatho. Ukuba ungumama osebenzayo, kufuneka uchazele umntwana ukuba uxakekile kwaye uya kukwazi ukumnika ixesha emva koko. Ngoko uya kufundisa umntwana indlela yokuphatha ixesha ngokufanelekileyo, kwaye oku kuya kuba luncedo kuye ngelixa elizayo. Ucwaningo luye lwabonisa ukuba abantwana abakhulisa kwintsapho apho umama asebenza khona kwaye akazange anike abantwana ithuba elide, kodwa ixesha elinikezelwa abantwana lalingelungelelaniso kwaye liphelele, phantse lingazange linyanzeliswe ngumama kwaye landa ngokugcwele.