Iyure yokwahlula isondele
Thina, ngokungafani noogogo nabafazi baseMerika, babenentlonelo eninzi - sinokuzinikela kumntwana oxabisekileyo iminyaka emithathu yonke. Kulo xesha eli bhinqa ligcina umsebenzi. Nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka ubeke iseshishini shishini ngaphambilana. Kukho izizathu ezininzi zezizathu, kodwa kukho ezininzi iingxabano malunga nalo. Iingcali zengqondo zikwacetyiswa ukuba ziqhubeke zodwa, kodwa zivela kwiminqweno yabantwana. Ngokombono wabo, kukulungele ukujoyina abasebenzi ukususela ngexesha xa umntwana esele ekulungele ukuzinqumla kumama wakhe - kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo kuthatha iminyaka emibili ukuya kwimithathu. Kubuhlungu kakhulu ukubona ukuhlukana kwabazali kwabantwana ukuya kunyaka. Kwiinyanga zokuqala zobomi, iimvuthu zenza umgaqo-siseko wokuthembela kwihlabathi. Ngamanye amagama, ukuba unina unondla, unxibe, utshintshe i-diapers emanzi, umntwana uyavuya.
Akukho ubuninzi, kodwa umgangatho
Iminyaka engamashumi amabini edlulileyo, isazi sezengqondo esaziwayo saseNgilandi uJay Belski, ogqwesileyo ekuhlolisweni kwentuthuko yabantwana, wathi abantwana abahlala kwinkampani yootitshala kunye namaxesha angama-20 ngeveki banokuhamba kude noomama, baze "bakhuphe" ngeendawo ezahlukeneyo eziza kubanika ukwazi ngawe ebusheni. Emva koko, amaninzi amaninzi asebenzayo aphuthuma ukuze abhale ingxelo malunga nokushiya. Nangona kunjalo, akubona bonke oososayensi abanokwabelana ngombono wabo ophezulu, bekholelwa ukuba umgangatho wexesha elichithwe kunye nomama awubaluleke kakhulu kumntwana. Vumelani, ukuba umama womama wonke usuku oluhleli naye kumntwana, iinqwelo ze-shredding kunye nokupenda i-pan, akunakwenzeka ukuba kuya kumnceda. Ngethuba elifanayo, ukuba uthetha nje umntwana wakho ngesigamu seyure ngosuku (kwaye kunye namanqabileyo asebenza ngokuxakeka kakhulu angakwazi ukuwufumana), ebonisa umdla onyanisekileyo kuyo yonke into eyikhathazayo, akayi kuziva engenalo uthando lomama.
Intsana, unina, ugogo ...
Xa unqumle ukuya emsebenzini, kuya kuba neengxaki - ngubani oya kumntwana. Ukuba umntwana unelungelo ngokuzimeleyo (kwaye ufikelele kwiminyaka emithathu), uyinike inkulisa. Kodwa ungayikhohlwa imigaqo yokuhamba ngokuhamba phambili: kuqala, kuphela uholele ukuhamba, emva kwesigamu somhla kwaye, xa umntwana eguqulela, unokushiya kwinkampani yontanga yonke imini. Yiyiphi intsimi ekukhethileyo yinkalo yongcamango kunye namathuba emali. Izithili zilungile ngenxa yokuba zithengi kwaye zilapha. Nangona kunjalo, kuyimfuneko ukubhalisa khona kwangaphambili - njengommiselo, imigqa eya kula maziko kakhulu, kakhulu. I-kindergartens imisebenzi ekhethekileyo ngokwemiqathango eyahlukeneyo: indlela ye-Valdor (egxininisa kwimfundo yokuziphatha), inkqubo yeMontessori (egxininisa kumntu ngamnye kumfundi ngamnye, ukuphuhliswa kwezakhono ezifanelekileyo zezithuthi), ngokweendlela zikaZaitsev (ugxininisa ukulungiswa okunamandla kokufunda isikolo, ukubala) nabanye.
Ukuba unyanzelekile ukuba usebenze ngexesha xa umntwana wakho engeneminyaka engama-3 ubudala, unokumthumelela kwigumbi lokulala (ukusuka kwiminyaka enye nesiqingatha), ukuqesha umntwana okanye ukhulume nomntanomkhulu wakho. I-Nursery yona khetho enokuthengwa kakhulu kwicebo lezinto. Nangona kunjalo, ootitshala bafuna ukuba umntwana sele ejwayele ibhokhwe kwaye wakwazi ukubamba i-spoon. Inketho kunye nomnxeba akubi kumntu wonke, ngaphandle kweendleko eziphezulu kunye nengozi yokusebenza kumntu ongekhohlisi. Ngoko ke, ukhetho lomviwa lusebenza nzima kwaye lunoxanduva. Nangona kunjalo, umntwana uya kukhululeka kakhulu kunye nonina. Ukuba, ngokuqinisekileyo, impilo yakhe imvumela, kwaye akayi kucinga ukusebenzisa yonke loo mini exabana nomzukulu wakhe othandekayo.
Oku kwakungekho ukuthuka
Iingcali zengqondo zithi ininzi yabamama abasebenzayo banengqiqo enzulu ngenxa yokuba babingelela umntwana ngenxa yezifiso zabo. Bacinga ukuba umama omhle kufuneka achithe lonke ixesha kwintsapho, kwaye angahlali eofisini, nangona akanakho olunye ukhetho. Ukwenza izilungiso, abameleli besifo esibuthakathaka besondeza kakhulu umntwana, bengacingi ukuba ngaloo ndlela bafaka ingozi ekukhuleni komntu ongu-egoist and manipulator. Umntwana ngokukhawuleza ufunda ukuba umama kulula ukulawula: "Ndithenge loo dodoli - andiyi kuba yedwa kuye kuze kube yilapho unomsebenzi wakho onyanyekayo." Enye indlela eyaziwayo yokuhlawulela inkohlakalo kukuzama ukuba ngumama onobuhle: ukunyusa umntwana kuphela ngokutya kwasekhaya, nokuba ufanele ufune ubusika ubusuku bonke, ngenxa yoko, emva kokusebenza kumagg and sections, uze ufunde iibali eziluhlaza ubusuku. Ngenxa yoko-ukuphazamiseka kwemihlaba, okungeke kulinde ixesha elide: akunakwenzeka ukuba yintombazana yeshishini kwaye ngexesha elifanayo ukufumana iisokisi ngamalungu omndeni. Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukulahla ukuhlushwa kwangaphakathi? Ukuba uqinisekile ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba xa ugqibe ukuya emsebenzini, wenza into efanelekileyo, phinda ubinzana ngokuphindaphindiweyo: "Yintoni endiyenzayo kum umntwana wam." Ngaphandle koko, inkunzi iya kudideka: umama uya eofisini imihla ngemihla, kodwa ngexesha elinye libiza ukuba ufuna ukuhlala ekhaya. Ngoko ke, ngaphambi kokuba ujoyine osebenza nabo kwi-workshop, zibuze ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba ufuna ngokwenene, nokuba unenye indlela yokuphuma kwimeko.
Musa ukuzibandezela ngokuzisola ngenxa yokuba awubalulekanga kuphela kwintsapho yakho, kodwa kunye nomsebenzi wakho. Ukuphumelela nokusebenzayo akubi nakakhulu. Abantwana abaninzi, ngokukodwa abatsha, bayaziqhayisa ngamamama abo oshishino. Ukongezelela, ngokweengqondo ze-psychoanalyst, ukuthanda kwakho umsebenzi kunokuchazwa ngezizathu ezingenanto. Ukuba unabo "bonke bobawo" - usondelene nendlela yakhe yokuphila, izenzo, iingcamango, ngoko, kunokwenzeka ukuba, kunzima ukuba uzikhiphe ekhitshini ngokumelana neepane, ulungele ngakumbi kumsebenzi kunokuba ulungele umnqamlezo kunye nekhaya elingapheliyo. Zidibanisa nomama wakho? Uza kwenza ummamkeli omhle, umama wentsapho nomfazi, kodwa umendo ohamba phambili kwinqanaba lomsebenzi unokuba ngameva kwaye ungavelisi. Nangona umntwana esincinci kwaye ehlala egula, zama ukufumana umsebenzi wengqesho okanye ufumane umsebenzi wokutshintsha, umzekelo, iintsuku ezimbini emva kokubini. Abaphandi base-Australia baqhube isifundo esiphezulu, ngexesha apho kufunyanwe ukuba oomama basebenza ixesha elide, bakhulisa abantwana abanempilo kakhulu. Akunakwenzeka ukuba badle ukutya okukhawulezileyo kunabantwana abasebenza kwifowuni kwifowuni yamabhinqa, kwaye abahlupheki ngokunyuka ngokweqile, ngokungafani nabantwana bendlukazi abondla ngokwenene abantwana babo ngamaqebengwane amnandi.
Untle ukhetho lusebenza ekhaya. Oku kunokwenzeka ukuba iincwadana, abaguquleli, abalungisi bezinwele, i-masseurs, njl. Ubungakanani bemali ezuzwayo buxhomekeke kudibaniso lwakho, ubuchule kunye nokuzimeya-emva koko, kungekhona wonke umntu okwazi ukuya ekamelweni elilandelayo "ukusebenza" ngelixa umntwana ecela ukuba badlale okanye kwi-tube "uxhoma" umhlobo ongeyathethi kuye iminyaka eyinkulungwane. Ngendlela, ukuba akukho ndawo ehlukeneyo yomsebenzi, kunzima ukusebenzela ekhaya - umntwana uya kuhlala ehamba ngendlela, athathe ixesha lakho kwaye usebenzise ingqalelo yakho. Ukuba uhleli eofisini ukusuka kwifowuni kumnxeba, zama ukunika lonke ixesha lakho lokukhulula kumntwana. Ukushiya imicimbi yendlu ukuya ngeveki -iyakwazi ukutshintshwa. Okanye ucele umntu osondele ukukunceda ngale nto, ukuba imali ivumeleke, kuqeshwe umgcini wendlu, kwaye uhlale nomntwana wedwa kunye. Kwaye ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukumbamba kunye nokumanga i-crumb - kuba yena umama wokuthintela ubaluleke kakhulu. Ngamanye amaxesha unokuthi ulungelelaniswe-vumela ukuba uye kulala, ungayi kwi-kindergarten, ukuba uya kuhlala ekhaya. Yaye xa uya emsebenzini, mncuma, nokuba ikati iyancwina emphefumlweni. Ngelo xesha, ungalokothi uchukumise umntwana osilayo, makungabikho wodwa ulahleke ngesiNgesi, ngaphandle koko uya kukuyeka ukuthemba. Kwakhona, musa ukumxelela ukuba emsebenzini awuyikubetha iibhotile, kodwa ufumane imali - yinkomo leyo ayiyiyo ingxabano. Ufuna umama, kungekhona imali yakho (ubuncinci de kube yinto eguqukayo).
Ukuxinezeleka kukhanseliwe!
Izifundo zibonisa ukuba bobabini abasetyhini kunye nabasetyhini beshishini bahlala bexinezelekile, nangona iinjongo zepen zihluke kakhulu kubo. Umntu wokuqala ufumana ubunzima kunye nobunzima obungaphantsi ("Ubomi buyadlula, kwaye andikuzimela mna!"), Ukugqibela - ngenxa yokungabikho kwexesha kunye nokuqonda ukuba abayithathi inxaxheba ekukhulisweni kwabantwana. Abamakhaya basoloko bahlela iziqalo zomona kumyeni wakhe, beqonda ukuba, bexinzelelwe ubomi kunye nabantwana, ngezinye iindlela bangaphantsi kweendawo ezifanelekileyo zokulungiswa kweofisi. Amabhinqa amabhinqa ngamanye amaxesha ayenomona onobukrakra, kwaye kungenjalo kumyeni wakhe ngokuthi ... unina okanye ugogo: bacinga ukuba unyana okanye intombi iyamthanda ngaphezu komama wakhe. Kwiimeko ezincinci zokungahoywa, ama-nannies kunye nabahambahambayo batshintsha, phantse nenyanga, ukuze umntwana angenalo ixesha lokuqhotyoshelana. Akunakwenzeka ukuba uhlaziye kule meko?
■ Yamkela, ekugqibeleni, ukhetho owake wakwenza. Ayikwazi ukunyamezela ukukhupha ukhukhamba kumanki, ukupheka i-borscht, ukugcoba impahla kunye nenye enye into enokuyenza umfazi wendlu efanele? Akumangazi! Tshintsha imithetho yomdlalo kwaye ufunde ukuhlala uxolo nawe. Ukuba uziphoqa ukuba wenze oko kukubangela ukungathandabuzeki kwenkohlakalo, kuya kuba kubi kakhulu.
■ Khangela abantu abafana nabo abaya kuqonda kwaye bakuxhase kumzuzu onzima. Ukuba awunabani nabani na, ukuxinezeleka kuya kuqinisa.
■ Musa ukuzibophelela ngemisebenzi eyongezelelweyo: uya kukhathala ngakumbi, oko kukunyusa uxinzelelo.