Kwaye namhlanje - phulaphula-sele sele sele uqalile ukuzakhela ibinzana eziziwayo, ukuqiqa ngengqiqo kunye nokuphawula kwizinto ezenzeka kuye nakuye. Abazali bayavuya, bayamfundisa ngokukhawuleza ukuvakalisa ngokufanelekileyo izandi kunye nokwakha amabinzana. Ngaphezu koko, bafundisa ngokukhawuleza ukuba bathethe inyaniso. Inyaniso nantoni kodwa inyaniso. Ngenxa yokuba ubuxoki bubuhlungu, akuyi kubakho nantoni na into enhle, imfihlelo iya kusobala. Oku kufakwa kuwo wonke umntwana ukususela ebuntwaneni. Wayethetha-yibani nomusa, xelela inyaniso. Yintoni ongayenza xa umntwana wakho elele, kwaye ungamnceda njani?
Umjikelezo wamanga
Kuya kubonakala, kuchaza umntwana ukuba akulungile ukuthetha amanga, thina, abantu abadala, senza konke okulungileyo. Kodwa ngenxa yesizathu esithile asivumelani - kungekhona kuphela kubantwana, kodwa kuthi ngokwethu - ukuba ebomini akunakwenzeka ukwenza ngaphandle kokuxoka. Ingaba siyayithanda okanye ayikho, "ukugqithiswa kweqiniso" kusinceda sibe khona kule nyaniso. Abantu balala rhoqo: ubuso nobuso, bethetha kwi-radiyo nakwimabonakude, ngokubhaliweyo nangokubhaliweyo, kuluntu kunye nasentlanganisweni esondeleyo. Abantu balala nabazali nabantwana, abatshatileyo, abahlobo, oogxa nabo, abaphathi, abaphantsi kunye nabahamba nabo abaqhelekileyo. Kwaye, kunjalo, kuthi. Ngaphandle kokuba inja yakhe, mhlawumbi, ayixoxanga, ayifanelekanga oku - ukuqonda amagama ambalwa kakhulu. Iingcali zengqondo zibalwe ukuba umntu oqhelekileyo, ohlala kwisixeko esikhulu, ehlala edibaniselana nabanye, ngokuba lo suku uthi amanga ngokulinganayo amaxesha amane. Ndiyavumelana nabo kunye noDkt House, iqhawe lecandelo leecawa. "Bathetha bonke!" Uthi, kwaye yinyaniso.
Ndihamba ngelixa ndilele
Uhlobo oluqhelekileyo lwamanga lubuxoki bokusindiswa. Kubizwa egameni luthando, intsapho, ubuhlobo, ngokwakho, ekugqibeleni. Iingcali zengqondo zikholelwa ukuba injongo yomqambimanga ingaba ukufikelela kwelinye injongo, okanye ukuzama ukuphepha imiphumo engathandekiyo. Indoda idumisa i-blouse entsha yomfazi wayo, okuyiyo, ukuyibeka ngokuthobeka, ayihambeli, umbulelo umfazi ngenxa yesojiki engadingekile enikezwa ngumyeni wakhe ekuzalweni kwakhe ... Wonke umntu uyavuya, intsapho inokuthula kunye noxolo. Enye imbangela eqhelekileyo yokuqamba amanga kukubonakalisa xa umntu enqwenela ukutsala iimbono zabanye aze aqale ukuzibonakalisa ukuba akafanelekanga. Isizathu saloo mntwana usana ebuntwaneni bufihlakeleyo: endaweni yokudumisa umntu, wayedumula ukususela ebusaneni, ebeka umzekelo omnye umntu obethe ngokukhawuleza, waphakamisa phezulu okanye waphendulwa ngcono. Akulungile ukuthetha amanga, kodwa akunakwenzeka ukuxoka. Kodwa ukuba ufuna ngokwenene umntwana wakho ukuba alale kangangoko kunokwenzeka, mdumise kwaye ukhulise ukuzithemba kwakhe kunye nokuzithemba. Umntu oqinileyo, othembekileyo ulala kakhulu.
Ukususela ebuntwaneni
Ubuxoki bamabantwana ngenye yezona ziphandwa kakhulu ngabaphathi bezengqondo, kodwa akukho mntu uye wakwazi ukujamelana nayo okwamanje. Iingcali ezininzi zikholelwa ukuba akunakuncedo ukujongana nobuxoki babantwana. Okokuqala, kuba thina ngokwabo sinika abantwana lo mzekelo - siyikhohlisi, sithe cwaka okanye sixoke ngokucacileyo, sifihla iimvakalelo zethu kunye neengcamango zethu. "Imilinganiselo enhle" - ngoku aqhelekanga into engekho nje yendlela yokuxoka kwamanga. Ngoko ukukwazi ukudibanisa nokuxoxela ubuxoki kubonakala kwabanye abantwana ngokukhawuleza kunye nokulawula intetho - kwiminyaka emibini. Ukuba umntwana ukwazise ukuba i-jam evela kwinqanaba lidliwe yi-bear yakhe, ungakhathazeki. Ikhono lokwakha eso sizathu esinzima sibonakaliso sokwenza umsebenzi wengqondo ngokukhawuleza. Kwaye imibala ebalaseleyo imifanekiso kunye nezizathu zokuxoka kwamanga, ngoko, izazinzulu zikholelwa ukuba, ingqondo yomntwana iphakamileyo. Oko kukuthi, kufuneka uvuyiswe, kwaye ungakhathazeki - umntwana ukhula ngobuqili! Emva koko, yintoni inkohliso? Le fantasy inenzuzo kuwe. Umntwana ngokukhawuleza kufuneka ahlangane kwaye afike ngenjongo ecacileyo kunye nazo zonke iinkcukacha. Umsebenzi omkhulu ekuphuhliseni iingcinga kunye neengqiqo! Ngoko basebenzise njengoko banako. Ngenakuqala ukuqala ukuthetha, kwiminyaka emibini, malunga ne-20% yabantwana bazama ukuthetha ubungqina, ngeminyaka emithathu lesi sibonakaliso sifinyelela kuma-50%, kwaye kwanezi ezine zenzeke zonke i-9. Enyanisweni, abantwana abafikelela kwiminyaka emithandathu ubudala bahlala bekholelwa enyanisweni yeengcinga zabo kwaye abahlala bekwazi ukuthetha inyaniso kwizinto abazenzileyo.
Kwisohlo eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka
Ubuninzi obudala buyiminyaka eyi-8-9: kwimeko enye okanye inomnye ukwazi ukuthetha amanga, kwaye ngokucacileyo-phantse wonke umntwana. Benza oku, bathi, kwisohlo eluhlaza, baceba ngenjongo yokufumana inzuzo okanye ukukhusela okanye abahlobo babo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba kuzwakale kangakanani, kodwa ukufuna ukunyaniseka komntwana akufanelekanga. Oku kuyinjongo engafumanekiyo, kwaye akunakwenzeka ukuba wena uthanda umphumo wale mfundo. Kubalulekile ukuba ukunyaniseka akuyi kuba ngumzimba wezakhono. Umntwana walungisa i-deyce kwidayari yamathathu aphezulu. Ufunyenwe ngokoqobo ngesandla - kodwa hayi, uyaphikelela: "Oku kwenziwa ngutitshala, wayesephutha!" Kutheni ungavumi? Kucacile ukuba kutheni, - ukwesaba isijeziso. Mxelele ukuba unomsindo ngakumbi kunolu luhlu olubi, oluya kuthi, emva koko konke, lungagcinwa ngokunyanisekileyo, kodwa luye lwasebenzisa inkohliso. Ukhohlisa - kuthetha ukuba akayithembi. Cinga ngokwakho ukuba awunzima kakhulu kulo. Ukuba umntwana akaqambi amanga ngenxa yokwesaba isijeziso, ungammemeza kwaye ungasongeli.
Ndenzele
Ngoko ke sijamelane nayo. Enye yeengxaki eziphambili kwintsebenziswano phakathi ko "ooyise nabantwana" ngumkhwa wezo zilandelayo ukuba zibuqili kwaye zidibanise. Funda ukukwenza ukuze ungabonakali, bonke abantwana bazama. Yaye ngokukhethekileyo izipho zivela kubusana. Okwangoku, umsebenzi wethu kukuzisa izityalo ezincinci zokuhlambulula amanzi. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ke, ukuba uqaphele iziganeko zinyani zobomi babo, kwaye kwenye - masithi sizithobele thina-ukuba, xa bekhulile, bakwenza ngokukodwa ngobuchule. Ungayiqonda njani ukuba umntwana ulele kuwe? Kuyavuma, ubuxoki luhlobo lomsebenzi. Ukuzama ukunqanda intloko yomnxibelelwano, amaxesha amanga kunye nexhala. Itshintsha izinga le-pulse, isigqi sokuphefumla, uxinzelelo, ubushushu bomzimba kunye nomsebenzi wemoto. Yingakho amaxoki athengisa ngokwawo, aguqa, athetha amabinzana aphukileyo, ukukhwehlela okanye, ukukhupha, ukukrazula, ukuklolodela imilomo yabo, ukuchukumisa yonke into ezayo, ukuxhathisa amahlombe abo, ukubethelela iintende zabo nokubeka phambi kwabo etafileni, zifihla izandla phantsi kwetafile, zihlaziye iinwele zazo, zikhande iindlovu zazo, zifake i-earlobes yazo. Kodwa nangona umntwana wakho ubonakala kuphela kwinto enye, kunesizathu sokungabaza ukunyaniseka kwamazwi akhe! Kodwa ke, ungakhathazeki xa ubamba umntwana wakho ngamanga. Wakhula nje waza wafana nofana nathi ...
Buxoki
Kunzima ukulala kumntu, ekhangele emehlweni akhe. Ngokubhaliweyo, oku akunjalo lula - uyazi, awukwazi ukusika isembe. Izifundo ezenziwe nguJean Hancock waseYunivesithi yaseConell (USA) zibonise ukuba i-14% yamanga e-imeyile, i-21% - kwi-sms, i-27% ekunxibelelaneni okulula kunye ne-37% kwingxoxo yefoni. Enyanisweni, umntu onenkqubela enamandla kwiimeko ezinjalo uziva uhlobo oluthile lokungcola, uva ukuba ilizwi lentombi likwazisa ngokulawulwa okungalindelekanga, okumele akulungiselele nabangani bakhe imini nobusuku, ngokukhawuleza yaba ngaphezu kwexesha eliqhelekileyo okanye, ngokugqithisileyo, waba yindoda. Okanye ukuba unyana ngokukhawuleza waqala ukuthetha ngamagama angenangqangi kuye, ... nangona kunjalo, abaninzi abazali bangazithenga ngokulula ukuthetha ngomnxeba.