Kwenzekile ukuba bonke abantwana balwa, kwaye umzali ngamnye. Nangona oomama abahlala bephinda baphinda babuyele kubo bonke "asizange sibe nento enjalo", ubuncinane kanye, kodwa bajongene nale ngxaki. Le ngenye yezigaba zokuphuhliswa kwabantwana kwaye akukho nto enokuyenza malunga nayo. Abanye balwa ngokukhawuleza ukuba akukho mntu uva, abanye ukuze iinwele kunye neengubo zinyuka emoyeni, okwesithathu - ukulimala, ukukhawuleza, ukulinganisela i-cuffs ... Into ebalulekileyo kubazali abaqaphele umntwana wabo ngeenxeba kunye nemiqwenga, misela indlela uziphathe, uthini, ukuze oku kungayi kwenzeka kwakhona.
U yabona ...
Uninzi lwabafundi bezengqondo zithemba ukuba abakhawuleziyo ukuphazamisana nokulwa, ukuba akunakubeka ingozi kwimpilo yomntu olwa ekulweni. Musa ukuthatha icala. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukuqala kokunyamekela kwawo wonke umama obone ukulwa nokuthatha inxaxheba komntwana kwakuya kubahlula abaphengululi baze baze banike upapa "uhlanga olungaqhelekanga". Kodwa, cinga, konke kuyingozi? Ngaba awunokwenza kube nzima? Ingaba wakho omncinane uza kusetshenziselwa lonke ixesha ukulinda uncedo kunye nokukhuselwa kuwe nokuba ube ngumdala kwaye uzimeleyo? Unokuxoxa ngokuthe tye ngubani na onokusola, yintoni isizathu sokuba isizathu, kwaye kwenzeka njani ukuba uyigcine emva koko, ushiye yedwa nomntwana. Ewe, ukuba umntwana wakho uhlaselwe ngabadlali abambalwa okanye omnye, kodwa ngokugqithiseleyo kunamandla, kuyimfuneko ukungenelela. Interfere ngendlela endala: ngaphandle kokumemeza, ngokuzithoba, ngokucokisekileyo, nangona ngamanye amaxesha kungelula.
Yintoni enokuyenza xa ukulwa kwaqala umntwana wam?
Ngamanye amaxesha kunzima ukucacisa umgqugquzeli wokulwa. Kodwa kaninzi lo lo uziphatha ngobundlobongela: ukukhupha, ukuziqhayisa, ukhetha amathoyizi okanye ukuqhuba i-scabies. Kubonakala kuwo wonke umama ukuba umntanakhe akayithandi (kungekhona umloli, kungekhona i-badass it.p.), kodwa namhlanje namhlanje into ayikhoyo. Nasi kufuneka sizame ukuhamba, thabatha umntwana kude nendawo yokulwa kwaye uzame ukuchaza indlela yokuziphatha kakuhle kwinkampani. Musa ukuxhaphaza umntwana nonke, jonga nje ukuchaza isizathu sokuba oku kungalungile.
Qaphela umntwana wakho. Mhlawumbi uhlala ehamba phakathi kwabanye abantwana kwaye nje akayazi indlela yokuziphatha nabo? Emva koko cacisa (kunokwenzeka, ngoncedo lweengxelo ezifundisayo), ukuba akukho mntu ufuna ukudlala kunye nabaphengululi. Ukuba ukuxabana kuvela ku-zaigrushek, ngoko ke, ukuya kwi-sandbox, thabatha kunye namadola amakhulu, nikela umntwana wakho ukuba azame ukutshintsha ii-toys ngexesha elithile. Unokuphazamisa into engavumelaniyo nomdlalo othile: ukusuka ekubambeni nokufihla imidlalo yangaphambi komdlalo.
U-Ekaterina Murashova, isazi sezengqondo, umbhali: "Thetha kwonyana wakho malunga nezizathu, malunga neemvakalelo zabanye abantu (...). Emva koko, ulwa nokuvusa abanye abantwana ngokuchanekileyo ngenxa yokuba engayiqondi imvakalelo yabo neminqweno, ufuna, kodwa akavakalelwa "ukulungele" ukuthetha nabo. " (ukusuka kwincwadi ethi "Abantwana be-Cliffs ne-Children of the Catastrophe").
Ukulwa nabazalwana noodade
Ngaloo ngxaki, ndandifumana ixesha elifutshane: intombi eneminyaka emihlanu ngoku kwaye ixhaphaza inyana eneminyaka engamashumi nesiqingatha. U-Toigrushka uya kukhetha, uze uchukumise ... kwaye akusoloko, ngelishwa, ndiyakwazi ukuhlala ngolu hlobo kwiimeko ezinjalo. Ndiyayiqonda ngokuqonda ukuba ngale ndlela intombi izama ukutsala ingqalelo yokuba naye akanakho okwaneleyo kum uthando wam, kodwa ... Ukuzama ukuvuma ukujoyina omncinci akusoloko kuphumelela. Kodwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo ndithi incinci kufuneka ikhuselwe, kufuneka inikwe, kuba nje abayiqondi abantu abakhona, xa bekwazi ukuphepha ukulwa. Ukuze senze oku, kufuneka sifumane ixesha elikhethekileyo lentombi, ngokunxibelelana kunye nemidlalo kuphela yedwa, ukungabikho kobukho bomntwana omncinci. Ngeli xesha sidlala imidlalo edlala indima eyahlukeneyo, apho iingcamango zokuthi "junior" kunye "nabaphezulu", "zikhusela" kwaye "izabelo" zikhoyo.
Ukuba umntwana undibetha
Into echanekileyo kukuqhagamshelana nabazali bentsana, xelela ngezinto ezenzekayo. Unokuzama ukuthetha nomntu ngokwakhe, kodwa uthetha njengokuba ungumntwana wakho.
UGordon Newfeld, isazi sengqondo sengqondo, umbhali: "Ungazami ukufundisa umntwana isifundo ngexesha lokugqithisa. Khumbula, uqonda iimbonakalo, kungekhona ingxaki. "
Ezinye izazi zengqondo zicebisa ukuba zizakhele abantwana ngokwabo ukuba bafikelele isijeziso sokulwa (ngokuqinisekileyo, kungekhona ngokomzimba, umzekelo, ukugatya okonkcenkcesha.) Ngokuchaseneyo, ukuza kukhuthazwa ixesha elithile ngaphandle kokulwa.
Kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu, ukuqonda, ukuzinza nokuqonda.