Ingaba ndikulungele ukuba ngumama? Ngaba ndilungile nomntwana wam? Umntwana wam undiphatha njani? Ngokukhawuleza kamva wonke umntu uzibuza yona le mibuzo. Sacela isazi sengqondo senzululwazi uMaria Kashin ukuba sithethe ngexesha elibalulekileyo ebomini yowesifazane (ukulungiselela intlanganiso nomntwana, ukuzalwa kunye nemfundo). Mhlawumbi, eli nqaku liyakwenza ucinge kwaye ulungele ukuziphatha kwakho.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, akusayi kukhawuleza ukuba ngumama. Ngoko ke uhlobo lomfazi luhlelwe, ukuba umzululwazi wesisu nangayiphi na imeko kuboniswa kubo bonke abameli besigqibo esihle sabantu. Nangona ngoku awukwazi ukuzicingela nge-stroller, ibhotile kunye nosana ekulungele, akuthethi ukuba ngonyaka, ezimbini, ezintathu, ezilishumi awunakuziva ukuba ufuna ukutshintsha ubomi bakho bonke intlanganiso kunye nomntu obalulekileyo ebomini bakho . Uyakuqonda njani ukuba ulungele (kwaye ukuba ufanele ulinde le mzuzwana)? Indlela yokuba ngumama omhle? Indlela yokuqonda umntwana onesiqingatha-magama? Masizame ukuphendula le mibuzo neminye ...
Ndiyathanda umntwana
Ukuba ngaphambili kwakunomnqweno phakathi kwabasetyhini uneminyaka engama-20 ukuya ku-23, ngoko-ke oomama abanamhlanje banokuba "abadala", - uthi intsapho yengqondo kaMaria Kashina. - Amantombazana enkulungwane ye-XXI ahlale ekulungele ukugula ngengqondo kwiminyaka eyi-27-30. Kwaye oku kuqhelekileyo. Indima yabasetyhini kuluntu yatshintshile: kufuneka sifumane omnye okanye ophakamileyo ootitshala, ukwenza umsebenzi, utshintshe amaqabane amaninzi ezesondo kwaye ke unqume ukuba ngumama. Ukongezelela, izinga lamachiza anamhlanje livumela abafazi ukuba bazalise ngo-30, nangama-40, nangama-50 kwiminyaka. Kodwa ekuphishekeleni ukukhula komsebenzi, ngamanye amaxesha sikulibala malunga nendima ephambili yabasetyhini, echazwe ngokwemvelo ngokwayo. Ukuba ngumama kunzima kwaye kulula ngexesha elifanayo. Ubomi bakho buya kutshintsha. Le nyaniso. Kodwa esikhundleni sokuba usebenze emsebenzini, uya kuba novuyo lokumomotheka kokuqala, inyo lokuqala, isinyathelo sokuqala somntwana wakho, kwaye esikhundleni senkcazelo yesikhombi uya kuva ilizwi elithi "mama". Ewe, kwaye ukuzalwa komntwana akuyikuphelisa umsebenzi wakho (akufuneki ukuba uhlale ekhaya kuze kube ngumhla wokuzalwa kwe-18 womntwana wakho), okanye esikolweni (akukho mntu ukhansele ikhefu lezemfundo), okanye uzonwabo (oogogo nomkhulu, ababelethi bavumela ukuba uye i-cinema, ivenkile kunye nevenkile, kwaye ngonyaka unokwazi ukuya eholidini). Phakathi kweebhonasi zokuzalwa - ubunzulu obutsha (amaninzi amabhinqa kuphela emva kokubonakala komntwana aqala ukufumana ubuhlungu besisu). Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuba abantwana abancinci bangakucasuli, ukuba uhlala uhlala kwiifestile kunye neengubo zezingane kunye nemidlalo - ixesha lakho lifikile. Ukungabaza kunye nokwesaba kuqhelekileyo. Ubomi bakho abupheli, buzaliswe ngentsingiselo entsha! "
NDIYA KWI ...
Kubonakala kubaninzi ukuba isimo sikamama siyanqwenela ukuba sisithambile kwaye sibe nesigulane, ukuba sihlale ekhaya, sinyamekele abantwana kwaye silondoloze umlilo kwintsapho. Kodwa bonke abafazi bahluke ngobabini, ngokuziphatha, nangengcamango yabo ngemfundo efanelekileyo yabantwana. "Ukuba, emva kokuba ujezise umntwana wakho, uziva unetyala, ngoko unomama onobuchule, onokukwazi ukucinga kunye nokuchasisa," usho ngengqondo kwengqondo kaMaria Kashina. - Bonke abantwana bahluke: umntu ubona nje indlela yokuxhumana, unokuvumelana nomntu, kwaye umntu kufuneka alahlekelwe yimeko leyo. Ukuba uyasondla umntwanakho rhoqo, jonga ulawulo lwakhe, umbize ngamagama athandekayo, uhlala unesinyithi kwaye umthande kakhulu - ngoko umama omhle. Yifunde kanye kunye nonke. Intukuthelo nokungaqondi kakuhle nhlobo. Ukuqonda indlela yokunxibelelana kangcono kunye nosana lwakho, uye kwi-psychologist okanye uzame ukuhlaziya indlela oziphatha ngayo. Uphumelele nini ukufikelela ekuqondeni nomntwana ongcono? Uyenze ntoni na? Khumbula ezi zihlandlo uze uthathe inkonzo. Kwaye kwakhona: ungazikhathazi ngenxa yokuba uya endaweni ethile ngaphandle komntwana. Awudingi ukuchitha iiyure ezingama-24 ngosuku nosana. Ufuna ezinye izalamane (ugogo, oomkhulu, oomakhulukazi, oomama). "
YINTONI INGXELO YENKCAZO NGAKHO?
Umntwana oneminyaka engama-school school isesikhundleni sokuxelela ngamava kunye namaxhala, kwaye kubalulekile ukuba umama omncinci angaphutheli umzuzu xa umntwana efuna uncedo lwakhe nenkxaso yakhe, kwaye xa, ngokuchaseneyo, ufuna ukuzimela. Ukubuza imibuzo ehamba phambili akusizi nto - akunakwenzeka ukuba uvale kumntwana wakho impendulo ehambelanayo. Abafundi besikolo bavame ukuvavanywa ngokusebenzisa umzobo nokudlala. Akukaze kukhawuleze ukwenza njalo.
Uvavanyo lwezithombe "Umama +"
Umntwana umenywa ukuba azenzele yena nonina. Makhe siqwalasele ngokungafaniyo:
a) Umama nomntwana basemkhatsini wephepha, babamba izandla, amanani ayalinganiswa, aboniswe ngemibala ecacileyo yokuqinisekisa ubomi - oku kuyindlela efanelekileyo ebonisa ukuthembela kunye nokuvumelana phakathi kobudlelwane beentsapho, umoya ozolile kunye noxolo. Vuyiswa!
b) Umama nomntwana abonakaliswa njengento enye, amanani abonakala ahlukana - lo mfanekiso uthetha ngokuqhagamshelana kakhulu phakathi kwakho nosana, akaziqondi njengomntu ohlukeneyo, ozimeleyo. Nawe? Mhlawumbi lixesha lokuthi "mna" endaweni yengane "thina"?
c) Umama upiweyo omkhulu, kwaye umntwana akancinci ngokuncinci kwaye emgama: oku kufumaneka kwiintsapho apho oomama banamathele kwimfundo yemfundo okanye bachitha ixesha elincinane nabantwana. Ukuba awukwazi ukuyeka umsebenzi wakho (mhlawumbi akuyimfuneko), uzama okungenani imizuzu engama-50 ngosuku ukuze ungekho ukuphazamiseka kwengane yakho kwimisebenzi yasekhaya kunye nefowuni nangengqondo!
d) Umntwana uthathwa kakhulu, kwaye umama uncinci kwaye wecala: oku kubonisa ukuba umama osentsapho usekwinqanaba elisekondari kwaye akanalo igunya elifanelekileyo. Ixesha lokubonisa ukuba ngubani oyinkosi yendlu!
Ukuba inani lakho kulo mfanekiso lingenanto kwaye "likhutshwe" kwelinye nelinye (iinguqu kunye no-d), musa ukukhawuleza ukufumana izigqibo. Khangela ezinye iimpawu zomntwana wakho, mhlawumbi ingxaki ayikho ekukhathazeni kwengqondo, kodwa ekukhuphekeni kokulahla izinto kwiphepha.
Naka ingqalelo imibala yemidwebo: kukholwa ukuba imibala imbala ngakumbi, bhetele. Kodwa phantse bonke abantwana ngexesha elinye bakhetha yonke imibala ebomvu emnyama. Kwaye oku akusiyo uphawu lweengxaki ezinobunzima beengxaki zengqondo kunye neengqondo, abantwana abancinci banomtsalane ngophawu olumhlophe okanye bashukunyiswa yinqwenela ("Kuthekani ukuba ndizalise umfanekiso opheleleyo nje ngombala?").
Uvavanyo lwemidlalo "Iindwendwe ezixhaswayo."
Dlala neentsana ngosuku lwakhe lokuzalwa. Izivakashi zaza kuye (izihlobo kunye nabahlobo), kwaye kufuneka zihlale etafileni enye. Ubani oza kutsalwa kunye naye, usondelene naye. Kucacile ukuba iindwendwe zingaba ngumama, utata, ootatomkhulu, abahlobo, amathoyizi, njl. Ukuze ube mnandi, hlala etafileni uze ufake iikomityi kunye namacwecwe.
UKUPHATHA KWAMAMAMI AHLULEKILEYO
U-Ira Lukyanova, owayese-solo-soloist yeqela "elinobuchule"
Ukusuka kwiqela elithi "elibukhali" ndishiya ngesigqibo sokuba ndizinikele ngokupheleleyo kwintsapho, njengoko mna nomyeni wam siceba umntwana. Kakade ke, iinyanga zokuqala zokukhulelwa zihamba ngandlela-thile. Zonke zihamba kancane. Ndiyakhumbula xa u-Anechka wazalelwa, andinakukhetha igama lakhe ixesha elide. Ngaphambi kokuzalwa, ndandifuna ukumthiya nguSonia. Kodwa xa ndabona intombi yam, ndaqonda ukuba kwakungenjalo ngoNyanaya. Xa u-Anechka wayesanda kuqalisa ukuphanda ihlabathi, ngokwenene, wenza konke okwakungenakwenzeka: yonke into yayivukile, igalela ... Kakade, andizange ndivumele le nto, kodwa yayingqongqo naye.
UAnastasia Tsvetayeva, umdlali wezobugcisa
Xa ndikhulelwe, ubomi bam buguqulwe ngama-degrees ayi-180. Emva kwakho konke, ukuba ngumama, akusayi kukhawuleza ukuhlaziya ubomi bakho obudala. Ndenqabile ukudubula kwiifilimu ezininzi ezicwangcisiweyo, kuba ndaqonda ukuba ukuthatha umntwana ngaphandle kwengcinezelo engadingekanga kubaluleke kakhulu kum. Kwaye, uyazi, kwakukho ixesha apho ndiqala ndiziva ukuba ndiza kuba ngumama. Ndakubukela umntwana kwi-computer ye-monitor ngexesha le-ultrasound kwaye wabona ukuba waphenduka. Kwaye ndagqiba ekubeni ndingaboni ngesondo lomntwana. Ndandivuyiswa gqitha kukuba ndinomntwana. Ndiyonwabile kakhulu, ndonwabile kwaye ndingumama onzima.
Olga Prokofieva, umdlali wezobugcisa
Omnye u heroine kumdlalo u-Maugham wathi: "Abanye bethu baninzi abasetyhini, abanye banina." Mna mhlawumbi ndingumama, emva koko. Kwaye oku kuqhelekileyo. Xa ndikhulelwe nguSasha, ndandiziva, yintoni inonwabo-ukuzithwala umntwana! KuSasha wam ngoku sekuyisikhathi sokuba, izivunguvungu kunye nezifiso. Kukho ukuqhuma kunye nokugqitywa kobudlelwane bethu. Yena, njengabo bonke abafana, uvila ngezinye izihlandlo. Yamkela imbono yesintu kwaye uchaze indlela yokuziphatha kwonyana wakhe, ukubeka endaweni yakhe, akunakwenzeka, kuba ububhinqa besilisa nabesifazane basebenza ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Ngoko ndizama ukungafaki uxinzelelo kuye.