Ukuzixhalaba kukugula kwengqondo yomntu

Zininzi zezifo zifunwa ngesihloko esithi "ukugula kwekhulu lama-21". Ngethamsanqa, ininzi yabo iphilisa. Ngaphandle kwedwa, isifo esithathelwanayo sempucuko, esesantyaba sesibhubhane sichaphazela abemi bezixeko ezinkulu.

Kwimvelaphi yale mvakalelo, malunga nesizungu - ukugula kwengqondo yomntu wodwa kunye ngokwahlukileyo, iindlela zokusinqoba esiza kukuxelela.

Kubonakala ngathi xa abantu behlangene phantsi kophahla lwesixeko esikhulu, abantu bafanele bave bunye. Kutheni abantu beemimandla yamadolophu bevakalelwa kukuba uyedwa? Okuphakamileyo kwinqanaba lokuphuhliswa kwempucuko, abantu abanomdla ngakumbi banesizungu kwaye baninzi inani lokuzibulala. Ngaphambili, ukuze kuphile, kwakudingeka ukuba ube nomxholo oqhelekileyo wobomi (abahlali bazingela ndawonye ama-mammoth, bahlanganisene, benza imiziki yemidumo). Abantu, ngokwenene, basinda kuphela kuba babumbene. Namhlanje, imali, ulwazi, izimanga zesayensi kunye nekhnoloji kusenza sizimelele kwabanye. Mhlawumbi umntu othile kuthile wenza into ethile, kodwa, njengommiselo, ukude. Sifumana umveliso ogqityiweyo. Ukunxilwa kukugula kwengqondo yomntu, yinto engafanelekileyo yempucuko.


Yisiphi isantya somntwana - isifo sengqondo somntu sihluke kumntu omdala?

Uluntu olubuhlungu kakhulu lunolwazi ekufikeni kwentsha: ku-14-16 iminyaka yezinga eliphezulu lokuzibulala. Kule minyaka, ukubandakanyeka kwintsapho yakhe iphelile, ngoku umfana kufuneka ahambe ngaphaya kwayo kunye nomzobo wentsapho enjalo ukulungiselela nabantu abangabazi. Umoya wophuhliso uqhuba umntwana ukuba athethe nohlobo lwakhe. Kukho into efana nento eyenzekayo kubemi bezilwanyana eziphezulu. Abantu abaselula abakwazi ukuzibonakalisa kwisikolo esiqhelekileyo, de kube baqeqeshwa kwiqela lezilwanyana eziselula. Apha bafumana ukuzimela, isikhundla sabo kwi-hierarchy kwaye, xa befumene la mava, babuyela kubemi, bancintisana nabadala. Abantu abafani kakhulu kubo.

Intombazana okanye intombazana ishiya intsapho, iyahlukunyezwa kwiqela labantu abaselula, ivakalelwa kuye kwindawo yakhe-le yendalo yemvelo. Kodwa oku kuphumelela nokukhangela inkampani efanayo kuyabuhlungu kakhulu. Ukuba intombazana engaphumeleli ekufumaneni iqela elinjalo eklasini okanye ngaphandle kwayo (ngokuthandayo), uyakhathazeka kakhulu - ngoko ke ukungathandabuzeki, ukungaqiniseki, iimpawu ezinzima kunye nezobuhlungu ezingabangela ukuzibulala nokuzihlawulela-ukugula kwengqondo yomntu. Eyona nto ichaphazelekayo yedwa - isifo sengqondo somntu ongekho ebudeni bakhe bobubomi obuninzi, esishiywe kuye. Ukuba lo lonwabo wawuhlala kwiminyaka ye-19-27, kwimpilo kamva umntu uya kuxabisa kakhulu iqabane lakhe, ukumxolela.


Kule minyaka, asikwazi ukuba ngabahlobo. Abahlobo beminyaka yabafundi basondele. Ngaba umntu ulahlekelwa buchule bakhe obuneminyaka yobudala? Ixesha lokwakha ubudlelwane obusondeleyo nabantu - abantwana, asebekhulile, isini esahlukileyo senziwa ukususela kwiminyaka eyi-18 ukuya kwe-25. Ukuba kule minyaka ufundela ngenkuthalo umfundi, uhlala ekhaya kwikhompyutheni - akanayo ubuhlobo. Ngeli xesha kubalulekile ukuba "uphume ehlabathini", uye kwenye idolophu, uhlale kwihostele kunye nabantu abangabaziyo, ufunde ukufumana ulwimi olufanayo kunye nabo, basebenzisane kunye nokuchitha ixesha kunye noontanga - baya kuhlala bengumhlobo wobomi. Le yithuba elona lihle kakhulu lokwenza oonxibelelwano abanobungane. Emva kweminyaka engamashumi amathathu, bonke ubudlelwane obutsha ubudlelwane kunye nokusetyenziswa (sisebenzisa olwaziyo olutsha, usebenzisa thina). Kwiintetho ezinobutsha zininzi zokuthuthumela, ezomntu, zesondlo. Aba bantu bayazi kakhulu ngathi, kwaye siyazi kakhulu ngabo. Ngabo unokwabelana ngezifiso zakho, ukwesaba, uhlala eziganeko ezibalulekileyo. Ziingqina zobomi bethu. Xa sidibana nabo, sihlale sivakalelwa ngamandla, nangona singazange sibonane ixesha elide. Kubalulekile ukuseka amaqela afana nama-25.


Kutheni ixesha lihamba , kwaye alibonakali nhlobo?

Ngethuba lethu, abazali baphethe kakhulu abantwana. Ixesha elibalulekileyo kunye neloluhlu lokuhlukanisa - ukuphulwa kwentambo yengqondo kunye nosapho - akunakwenzeka. Abantu abancinci baphoqeleka ukuba baphile phantsi kophahla olufanayo nabazali babo, becela imali kwi-cinema - oku kukhulula ukuziva bekhulile.

Ukuba uyise nomama bezisa intombi yabo kwi-disco kwaye balinde ekuphumeni ukuze baqhube umva, ngubani na umntu onokumaziyo? Kunzima kakhulu intombazana yasekhaya ukukhetha iqabane: emva koko, kufuneka ilawulwe yintsapho yonke. Omnye ubonakala engahlakaniphile kwipapa, okwesibini akuyona into ebalulekileyo - kumama, kunye nentombazana, ukuxhomekeka, ayikwazi ukuyihoxisa imbono yezihlobo. Iintombi ezigadiweyo zihlala ekhayeni ixesha apho unokuthetha ngokukhawuleza, uphila ngokugqithiseleyo, iimeko ezixinzelelekileyo, ufunde ukuzithemba kubo.


Uvelaphi kwimithombo yedwa?

Le ntlungu yedwa - ukugula kwengqondo yomntu unengcambu ezinzulu kwengqondo. Ukuba esesiswini, indoda yayiyingxenye yento engaphezu kwayo, wayeziva kakuhle, wayeziva ekhuselekile. Inkumbulo yale meko enhle isoloko isishukumisela ukuba sifumane abantu kunye neemeko apho siza kuziva ngathi siyinxalenye. Yingakho unokuhlabelela ngokuzonwabisa okunjalo kwi-choir. Kwaye ulale ngesondo! Ukunxibelelana ngokusondeleyo kusivumela ixesha elide ukuba sisinde kwivalelo yokungahlali. Kodwa kuphela nje ixesha. Mhlawumbi umntu wayephila ngokungafaniyo, ukuba wayeyiqonda ngokucacileyo ukuba wayedlulele ngokupheleleyo. Enyanisweni, sonke sihlala kwiibhokhwe zentliziyo yethu kwaye asikwazi ukudibanisa nabani na. Kukho ixesha lokuthabatha ukudibanisa nabanye abantu, kodwa oku kuyingcamango. Njengoko iimpepha okanye umzobo kumagqabi omthi ofanayo azibonakali zifana, abantu abazange bahambisane nomnye - ukuvakalelwa kobudlelwane obusondeleyo kuya kuba yesikhashana. Ingqiqo yokuhlala isigxina ifika kuphela xa sifunda ukuguquguquka kobudlelwane.


Emva kokumngcipheka , ukubonakaliswa kolunye uhlobo lwe-adventure kunzima kakhulu - akukho zakhono zokuhlala ngokuzimela, uzive umntu wakho, fumana amaqela akho. Ukuqhubela phambili ukuhamba ngaphaya kwemida yentsapho yakho kuphakame kakhulu kwiminyaka eyi-15-17, kwaye ukuba intsapho inika umntwana ithuba lokuba ahambe, uya kukhula ngokukhawuleza, qalisa ukucinga nokuzinyamekela, ngabazali bakhe. Ngaphantsi kwe-oki ye-oki ayikhuli - le yimiqathango ephambili yokukhula.

Emazantsi amabhinqa (kungabikho ubuhle) ahlala egcwele abantu, abanye - abahlakaniphile nabahle - bahleli bodwa-ukugula kwengqondo yomntu. Yintoni eyimfihlo? Indlela umntu azakuhlakulela ngayo ubudlelwane kunye nesini esahlukileyo, kuxhomekeke kakhulu kwindlela umntwana adibana ngayo nabazali, enoba wayevavunywa njani. Ukukwazi ukuthanda nokuqonda abanye kusekelwe ekumameni komntwana, kwaye kuthiwa yiyona ntembelo eyintloko kwihlabathi. Yenziwe ifikelele kwiminyaka emibini - kude kube ngeli xesha umntu ufunda ukuthanda, uvelwano, uvelise. Kwaye ukuba oko kwenzeka, sithemba ngokuzithemba ebomini, sizibandakanye kwiintlawulo zabanye abantu. Kodwa kwenzeka, ubudlelwane nomama nomntwana baxakeke nzima. Emva koko umntu akhula i-daffodil - entliziyweni yeempawu zakhe zobuntu ukholo oluqinisekileyo lokuba uyisiko apho yonke into ihamba khona. Kodwa ubomi abuyikujikeleza ngamnye kuthi, kuyaqhubeka njengesiqhelo, kwaye sinokuthatha inxaxheba kuyo, okanye asinayo.


Ngoko, abantu abangatshatanga ngohlobo lwe-daffodils? Ubuncinane, phakathi kwabo kukho ezinye ii-daffodils. I-Narcissism yintlekele yekhulu lama-21, imeko yengqondo, xa omnye umntu efunekayo kuphela ukugxininisa okukhethileyo! Nangona ejonge kwiso, uyamncoma - ndiya kuba naye, ngokukhawuleza ukuba ukuzonwabisa kukuphelile, ndizisola ngenye indlela. Abantu abanjalo baphila ebomini, bangaze bafikelele kwabanye, bawasebenzise, ​​bawasebenzise. Ngexesha elibalulekileyo, xa ufuna ukutshintsha ngokwakho, utshintshe abo bakubo. Ubomi babo bubonakala bukhulu kakhulu, kodwa buhlungu kakhulu.

Phakathi kwethu kukho abaninzi abangenakubukela omnye umntu, bazive bebodwa. Kwaye esi siqalekiso, kuba ukuba singaboni ubuhle kwabanye abantu, siyipenda umhlaba ngepeyinti emnyama-akukho nto inomdla kuyo. Kwaye ke sinalo uthando oluncinane, asinamathele nantoni na kwaye awazi ukuba ukutshintshisana kwamandla nabanye. Sizifaka entolongweni size sihlale kuyo ngaphandle kwengqondo.

Kukho uluvo: ukuze udale ulwalamano olutsha, kufuneka uhambe kwindawo yawo.

Ngaba kunjalo?

Uluntu olubi kakhulu lolona lugulo lwengqondo lomntu - lo lonwabo luphela. Ukuba ngaba abatshatileyo babini, abambalwa ukuba umntu uvela phakathi kwabo. Ezi zizo zithethe: emva koko, zathembisani ixesha, zinyamekela, ubomi babo. Kwaye akukho namnye owaziyo ukukhutshwa kwesi sibini. Basenokungakwazi ukunxibelelana, bakhula ukusuka komnye, kodwa bahlala kunye. Ukuze ulwalamano olutsha luvelise, umntu kufuneka aqonde ukuba ukhululekile. Umtshato sisikhokelo esichaphazela inkqubo yokukhangela (ulinganiselwe: malunga nantoni na, kwaye ungakanani ukuthetha, kunye naluphi ixesha lokubuyela ekhaya, indlela yokuchaza ukubuyela kwakho emva koko). Kwaye akukho nokuba kukho isitampu kwipaspoti. Kubalulekile ukuba uzive ukhululekile ngaphakathi komnye. Emva kokuba ndibe nomthengi ekucebiseni, apho umyeni wasekuhlaleni akazange anikeze umtshato ixesha elide. Kwaye kwenzeka ukuba indoda yakhe yangaphambili yayithatha ubomi bakhe obuninzi, bahlukana kakuhle, bahlala bedibana, baxoxe ngezinto ezifanayo. Kodwa ngolunye usuku ngexesha lokuhlangana rhoqo kunye nomfazi wayenemibuzo: ndiyenza ntoni nalo mntu? Ndibulala ixesha! Ngomso umyeni wakhe wammema ukuba atshade naye. Ukuqala ulwalamano olutsha, kufuneka uqedele elidala. Nangona oku akuyona imfundiso. Abanye abantu banentliziyo eyaneleyo nothando lwabaninzi: emva koko, simthanda umntu ngamnye ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo.


Indlela yokwahlukana kweenketyambo zeentsuku ezingatshatanga?

Okokuqala, kufuneka uqonde ukuba uya kuhlala ulololiwe kwaye ungacaciswanga ngokupheleleyo ngomnye umntu, kwaye wena ngokwakho awuyi kuqonda ngokupheleleyo abanye. Isinyathelo sesibini kukuqaphela: kuba wena wedwa, ke bonke abanye bodwa njengedwa. Unokuthetha nabani na kwaye ufumane ulwimi oluqhelekileyo, ukuba ngaba unobunye ngenxa yedwa. Isinyathelo sesithathu - ekubeni sonke sodwa - masihlangane kunye nento evuselela imvilo yethu. Sidinga ukuphuma kwindawo yethu evaliweyo - ukuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala kumntu kunye kunye nomntu ukuqala ukwenza into ethile. Ngenye imini, kwinyanga yokuqala yonyaka omtsha, kwafika intombazana encinci ukuba ndibonisane. Wakhalaza ukuba wayenesizungu kwaye wanyanzeliswa ukuba abhiyozele uNyaka Omtsha nabazali bakhe. Ndambuza wathi: "Kwaye abaninzi benu emsebenzini basele bengazi ukuba bawubhiyozele uNyaka Omtsha?" Kwavela, kungekhona. Kwaye ndacetyiswa: "Ngoko zenzele uNyaka omtsha!

Hlanganisa ndawonye , uye kwii-5 ezifanayo. Hlela uhambo, hamba ukufunda indlela yokudansa u-salsa, uthatha ixesha lokuzonwabisa-ubazise ngcamango. " Phumayo kunoma yiphina inxaxheba-karhulumente. EmaNtshona, kukho iziqalo ezininzi eziphula le ngqungquthela - ukuzithandela kwiindawo zokutshintshwa okanye ezithandwayo-ukuba ngu-godfather okanye unina kumntwana othile. Abantu baseMelika bayayithanda, kodwa baqonda: igalelo lexesha kunye nemali kulwalamano olunjalo luqinisekisa ukuhlala ixesha elide. Izicwangciso ezininzi kunye neenkxalabo esinakho, amandla angakumbi.