Kutheni amantombazana adibana namanye amadoda, atshate nabanye? Yintoni eyenza utshintshe umbono kunye nesimo sengqondo? Kutheni uthando ludlula kwaye luvuka kwakhona?
Mhlawumbi, inyaniso kukuba kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo zobomi bethu, uthando luvela ngezizathu ezahlukahlukeneyo. Siya kuthandana nelizwi, imiqondiso, ezinye iimpawu zobuntu. Kodwa, ngokuhamba kwexesha, ukukhetha kwethu kukutshintsha size sithande ukudlula. Amantombazana atshate ngexesha elide. Ngelo xesha, sele sele beqala ukuqonda ukuba kuloo mfana igobolondo, njengokuzaliswa kwangaphakathi, ayibalulekanga. Umntu kufuneka, okokuqala, umkhuseli kunye nesondlo. Yonke indlu idinga umntu onokuqonda, onobubele kunye onamandla onokumnceda kuyo yonke into. Umdala intombazana iya kuba, xa efuna ukuba abafana banomdla wendoda yomntwana wakhe. Akukho nto engavamile kwaye ihlawulwa kule nto. Enyanisweni, yile ndlela i-instinct yomama esebenza ngayo. Umfazi unomnqweno wokukhusela abantwana bakhe. Kwaye ukuba oku kunokwenzeka, kukho umntu oqinileyo onokumthemba kuye.
Xa esemncinci amantombazana engacingi ngako, akhetha abafana, bethembele kwiinkcukacha zangaphandle kunye nokuvavanya kwabanye. Ngeli xesha lobomi, xa amabini amakhwenkwe namantombazana beqala nje indlela yabo yokuba njengomntu, bahlala bexhomekeke kuluntu. Abantu abaninzi bakuphulaphule uluvo lwabahlobo kunye nabaziwayo ngaphezu kweentliziyo zabo. Yingakho, ngokuqhelekileyo, ukhetha ubuhle, ungacacanga, ucekele, kwaye ungenomusa, ungabi nongathembeki. Intombazana ifumana umfanekiso omhle, oza kuziqhayisa ngabanye, kodwa, ngokuqhelekileyo, ngaphakathi kungumdum. Abantu abancinci abasenakukwazi ngokupheleleyo ukuthatha izigqibo ezinoxanduva kwaye baxanduva lwamagama abo. Xa konke kulungile, bekunjalo, behlala belapho bexhala ngothando oluthandana nothando. Kodwa yinto enzulu into eyenzekayo eyenzekayo-le ndoda iyaphazamiseka ngokukhawuleza. Ngoko kuvela ukuba phantse onke amantombazana abathanda abantu ababi. Kodwa kuphela ngabadala baqala ukuqonda ukuba kumntu ombi ngokwenene akukho bubele kunye nothando. Kakade ke, kukho abo banxiba imaski yenkwenkwezi yokunyuka, ekubeni, ngokwenene, babenomdla. Kodwa i-snap enjalo inokwenzeka ngokukhawuleza kwaye kulula. Kodwa ukuba indoda ihlala iziphatha njengebhodi lokugqibela, ungalindelanga ukuba intombi yakhe iya kuyiqwalasela ukumkanikazi. Kodwa, ngelishwa, abafazi baqala ukuyiqonda oku kwangoku. Abanye kufuneka bachithe iminyaka baze baphilise amanxeba phambi kokuba benze izigqibo baze bayeke ukukholelwa ekuthandeni i-romantics kwindlela enkulu. Esi sizathu esinye isizathu sokuba amadoda, ngokuqhelekileyo, ahluke ngokupheleleyo kwala bantu abatsha abathandana nabo abaselula.
Ubomi buyatshintsha iimbono zethu kwaye sifundise into entsha, ukuphoqa ukuba sicinge ngezenzo zethu kwaye sitshintshe izimvo zethu. Kubomi babasetyhini kukho amaxesha amaninzi amadoda ashukumisayo izigqibo kunye nokukhetha kwabo. Kodwa akusiyo yonke into eba ngumyeni. Kutheni kunjalo? Mhlawumbi inqaku elokuba akubona bonke abantu banikezelwa kubafazi ukuba babe ngabahlobo babo kubomi. Abanye abantu babonakala ngathi ukuze bafumane amava athile kwaye sifunde kwiimpazamo zethu. Kwenzeka ukuba abantu bangabikho nje kuphela, kodwa banokungahambi kakuhle. Singabacaphukisa, sithukuthele, kodwa ngexesha kuphela siqala ukuqonda ukuba batshintshile ubomi bethu ukuze kube ngcono. Nokuba ezimbi zingenza imiphumo emihle. Uthando olungonwabanga lunokuba ngumtshato oqinileyo.
Xa intombazana iwela ngothando okokuqala, kubonakala sengathi le nto yinto yobomi kwaye akukho nto ingatshintsha. Kodwa, uthando lokuqala, ngokusisiseko, lwenzeka, xa le ntombi ingasayi kufika kwimashumi amabini ekuzalwa kwayo. Kwaye kulo nyaka uguqulelo lwekhadikhasi kwimeko yehlabathi kunye nesimo sengqondo ebomini kuqala. Siqala ukukhula ngokwenene, asibonakali nje sizilumko kwaye siyazibonela, kodwa ngokwenene sikhula.
Kule nkqubo yokukhula, abantu abaninzi banamehlo ebomini, abantu, indawo kunye nomthandayo. Amantombazana anqumle ukuqonda yonke into ngokuthembekileyo nangenxanxanxathela, ayeke ukucamngca abantu abasondelene nabo. Yilapho ukuqonda kufike ukuba umntu ongcono akayiyo yonke loo nto, kwaye uthando aluyonto enjalo. Ewe, akufuneki ukuba ufumane ukuba umntu uyisilumko kunye nesidenge. Mhlawumbi kuya kucaca ukuba akukho nto efana kakhulu phakathi kwakho. Xa sisebuntwaneni, siyazixabisa, ngoko uzama ukucinga ngento yangempela yezinto. Sizigwebise thina kunye nalo mfana, sizinxibe ngothando. Xa intombazana ikhula, iqala ukucinga kwakhona yonke into eyenzeka ngaphambili kwaye iyayiqonda into enokuthi ikhethwe ngaphambili. Zonke ezi zinguqu zizathu eziyinhloko ukuba abaninzi badakalise uthando lwabo lokuqala baze batshintshe izinto abazikhethayo. Uyabona ukuba omncinci umfazi, ngakumbi ukhatyelwa kumntu ongeyomgangatho oqhelekileyo, amadoda angenangqondo ahlala eshaqekayo wonke umntu kwaye ayethusa kakhulu.
Kodwa kwixesha elide lokuziqonda, amantombazana sele sele eqala ukuqonda ukuba awukwazi ukwakha ubudlelwane obubi. Yingakho bakhetha abafana abavelele ngokuhlala kwabo, ingqiqo kunye nokuziphatha okuhle. Mhlawumbi le sizathu esona sizathu sokuba amantombazana adibana namanye amadoda, kwaye atshate nabanye.